I haven’t talked much about it, because I’ve been terrified that things will fall through, but… We seem to be on track for a (local) move the first week of April. Jeff and I love the new house, the new neighborhood, the new yard, the new school, the new everything and are anxious to get settled. The kids? Not so much.
As part of the bribery tool to help make the transition smoother for the them, we’ve built up the new rooms they’ll be moving into. New wall colors! New blankets! New clocks! New curtains! New, new, new! Exciting, right? I certainly think so.
Now, I thought it went without saying that I, as their mother, would be the one responsible for said rooms. Sure, I’d work with their passions (dinosaurs for the boys and sweet little illustrations for Lily,) but this was my project. I’d get to pick out the bedding and decide on the wall art for them. I’d choose ballet slipper over hot pink for Lily’s walls. I’d decide that timeless Tyrannosaurus Rex was a far better choice than the trendy Transformer quilt. Me, me, me. For them, of course.
My husband, on the other hand, seemed to have some other ideas. He had the nerve to whip out the paint chips last night and steer the kids the direction he envisioned. At IKEA last weekend? He had the gall to encourage a brightly colored quilt for Ben that totally clashed with the well thought out color scheme I had decided on. The nerve!
The decor of my children’s rooms simply is not debatable. It’s fun for me and I’m good at it. That makes it my job. And, the fun filled process helps balance out the fact that I’m the default laundry do-er, lunch maker, puke and poop cleaner-upper and middle of the night go-to parent. That’s only fair, right? Should my husband decide to take any of those off my plate, I’m willing to let him choose the pillow shams.
But I still get veto power.
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{ 80 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh boy. My husband has made one too many decorating decision in our house. Granted, I usually get used to it and like it in the end, but it’s so hard to let go of that power.
Lolli´s last blog ..Easy Kite Making Instructions for Preschool Kids
It’s obvious that you are TOTALLY the giver in this situation. ;P
Loralee´s last blog ..Far Away Face Girl
Um… knowing you, I am amazed that Jeff has the balls to even attempt such a feat.
Having said that, I don’t think I want to meet him. Ever. You two scare me. I guess the name fits. ;-)
D´s last blog ..Well.
Stay strong! I capitulated on our son’s nursery…and now the theme is most appropriately titled “garage sale chic.”
Domesticated Gal´s last blog ..Dear 18yr Old Me – Suck It
Early in our marriage, my husband and I agreed (extenuating circumstances aside) that he would be the Go-To grown-up for all clean-up things Pet. I would be Go-To for all clean-up things Children.
We have since had one cat (who died about five seconds after the agreement) and one dog (who required about three days of house-breaking) and then spent the next seven years being perfectly agreeable — aside from the very occasional mis-digested bone.
And, two children who have spent the last five years (more to come!) with various stages of diapering, vomiting, spitting, and lord knows what else comes down the line.
When they’re out of the house in a mere 13 years or so, I plan to open a small zoo. Just ’cause.
I just snorted Diet Coke all over my computer reading your last line. You go for that zoo– he has it coming!
And, I will say that Jeff does do most things dog related. Hmmmmm… Maybe we should get that puppy after all.
My husband gets the hives when I so much as come near him with a paint sample.
He’s decorating-phobic. Which is totally fine with me. I saw his bachelor pad. (shudder)
Cara´s last blog ..Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned at Boot Camp
I couldn’t agree more! And as the kiddos get older I have gotten a little wiser on how to get around their wanting to make the decision…I make it their birthday presents! So while they are away at school I spend the day doing a room makeover {my way!} and it has worked out perfectly. ;)
Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..And I Probably Should Have Just Shoved Her
Surely you could find documentation of that trade-off somewhere in the Scope of Work document.
oh boy. what has that man been smoking? Tell him to quickly survey co-workers and ask how many of THEM were allowed to get involved in decorating decisions.
Kirsten´s last blog ..Patrons with Beer and Chili
–>Reminds me of the line for My Big Fat Greek Wedding… “the man is the head but the woman is the neck…”
WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday (almost) – Picture Day Practice
My husband “thought” he was designing our nursery. In reality, though, the color palette was mine, the mural on the wall was my idea, the accessories were purchased by me…I just let him think it was all his idea, and, of course, let him do the grunt work.
Put the smack down on that man if he gets too uppity!
amber´s last blog ..A Moment of Fun.
He’s lost his mind. I ALWAYS pick the colors. David has no vision.
And I don’t mean like eyesight. He can see. He just has no imagination.
Jennifer´s last blog ..Talking with Baby Girl
You are braver than me. When we lived in Thailand I got some things framed (elephant painting, funky alphabet fabric print) and those pieces of “art” adorn the beige walls of my twins’ room. They’ve done Van Gogh paintings in Kindergarten and I plan to get those framed too. That’s the theme of their room(s) until they’re out of the house.
Regarding your previous commenter, Cindy, I definitely have a zoo…albeit of stuffed animals. Why do two kids need twenty-five each? That’s my decorating nightmare.
Happy decorating. And remember those vows you took? I think the synonym promises is more apt because it’s the root of compromises …which is what decorating (and marriage) is all about.
Ironic Mom´s last blog ..Kindergarten, Planets, and Fist Fights
Aahhhh my hubby did the same thing with our boys new room last year. Talk about really ticking you off huh?? I feel you pain! I had my dad build them mini loft beds and I had their whole room pictured in my head. Well the bed got delivered and set up and my hubby went out while I was at work and bought EVERYTHING. When I got home it was already out of the packages and put on and in thier room. I was pissed. So you had better keep a close eye on him girlfriend!!!!
Hey, stop by and enter my giveaway, get something for yourself and your new kitchen!
Nicole´s last blog ..Giveaway for Wordful Wednesday!
Congrats (quietly, not out loud jinxy) on the move. :)
I am always in charge of the rooms…and I am DYING to redo both of my boys’ rooms – for them of course….but really, totally for me. I want to do a comic book / superhero room and I really want to do a space room. Both kids are ambivalent. Should I do it anyway?? :)
pgoodness´s last blog ..Batter UP!
my 8yo son’s newest idea for his room is flowers. “cuz they mean spring, mom”.
I don’t dare tell my husband.
jen´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- cousins
A superhero theme would be SO MUCH fun. Do it!!!
I will give you “lunch-maker, puke and poop cleaner-upper and middle of the night go-to parent,” but you do not get laundry-doer. You should know better!
When this kind of stuff happens in our house I come up with all kinds of assurances that my plan will save us money in the long-term. This is hardly ever the case, of course, because if the decorating were left up to my kids and husband everyone would be in sleeping bags in the living room…and the bedrooms would become skating rinks.
Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole´s last blog ..Growing pains
Good luck with that one! I’m so glad that my sportsman has no opinion on any decorating that goes on in our house. or there might be an all out war!
I thought for sure you were going to tell us the KIDS thought they should get to choose the decor. My DH has craptastic taste, but still wants a say. When he was a bachelor he dragged driftwood up from the beach, nailed it to the wall and hung his scuba suits on his bedroom wall. He thought it looked good! Needless to say, I always win the decorating battles when I bring up that lovely vision.
Have fun. Shove Jeff out of the way on this one!
Kim´s last blog ..I Have Design ADD…
After living here over a year, my husband finally decided that he doesn’t really give a rat’s ass what color the walls are, so I can paint them as I choose. Taking a break from primer right now, in fact.
I’m the do-er of all in this house too. I’ll be damned if he gets to utter a WORD about what shade of blue I paint the dining room.
I dare him. ;)
jen´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- cousins
I will let you pick the wall color of my dining room if you really want? Eric is currently putting his wonderful carpentry skills to work installing crown molding. I still have a few days to debate and stress over choosing a color.
My hubby would never interfere with picking wall colors or any decor. He just knows to stay away.
I do sometimes ask for his opinion. But, like you, I have final veto power. I gave him 3 veto’s to use, and sadly they are all gone, so he really has no hope left. Come to think of it, I did veto all of his veto’s, so he never really had a chance.
Allison´s last blog ..Flax Seed Bread, Whole Wheat and Wheat Germ Bread
The husband is not the issue in this household. What sucks is when the kids have an opinion…and it totally differs from mine.
Lanita Moss´s last blog ..To Cover Or Not To Cover…That Is The Question
mom absolutely gets veto. but i have to tell you to enjoy it now because when they get older it won’t matter what color their comforter is or that it coordinates with the rug. Every. Single. Bit. will be covered with nasty things – food, dirty clothes, etc. Enjoy it now, my friend.
Signed – woman with attitude… and teens.
Lori´s last blog ..A Little Lori Bashing
I think Chris gave up a long time ago. What exactly did he expect when he married a decorator’s daughter??
Really I see nothing wrong with wanting some semblance of order in the decorating process and when a man gets involved in that process it all goes to hell in the proverbial handbasket. What was he thinking?! Have fun with the decorating….the kids will love it in the end. As long as you do it.
I am with you- decorating is my territory!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Fleeting Moments
Yeah. Mine tries to pull that crap all the time. Um, NO. Just, NO.
JenniferG´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Cut Me A Break Demi Moore!
We needed to redo my son’s room not too long ago, and I let him make every decision (assuming it fit within my budget). He was 7 at the time, and I figured it’s his room, it’s his choice. But I was dreading it because I like things to look nice, you know. I kind of love decorating, so the idea of a garish room in my house made me cringe. But it was more important to me to give him ownership and freedom of expression. In the end, he did a really great job! He asked for my opinion on nearly everything, but he didn’t always take my advice. Still, the room looks great. I was beyond pleasantly surprised.
Decorating with my boy friend, on the other hand, is proving to be WAAAAAAAAAY more difficult.
moving and decorating new rooms all at once AND the hubby clean up? fuck, you are daring. i still have the shudders from the move.
dawn´s last blog ..levain bakery cc cookie
Every time my husband complains about our house being too small, I remind him that HE picked it and that I wanted that OTHER one. Shuts him up every time.
I’ve only ever decorated one room, and that was my bedroom in my old house (with my ex-husband) when I was 8 months pregnant. I chose the colouring, but asked him to paint as my back was being a pain. He fell asleep instead and I did it all myself! lol
I was going to decorate the new house I’m in now, but it’s all been done already, although I’m thinking the yellow in the living room will have to go soon… it leaves an icky colour cast all over my kids if I take photos of them inside, and that will just not do!!
Marylin´s last blog ..Bloody Government Benefits…
Veto power for sure!
Jen´s last blog ..Connections
You should go with clutter-chic. It works so well for my kids’ rooms…
Nan´s last blog ..You Can’t Take It With You?
Since you will be cleaning pee and puke off said shams, bedspreads, and rugs (and probably in the middle of the night), you absolutely have veto power. Unless he wants to swap duties, of course …
Stacia´s last blog ..Odd Mother Out
Pfft. You’re mommy. You have veto power over -everything-. Don’t let him forget that. ;)
Oh, I’m so jealous! We’ve looked for years for a house that we liked better than this one. So far we’ve found 3 but each time it took my husband several days to decide to put in an offer and EACH time the owners had accepted a bid within the previous 24 hours. Although I suppose it was a blessing in disguise as it would also have meant a bigger mortgage payment – which was fine at the time, but from the perspective of being unemployed, we would have gone through our safety net that much faster.
He always seems to want a say on decorating things that I don’t think he’ll care about. However, he doesn’t want to do the work of picking things so I show him what I want him to see and he feels like he’s the one with veto power. As the SAHM you are the homemaker so, yes, you get ultimate control over that.
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..I was blind-sided
Funny. My kids object to everything I want to do in their rooms. I’ve given up! If I want to decorate a kids room, I’m going to need to birth another child.
-FringeGirl
the domestic fringe´s last blog ..Call me Velma
Decorating decisions are never up for debate in our house. That’s why I do all the redecorating when the hubs is out of the house. Really, it’s better for us all that way.
erica´s last blog ..Don’t forget: Your baby’s birthday!
We’ve been working on Caden’s room all week. I made my husband take off work to do it. OMG the fights. I have this vision in my head. He questions every decision that I’ve already made, and purchased. Husband will not get his way. Ohh but just wait, his room is FABULOUS!!! All with my design!
Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Run Julie Run
Hold onto that veto power! It’s critical in any decorating stage with children and husband involved!
Jane´s last blog ..Yes, The Winner For Best Director Has A Vajayjay. Can We Please Move On?
So funny we did the ballet pink I made the choice – NOT HOT PINK. And Miles – well – he wants Dinos or Trucks and I will make the call in the next 2 weeks depending on which come in better colors. Kids rooms are so OUR territory – oops and theirs – but not hubbies. Unless your hubby is David Bromstad…or some other designer.
Yay for the new house!
Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..Bebe au Lait {Review & Giveaway}
If I let my son decorate his room, it would have been Pixar Cars all over and he’d hate it in two years when he’s into something else! He did get to pick the paint color though– green!
My hubby is an architect so luckily I’m blessed with someone with good taste. Although I did win the battle for the shade of green for the kid’s room.
Melissa (adventuroo)´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: The ubiquitous “showing off my kids” pictures
Lol !! I love it ! You’ve totally given me a line for the next time my husband tries to take over something that I want to do around here. I’ll remind him that I’m the laundry do-er, middle of the night parent, etc….. and ask if he’d like to take over any of those things.. Good stuff !
Erin´s last blog ..My toddler is now a pre-schooler…when did that happen ?
Yep… agree… they just have to be told, that’s all.
I most likely should not be commenting right now, as we are redoing MY kitchen. Why my husband believes he has any input power for MY kitchen is beyond me. When he decides to spend a good part of his life there (in MY kitchen) then he can decide single or double bowl sink, or counter-top material etc.
I am just saying that if someone should find him one morning, sleeping UNDER his pillow, I had nothing to do with it.
First, in the defense of Transformers.. they’ve been cool since the 80′s so at the very least, there is a chance that they’ll have enough staying power to keep you from redecorating in a few months.
Now if you can just squeeze your husband out…
Jennifer June´s last blog ..Give it to me baby
have you checked out
http://www.serenaandlily.com/
crazy expensive, but so wonderful for inspiration – and it has lily’s name in it! (can you tell i am in the midst of my own tiny-tot bedroom re-vamp? how did you ever convince lily to give her crib over to ben?)
A wife’s veto power is one of the most important things you get when you exchange rings and sign the marriage license. This is where I am thankful for my mother -in-law, because she trained her sons that the wife makes all decisions unless she decides to give decision making power over for certain instances. Veto away Momma, veto away!
Catherine @ Evolving Mommy´s last blog ..Spicy Peanut Butter Chicken
HA! We are going through this now! Decorating the baby’s room….. I’m the one that decides colors, wall decor and everything in between. My husband decide he was going to put his 2 cents in……. except he couldn’t come up with anything concerning wall decor! My response, “Babe, I’ve got this! I know what I want and already met with the person who’s doing the paintings.”
Men….. want to help when we don’t want them to but sure as hell don’t want to when WE WANT them to!! :)
“Cookie”´s last blog ..What’s a boy to do on a beautiful day?
We are in the EXACT same position. We are signing April 1st, and it is a local move as well. Luckily, my kids are 2 and 3. My husband has been having more opinions as of late.
I say, put him in charge of something else, and he will forget about the rooms. Chances are, he is just as excited about the new house as you are…and is just trying to think of ways he can contribute.
Now, there is the hard part. If you are like me, (and you sound like it), it is hard to even find one job to give him complete control over. Good luck!
How dare he?! Because of all the STUFF that you do from day to day, it’s YOUR job to decide on the decor of the kids rooms, totally! Let us know how all this plays out. Sounds like a good drama/comedy.
Me, me, me. For them. Oh that’s funny! I do know how you feel but I go through that when it comes to cooking & entertaining. It’s all about what IIIII want to cook but for those around me. So I really do know what that meant.
Good luck!!! And so sorry I missed you last weekend.
Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Veggie for Your Thoughts?
My husband tried to make big decisions about our wedding. I was in the “don’t make him mad” phase of the new relationship (we are well past that now) so I found a way to make him back away on what he thought was his own choosing. I started bringing him all the choices and decisions that had to be made. Over loading him and at totally inconvenient times. He quickly realized he was in over his head and turned everything back over to me. Unless you already have the paint on the wall there is always a way out. Paint colors get discontinued all the time!
Sorry Jeff, but I am with your wife on this one. STAY out of it……..go find a new TV to shop for and the perfect place on the wall to put it. That will keep you busy.
Jodi´s last blog ..Princess & Knight 3rd Birthday Party!
Oh no!!! Husband gets no vote, that is just how life works!
Hey, you’ve got more than one kids room here, so why not compromise and each of you help do one of the kids room.
That way you’ll both feel included.
I mean there are rooms in my home that have mostly my husband’s influence and then other rooms that have mine.
I’m with you- when my husband gives his two cents regarding decorating, I cringe (hopefully just on the inside). I feel bad, but it is my thing,and he really doesn’t care, so why does he offer opinions?! Just another mystery about husbands, I guess. Congrats on the move!
Melissa´s last blog ..Easter Egg Hunts DC Metro
Who will be painting the rooms? That person might end up with the ultimate authority about how the paint color looks… :)
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..What to do if you’re locked in a cage…
I totally agree. Any time I try to involve OTHER PEOPLE in the process, I end up SORRY. I think to myself, “I will let him choose the color he wants, because he is sure to agree with me!” and then I end up ruing. RUING.
Swistle´s last blog ..Avid/Voracious
My husband cannot decorate for his life!… though he too tries… and I always veto.
… but i have to confess… there are many-a -nights he is the middle of the night “go to parent’… does this make me less of a mom ? … lol
Complicated Mama´s last blog ..TMC: Featured, Fun & Fabulous Bloggers
It burns me up everytime the hubs tries to make a decorating decision. YES, it may be OUR house — but unless he starts doing something other than taking out the trash, he gets zero input. ‘Cause seriously, if he had it his way, there’d be a giant fish over the fireplace & a football shrine in the dining room.
Sara — The Football Wife´s last blog ..The FW Explains It All…
Totally with you on this one sista!! I have given my man a little more power since I am working outside the home, but back in the day when I was home it was my rules, my way…. sucka!!
Sadie at heyMamas
Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Steps away
Ooooh…my hubby wouldn’t dare! On the other hand, my 17-year-old would. All the world’s a stage, everyone wants a part…right?
KellieS´s last blog ..Happy Anniversary Women’s Life Link!
Hi there,
Just finding your blog and happy about it! I am always psyched to discover fellow mama bloggers who make it work in an admirable way, bringing in cash money, for their family.
I am just starting to get a little bigger with ad sales/sponsorships and all that and, wow, there is a lot to think about. Thanks for being so open with your practices and knowledge.
Warmly, Nici
Also wanted to mention that I became a fan of your facebook page…you can find me there too. Look forward to reading more from you!
dig this chick´s last blog ..happiness is…
We moved out of state and are renting until our house sells. However, I try the guided approach to room decor, how much depends on the age. With the little guys, I’m going to do their room in the color they had before – a Martha Stewart blue and a dirty color. Then I’m going to make signs that spell their names in Ship Flag Symbols. I’m wanting to use Pottery Barn Red and White valences. However, the teenagers need more input with color choices. However, they do need to be guided and veto power on both sides included. For example, one wants an industrial look with WWII Airforce Artwork (his grandfather was an Ace fighter pilot). I miss the days when I had total control. It takes a lot of unconditional love to share that power. However, it makes for an independence with training wheels kind of event.
Enjoy the power while you have the opportunity!
maryleigh´s last blog ..Divine Re-Design on My Heart
I just discovered your blog. Your writing is brilliant. You managed to infuse a short domestic anecdote with issues like gender politics and parental control, alongside lots of humor and excitement about the future. A rare feat.
I think you hit the nail on the spot. Decorating is a treat well-deserved after all the domestic drudgery. Whoever does most of the domestic work is the one who gets to call the decorating shots, in my book. Or whoever cares the most. Usually it’s the wife, and I know that in my case, I care A LOT. My husband provides valuable input, but no more.
That said…..I think the kids do deserve some control over their rooms. Especially as they grow older. But you seem to realize that already, by expertly channeling their passions into what you want. Hey, isn’t that what motherhood’s all about?
Shira at Double Drudgery´s last blog ..Shabbat Shalom
oh, AMEN, girl. Their only duty/right is to pay for the stuff and oooh and aaah over our impeccable taste ;-)
Elisa´s last blog ..Preparing for summer… though baby, it’s cold outside
I’m surprised he even gave it a thought…decorating usually falls to mom! It did in our house. Make good use of the Veto Power! :)
All kids room planning totally defaults to you, the mother, unless you
A) give over some planning to another party (Let the kids pick a theme, color, etc)
B) Ask for input (as in Should I use Sage green or Celery, dear?)
C) Are unable to do anything (Talk, Move, See, Hear, etc)
My DH has yet to think he had/has any say in how our entire house is decorated. The shed — well that’s man territory so he got to do with it what he wanted. And I’m sure it will look great in ten years when its finally finished.
You will share pictures when they are complete, right?
Kris´s last blog ..It’s an exciting day!
My kids, 7 and 5, chose their colors – so primary red and blue with a green stripe and MAX in giant letters on his wall – and hot pink and purple – Barney dinosaur purple – no lavender for my girl! And this weekend – a trip to pick out accessories. . . kids in tow.
Hubby spilt paint on his first attempt to “help” – he was banned. Kids helped for about half an hour in each room and then I painted in peace. I love a project from start to finish – that rarely happens in my world!!
You go girl! You’ve earned the right to have decorating power and may your journey be a fun one. Hold on to the reins and relinquish power to the hubby only on your terms!
Tina @ Ride On Toys´s last blog ..The Radio Flyer Horse – Hi-Yo Silver, Away!
I could use some lessons on how you got the almighty veto power! My husband has decided he is now going to be in charge of “our” flower beds this year. Enter, the almighty veto power. Loved you post!
Hello All,
I am new to this site and am new to being a mommy- well, actually I am not a mommy yet but I am 5 months pregnant, so I will be very soon! I can totally relate to these decorating issue with hubbies. My hubbie has quesitonable taste but thinks he has wonderful taste and is extremely opionated! We are just now facing this problem because we are moving into a new larger apartment due to our baby’s upcoming arrival and I have been thinking of how to decorate the new place. It’s the first time my husband has heard such definite opinions from me on this subject because when I moved into his batchelor pad condo a couple of years ago, I did not bother to try and redecorate since I knew we would be moving as soon as we had a baby. But now that we are moving to a new place and I really care about the decor, I can see I am in for some trouble with hubbie. He has about a 100 (literally) hideous items he is attched to for sentimental reasons that he refuses to not have in plain site! It’s the first time in the almost 2 years we’ve been married that I strated thinking about the good old days when I was single because at least then I could decorate my apartment as I pleased…. Needless to say, I am desperately in need advise on how to handle this!
Put all of his things in one box and “lose” it during the move. :)
That is not a bad idea! :)
Your husband probably just wants to control the costs of the room, and get it done fast. That is what I see with a lot of husbands. Mine is the same way. Its less about what the husband, you or the kids want, and more about how much money and time it is costing them.