Jeff and I never took birthing classes. We signed up at the hospital, but found them boring as hell and dropped out after spending the first Saturday playing hangman for two hours straight. I’ve never taken a child rearing class or read an entire book dedicated to children. I’ve just never felt the need. I have, however, taken numerous classes on puppy training and read many a book on the subject. Because of this, I often find myself applying dog principles to my children. Dogs, kids– what’s the difference, right?
During our first puppy training class, I recall being instructed not to reprimand Penelope for something that happened more than a few moments ago since her little puppy brain wouldn’t connect the crime and the punishment. It’s vital to catch them in the act of destruction in order to teach them right from wrong. A chewed up shoe that sits out for an hour can no longer be used as a lesson of what is and isn’t an appropriate chew toy. This tid-bit came flooding back to me yesterday as I made some unfortunate discoveries in my bedroom.
Last Friday I found a black Sharpie in Lily’s room. It was sitting on her dresser, clearly up to no good. I took it downstairs and explained that permanent makers are not meant for kids. With big eyes and a red face, she nodded her head, “forgetting” if she had ever used the marker. It’s been sitting in my desk drawer ever since, and I thought we averted what could have been a black permanent disaster.
And then last night, as I put a dab of Vaseline on my lips, I noticed that the lid was labeled “Mommy.” Interesting. And when I reached to turn out the light, something appeared to be on the shade. As I tried to rub it off, I noticed that it was a big black M. Upon further investigation, I found my name, or some variation, on 14 different items in and around my bedroom. How had I not noticed the label on our door, the drawings that had obviously been altered, or my book marred with an enormous M before last night? Clearly, Lily managed to “forget” a good deal of mischief.
The damage was done, though, and I saw no point in punishing her for a crime that had been committed almost a week ago. Lily and I had another talk about the permanence of permanent markers and they now all reside far out of the reach of little hands. I’m just grateful she didn’t find it necessary to label my half of the bedding. Besides, I think a mishap with a permanent marker is sort of a rite of passage, no?
At least that’s what they taught us in puppy class.
Previous post: Girls Night Out
Next post: Typing 101
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
She”s too funny. I”m sure she was thinking how appreciative you would be for making sure that EVERYONE knew those were your things! Thanks for linking up to my top ten!
At least she did not label her siblings.
….dashing upstairs to go grab the big black marker I’ve left on my son’s dresser….
:)
Good organizational skills are always helpful. You might consider cultivating her natural talent.
BTW, thanks for the Hot Daddy Blogger shout out. Whoo hoo!!!!
And of course I voted for you. :)
yup, things getting colored with markers has to happen it is just a matter of time.
Look at the bright side……………your items will already be marked with your name when you have to move into the nursing home……………
We always said before we had kids it would be a lot like raising a puppy – which we had done several times. Indeed it sounds like it is! We’re learning with our little one too! Thanks for the laughs.
I hate markers. They always seem to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and mischief always seems to be had.
My friend and her hubs have the best marker story ever. She was writing on him one day in “hidden” spots, and decided to write “don’t touch this” close to a certain private area. That night he got really sick and had to go to the ER. He had appendicitis and it had to be removed. The last thing he remembers before the gas was the surgical staff snickering and doing MC Hammer impersonations. Dunh….. du.du.dunh. Oh yeah.
One school of thought is that if one were to ‘punish’ for a crime previously committed…again with the puppy>brain>connection thing…she would not know right from wrong.
Another school of though is that she needs to know the difference between telling the truth about something she has done wrong and even though she did something bad, covering it up by saying ‘I don’t remember’ is tantamount to lying and that is not good .
And yet another school of thought is….boarding school.
I’d go batshit if my kid used permenant marker anywhere.
Be so thankful that she did not use the marker on the skin of herself or the other kids. My step-sisters did this with a red PERMANENT market; colored their entire face in red as well as their arms, legs, and the white walls of the bathroom and the bathroom sink. Don’t get me started on the time they found the self-adhering postage stamps and stuck over 100 stamps to the wall! Holy Moly! oh yeah, I could help but laugh (I was babysitting them at the time).
I wanted to trade my son for a puppy after our Sharpie incident…
I agree 100 and 10 percent : ). SO funny! It could have been worse.
omg. I’d scream. Fuck the fact that it happened a week ago! That shit ain’t supposed to happen AT ALL!!
ARGH.
Well, with that being said, I have this awesome ‘poster’– as he calls it, that says, “Mom You rock! Your a rock star!!!” glue-sticked to my bedroom wall….
I have always thought kid rearing and puppy training were highly similar (of course, I don’t have children so, what do I really know). Unfortunately I have heard you can’t crate train children…
I wish she’d come over here and label my kids’ stuff so that they’d stop fighting over whose is whose.
But you’re right–I think she learned the lesson without your revisiting it.
Oh, you are SOOO forgiving.
Unfortunately my son’s “rite of passage” came in the color BLUE at the expense of my sister’s carpet, couch, and lamp. Sorry Sis!
BTW are you still doing entrecard? Where’s your widget?
I have 2 Apple keyboards that have been permanently colorized. Since though there have been no more incidents.
Oh my god she is so so funny. Loved this story! Matt and I bailed on our birthing classes too. I figured (still do) I can get any info needed from our doctors.
Sorry, I couldn’t get through this post without LMAO. Just the imagery of her walking around your room labeling your stuff. It’s good you didn’t punish her because one – she saved you loads of money on personalized labels and two – it’s clearly your fault for not ever telling her this was something wrong to do – since she clearly had no idea – since she did it all to your stuff…HELPING you. OMG – I just can not understand the brain’s of children.
Well, at least she knows what belongs to you right?
I might still have flipped a little though.
As far as kids and puppies being alike, I still give me child and dog one word commands at times. :)
Oh, I’ve had those moments of panic… where you find something in their room (like a Sharpie) that shouldn’t be in there…
I, of course, would fly off the handle and screech, “What is THIS doing in your room?!?!!”
VINEGAR!! Use vinegar! It gets permanent marker off!!!
Great write up though – loved how you captured it, moved on, and our kids are going to do these things :) Mine chopped her hair last fall….ahhhhhh, gotta love mommyhood!
Thanks for sharing!!!!!
I suppose it could be worse.
She could be spelling swear words.
I’m popping over from Angie’s to say “great job” on the post! I really love how you write and this one is exceptional, too! I think permanent markers should be banned! LOL! Like the above commentor said, though…it could ALWAYS be worse!
I can’t believe another child out there did the same thing mine did – I thought I was the only fortunate being to have her lamp shade labeled “mommy” and the lamp on daddy’s side labeled “daddy.”
And how can you possible be upset when they spell it correctly! :)
OMG my kids did/do that crap. You are so much calmer than I was/am. Even as a teenager, she STILL write on herself, paints her nails with them and giving herself “tattoes”. It’s some Sharpie addiction.
There are permanent markers at Girl Scouts and I keep them FAR away from my 2nd and 3rd grade Brownies. I think they need child-proof caps.
I’m so glad I found your blog through Angie’s blog today. :) Your post completely made me crack up! I also apply things to parenthood that I learned in puppy/doggy training. hehe.
I laughed so much when I read this that I just about pee-d myself. It was deja-vu. I’ve so been EXACTLY there.
Odd how it’s so much funnier when it happens to you though…lol.
I still have to tell my 13 year old son that we DON’T write on the entirety of our arms. No matter how forgetful we are. :-)
I’m pretty sure that most of what I see on “dog Whisperer” would work on kids too! And now when my hubby does anything that annoys me I just make the “chhhhhht” sound and he stops. WOW works on kid, men and dogs! Who knew.
An artistic child how lucky for you, an organized exacting artistic child, YUP! Lucky! My son decided to be a veterinarian and unloaded a huge jar of desitin on his oversized stuffed toy lamb. It was sad- we had to euthanize…
You make a really good point. I wish I had read this post yesterday, when I got mad when I found that Stella had emptied a brand-new jar of RealSalt (which retails for about $5 – I know, I know!) on the kitchen floor and on the table. SUCH joy, these children bring ;-)
You make a really good point. I wish I had read this post yesterday, when I got mad when I found that Stella had emptied a brand-new jar of RealSalt (which retails for about $5 – I know, I know!) on the kitchen floor and on the table – the 3rd time she did that.
SUCH joy, these children bring ;-)
Ok this is totally cute, but never the less bad, very bad…but still kinda adorable.
Funny!!! It is hard to get mad at them when they try to help so much!
You did a great job today on Angie’s page. I love this story. I hope it all comes off.
I have found a few similarities between puppies and husbands too!
Or maybe I should say My Hubby!
Laughing too hard. So random (yet clever) for her to label stuff, but what are kids if not random. You handled well!
I have a bunch of graffiti artist here too. Everytime I change my sheets I see the drawing someone did on my mattress with a black sharpie.
Permanent markers and scissors to the bangs: two very important rights of passage, indeed.
Natalie got a hold of a permanent marker and colored on our walls.
We’re in military housing so the house doesn’t technically belong to us. This means we’re going to have to pay when we move out. I guess we could try to paint over it but base housing uses a specific shade of white and I could see them going, “Yes, that’ll be two hundred dollars for painting the walls with the wrong color.”
I try to hide all the permanent markers now.
I have read the horror stories about black markers! YIKES! and I never took those baby classes either… I guess I thought I would get it on my own anyways! LOL
Every time I pull the car into the garage, I encounter a memory that’s at least 15 years old. My little girl wanted something to be hers, so she etched her name into the garage wall. Some things…like love…are just indelible, right?
This is fitting for the Coco house right now. I have a big black “M” on the leather armrest in my Tahoe.
Upon asking why he did it, he said, “I was spelling Mommy just for you!”
And the reason he was in the car not in his carseat is b/c I was vacuuming the sand in the back back. Obviously not paying attention.
quite frankly, you are right. Puppy, kid same memory.