- When it is just me & the kids & they go outside i sometimes leave Nick on, when caught i tell my so i just havent bothered to turn the channel but sometimes it is bc i like the shows even tho i am too old not bc i am lazy
- If they ever choose to pursue it, there's still a 300 year old tax debt my ancestor skipped out on back in England. I imagine, with fines and interest, the amount owed is about the size of their annual budget by now.
- I often walk around in various states of undress (sometimes topless, sometimes full monty) by my 3rd floor window and hope someone is enjoying the view.
- I've never thought of myself as having a PRETTY vagina but I'm pretty sure it looked better before I gave birth. Now I can only describe it as droopy and lopsided. Why did t anyone tell me this before I had a kid?
- My 2 yr old son just informed me that "Poop is Dangerous!" My response..... NO SHIT!!!? Guess he didn't get my joke??? Obviously I'm in desperate need of sum grown up conversation...
- sometimes I see people with not cute kids and go "gah that kid would be way cuter with a bow" and I judge silently behind my sunglasses
- If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have had children. They're way more work than I ever imagined. I wasn't cut out for this.
- DS6mo has hit all of his milestones on time. I'm so proud, but I'm disappointed that he's not "advanced". Makes me feel like a bad mom.
- I just spent $42 to rush order a pair of green sweatpants for my son's "cheap" homemade Halloween costume. I pay the bills so no one will ever know!
- I knew dh was going to want to have sex last night and I didn't want to so I said I was going to McDonald's to get a drink before bed. He asked if I would rather have root beer than sex...uhhh obviously :)
- when I bake chicken which is pretty much all the time I save all the chicken breast skin and deep fry for myself.
- Have always thought about renewing our vows. But after how things transpired these last few days, nah I'm good. Wouldn't want to marry him again!!
- The guy just came to winterize the sprinkler system. All I could thing of was ravaging him! So Sexy! Don't think DH would like that very much. I just can't stop thinking about sex. Nympho, yes! DH has no idea!
- I'm a Realtor. Out with clients and need to poop. Shit.
- I'm a pinterest scary mommy hybrid. It sometimes makes me feel badass and sometimes makes me feel like a woman with out a tribe.
- I cuss and yell at my kids