Ellie Hirsch is creator of The Mommy Master,™ a resource for mothers all over the world. It provides parenting tools to create a flourishing family environment, ranging from parenting tips and tricks, to offering emotional support and reassurance to help build confidence. Learn more at www.mommymasters.com.
People are capable of saying really stupid things at times. Whether they mean to or not, their words can be hurtful, insulting and quite puzzling. We can all say we have been guilty of letting a comment slip here and there, and then regretting it later, but for some, there is no remorse, no wish of turning back time and often a clear lack of filter. I could write a very long book on the subject of dumb things people say but I am going to focus on pregnancy since I am 39 weeks and ready to pop.
When someone is pregnant, the topic of how you look and how you feel is an obvious and easy choice for conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I love answering questions and sharing my pregnancy with those that ask about it, but it never fails to amaze me the funny, odd, rude and just plain stupid things that have been said to me. With each pregnancy, (this is my third), the comments just get better and better. So here are my top 10 favorites:
1) Comment: Are you having a girl?
My response: No
Comment: Are you having a boy then?
My response: Well if I’m not having a girl, then chances are it’s a boy.
What I was thinking: No…I am actually having a dog. Really?
2) Comment: Do you know what you are having?
My response: Yes, we are having a boy.
Comment: Another boy….oh…I’m sorry to hear that. You must have wanted that girl.
My response: We’re not. We are extremely excited and happy to add a third boy to our crew. As long as it’s healthy, we really don’t care what we are having.
What I was thinking: I’m sorry you’re an idiot…(and then a smile).
3) Comment: Wow…you look different to me today…like you have dropped quite a bit. Now you look really pregnant and ready to go. Wow. I bet you can’t wait to get this baby out. But… you still look good though.
My response: Well…I am 2 weeks away so I am probably looking like a pregnant woman who is about to give birth should look. I am feeling pretty good actually so not in any rush…I need these few weeks to get ready.
What I was thinking: What do you expect me to look like? I am out and about, living my life when I could be bitching and complaining in bed. I actually thought I looked pretty good, considering, but clearly my mirror lied to me this morning…thanks for the play by play though.
4) Comment: You are HUGE!!! Holy Cow!
My response: Uh…yes, my stomach is very big but I feel great. Just for future reference, you never tell a pregnant woman she is huge, (along with a slight chuckle).
What I was thinking: Jerk!
5) Comment: I didn’t see your face come through the door, only your body…thought you were a short fat woman. (Yes, someone actually said this to me)
My response: SILENCE along with a very dirty look.
What I was thinking: What the hell is wrong with you?
6) Comment: I wish you nothing but the best with your delivery…especially considering so many things can go wrong. (Said by a Nurse Practitioner at an appointment, none the less).
My response: Thank you and I’m sure my surgery will go great.
What I was thinking: Did you really just say that out loud? Shame on you!
7) Comment: You are nuts to have a third…I cannot imagine. In fact, I’m a bit scared for you.
My response: I’m sure it will be crazy at first but once I get into a rhythm, it will be my everyday life and I can’t wait!
What I was thinking: I am scared for you and you only have one!
8) Comment: You must be having a girl because from the back you have gotten quite wide in the past few weeks.
My response: No words, only tears!
What I was thinking: Why? Why? Why? You mean and heartless person!
9) Comment: I bet you are having another boy. It makes sense because I can’t see you with a girl anyway. You’re a better “boy” mom.
My response: Thanks… I think. I hope it’s a boy then…otherwise I’m in trouble, right?”
What I was thinking: Did I just get insulted? I think I did…not really sure.
10) Comment: How are you feeling? You definitely look tired today…especially around your eyes.
My response: You guessed it. I am tired…to be expected being that I am pregnant chasing 2 kiddies around and adding in the fact that my husband has been gone all week travelling.
What I was thinking: Clearly if my face is telling you how I am feeling, is there really a need to ask? I feel crappy enough as it is, am feeling fat, bloated and exhausted…no need for you to bring it to my attention and make me feel worse. Thanks though! By far, one of the most irritating comments, pregnant or not. Now who else is going to get my wrath today?