Scary Mommy Confessions
- I humped stuffed animals and pillows at a very young age..5 and remember having clitoral orgasms! It amazes me that I had the instinct to do it...and I'm not joking
- Boring!!!! I wsih I was DH: a man with a good carreer and no guilt for not taking care of the kids because it is socially acceptable for a man to do so. Why did I think things would be different?
- i put it on my husband last night like nobody's business. blow job till he came then rode him till he did again, rubbed his back till he fell asleep. that man is putty in my hands!
- Leaving my $400K house, driving my $60K car, carrying my $300 D&B purse, wearing my $200 sunglasses, and I'm heading out the door to my minimum wage job. Feels very surreal...
- I love my 6 week old but I want my personal space back.
- I'm 23 and still have the urge to throw a baby Ruth in a public pool
- had hot phone sex w/ my bf last night. it was after a fight of course but he is so sexy i can't stay mad at him. he's really a sweetheart, love him to death. maybe we can do it again on his lunch break
- I eat poptarts for breakfast but tell my DH I had fruit salad.
- I love my husband so much, but sometimes I feel like I love my son so much more, he always appreciates me.
- When you see me you see a 250 pound woman. You have no idea how much weight I've lost to get here. I'm a work in progress.






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