- I know when I'm ovulating because it makes perfect sense to get pregnant with BF. Lasts 1 week. As soon as the egg is gone b/c not fertilized, I can list a million reasons not to get pregnant again, EVER.
- I play Santa at the office Christmas party every year. This year, I didn't have to wear a pillow to fill out Santa's belly. Fucking diet starts January 1st.
- I feel like I'm cheating on my pets if I pet or hug another dog.
- I only contribute and donate money to charities that help animals. They never have a voice. People do.
- Was very suicidal in my 20s, now in my 40s and still dont know who I am. Glad I survived it, but 2 daughters later still feel like a walking contradiction every day and wondering when karma will hit. Scary as fuck.
- I have a newborn. I haven't showered in 4 days & really smell. When I whip out the boobs for a feed I think my child will turn away in disgust, but she doesn't mind....so once again I'll nap instead of shower...stankmama
- I pretend I am still feeding the baby even though she's asleep until I can hear that hubby has finished clearing up dinner.
- I just ate a box of chocolates that was intended to be a present for someone else.
- Sometimes I look at couples and wonder if they will get divorced.
- I actually enjoy Sesame Street, think it's pretty funny. I don't mind watching Daniel Tiger. But when Barney is on, I lie to my daughter and tell her it's over and we have to watch something else. I cannot watch that shit.
- If I had known how awesome having a baby at 40 was, I may have waited with the others. I just appreciate this kiddo so much more now & don't sweat stuff. But pregnancy at this age was fucking murder.
- I used to be hot.
- I bought a bigger wine glass so I could drink more and still look "responsible."
- I wanna be on Party Down South. I am 41 years old.
- Sad to realize my happiest moment for the year was a night out dancing in July. For four hours it wasn't about a divorce, two miscarriages, and a diagnosis of chronic illness. I was just free. Sad but happy
- I have a crush on my IT guy.