I constantly find myself comparing my relationship with our dog to your relationship with your child. I know, I know. It’s not the same thing, but I’ll be darned if there aren’t some similarities: He wakes me in the middle of the night. He counts on me to feed, bathe, dress, and console him. Yes, I said dress. He’s 4.5 lbs and he gets cold easily. If he’s sick, I take him to the doctor. I reward him for good behavior. I take preventative measures to keep him healthy, and my God, I miss him when I’m away for too long.
True, I did not carry this pup for ten months in the womb… Nor do I need to arrange for day care when we can’t be home with him – I get it. But you know what? He still requires a great deal of attention. So, to honor Tank, I’m going to outline all the ways my ‘little buddy’ is better – or at least cooler – than your child.
1. I can put a bowl of food and water on the floor for him when I leave in the morning. If he’s hungry enough he’ll eat.
2. I can drop him off at MomMom & PopPop’s house for a weekend, or heck, even a week without much notice.
3. He misbehaved? “Go to your crate.”
4. He can sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed. Forever.
5. He needs human interaction and I’m hungover? Too bad. I’m going back to sleep.
6. He’s neutered.
7. He can’t talk. But that head tilt and those eyes say it all.
8. He can’t talk back.
9. I don’t have to worry about him getting accepted to any Ivy League schools.
And last but certainly not least…
10. No diapers here. Poop in our front yard … It’s cool. I’ll pick it up. Maybe.
Aren’t you convinced?