10 Reasons I Think Dogs Are Better Than Kids


Dogs Are Better Than Kids

I constantly find myself comparing my relationship with our dog to your relationship with your child. I know, I know. It’s not the same thing, but I’ll be darned if there aren’t some similarities: He wakes me in the middle of the night. He counts on me to feed, bathe, dress, and console him. Yes, I said dress. He’s 4.5 lbs and he gets cold easily. If he’s sick, I take him to the doctor. I reward him for good behavior. I take preventative measures to keep him healthy, and my God, I miss him when I’m away for too long.

True, I did not carry this pup for ten months in the womb… Nor do I need to arrange for day care when we can’t be home with him – I get it. But you know what? He still requires a great deal of attention. So, to honor Tank, I’m going to outline all the ways my ‘little buddy’ is better – or at least cooler – than your child.

1. I can put a bowl of food and water on the floor for him when I leave in the morning. If he’s hungry enough he’ll eat.

2. I can drop him off at MomMom & PopPop’s house for a weekend, or heck, even a week without much notice.

3. He misbehaved? “Go to your crate.”

4. He can sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed. Forever.

5. He needs human interaction and I’m hungover? Too bad. I’m going back to sleep.

6. He’s neutered.

7. He can’t talk. But that head tilt and those eyes say it all.

8. He can’t talk back.

9. I don’t have to worry about him getting accepted to any Ivy League schools.

And last but certainly not least…

10. No diapers here. Poop in our front yard … It’s cool. I’ll pick it up. Maybe.

Aren’t you convinced?


The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 3

    grownandflown says

    You are my hero – you have said out loud what I have long felt about our Labradors, I just try not to say it in front of the kids. And that part about Ivy League Schools is just so true I want to weep.

    Show Replies
  2. 4

    Debbie says

    Diana I have to give it to you. You make some great points here in why we should have a dog rather than kids.

    i would like to add when it comes to a dog, if you feel bad, dogs don’t ask why they just feel bad with you.

    When it comes to kids or even hubby if you are feeling bad and having a bad day, ever human in the house seems to follow suite.

    As they they say, “If mom isn’t happy no one is happy.”

    Only problem don’t ever count of any grandkids, you may get puppies. The pay off when it comes to having kids over dogs is that with kids you have grandkids someday. And then it is pay pack time. The blessing really comes when you get to send them back home after you are completely spoiling them.

    Show Replies
  3. 6

    MomChalant says

    This is HILARIOUS! #3-#6 are my favorites! I know some of us moms wish it were as easy as putting misbehaved children in a cage – so you definitely win there.

    Show Replies
  4. 7

    Wendy says

    You forgot one thing. The complete and utter excitement your dog shows when you walk in the door. You are a rock star. Every single time. I even get that treatment when I stumble out of bed in the morning.
    My kids? I’m lucky if I get a snide “oh it’s you.” Combined with eye roll.
    Yes, my dog is my favorite child.

    Show Replies
    • 8

      Diana says

      So glad you enjoyed it ladies! It was fun to write. Wendy, you’re so right… I could have made a list of 50 things! I love Tank so much, and I’m so happy I can share some of his awesomeness with everyone.

      Show Replies
  5. 11

    Anne says

    After being up at 2am with my own dog-baby, I can really appreciate this list! I’ll add that they never ask to borrow the car, and you don’t have to schlep them to a million activities. ;)

    Show Replies
  6. 12

    Amanda says

    Dogs are really good at accepting blame from the human children for messes made & furniture destroyed.

    “Which one of you did that?”

    “It was the dog!” (Usually said in unison.)

    Sure boys, I really believe the dog took all of your Legos out of the bin, built half a spaceship, and then left the Legos all over your room! Lol!!

    Great post!!

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>