Parenting

Dads Take Way More 'Me Time' Than Moms Because Of Course They Do

by Valerie Williams
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A new survey proves that dads take more “me time” than moms

A new survey is showing what most women already know — dads feel a lot more free to take “me time” than moms. As the pandemic stretches into its 11th month of upending family life as we know it, it seems we’re continuing the awful trend of moms shouldering most of the household burdens while dads have a lot more time to chill.

The survey, conducted by Zulily, has some pretty sad stats, y’all. Let’s start with the fact that 88 percent of moms surveyed say their role in the family is primarily that of the “giver.” That number adds up when you consider that 68 percent of moms say they take only 1-5 hours of “me time” each week compared to 37 percent of dads taking 6-10 hours for themselves each week. Only 26 percent of dads report the lower number of hours to themselves.

As the holidays are in full swing, it’s important to note that 70 percent of moms say they don’t get enough credit for all the work that goes into the holidays. My husband would argue that this is because he would be totally fine not doing most of what *I* find wholly necessary, but he seems awfully pleased when gazing upon the results of my constant efforts.

It probably won’t be surprising to hear that 87 percent of moms say women do the household shopping – while 46 percent of dads say men do; but only 1 percent of moms agree that men do the shopping. So. Little bit of a disconnect there, guys. Now that the holidays are here, which means a whole lot more shopping, it might be cool of dudes to step up and take on more of that burden. Even if it’s largely online (thanks, COVID) it’s still stressful having to find and purchase gifts for everyone on the family’s list.

A full 90 percent of moms say there’s societal pressure to be a “super” mom with just 52 percent of surveyed parents saying that pressure exists for dads too. Naturally, 56 percent of dads believe they’re “super” dads while only 42 percent of moms see themselves that way. Because of course.

I won’t ever say I’m “lucky” that my husband equally shoulders our household burdens because that should be the standard, not the exception. But even though our “me time” is equal, I tend to struggle with more guilt when it comes to taking it. My husband doesn’t think twice about putting in an extra long workout on a Saturday morning or binge-watching a favorite show for hours if he’s able. Contrast that with how I’m always adding up my free hours and making sure the majority are devoted to our kids or taking care of things around the house. I can take more me time now that our kids are older and more independent, I just struggle with that pressure mentioned in the survey to be “super mom.”

Moms, please join me in setting down those ridiculous expectations during this pandemic holiday season. Even if we only get to three things out of 20 on the never-ending list, we did good. We deserve a little “me time” in front of the tree we worked so hard to decorate, sipping our beverage of choice and watching Hallmark Christmas movies.