Scary Mommy Confessions

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Confession #205917

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  • I spend a ridiculous amount of my day silently narrating my life in 225 characters or less so I can creatively post shit to SM... but I rarely post anything!
  • I ran into a mom at DDs school that I never returned calls or texts from after the first time we talked on the phone for hours. I didn't know how to tell her I just hate talking on the phone and Im an asshole. Feel bad :(
  • I am dying to know if I am pregnant. 5 more days! These sore boobs and insane cravings better not be for nothing!
  • Spent 15 minutes flirting with an associate in court. He's so hot. I'm married/pregnant. Walked out to my car and I had gotten a parking ticket 5 min earlier. Karma.
  • I'm afraid I'm pregnant and I won't be able to finish my doctorate degree with a newborn. Horrible timing.
  • I have the kind of SO every woman wants: sweet, smart, attentive - worships the ground I walk on, basically....and I'm not in love with him. I stay because I'm hoping to 'fake it til I make it'. It's possible...right?
  • I resent that H's career is taking off. I have a PhD but my career didnt pay half of what H makes. once I had DC it made fiscal sense to be SAHM. I oscillate between feeling like its the best and worst decision of my life
  • I have to use one kind of body wash on my armpits and another on my groin. Scented products make my pits stink and the unscented one makes my vag itch. Pain in the ass body
  • I've been functioning on a level of exhaustion that should be illegal. I love my girls but I don't have the energy to be a fun mommy. If they are clean, fed, and dressed, the day is a success. They deserve better :(
  • My 2yo only eats at day care. I make him breakfast and dinner so that he can throw it all into the trash. This morning I got so mad I threw the food away and then threw the plastic plate and then some other dishes too.
  • I am in love with another man. We are both married. I am sitting here right now, willing him to text me. It's stupid, ridiculous and pointless...I know. It is also not working and that makes me sad.
  • Recovered alcoholic. Married/2 dds/new house. Wish I could go back and drink myself to death. At least I felt happy then, even if it was pseudo-happiness in the bottom of a bottle.
  • I think Daniel Tiger is a cute show, but the Father Tiger's voice creeps the hell out of me. No idea why.
  • It takes everything I have in me to not jump into his arms and kiss him and/or fuck him right there! GOD he drives me crazy... But I love it! XOXO
  • One of my friends is constantly posting pics of her baby and it always looks like his diaper is so full it may explode, on top of a disgusting messy house in the background. I know I'm a better mom and secretly judge her.

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