Scary Mommy Confessions


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Confession #199134

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  • I was such an idealistic parent. I loved it, and gave it the best I had. Two of my kids have big psychiatric issues, and my teen daughter isn't speaking to me on her birthday... I have never felt so much failure and pain.
  • DH and DD are doing yard work out front while I'm smoking his cigarettes and eating her Easter candy out back
  • Toddler DD is obsessed with coins. She holds them by the fistful. I love her, but if she drops ONE MORE on the hardwood floor and scares the shit out of me, I'm going to take her head off with it.
  • My husband has been out of town for work. After the kids go to school, I go back to bed until noon, then rush around like a crazy person so I'm ready for the onslaught when they get home!! The guilt is immeasurable!!
  • DD4 always hides (well), and I can't find her. She did it this morning. So when I was doing laundry and she finally came out looking for me, I didn't answer to teach her a lesson. She went to tears when she saw me. Fail.
  • I always make sure we have plenty of Pedialyte in the pantry. Maybe for the kids. But probably for Mommy's hangover.
  • I got pregnant but there is more than one possible father. So I named the one with the most money. I am pretty sure a different one is the father, but I want more child support money so I can not work and get a nanny too!
  • My DD5 told me in the car that she loved me a lot but she loved Daddy just a little bit more. You'd think that would hurt my feelings, but no. It made me laugh and think "whoo hoo...finally some time to myself!"
  • I bought a small bottle of lube and hid it from h. We've been fighting over how often we have sex. On nights I don't feel like arguing I just dab on a little lube and it makes my fake happy "performance" more believable!
  • I only want sex once a month...if even that. h wants it daily but settles for once a week. It's all I can do to endure it. When my period comes I make it last almost 2 weeks even if it only lasts a few days.

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