Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Taking Back What’s Ours - June 19, 2013
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
I’m beginning to think I might be crazy. Well, actually I don’t think I’m crazy, but when I look at myself through other people’s eyes I can see how they might think so. Is that the same thing?
I sit here writing this from a drying chair at the hair salon. It’s my third time here in 2 days. Yes, third, and, no this is not a new part time job. I’m just not happy with how my hair looks. Again.
You may remember that my hair is a source of much drama in my life. Why it’s so complicated, I have no idea. It’s naturally an ashy, very dirty blond. (otherwise known as brown, I suppose.) I like it with blond highlights. Natural color + blond— why is this so complicated? Well, apparently it is. My old stylist ended up settling at a salon over an hour away, so I tried another new person. A super sweet person at a nice salon who seemed to think I should embrace my roots and ditch the blond. Which I’m not interested in. Which is why I am here, again, having her add more blond back.
I was embarrassed to call the first time. She was super nice and told me to come right in. The second time, I was hesitant to call and could almost see her rolling her eyes through the phone line and by the third, I was fully mortified. But, I did anyway, because it still wasn’t right. I know I heard snickering as I walked in and wouldn’t be surprised if they unlisted the salon phone number just to keep me away. But, it’s my hair. I’m the one who has to walk around with it on top of my head and I want it the way I want it. Or, at least close to how I want it. Is that too much to ask?
And then there’s my little website. You may have noticed it’s been a tad bipolar lately. I designed a landing page and in order to add it, ended up switching WordPress themes. The site needed to be rebuilt from the ground up by my lovely web designer, who I know is one step away from murdering me. I’m sure it doesn’t get much worse than coding for a control freak of a graphic designer. Every e-mail I send beings with, “I’m sorry, but…” followed by a laundry list of updates. I hate sending them, but, again: I just want it the way I want it. I’m fully expecting her to block my e-mail address and just forfeit payment, because it’s been a week and we’re still not there yet.
My contractor has simply stopped answering my phone calls because I call to check-in too much and I’m beginning to take the hint. It’s like I’m slowly driving away all the people in my life who I need to function. So, I guess it’s me. I mean, it must be me. Is this what it’s like to be crazy? Or, just really annoying.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
You have what I have. My husband is constantly telling me not to take on more than 2 big projects at 1 time and I can’t help it. Then I end up with kids and 2 projects and then if my hair gets screwed up I fall to pieces!
Your hair. Your Site. Your house. You are so allowed to be picky. But dealing with all at the same time with 3 kids…well I am sending you hugs because I’m there and I couldn’t handle my hair going too.
xo
Brittany at Mommy Words recently posted..Facebook is Aiming for Our Kids and our Conversations
That’s good advice. It was dealing with the two at once, which were parallel situations, that really made me question my sanity. Individually, I’m total normal!
You just like things the way you like them and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Too many times we women say, “ok” when we really want to say, “Did I say I wanted my natural color?!”
That said I do think it’s good to examine these things and think about them. Sometimes it leads to a changes we didn’t know we had in us.
So, you’re saying I should try being a brunette? ;)
Make no mistake sister…the hair is very important. Don’t feel even a little bit bad about getting it right. As far as the blog goes, I haven’t been doing this as long as you have, and my blog is mine…I want it the way I want it. If that’s crazy…then you have great company.
Christine recently posted..Keeping it real
Right? The hair, the blog- probably the only two things that are mine, mine, mine.
Your hair, your, blog, your way. That’s the way it should be!
I don’t mean to add to your worries/issues, but for some reason your blog isn’t feeding through to Blogger. I saw you had an updated post on Facebook.
And you should totally get your hair the way you want it. If she had done it right to start with then she wouldn’t have to do it over.
Jennifer recently posted..Its the most busiest time of the year
Ugh, fanfuckingtastic. Will you let me know if it comes through? I just tweaked something.
You just want things how you want it. I wish that I was a little more like that.
Jen recently posted..Pay Attention to Me or Else!
As I have been crazy for a while now, I’m pretty sure this is “crazy” and not annoying…you’re in the clear!
Rebecca recently posted..What Weve Been Up Toby Matt and Hailey
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting things the way YOU want them – especially when you are paying others to do these things. The hair thing: I’ve definitely been there! It is really hard to find a good colorist. I finally found one in the DC area that I LOVED!! Had her for 6 years and then I moved – my hair hasn’t looked as great since :-( Btw: I’m not getting any of your updates in my feed (?)
Kim recently posted..Paper- Pen and an Old Fashioned Tradition
I had one I loved too and then she left me. Sob. And, damn it. Will you let me know if you get one? THANKS!
You are not crazy and you are not annoying! You just know exactly what you want! Which is much better than being indecisive, now that can be annoying!
Alicia recently posted..Mommas Homemade Lasagna!!
You are so right– that is REALLY annoying.
Plain and simple: you need me in your life. References provided upon request. That is all.
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) recently posted..In which i tried to be sophisticated
Feeling good about yourself is important so you do what you need to do, even if it requires a fourth visit :)
Love how the new format looks. Just went through a redesign myself and felt the exact same way. I’m still emailing my designer a month later with little changes. If it makes you feel better, mine still responds!
Glamamom recently posted..I’M IN THE NEW YORK TIMES- IN MY UNDERWEAR
Thank you! It’s a work in progress and getting there… slowly. :)
I am SO like you, Jill. I think I pretty much drive everyone crazy. I totally agree with the “I want it they way I want it” sentiment. Currently, I am driving my realtor crazy. I want to know how the showings were and if there is any feedback, if they are still interested, etc., etc. I’m thinking if I’ve busted my ass to clean my house from top to bottom several times a week (and to keep my two children from messing it up after I’ve cleaned it, which is no small feat, mind you), I at least deserve to know what the prospective buyers thought. Our contract is up next week and I believe my realtor is counting the seconds until she is rid of me…at least until March!
Great post.
OMG, I have driven every real estate agent we’ve worked with INSANE. Totally and completely insane. I forgot about that one!
You are asking me? I just spend twenty minutes on the phone trying to explain to our insurance company that they gave us two seperate fire insurances and that I would like them to make just one for the both of us, but that no, the car insurances must remain seperate.
And if you’ll excuse me, I now must go and pester the men who installed our kitchen…
LOL. Why can’t everyone just live in our brains with us?
I’m fringe when it comes to hair. I’m gray and I rarely do anything with it. Just don’t care. But what’s interesting is that I annoy people with my apathy. It brings up all sorts of anger/disgust. I actually had a gardener who looked at me and said, “You’d actually be kind of pretty if you just did something with your hair.” Now, you’ve got a right to your opinion but not if I’m paying you. Needless to say, I fired him. As for you, I don’t think you’re annoying if you’re the one paying. Insane? Yes. Perhaps. Just a little. But so is most of America.
The gardener said that? What an asshole. And, that’s true. I suppose I’m in good company.
Okay you fired him, but as you were doing it did you tell him that at least you could dye your hair, but he was a dickhead through and through!!
you are not crazy
few years ago, I asked my hairdresser to dye my hair in “blond venetian”, blond with a very very little touch of red and when I saw me in the mirror I can’t help to shout : my hair was mahogany… and I haven’t tell you the worth = the main color in my wardrobe was (is again) pink.
I was depressive for a month and I have to buy black tops and sweaters, and I really don’t like to wear black but with mahogany hair, there was no other choice
(forgive my english, I’m french)
I am the same way, type-A, detail oriented, controlling, call it as you wish, but I honestly can’t be any other way. I probably drive a bunch of laid back people crazy like my husband, my best friend, my boss but I also think they help balance me out with their laid back, no planning, fly by the seat of their pants style.
Dear Scary Mummy,
Yes it is your hair, your blog – you have it how you want it. I would suggest however that you never consider plastic surgery!! LOL XX
In a different life I worked as a contractor. Ok, it was this life but it feels like a million years ago.
Anyhoo, if I had a delay on a job most of the time it was caused by a customer. In part it was because they didn’t know what they wanted or couldn’t articulate it so that I understood it.
A good contractor recognizes that this is part of the job and will do their best to work with you so that they understand what your needs are.
But at the same time it is helpful for the customer to try and develop a list of things so that you can try to hit as many as you can and not do it piecemeal.
FWIW, it is really not uncommon. I had more than a few jobs get crazy because my customer decided that she didn’t like the way the tile looked.
Which is why I always made sure that they picked it and not me.
Jack recently posted..What Is The Most Challenging Aspect of Blogging
It’s HAIR! It must look right, cuz it’s right on top. It’s the first thing you see when you look in the mirror. Plus, when they finally get it right, they will NEVER get it wrong again… They know you’d be back if they did!
Nan recently posted..Dear Fans
Transition sucks–especially when wearing it upon your head.
Hang in there.
xo
Ann’s Rants recently posted..Macaroni and Cheese- A self-exam
I don’t know about the whole hair thing but as far as bothering your graphic designer, I can tell you that every designer goes through that with each and every client. No exception. You may be driving her crazy but if it wasn’t you, it would be somebody else.
mommyshorts recently posted..Yeah- Well- I Was Never Prom Queen Either
Why is it so hard to add highlights to light brown hair?!
When I find a decent stylist (which I have right now), I tend to stalk her. She moved to Alaska briefly but now she’s back, so all is right with the world.
Good for you for going back to the stylist until she gets the color right. To quote my husband: “who is the one getting paid?!”
Mrs.Mayhem recently posted..The Sad Truth Is…
I’m exactly the same way about my hair and blog design. Thankfully I have a stylist who knows exactly what to do. I actually let her pick out the colors and style. She’s never led me astray.
For my blog, I do all of the coding myself. But as soon as I’m happy with the final outcome, I decide that it’s time to change.
It’s not because we’re crazy, it’s the curse of being creative.
Allison @ Alli ‘n Son recently posted..Merry Holiday Cards
You’re so not crazy. You just know what you want! And that’s a great quality to have. It’s better than settling for things that you DON’T want and being secretly dissatisfied underneath!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Happy Thanksgiving! Ari Has Croup!
Looks like it’s back to Georgetown to find the old stylist! You’re not crazy by the way. Ok, maybe a little.
Nina Badzin recently posted..CHEATING ON TWITTER
Dude. Crazy is so 2011. You are ahead of the gang and I’m following a step behind you.
OHmommy recently posted..Best money I ever spent
You are just following in Barbra Streisand’s shoes, when she built her “barn” in Malibu.
“Crazy is as Crazy does” then we are all a little crazy.
You crack me up!! I miss you too! Thanks for the birthday wishes! I have some design stuff done too, but I’m lazy!
Julie {Angry Julie Monday} recently posted..Brands- Protecting Yours While Working With Theirs
At least you see this in yourself. LOL And, I admire someone who knows what she wants and doesn’t settle for less. Just think of yourself as a strong personality with a small side of crazy. hehe
Rhea recently posted..Tangled
ever try coffee to color it? i have been trying this out, but results are slow…
http://www.ehow.com/how_2343597_dye-hair-coffee.html
LOL! At least you do not settle for less!
Chaplain Donna recently posted..How to Live When Someone You Love is Dying
Wow, if you’re crazy then I need to be committed. Writing you from the other side of sanity to say “you need what you need” and as long as you’re kind about it, and firm, then it is your hair. And your house. And your site.
dusty earth mother recently posted..Crazy Interruptus
We all need some constancy in our lives.. Changing all the details all the time – house, blog, hair – can throw you for a loop – and hair color is central to being! I have lived around the world, and every time we’ve moved city or country, I’ve had to recreate my world, building block by building block. Interviewing for new friends is an enormous challenge of course, and a new grocery store, dry cleaner, gym, church… One of the most anxiety producing for me, beside doctors, has always been my hair stylist! I have carried the name and color of my hair color with me, but the new salon always has a new idea, new brand, new color. I guess the stylist’s job gets boring, and they’d like to experiment – but on YOU?! I have had to change salons to escape stylists who do not believe I have my own best interests (and best hair) at heart. Hang in there, and happy ‘blonder’!
Sarah@afterhood recently posted..Birthday-ish
Both things are big reflections of YOU so I can see and totally understand why you would want them to be JUST as you want them.
I see no “crazy” here. Move on…
xo
Elaine recently posted..Early
No. You’re not crazy. You’re paying for a service and deserve to have it done the way you want it. As for the hair, you sound exactly like my mother. She has a tough mane and it gives every stylist nightmares. You have to have a strong arm to blow-dry that baby. I can’t tell you how many times she ended up in tears after a trip to the salon.
Point it…give ‘em hell, Jill!
The Flying Chalupa recently posted..The Monster Mash
I bet your hair looks awesome. You are fabulous Jill. Don’t worry…it’s totally them. Not you.
life with kaishon recently posted..It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life that no man can help another without helping himself Ralph Waldo Emerson
jill, you go girl! :)