- I know when I'm ovulating because it makes perfect sense to get pregnant with BF. Lasts 1 week. As soon as the egg is gone b/c not fertilized, I can list a million reasons not to get pregnant again, EVER.
- I grew up in the 70's and 80's and, dammit - this shaved pussy look that's become the norm just ain't right!
- DH and I haven't slept in the same bed for almost 6 years. Miss the sex, but I miss him grabbing my breast and pressing his morning hard on against my ass even more.
- There is a HOT young guy at work, like 15 years younger. Every time he comes by, I get all hot and bothered!!
- I used to hate that I looked young. Now, as a 37 year old wife and mother, I love it! I consider looking young my superpower.
- Just baked some brownies. After I put the kids to bed, I'm going to smoke a joint and eat the whole batch. Hey, after 1 year of breastfeeding, not smoking and watching what I eat, I deserve this!
- I am a much better person and Mom stoned. I feel like it just chills me out which enables me to enjoy the moment. Not sure what that says about me exactly.
- My H will be off work for the next four days....kill me now.
- On the rare occasion that I decide to cuddle with my LO, hang out all day, and the do bare minimum around the house I make sure to at least swiffer before my H gets home so it smells like I've done something.
- When I'm too lazy to wash H's uniform, I spray the stinky parts down with laundry spray, wet the clothes in the sink a little and toss them in the dryer. Works well, actually.
- I have cheated on my h since we got married 4 yrs ago. I have never been in love with him. But I stay b/c of our dd. I am in love with the other man and have been since b4 I met my h. The only prob is he is married 2.
- I just masturbated by myself in the bathroom just so I could get wet enough to dtd with DF.
- As I enter my 3rd day of this head cold, the idea of using my power drill to put some drainage holes in my sinus cavities to relieve the pressure is sounding less and less insane.
- I'm going to a date tonight. I already know I don't wanna be with this guy. I'm just going for the good meal. too lazy to cook tonight. No guilt at all.
- I got so frustrated today that I told my DS2 and DD8 that I wished they had never been born and that I was putting them up for adoption. Worst mom ever, right here
- Sometimes when I clean my ears, it feels so good that my eyes water.