- I tell my kids that if they lie to me, all their teeth will fall out.
- I told a couple with a screaming child in the restaurant I'd pay for their meals AND give them $50 on top of that if they'd leave immediately.
- I'm wondering if I am doing this wrong. D11mo cries A LOT.
- I enjoy sex more when drinking. I was on top with H recently and felt like I almost could O, if he lasted long enough, thanks to a few drinks.
- I just gave my kids cereal for dinner so that I could have a quickie with my vib upstairs.
- I feel like a sorry excuse for a woman.
- When DD3 asks me what I'm eating, I say "Green beans. Want some? " She says no, moves on, and I enjoy my candy/cookie/ice cream in peace without having to share.
- Chips, fried cheese, you name it - I'll double dip in the salsa right in front of you and pretend I have no idea what you're upset about.
- I totally cockblock my adult son - if he wants to get laid, he can damn well get a job, move out of my basement, and get his own apartment. Just like I did
- I decided to swing on my kids' backyard swingset and the damn thing flipped over on me!
- The truck in the employee parking lot with the alarm set so sensitive it goes off if I so much as look in its direction? Yeah, I'd have keyed the fuck out of it by now if it weren't for company security cameras.
- My husband had never been very interested in sex as much as me. In the last 6 months it has changed. He wants to all the time and I totally resent it.
- Looked at my husband's browser history, he watches such tame porn I'd be mortified if he ever saw my browser history!
- I wish I'd married a guy my age. My husband drinks too much and never wants to do anything with us. He just wanted a family for looks.
- Oh, fuck! - HOW did I ever think I was ready for having children and being a parent?
- I realize I should have left having kids to the professionals