Did You Really Just Say That?

136 Comments

People are capable of saying really stupid things at times. Whether they mean to or not, their words can be hurtful, insulting and quite puzzling. We can all say we have been guilty of letting a comment slip here and there, and then regretting it later, but for some, there is no remorse, no wish of turning back time and often a clear lack of filter. I could write a very long book on the subject of dumb things people say but I am going to focus on pregnancy since I am 39 weeks and ready to pop. Did you really just say that?

When someone is pregnant, the topic of how you look and how you feel is an obvious and easy choice for conversation.  Don’t get me wrong, I love answering questions and sharing my pregnancy with those that ask about it, but it never fails to amaze me the funny, odd, rude and just plain stupid things that have been said to me.  With each pregnancy, (this is my third), the comments just get better and better.  So here are my top 10 favorites:

1) Comment: Are you having a girl?
My response: No
Comment: Are you having a boy then?
My response: Well if I’m not having a girl, then chances are it’s a boy.
What I was thinking: No…I am actually having a dog. Really?

2) Comment: Do you know what you are having?
My response: Yes, we are having a boy.
Comment: Another boy….oh…I’m sorry to hear that.  You must have wanted that girl.
My response: We’re not.  We are extremely excited and happy to add a third boy to our crew.  As      long as it’s healthy, we really don’t care what we are having.
What I was thinking:  I’m sorry you’re an idiot…(and then a smile).

3) Comment: Wow…you look different to me today…like you have dropped quite a bit.  Now you look really pregnant and ready to go.  Wow.  I bet you can’t wait to get this baby out.  But… you still look good though.
My response: Well…I am 2 weeks away so I am probably looking like a pregnant woman who is about to give birth should look.  I am feeling pretty good actually so not in any rush…I need these few weeks to get ready.
What I was thinking: What do you expect me to look like?  I am out and about, living my life when I could be bitching and complaining in bed.  I actually thought I looked pretty good, considering, but clearly my mirror lied to me this morning…thanks for the play by play though.

4)  Comment: You are HUGE!!! Holy Cow!
My response: Uh…yes, my stomach is very big but I feel great.  Just for future reference, you never tell a pregnant woman she is huge, (along with a slight chuckle).
What I was thinking: Jerk!

5)  Comment: I didn’t see your face come through the door, only your body…thought you were a short fat woman. (Yes, someone actually said this to me)
My response: SILENCE along with a very dirty look.
What I was thinking: What the hell is wrong with you?

6)  Comment: I wish you nothing but the best with your delivery…especially considering so many things can go wrong.  (Said by a Nurse Practitioner at an appointment, none the less).
My response: Thank you and I’m sure my surgery will go great.
What I was thinking: Did you really just say that out loud?  Shame on you!

7) Comment: You are nuts to have a third…I cannot imagine.  In fact, I’m a bit scared for you.
My response:  I’m sure it will be crazy at first but once I get into a rhythm, it will be my everyday life and I can’t wait!
What I was thinking:  I am scared for you and you only have one!

8)  Comment: You must be having a girl because from the back you have gotten quite wide in the past few weeks.
My response:  No words, only tears!
What I was thinking: Why? Why?  Why?  You mean and heartless person!

9) Comment: I bet you are having another boy.  It makes sense because I can’t see you with a girl anyway.  You’re a better “boy” mom.
My response:  Thanks… I think.  I hope it’s a boy then…otherwise I’m in trouble, right?”
What I was thinking: Did I just get insulted?  I think I did…not really sure.

10) Comment: How are you feeling?  You definitely look tired today…especially around your eyes.
My response: You guessed it.  I am tired…to be expected being that I am pregnant chasing 2 kiddies around and adding in the fact that my husband has been gone all week travelling.
What I was thinking: Clearly if my face is telling you how I am feeling, is there really a need to ask?  I feel crappy enough as it is, am feeling fat, bloated and exhausted…no need for you to bring it to my attention and make me feel worse.  Thanks though!  By far, one of the most irritating comments, pregnant or not.  Now who else is going to get my wrath today?

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    CoreyJo says

    People are stupid, plain and simple. I think pregnant women are incredibly beautiful. I always felt the prettiest when I was pregnant.

    I have to give you credit because all of your “thoughts” are what I would have, and actually have, said in reply to those questions. By the time my third pregnancy came along those who knew me didn’t even bother to ask anything. Only the unaware and stupid ones dared open their mouths.

    Congrats on the baby btw. Don’t worry, the routine for the third baby falls into place faster than the rest did. Well for me it did.

    Best wishes for you and your family
    Be well, & be blessed

    CoreyJo

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  2. 3

    Alison@Mama Wants This says

    I’m 36 weeks along now and I’ve heard quite a few stupid comments too! I wish people would think before they speak.

    Congratulations on #3 and have a safe delivery, Ellie!

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  3. 8

    Mama Melch says

    What is this pregnancy excuse from the usual rules of decorum? If you shouldn’t say it when I’m not pregnant, don’t say it when I am. Ditto for unsolicited parenting/life advice. I still prefer the comments over the groping though. I never knew if slapping an old man’s hand while he reached for my pregnant belly in line at the grocery store was acceptable. Kudos for your amazing reatraint while filled with hormones, and good luck with the next few weeks of changes coming your way.

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      • 10

        Jillian says

        Right there with you. Why do strangers suddenly think touching my stomach is ok? I don’t know your name, I have no idea who you are. Keep your hands to your self! I literally barked at an old couple once because I bumped into them 3 seperate times in a 15 minute period and each time they asked to touch my stomach and I told them no. At least I did the first two times. The third I barked like I had lost my mind and they shuffled away in terror. Crazy people.

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        • 11

          Brenda says

          I literally just lol’ed, Am about to hit 17 weeks and this is one of my biggest fears when it comes to being around other people. Two weeks ago I was at a bar and this chick asked why I wasn’t drinking. After I told her that I am prego, she started rubbing my belly and announcing to the whole bar “This girl is pregnant, she is REALLY pregnant.” Even with me explaining that I wasn’t far enough along for her to feel anything, it took me a couple minutes to get her to stop. And yes, I had just met her that night. I wanted to scream.

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  4. 13

    Mercy says

    Insane! People actually say such things??? How offensive can you get!
    Congrats on number 3. If it is any comfort, the third time around is much easier with all the baby stuff, at least it was for me. You know what to do and what to expect and you don’t freak out over unimportant things like you did with your first. The only tough part for me was my older two were 3 and 19 months when the last one was born. I think I was tired for a whole year. But now that the baby is 17 months I find it much easier.

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    • 14

      Ellie-The Mommy Master says

      Thanks Mercy. Your words of encouragement are wonderful to hear! Yes, I am so tired but every day it gets easier and I get into a routine. I find from 5-7 is the hardest with dinner, baths, bedtime, books, feedings, etc., especially when hubby is traveling. Thanks for your comments!

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  5. 15

    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says

    One of the worst comments I got was when I was pregnant with the second: a woman finding out I was expecting again while the eldest was only 8 months old told me that I was behaving very unresponsible towards my child, my career and myself and asked my if I didn’t I know I had “options”. I never came closer to committing manslaughter.

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      • 18

        Carrie says

        I have twin boys and when I told co-workers that I was pregnant with my 3rd, each and every one of them acted shocked and appalled. One went so far as to say that friends of hers think anything more than 2 kids constitutes a litter and you’re no better than a dog. Whoa. I just walked away from that one (but remember it clear as day 5 years later).

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        • 19

          Michelle Yung says

          I would’ve barked at her… Immature I know, but she wouldn’t have known what to with that!

          How can people be so rude??
          What’s wrong with big families? I’m one of four and I am expecting my first – I want at least two!

          You have really good self-control not to have just smacked her! Who says that? It’s nobody’s business but yours and your hubby’s on how many kids you have.

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  6. 20

    Regina says

    What gives people the right to say these things to people, seriously!

    There are things to be avoided, especially if you have had kids. You know the drill, dont be an ass.

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  7. 22

    Jana @ The Jealousy Files says

    When I was pregnant, I was enormous. I had my own orbit, I was so big. And I was only having one. More than one person said to me “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there because you are HUGE!”

    While I smiled politely and said “Yes, I’m sure it’s only one” what I wanted to say was “Shut the f*ck up, please. I know I’m huge and that comment? Didn’t help!”

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    • 23

      Ellie-The Mommy Master says

      I got the same thing with my 1st. People in the mall would walk by and say, “Damn girl, you are HUGE…I hope there are twins in there”. I swear. After a while, I gave a look that could kill! Thanks for your comments!

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  8. 24

    Shanan says

    When I was pregnant with my third girl, my neighbor actually said that it was ” a shame” that I wasn’t having a boy and that I must be so disappointed. Ugh! People say stupid things but don’t let it get you down. Being a mother of three I can tell you that I never felt better leaving the hospital and never felt more confident once home with the new baby.

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    • 25

      jill says

      What is it with people thinking because you have a child of one gender you must want the next one to the be the other gender. I have a son and am currently pregnant with #2, we didn’t find out the sex (maybe we should have to shut everyone up) people keep saying “I’ll pray for a girl for you”. Actually (I’d be happy with either, blah blah blah) but I am leaning towards wanting another boy more, pray for that.

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    • 26

      Ellie-The Mommy Master says

      I don’t know what the deal is with gender. As long as it’s healthy, who cares. I now have people asking when I am having my 4th and if I hope it’s a girl. I was like, can my C-Section wound heal first before you even go there? Thanks for your comments!

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  9. 27

    Karin says

    I haven’t announced my third pregnancy yet and I’m not looking forward to the comments. When I told one person I was pregnant with my second she said, “What are you trying to do, start your own football team??” Oh my.

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    • 28

      Ellie-The Mommy Master says

      I have heard the football comment a million times. Enjoy your secret for a while and if anyone makes a comment, just laugh. Congratulations and wishing you a wonderful pregnancy!

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