- I'm sick of my husband treating ds3 like he's 7 or 8 and should behave a certain way or know certain things. Do some child behavior research, get a clue you fucking nimrod!
- I am so sick of seeing before and after eyelash photos on FB. Bitches, I am not impressed by your $30 "3D" mascara. I want to punch them all in their eyelashes.
- I have no idea how to masturbate, and I have never had an O. I'm almost forty with three kids.
- I love man-on-man porn; I'm a straight woman
- Just ate the whole "sharing size" bag of m&m's with a glass of milk. Nothing like a 600 calorie snack before bed. I ate them just so the kids couldn't have them-I think the dyes they are made with are bad for them.
- DS 3 just said "I need a drink" hilarious : but probably a mommy fail
- I wish we never introduced our daughter to curious george
- When I was young and idealistic I swore I'd never have an abortion. But 3 kids later, if I were to get pregnant again I'd have one. Fuck this shit, shoulda kept my legs crossed.
- Told DH and kids that the "dishwasher isn't working" so I have made frozen pizza and mac&chees all week. Truth is I spent our grocery $ on airfare to visit my BFF, haven't told DH yet.
- Extreme anxiety, first Girl Scout meeting. I'm double fisting wine an beer. I'll probably puke tonight and be worthless tomorrow. I'm ok w that. That was hard on me!
- Went outside to weed my MASSIVE gardens then decided FUCK IT and weed sprayed all of it. Will act like I have no idea what happened when everything dies
- I'm reading SM with 5% battery on my phone just so I'll have to stop and get something done. Procrastinating til the last second even though I'll regret it.
- I am driving around my little town so I don't have to go home to my DH.
- Just wrote a gushy romantic FB post to DH for our 8th anniversary. What I really wanted to say = it's a miracle we aren't divorced or one of us in prison for strangling the other.
- SM confessionals is my new drug. I now have to put a time limit on reading them. Or I can read them instead of binge eating. This could be a win-win situation!
- DH had 1 night stand 20 yr ago and I gave him hell for half that time. Just ended a 2 yr affair. Hope he never finds out and pray that karma does not get me.