- Everything my family (outside of my dh and kids) does has strings attached. Would be very happy if we never had anything to do with them ever again.
- My cellphones battery is dead by 12pm every day because I sit on my ass playing on it until then..once it's charged. I repeat.
- I don't want to work right now, so I'm sitting at my desk reading SMC!
- If Dh gets this raise, I am hiring a cleaning lady. I don't care that I'm a SAHM. I didn't want this giant house. Let someone else do the work. They'll do it better than I would, anyway.
- I smoke and I still breastfeed. I dont care either.
- I have had a huge crush on my FB friend.he just for married and its so depressing.. I'm married too....
- I used to be very promiscuous in my single days. I'm married with two kids now and I still fantasize about having three ways and being with women.
- I always bring a meatloaf made from venison to the company pot luck Christmas party. I label it "Rudolph Surprise"
- As far as I'm concerned, that damn Elf on the Shelf is just a skinny version of Chucky.
- Had to take a loan to afford to be on maternity leave. Didn't tell my partner. Still juggling finances and just back in work. Miserable and too scared to tell him
- I wish I had the strength to ask for help for Christmas for my DS 6. He asked me if he would be getting anything this year. All I could do was cry.
- Tried taking my 8 mo old to a couple stores. He freaked out at Vons in the bathroom on the changing table I swear people must've been thinking I was doing something terrible to my son. Afterwards, I was so embarrassed I left
- DW made me a huge pile of my favorite cookies. I'm sure if this means she's decided she loves me again, or if she's just trying to hurry along a heart attack so she can collect the life insurance on me.
- I drop people off my Christmas card list if they go two years without sending me a card. If they ask why they didn't get a card from me, I make them grovel before I'll reinstate them.
- We don't have money so I'm making the kids presents copy right infringement here we come.
- My sister sent me a family picture Christmas card that included their dogs - I thought the dogs were the best looking subjects in the picture.