Dear soon-to-be Mom of two,
I don’t know you. But I feel like I do.
I used to be you.
And I was terrified.
I thought of you today. I don’t know your name, and I don’t know what you look like. But I still thought of you. I wondered if you were holding your breath as you waited for the home pregnancy test to deliver your fate, not sure if you should be thrilled or petrified. I wondered if you are finding it hard to chase after your toddler because you are so exhausted from the constant
morning all-the-time sickness. I wondered if you were crying over your child’s bed tonight, trying to figure out why you ever thought it would be a good idea to “try again” so soon. I wondered if you looked down at your swollen belly with guilt, thinking, “How could I POSSIBLY love you as much as I love my firstborn?” I wondered if you looked at your firstborn with guilt, thinking, “How could I have done this to you?”
I thought of you … because I WAS you.
And I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that it’s going to be OK.
Because it is.
I wish I could tell you that from the moment your second child enters your life, you will feel strong and confident, and that that feeling will never go away … but I can’t.
I also wish I could tell you it was going to be easy … but I can’t.
Because it isn’t.
Tough times are ahead of you. You’ll have moments when you’re trying to feed a hungry baby and cajole a grumpy toddler onto the potty seat and you’ll wish you had three extra hands, a second brain (or even just a single not-so-sleep-deprived one), and a carton of ice cream that no one expects you to share. You’ll likely leave at least one restaurant in tears, vowing that you’ll never again take your children out in public. You’ll spend a lot of time breaking up arguments (and/or perfecting the art of tuning them out). You’ll wonder if you’re going to be able to sleep again, or shower in peace again, or carry on a thoughtful conversation again. For a while, you’re going to be wiped out.
I can’t tell you it’s going to be easy.
But I can tell you this:
I can tell you that one day your younger child will be trying to tell you a story but will leave out a crucial detail. And that, confused, you’ll turn to your older child, who will be able to effortlessly bring you up to speed. And then your world will stop spinning in one breathless moment as you realize that those two … they complete each other.
I can tell you what I wish I could tell myself (five years ago). That breathless moment? It will come. And it will make it all worth it.
That’s what you need to know, Mom. Today, you worry about what your pregnancy is taking away from your precious only child. You worry because you’re too sick to cook wholesome dinners. You worry because you’re too tired to go to the park. You worry because trips to the library are being replaced with Netflix binge sessions as you collapse, exhausted, on the couch. You worry and you worry and you worry, because that’s what we do as parents. We worry.
But today, worry a little less.
This season of life … it’s just a season. And everything that you’re “taking away” from your child will be returned tenfold. One day you’ll wake up and find your kids playing together. You’ll walk into the room and they won’t even notice you’re there because they’re so busy having fun together. They’ll be giggling and building and discussing and making memories.
That won’t be every moment of the day. It probably won’t even be most moments of the day.
But these moments will come. And they will make it all worth it.
So hang in there, Mom. Be brave. Worry a little less.
Because life is about to get so much better.