Scary Mommy Confessions

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  • It's 70 degrees out and gorgeous and my kids are inside playing video games.
  • My neighbor is a stalker. Someone filed a police report on him. He doesn't know that I know. I would love to send the neighbor's a note to let them all know. Pervert !
  • I found yet another empty bottle of Viagra that isn't being used on me. I want to grab him by his business and tell him it stops or I break the equipment!
  • My life sucks lately and all I want to do is eat to mask my sadness. But if I do, I will feel even worse about myself and spiral even deeper into depression. F'ing double edged sword.
  • I miss my sister. I wish she would leave her husband & kid so I can have her back. He's racist, self-important, critcizing & controlling. She is not allowed to have a personality & has to ask permission for everything.
  • Some times I want to just get in the car and drive fast. Especially when my kids aren't looking. I don't want them to follow me. I will come back. I just desperately crave ME time.
  • I have just shoved my arm down the toilet full of poo to retrieve my son's ds game (might clean it with his toothbrush!*joking*)
  • On the bus this morning I hit the annoyance jackpot: airheaded teen with a cell phone AND call waiting. Now I get to listen to her conduct not one but two inane conversations at once. Like, fer real.
  • I've told too many friends about this site and now I can't confess about them for fear they will know its me! Damn double edged swords!
  • I ate 2.. no wait 3 (yeah definitely 3 I think) of my daughters band fundraiser caramel filled chocolate candy bars yesterday while sitting on my ass playing online.. by doing so, no housework got done and I don't care.
  • When we play hide and go seek, sometimes I pick a really good spot just so I can have some alone time :p
  • I'm sitting next to the DUMBEST person right now. I want to punch her. Also, she's wearing a banana clip. Hello, the 80s called, and they want their banana clip back, dumbass.
  • I think I might want another baby someday. Pretty sure my husband does not.
  • I think about having sex with every woman who walks by in those long, high heeled black leather boots. Is there any other reason for wearing them other than they look sexy?
  • My SIL is so spoiled and self righteous! Wake up 24 yo! The world does NOT revolve around you! Even if your mommy makes you think it does!

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