- Everything my family (outside of my dh and kids) does has strings attached. Would be very happy if we never had anything to do with them ever again.
- I'm turning 30 this year. I'm a bitchy person now, and I cringe at the thought of my behavior at 50. Oh good God, I fear for humanity.
- I dred telling the kids about the pending divorce, it's going to rock their little worlds and I will have to lie and tell them I want it too
- Currently in my bathroom while my ds is sleeping peacefully (finally) drinking a beer and smoking my 1 cigarette for the day. Finally. Feels like I'm almost my old self again. Almost..
- I feel like a mommy failure most days.
- H often didn't want sex with me for a yr after I had dd: it devastated me. But when I lost the baby weight he wanted it all the time. I punished him by refusing him and buying a vibrator. The vibrator is better anyway
- I've always joked with my wife that if she can't sleep, she's more than welcome to wake me up for sex. It took 25 years of maturing on my part, but I recently added, "...or talk while I listen", and meant it.
- I can't dirty talk in bed. Makes me feel like a total ass when I even try!
- The only reason I masturbate to porn instead of sexy pictures of my wife is because she refused to give me any when I asked for them.
- I transfer Lanolin to small containers and use it as lip balm. If my friends need to borrow some I call it 'All Natural'. Not one of them knows they just put breastfeeding nipple cream on their lips. Safe and works great!
- I don't believe in God, ghosts, afterlife or any of that. I don't dare say anything when people talk about the Bible, heaven, or pray but feel like I can't be myself around religious friends so I just nod like I agree.
- I just ordered a divacup because it's the perfect menstruation solution for a zombie apocalypse (or whatever catastrophe I believe awaits mankind in the near future). I've moved past hobby into obsession. I have a problem.
- In my house, Go The Fuck To Sleep applies to my husband, not my children.
- H is moody & unpredictable. Never know when he's gonna blow up or what will set him off, so I avoid him & only talk to him when absolutely necessary. I wish someone would save me. Our friends have no idea.
- I'm planning on resuming my bulimia shortly after my baby is born. Pregnancy has been the only thing powerful enough to fight the urge to binge/purge. I wish I could control it better but it owns me (for 16 years already)
- I miss doing coke. Was so skinny and had so much energy, and was so much fun. Now I'm a boring, fat mom of 3 and nagging wife.