- I find myself thinking that although I love my 4 children, I should not of had any of them in the first place. They drive me crazy to the point where I have to leave the room and hide in my bedroom as to not commit a murder.
- My entire life can be summed up in just one sentence: You Can't Make This Shit Up if You Tried.
- I don't tell DW this but part of why she's hotter to me than our friends' wives is bc she's so smart & held onto the career that she worked hard for, then comes home & talks about adult things instead of poop and Caillou.
- when DS 9months cries for no reason, I cry to. louder and more dramatic. He stops and starts laughing mommy win!
- My DDs school is selling chocolate. this little girl taunts mine about the fact that she has sold more....I want to smash the rest of her chocolate, buy 100 cases for mine and scream "what now, B$&ch?".....she's 10.
- I do not think this kid kicking around in my uterus is cute. It hurts like hell. I'm over it.
- I'm in school to be an ultrasound tech. The only thing that scares me about it is the thought of having to tell someone that their baby is dead or not going to make it. Don't think I'll be able to not cry with them.
- My son only looks like his dad when he is cross. It's either hilarious or terrifying, I'm not sure.
- Mom made me take ballet so she could hook up with the piano player. He molested me for 4 years then ditched her. My family has been in ruins since. I don't trust men who work with children, don't want my kids around them
- I check my texts and Facebook while slowing down for a red light with my baby in the car. When another car pulls up next to me I immediately hide my phone so they don't think I'm a bad mother.
- Whenever a cable or telephone man stops by I bend over the couch giving him the best view of my ass / body while I help him look for a jack. What fun it would be to just fuck him!
- My kids spent the entire summer playing Minecraft, 12 hours per day every day.
- Totally crushing on a guy I met at an oligatory alcohol class. I make bad decisions.
- Forgot to cancel my proactiv automatic shipping after my trial. They sent me a full size kit and I'm afraid to look at how much it cost. Don't want to tell DH, we can't afford it...but I don't want to return it.
- I just binged ate yogurt and granola while ds6mo is crying if out...I know he just wants to be held but I've been doing that all day!! I need a break oh and at least it wasn't junk food I binged...right?
- As a kid, I used to pray for bad weather to cancel school. Now, as a parent, I pray for it to cancel football practice.