Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
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Ellie Hirsch is creator of The Mommy Master,™ a resource for mothers all over the world. It provides parenting tools to create a flourishing family environment, ranging from parenting tips and tricks, to offering emotional support and reassurance to help build confidence. Learn more at www.mommymasters.com.
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People are capable of saying really stupid things at times. Whether they mean to or not, their words can be hurtful, insulting and quite puzzling. We can all say we have been guilty of letting a comment slip here and there, and then regretting it later, but for some, there is no remorse, no wish of turning back time and often a clear lack of filter. I could write a very long book on the subject of dumb things people say but I am going to focus on pregnancy since I am 39 weeks and ready to pop.
When someone is pregnant, the topic of how you look and how you feel is an obvious and easy choice for conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I love answering questions and sharing my pregnancy with those that ask about it, but it never fails to amaze me the funny, odd, rude and just plain stupid things that have been said to me. With each pregnancy, (this is my third), the comments just get better and better. So here are my top 10 favorites:
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1) Comment: Are you having a girl?
My response: No
Comment: Are you having a boy then?
My response: Well if I’m not having a girl, then chances are it’s a boy.
What I was thinking: No…I am actually having a dog. Really?
2) Comment: Do you know what you are having?
My response: Yes, we are having a boy.
Comment: Another boy….oh…I’m sorry to hear that. You must have wanted that girl.
My response: We’re not. We are extremely excited and happy to add a third boy to our crew. As long as it’s healthy, we really don’t care what we are having.
What I was thinking: I’m sorry you’re an idiot…(and then a smile).
3) Comment: Wow…you look different to me today…like you have dropped quite a bit. Now you look really pregnant and ready to go. Wow. I bet you can’t wait to get this baby out. But… you still look good though.
My response: Well…I am 2 weeks away so I am probably looking like a pregnant woman who is about to give birth should look. I am feeling pretty good actually so not in any rush…I need these few weeks to get ready.
What I was thinking: What do you expect me to look like? I am out and about, living my life when I could be bitching and complaining in bed. I actually thought I looked pretty good, considering, but clearly my mirror lied to me this morning…thanks for the play by play though.
4) Comment: You are HUGE!!! Holy Cow!
My response: Uh…yes, my stomach is very big but I feel great. Just for future reference, you never tell a pregnant woman she is huge, (along with a slight chuckle).
What I was thinking: Jerk!
5) Comment: I didn’t see your face come through the door, only your body…thought you were a short fat woman. (Yes, someone actually said this to me)
My response: SILENCE along with a very dirty look.
What I was thinking: What the hell is wrong with you?
6) Comment: I wish you nothing but the best with your delivery…especially considering so many things can go wrong. (Said by a Nurse Practitioner at an appointment, none the less).
My response: Thank you and I’m sure my surgery will go great.
What I was thinking: Did you really just say that out loud? Shame on you!
7) Comment: You are nuts to have a third…I cannot imagine. In fact, I’m a bit scared for you.
My response: I’m sure it will be crazy at first but once I get into a rhythm, it will be my everyday life and I can’t wait!
What I was thinking: I am scared for you and you only have one!
8) Comment: You must be having a girl because from the back you have gotten quite wide in the past few weeks.
My response: No words, only tears!
What I was thinking: Why? Why? Why? You mean and heartless person!
9) Comment: I bet you are having another boy. It makes sense because I can’t see you with a girl anyway. You’re a better “boy” mom.
My response: Thanks… I think. I hope it’s a boy then…otherwise I’m in trouble, right?”
What I was thinking: Did I just get insulted? I think I did…not really sure.
10) Comment: How are you feeling? You definitely look tired today…especially around your eyes.
My response: You guessed it. I am tired…to be expected being that I am pregnant chasing 2 kiddies around and adding in the fact that my husband has been gone all week travelling.
What I was thinking: Clearly if my face is telling you how I am feeling, is there really a need to ask? I feel crappy enough as it is, am feeling fat, bloated and exhausted…no need for you to bring it to my attention and make me feel worse. Thanks though! By far, one of the most irritating comments, pregnant or not. Now who else is going to get my wrath today?
{ 134 comments… read them below or add one }
People are stupid, plain and simple. I think pregnant women are incredibly beautiful. I always felt the prettiest when I was pregnant.
I have to give you credit because all of your “thoughts” are what I would have, and actually have, said in reply to those questions. By the time my third pregnancy came along those who knew me didn’t even bother to ask anything. Only the unaware and stupid ones dared open their mouths.
Congrats on the baby btw. Don’t worry, the routine for the third baby falls into place faster than the rest did. Well for me it did.
Best wishes for you and your family
Be well, & be blessed
CoreyJo
CoreyJo recently posted..Haiku Senso…
Thanks so much Corey-Jo! Just hearing positive things about #3 helps! I am now 4 weeks in and every day, it gets easier!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I’m 36 weeks along now and I’ve heard quite a few stupid comments too! I wish people would think before they speak.
Congratulations on #3 and have a safe delivery, Ellie!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Letter to My Son: Part Deux
Thanks so much Alison! Wishing you a great delivery and congratulations as well!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
One of my favorites: You carry your weight really well.
What the hell does this even mean? And what was I supposed to say- thank you??
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..The Day My Water Broke
That is awful! Who would say such a thing!
Kristin recently posted..Cream Egg Brownies
LOL. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
What is this pregnancy excuse from the usual rules of decorum? If you shouldn’t say it when I’m not pregnant, don’t say it when I am. Ditto for unsolicited parenting/life advice. I still prefer the comments over the groping though. I never knew if slapping an old man’s hand while he reached for my pregnant belly in line at the grocery store was acceptable. Kudos for your amazing reatraint while filled with hormones, and good luck with the next few weeks of changes coming your way.
Totally agree on the belly touching. It was my biggest pet peeve.
Why a total stranger thinks they can just grab you is beyond me…
Kristin recently posted..Cream Egg Brownies
Right there with you. Why do strangers suddenly think touching my stomach is ok? I don’t know your name, I have no idea who you are. Keep your hands to your self! I literally barked at an old couple once because I bumped into them 3 seperate times in a 15 minute period and each time they asked to touch my stomach and I told them no. At least I did the first two times. The third I barked like I had lost my mind and they shuffled away in terror. Crazy people.
I literally just lol’ed, Am about to hit 17 weeks and this is one of my biggest fears when it comes to being around other people. Two weeks ago I was at a bar and this chick asked why I wasn’t drinking. After I told her that I am prego, she started rubbing my belly and announcing to the whole bar “This girl is pregnant, she is REALLY pregnant.” Even with me explaining that I wasn’t far enough along for her to feel anything, it took me a couple minutes to get her to stop. And yes, I had just met her that night. I wanted to scream.
Thanks for your comments! Why is it always the old men who touch the belly? People, get a clue! :)
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Insane! People actually say such things??? How offensive can you get!
Congrats on number 3. If it is any comfort, the third time around is much easier with all the baby stuff, at least it was for me. You know what to do and what to expect and you don’t freak out over unimportant things like you did with your first. The only tough part for me was my older two were 3 and 19 months when the last one was born. I think I was tired for a whole year. But now that the baby is 17 months I find it much easier.
Mercy recently posted..Summer Fun – Parks
Thanks Mercy. Your words of encouragement are wonderful to hear! Yes, I am so tired but every day it gets easier and I get into a routine. I find from 5-7 is the hardest with dinner, baths, bedtime, books, feedings, etc., especially when hubby is traveling. Thanks for your comments!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
One of the worst comments I got was when I was pregnant with the second: a woman finding out I was expecting again while the eldest was only 8 months old told me that I was behaving very unresponsible towards my child, my career and myself and asked my if I didn’t I know I had “options”. I never came closer to committing manslaughter.
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Yes mom you are right… (stop smirking!)
Wow. Just…wow.
Arnebya recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: Good Endings to Pretty Ungood Beginnings
WOW-that is CRAZY! I don’t even know what I would say. People are nuts! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I have twin boys and when I told co-workers that I was pregnant with my 3rd, each and every one of them acted shocked and appalled. One went so far as to say that friends of hers think anything more than 2 kids constitutes a litter and you’re no better than a dog. Whoa. I just walked away from that one (but remember it clear as day 5 years later).
What gives people the right to say these things to people, seriously!
There are things to be avoided, especially if you have had kids. You know the drill, dont be an ass.
Regina recently posted..Make a Coupon Binder
Agreed! Thanks for your comments!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
When I was pregnant, I was enormous. I had my own orbit, I was so big. And I was only having one. More than one person said to me “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there because you are HUGE!”
While I smiled politely and said “Yes, I’m sure it’s only one” what I wanted to say was “Shut the f*ck up, please. I know I’m huge and that comment? Didn’t help!”
Jana @ The Jealousy Files recently posted..People who actually do their to-do list
I got the same thing with my 1st. People in the mall would walk by and say, “Damn girl, you are HUGE…I hope there are twins in there”. I swear. After a while, I gave a look that could kill! Thanks for your comments!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
When I was pregnant with my third girl, my neighbor actually said that it was ” a shame” that I wasn’t having a boy and that I must be so disappointed. Ugh! People say stupid things but don’t let it get you down. Being a mother of three I can tell you that I never felt better leaving the hospital and never felt more confident once home with the new baby.
What is it with people thinking because you have a child of one gender you must want the next one to the be the other gender. I have a son and am currently pregnant with #2, we didn’t find out the sex (maybe we should have to shut everyone up) people keep saying “I’ll pray for a girl for you”. Actually (I’d be happy with either, blah blah blah) but I am leaning towards wanting another boy more, pray for that.
I don’t know what the deal is with gender. As long as it’s healthy, who cares. I now have people asking when I am having my 4th and if I hope it’s a girl. I was like, can my C-Section wound heal first before you even go there? Thanks for your comments!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I haven’t announced my third pregnancy yet and I’m not looking forward to the comments. When I told one person I was pregnant with my second she said, “What are you trying to do, start your own football team??” Oh my.
I have heard the football comment a million times. Enjoy your secret for a while and if anyone makes a comment, just laugh. Congratulations and wishing you a wonderful pregnancy!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
My all-time favorite is the classic, “You know how these things happen, right?” Said to me while pregnant with my 3rd. Because 3 kids is just SO DUGGAR, right?
Jadzia@Toddlerisms recently posted..In Which Secondo Channels Judge Judy: A Scene From the Dinner Table
Exactly! No one can possibly spend enough time/raise three (count ‘em, three!) kids properly.
While pregnant with my third, a family member said, “regardless of the sex, you’re going to stop now, right?” She is going to call CPS when we go for four, I guess.
Congrats, Ellie; having three is GREAT!
Arnebya recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: Good Endings to Pretty Ungood Beginnings
Thanks for the well wishes!!!! Loving every minute of 3…okay there are some minutes that aren’t so great but smiling anyway. LOL.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I know…3 is nothing compared to that baby machine. She is smart though actually-she figured out a way to have babies and then get siblings to help out and raise them. She’s no dummie!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
My favorite was when a sales clerk asked me if I was having twins. It was my first pregnancy. ! asked her if she wanted me to buy anything in her store?
Seriously Sassy Mama recently posted..Just A Little Something You Can Hang On Your Door
I had the EXACT same experience… at Babies R Us. Really? They don’t train you about what you NEVER say to pregnant women?
Victoria KP recently posted..100 Word Song: Run Away
Lol. I got the twins question with my first all the time. My worst was when I was 3 weeks post partem and a lady in a store asked when I was due. I walked out of her store! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Yes, it’s true that people can be insensitive. Having had 2 kids, I’ve been on the receiving end of some seriously stupid comments. One woman actually told me that my sudden acne meant I was having a girl. She was wrong, I had a second boy. I felt self-conscious about my skin for months after that comment.
People are such idiots sometimes. They don’t realize their comments can hurt. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
oops, I forgot to include my URL.
Suzie recently posted..Occasional Abandonment
People amaze me … SMH
Kerry :) recently posted..… You do the math
Yes. Unfortunately, it’s not the good amazing! LOL. Thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I remember these well and some were worse since I was having twins. I was often asked “just how many do you have in there?” and four days after delivering someone asked if the doctor forgot to take the third out because that’s the only explanation for why I was still big. I almost jumped the counter after that woman and it would have been worth all of the pain of every popped staple.
Amanda recently posted..We Bought A Zoo
ohh my god thats an awful thing to say, I would have flipped
I was mid-charge at the desk when my husband held me back. There are just some things you don’t say to a hormonal woman, suggesting she still has a child in her is one of them.
Amanda recently posted..We Bought A Zoo
WOW-I cannot believe someone said that to you. Speechless! thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
It will never cease to amaze me what people will say to you when you’re pregnant. Awesome list! Congratulations too.
Amy of “famed” pregnantchicken.com recently posted..Visitors After the Baby – 10 Tips
Thanks Amy!!!! Getting used to being a mom of 3 and loving every minute of it….although there are a few seconds I’d like to lock myself in a sound proof room. LOL. Thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I once had someone at a baby expo ask if I was shopping for a grandchild…great way to sell a pregnant woman something. In all fairness, I WAS old for having one (46), but can I help it if that was God’s plan?
And I agree, what is it about a pregnant woman’s belly that makes it public property? I was next door at my bachelor neighbor’s one day and his best friend informed me that WE weren’t good enough friends to help me clean out my garage. When he reached for my belly, I told HIM “if we were good enough friends to help me clean out the garage, we SURE AS HELL weren’t good enough friends to touch my belly!”
congrats on #3, wish I were having another (yeah, I know, I’m NUTS!)
Good for you telling this guy your opinion! I cannot believe someone asked if you were the Grandmother…the nerve. Kudos for you…it’s not about age-it’s about the love and care you can give the child! Thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
The worst comment I got was after I had my second baby and had returned to work. A co-worker told me he was surprised I lost all the baby weight after the second? Seriously? I just smiled and said I was lucky, I guess.
I think people don’t know what to say so they say anything and then think about it later. Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
On the phone with my Mother-in-Law, when husband and I were driving home from an OB appointment:
Me: “It’s a girl!”
MIL: “I KNEW IT! Your face has been SO DISTORTED since you got pregnant this time.”
(SIL in the background” “MA! You can’t say that!”)
Me: *silence*
MIL: “What I mean is…um…not DISTORTED…just different. Your nose looks bigger…”
(SIL: “MA! STOP TALKING!”)
Me: “gee, thanks.”
(Husband, next to me, driving, whispers: “What’s going on?”)
Me: *shakes head at husband in a you-don’t-wanna-know way*
MIL: “…but still beautiful. Congratulations! I…uh…gotta go.”
Then she sent me approximately 4,000 things for my baby shower out of guilt for telling me I had a distorted face and big nose.
Sigh. She’s lucky I adore her, and she normally doesn’t say stuff like this.
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..Fifty Shades of Grey: Fifty Years Later
I am laughing reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Ugh – people are just dumb sometimes. When I was pregnant, a woman at work said to me, “you must be having a girl, when you’re having a girl, you lose your looks.” Uh, WHAT?
And the belly-touchers – Just stop! People I barely knew thought it was just fine to come up and touch me.
Congratulations and best wishes!
First time Grandma to be here, I haven’t even attempted to touch my darling daughter’s amazing belly. Where are my gold stars?!
That is a terrible comment. What the heck is wrong with certain people? I say call people out on their comments and politeness should go out the door!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I was lucky with my 2 pregnancies. I didn’t get any hateful comments. People did say, “OMG you’re huge!” but I was & was darn proud of it. I was growing a human being & my body beefed up for the job. Those comments didn’t bother me in the least. However, knowing that most women are sensitive about their pregnant bodies, I usually tell expectant mothers that they are doing a great job, it’s tough work & I feel for them!
Yes, pregnancy is a beautiful thing, even though there are plenty of non beatiful things going on with our bodies at the time. It’s a time to celebrate and be positive instead of make people feel bad about themselves. I think 99% of the time, people don’t have bad intentions…it just comes out and they don’t know what else to say. Thanks for reading!!!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
But the ones that PISSED ME OFF THE MOST, came from my MOTHER…she was constantly calling HER unborn grandchild a “pig in a poke” because I had to use donor eggs and we wouldn’t have any idea what dd would look like; and because I had to do IVF, I needed to be careful I didn’t have a “litter.” I wanted to punch her in the nose! This is a woman with a Master’s Degree, not a backwoods hick!
WOW-that is bad. I’m sure her reactions and her comments hurt you when you were at a time trying to be positive and have good thoughts. When family makes comments, it’s worse than strangers! Thanks for commenting! Hope all your baby dreams came true! You sound like a dedicated parent to be to me!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
i meant to write all the funny ones down when i was pregnant but i like when people warned me not to literally pop. i worry about people sometimes.
then a guy on the subway was asking about the baby daddy because they never stay even if you have a kid. just can’t rely on these men anymore.
Emma recently posted..h is for horrible
I couldn’t help but write them down…it happened on a daily basis…after a while, I either laughed at people, spoke up for myself or just smiled and thought, “you’re an idiot”. Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
People never cease to amaze me with their insensitivity. I have a total of 5 kiddos. My 3 oldest are boys, & even though they’re my step sons, I still consider them to be my kiddos. My husband & I have 2 together, both girls. Our kids range in age from 8 yrs old to 10 months.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I got a lecture from my friend’s mother. It was something along the lines of, “Don’t you think having 5 kids by the age of 27 is enough??” I was very polite, but I was sure not happy nor amused. In my opinion, it’s not anyone else’s business how many kids my husband & I decide we have. Granted we are done at 5 kids, but still.
Now if folks would stop asking me if I have another on the way, that would be fantastic!!!! (My remnant baby belly has been really hard for me to lose this time around.)
What is it with people not minding their own business. When I told people I was pregnant with the 3rd, I got, “AGAIN”. Wow…oh Ellie…you poor thing. I was like, WHAT??? how about congratulations! I think people put their own insecurities onto others, like what the person really meant was that she could never do what you do and be as good of a mom!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I have 5 kids. You can just imagine the stupid that I’ve heard. Four of them are boys. Yeah. Makes the stupid even worse.
Congrats on your third! You’ll be fine :)
Thanks Denise! Getting easier every day!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I have three boys, and I used to get the “Awww–I bet you wanted a girl!” comments all the freaking time. Um no, I don’t. Everyone I know who has girls says the same thing about them–attitudes, whiney, clingy, etc., so I’m quite happy that we’re having another boy, thanks. Of course I would have loved to have a daughter (and loved her just as much as my boys) but no, I wasn’t crushed that we didn’t have one. I don’t know why so many people automatically assume that people will be heartbroken if they don’t have one of each. I just wanted healthy kids, lol
I couldn’t agree with you more. I have no cravings for a girl. Would it have been cool and different? Of course but I love my boys and it’s all I know. Yes, my friends with girls tell me about all the drama. No thanks! As long as it’s healthy, who cares anyway! Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Some people are just plain stupid. I also got the first a lot – and always wanted to respond that I was having the first-ever documented alien baby. Just because. (Maybe I will with the next one, as it seems the stupid comments keep on coming…)
Yep…you hit the nail on the head. Just plain stupid! Thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I had a manager at my work watch me walk up the isle of the store and say “Awww… you’re already waddling!” My response wasn’t as nice as yours, what I was thinking came right out. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT??!! I’m 7 months pregnant, I work as a nanny chasing around 3 kids and getting them everywhere they need to be all day and I come work for 5 hours in this hell hole almost every night and put up with your shit! My feet hurt and I’m tired, I’m allowed to waddle! At least I have a good excuse for it, unlike you!” (He was a short, very “tubby” man who definitely waddled as well.) I only sort of felt bad, but at least he left me alone for a few days after that. I had a short fuse for idiots during my first pregnancy, it was unplanned and emotions and stress ran high. :)
With both my pregnancies I got the “are you sure there is only one in there?” comment on a regular basis. Yes, jerkface, there is only one, I’m just huge, thank you so much for pointing that out…..
I love your attitude!!! You tell ‘em. Sometimes, people need to be called out on their dumb comments!! I wish you were by my side when people made these comments! LOL.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
It doesn’t end with pregnancy either. I have two boys, one looks exactly like me, dark hair and eyes, small build. The youngest looks just like my husband, blonde, green eyes, stockier build. I have had people assume I was my younger son’s nanny, ask me if they both have the same father, and one woman at the park was getting up to intervene when she saw me pick up my younger son, thinking I was kidnapping him. Sigh- you can’t fix stupid.
You are so right! I get comments like that all the time. Does your husband realize the milk man is the father? After a while I say, “haven’t heard that one before”. lol
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I actually had a woman with an alternative lifestyle tell me that a pregnant woman is every lesbian’s fantasy. I’m really not sure how I felt about that, and its been over 3 1/2 years.
Really? Interesting. Hadn’t heard that one before.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I always thought it was odd how many people would just feel entitled to come up an touch my wife’s tummy without asking. But people do say some stupid stuff…
Glad to hear a guy’s perspective! It’s always men who touched my stomach. ONe time I was having a bad day and called him out and said, “What do you think you are doing?”. I hope you will visit Mommy Masters as I have a new initiative going on called “A Dad’s Perspective” where Dad’s guest blog for me. Thanks!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I hated it when complete strangers would come up and touch my belly. It absolutely made my skin crawl! It was bad enough when people I knew touched my belly.
I hear yah. I had a drunk lady rub my belly once and make comments about my belly button. I was like, get the HELL off me. I had a lot of kids ask questions and touch my belly button, which was alien like. It was pretty funny. Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
People can be so rude. When I was pregnant and people asked us “so, what are you having?” my husband told them we were having a dog. I mean, c’mon, really??? It’s a BABY. DH thought it was hilarious to tell ppl we were having a dog. As for the people who come up and touch you, they should be arrested for assault. I don’t know you, don’t friggin’ touch me!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
I like that response! Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
The checker at Lowe’s made my cry when I was pregnant b/c she would NOT shut up about how big I was!!! People are so rude.
Jennifer recently posted..Separation Anxiety Attack
Idiot…is all I have to say. LOL.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
A friend of mine who I had just met at the time told me when I was due and how big I was getting. I wasn’t pregnant. I do blame the coat I was wearing..but still. And I had lost weight by then and I wasn’t even that big. lol urgh.
Dawn B recently posted..Vegetarian.
People need to think before speaking!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I’ve only had one child, but by FAR the worst comment had nothing to do with my physical appearance, but instead came in the form of a mini lecture from my MIL telling me how I had to “take care of my husband” because, “men have needs.” She continued for an uncomfortable 10 minutes or so, telling me how soon after birth sex was needed by her husband, and how often they had, and still have, sex. “You know those Johnson men…” Ugh. Still gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
EW! That is so creepy. I am 4 weeks out of surgery, still bleeding and still in pain…I have a sign around my neck that says “STAY AWAY”! My poor husband! LOL I cannot believe Tori Spelling is prego again…her man is one lucky guy I guess!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
My awesome (I hope you can see the sarcasm oozing off the word awesome) brother in law told me during my first pregnancy, “I’m really proud of you. You don’t look like you’ve gained much weight.”
I wanted to kick him in the nuts. 1. My weight, pregnant or otherwise, is none of your business; 2. Ummm I thought discussing a woman’s weight was still something polite society didn’t discuss unless she brought it up herself, or you’re exclaiming, “Callie you look fantabulous! You look like you’ve lost 20lbs!” LOL
Seriously, people really need to remember their filters before they speak, especially to pregnant ladies. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have no problem playing the crazy pregnant hormones card when I stomp some idiot’s foot for being rude.
Yes, hormones are the best excuse! I recently had someone tell me I looked tired after asking me how being a mom of 3 was. I told her my baby nurse was still here and that actually I wasn’t tired and thought I looked pretty good but thanks for her comments. I think she was MORTIFIED and felt bad. Biggest pet peeve…”you look tired”.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
The world is full of morons, and they all love to talk to pregnant women. *head desk*
CC Jen recently posted..Info Meeting
YEs it is!!!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
What a bunch of a-holes. My favorite was always(after finding I was carrying twins) “Omg! Did you have fertility treatments?”. Nothing wrong w/fertility treatments,just can’t believe people actually ask this crap!
People are nosy! Thanks for your comments!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I’m a short, fairly thin woman. When I was about 30 weeks pregnant with my twins a woman in a store said, “Wow, you really need to lose some weight.” Clearly she thought she was making a joke. I didn’t think it was so funny. I just stared back at her and said nothing to the point of it being awkward. It was exactly what I wanted – I wanted her to feel uncomfortable for making that comment. She then gave a small smile and said, “When are you due?” I quickly told her the date and walked away.
People should definitelty feel akward since they make the pregnant people feel akward! Thanks for reading!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I was 38 weeks pregnant shopping in a crowded Toys R Us during Christmas time when a man started to chuckle, elbow his wife and do the head nod, like “look at her, can you believe that”! I was feeling unusually fiesty and turned around sharply, told him he didn’t have to be so rude and then continued to call him a “F@#$ing ignorant bastard”. I guess I had reached my ‘no more stupid comment’ limit, lol!
Really? What was he referring to? You tell him!!!!!!!!!!! Good for yoU!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I am the mother of two boys, and the comments I got about the lack of a girl are really shocking. I am still getting them. I am also the youngest of four girls and still (at 41) often hear about how my dad must have been disappointed that I was not a boy. They would say this to my face. For the record, my father never once told me he was sad about me not being a boy, and I am not one bit sad that I do not have a girl. And no, I will not be trying again. As I mentioned, I am 41, and my kids are 6 and 12. It is time to let me parent in peace!
Kate in Ohio recently posted..Not the Easter Miracle We Hoped For
Don’t know why people are so obsessed about the sex of other’s babies?? I get that all the time. Who cares…get a life people!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I’ll be praying for you momma! You just brought memories back to my mind of when I was very preggers with my twins. I had a csection at 39 weeks, both girls were over 6 pounds…I got big and I had people saying the dumbest things to me. I am sending you a hug.
Thanks Rigel!!!! Surgery went great! Spencer is now 4 1/2 weeks old and an absolutel joy!!! So proud to be the mom of 3 little men! Thanks for commenting!!!!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Seriously, like 90% of the reason I am dreading pregnancy again is the comments. OMG, the comments. What is it about pregnancy that makes people think “oh public domain, I can say whatever I want.” Here’s some gems that I got:
1. Wow, you look like you’re about 100 months pregnant! (I was about 6 months.)
2. Are you sure you’re not having twins? Me: Yep, 100% sure. Are you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SURE? (I cried all the way home.)
3. What are you having? Me: A boy (my second.) Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you would’ve wanted a girl. (Ummm, I didn’t check a box when I got pregnant, I don’t get to choose. And why are you sorry? I’m not sorry.)
4. OMG your face!!! I can really see it in your face. [Look of extreme pity.] I can’t believe how big your face is. (From my MIL.)
5. How are you feeling? When are you due? Are you still here? Haven’t you had that baby yet? When are you having that baby? Are you going to go into labor anytime? You are huge! Are you ready to pop?? Are you miserable? And 80,000 others like it in the last 2 weeks.
I seriously stoppped going into public the last week of my second pregnancy b/c I just could.not.handle.anymore.comments!
Andrea recently posted..Crossroads
I hear yah. The comments are brutal and after a while, it gets old. I used to hate going to the supermarket in the last few weeks of pregnancy. How many times can I tell you what I am having. I know some people are just being friendly but it does get old!Thanks for sharing!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Some people just don’t get it, do they? How about all of the random strangers who feel the need to ask about your impending birth? Like “have you lost your mucus plug?” Ewww, I certainly don’t want to talk about it with random strangers, that’s for sure!
Congrats on your 3rd!
Christie recently posted..Have They Ever Known…?
Thanks for reading and commenting Christy!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
YIKES!! Yes, people are idiots at times. While I was pregnant with #4 several people asked me if this was an “oops baby”. Our youngest at that time was 16 so big gap there. Lucky for me I would just reply with the very graphic story of our two vasectomy reversals! heehee
Most people also just assumed that we were a blended family. Nope.
People are interested in other people, I guess. If I ever had a 4th, I would be scared to hear what people would say! Thanks so much for sharing!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Oops. I meant #5. We have 6 kids now.
Chris recently posted..Christmas Memories
Before you answer with “as long as it’s healthy” again, maybe you should read this… http://www.reagansblob.com/2011/04/as-long-as-its-healthy/, made me think about saying that phrase.
That’s an interesting article and has me thinking. I would OF COURSE love my child if he/she wasn’t healthy. I guess the best response would be “it’s my child so whatever sex she is, however he/she enters this world, I am going to love it!”. I don’t think there is any malice when anyone says “as long as it’s healthy” because everyone hopes for a healthy baby. I see your point though. Thanks for sharing.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Agree with Megan. Our daughter was not born healthy but everything turned out well in the end.
Ok. So I LOVE this. I have heard every one of them. Even, “You are so huge! You must be having twins.” Lucky for her I was. Which meant I was in no condition to beat her down. But the best one I got when pregnant with number four and attempting to wind my way through costco with three small children was the little old lady that jumped out in front of my cart and told me I was stupid for getting pregnant again. I already had one girl, so what did I need another baby for? Really?
Andie @ multiplemama recently posted..Whatcha wanna do?
WOW! What nerve. I was in Target with my boys while very pregnant and this woman said, “G-d bless you”. I could never! I actually took it as a compliment!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
One of the rudest comments I received was immediately AFTER I had my second baby…passed by a beauty product stand at the mall, pushing a stroller, and the saleswoman yelled out, “WE HAVE GREAT STRETCH MARK CREAM!”
Pretty sure I seared a hole in her head with my glare. Hopefully for her sake, they also had great burn relief cream.
Candy recently posted..Today’s Dish: Alicia Silverstone in Defense of Spit-Feeding & Ashley Judd in Defense of Her “Puffy” Face
LOL. That is funny. Perhaps she was trying to be a good saleswomen but it backfired.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Wow! Some of your comments are so horrendous, I can’t even imagine someone being stupid enough to say them! However, while I was pregnant, all I heard was, “Are you having twins?……Are you sure?….You’re pretty big for only having one in there!” Gee thanks! I’m 4’11″, having a small human growing in my belly probably looks much larger on me, but once I say “NO!”, you should probably find a new line of questioning.
Cassie recently posted..Heading to the Produce Stand
The twins comment seems so popular. No one wants to hear they look like they are having twins when they have one in there.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I vividly remember in the early days of my pregnant (I think I’d only known a few weeks) my then sister-in-law handing me a list (6 freaking pages long) of all the things I could and couldn’t eat, use on my body or be in the general vicinity of whilst pregnant. I decided (after I cried in the shower) that I would 1) ignore all unsolicited pregnancy/ parenting advice 2) do whatever felt right and 3) never, ever get pregnant again.
People like to give advice but everyone should keep their opinions to themselves!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Why is it a free for all and that people think they can say these kinds of things to pregnant women? I mean they wouldn’t say things like that to a woman about her non-pregnant figure so why say them WHILE pregnant, when their hormones, etc. are outta whack and they may not be feeling their best while so very pregnant? I don’t get it.
Hope you’re delivery goes well and you’re gonna love having three! :)
Elaine recently posted..They smelled so good…
Thanks so much for your well wishes! I completely agree with your questioning making statements to pregnant women when you wouldn’t make statements to non-pregnant women. What is it…free time to judge a person’s face, body, etc.? Crazy.
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
Comment: Can I rub your belly?
Response: No I am not a buddha idol
Comment: Well I heard it was good luck
Response: Well good luck with that
I am usually one to say exactly what I am thinking, which is probably why i have so few close friends. Oh well! My friends and family have the best time being next to me when people say stupid things.
Sweety Darlin recently posted..UPDATED: Kindle Fire Giveaway!
I would like to be next to you as well. You sound like a great companion! Hey, at least your honest and you know your word means something! Thanks for reading and commenting! You always have a friend at Mommy Masters!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
The one I hate and it always makes me feel super fat, at any stage of my pregnancy is “Only one? You sure there’s not two or more in there?” ….I’m having my fifth in a couple weeks and cannot even say how many times I’ve heard a version of this.
Congrats on your 5th!!! You are a true Mommy Master!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I forgot about this one until I heard it last night after the ice water I was drinking decided to all come out of the glass at once and down my shirt! Some guy I barely know actually said something about me lactating. The first water spot was above my chest so I pointed to it and said yes, I have high nipples. Idiot, are we in junior high!?!
LOL! Thanks for sharing!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
“You look tired” is just a gnats ass away from saying “you look bad”. Pregnant or not, I freaking hate it when people say that shit. I want to say, “Well, you look stupid” or something equally brilliant. And why why why does your appearance become fair game when you are pregnant? I mean, the only thing you say to a pg woman is how great they look and how you just know that everything will be great! humph.
Rebeccah recently posted..Rollin’ Down The A1A. (I’m Resisting The Urge To Sing "Ice, Ice Baby")
Agree with you on all fronts! “You look tired” is so my biggest pet peeve! Thanks for commenting!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I’m only 21 weeks, so I’m sure I have a lot more fun to go through!! However, it is already beginning. I didn’t alert my coworkers to my ‘condition’ until after 12 weeks for obvious reasons, but they all must have assumed that I let them know the second I conceived, because they can’t believe I’m showing ALREADY!! Thanks, I’ll put down my cookie now! I also keep getting the twins thing from one of them. No, we had u/s at 6 & 8 weeks due to complications and at 20, fairly sure there is just one. Along with, you must be having a boy, you don’t look pregnant from behind. Um, thanks for keeping watch on my @$$. My husband got really upset at a guy friend for a comment too. My hubs commented he wanted a girl because he thought a girl would do better in school & friend said “Well there are a lot of dumb girls out there too, so you can’t count on it”…hubs almost went through the roof and went and told the guys wife that she needed to keep him in check. Poor dad-to-be, he didn’t want anyone suggesting our baby would be dumb! :) PS- we are having a girl!
Seriously…people really do say the dumbest things! Thanks for sharing and reading my article!
Ellie-The Mommy Master recently posted..April Parenting Tip
I had a man ask me when I was still in my first trimester, “Oh, what do you have?” (Since I had hyperemesis my entire 1st tri, and was carrying a tiny waste bucket to “catch”). And I answered between boughts of sickness, “I’m pregnant.”
My twins are 18 months old. How about,
1. Were they natural? (All the time, even now and by perfect strangers.)
And
2. At least you got it over with at once.
(Uh… I would lover another pregnancy and a “normal” labor and delivery, along with another newborn experience but I gotta think long and hard because “I got it over with at once,” ya lil -#%>*.)
I can totally relate to this post. LOL. My sister’s pregnant right now and when somebody calls her fat, she gets mad right away. Some people are just stupid enough to think that conceiving a baby makes a woman fat. They’re being ridiculous.
Lea Enslin recently posted..EcoTools & Earth Month – The Living Beautifully Community
Oh my goodness I never would have expected some of these! I can’t believe you stayed so cordial in your response. What I was really thinking would have come out in response to more than one of these.