10 Dread Worthy Mom Moments

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Remember those late nights trying to soothe a colicky baby? Or how you spent days bribing your three year old with M&Ms to pretty-pretty-please-poop-on-the-potty? We complain and grumble about these mundane, less-than-glamorous moments of motherhood, but I don’t know, the next phase of parenting looks pretty freaking scary to me.

As my six year old prepares to “graduate” from kindergarten, it suddenly feels like he’s one step away from junior high and falling in love and getting a driver’s license. When I really stop and consider some of the challenging and – yes – painful mom moments that are undoubtedly ahead of me, it makes me appreciate (and dare I say, enjoy?) these days when my biggest parenting dilemma is whether I should let my kids watch those obnoxious “Bubble Guppies” for the umpteenth time. Here are the ten moments I dread most…

1. When my kids ask me whether I ever smoked cigarettes, drank in high school or did any other naughty things and I have to decide whether to flat-out lie or tell them some version of the truth.

2. Changing my son’s sheets when he’s a teenager and finding evidence of … well … you know …

3. Having “the talk.” At least my husband and I each get stuck with initiating one, since we have a son and a daughter. But we moms get screwed. We’re the ones who have to sing the praises of tampons and explain how babies exit a woman’s body and make “You’re going to bleed every single month for the next 25 years!” sound exciting.

4. Being told “I hate you!” when it sure sounds like they mean it.

5. The first time one of my kids gets bullied: whether it’s online, at recess or by the local “mean girls.” I’d like to think it’s never going to happen, but it just seems kind of inevitable these days.

6. Living with a moody, dramatic, hormonal teenage girl. There’s only room for one moody female in this house and you’re looking at her. This is going to be fun. Oh, and yes, Mom and Dad, I realize this is what you call karma. You can stop laughing now.

7. Realizing I am no longer capable of helping with my kids’ homework (algebra, anyone?), which leads them to believe they are smarter than me.

8. Setting curfews and then staying up late, staring at the clock, waiting for them to walk in the door safely. Thank God for texting. Remember having to make that awful 11:30pm call to your parents to tell them you were going to be late?

9. Two words: driver’s permit.

10. The minute I go from being “Mommy” to just “Mom.”

What inevitable moments do you dread?

Comments

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  1. 1

    tammy says

    I guess for me, its when my daughter start asking about boys :), not that i dread it, but am so protective that i wont want her to get hurt but i guess thats how they learn.
    Nice post Jessica Grimes

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  2. 2

    Janine Huldie says

    Yes to all of the above and I have two girls only 16 months apart. So, I will be having that conversation twice in less then two years time most likely. Heaven help me!!

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    • 3

      cass says

      my sister and I are 22 months apart…My parents pretty much evaluated what my sister could handle…and gave a general overview talk to the both of us at once, the keep your pants zipped until your married, and if you get pregnant, you’ll keep the baby, work, and finish high school. At a separate time I got a more in-depth talk, but the overview talk kind of broke the ice, and opened up the communication, plus it helped my younger sister understand why I was way moody, and that she needed to stay out of the way. My dad was included on all conversations, even though it might have been uncomfortable, at least we knew my parents were on the same page!

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  3. 6

    Tia says

    I have 2 teen stepsons and the way to prevent dealing with #2 is to just have them remove the sheets and take them to the washing machine when they need to be changed. It gets you (and them) out of really having to look at the awkward evidence, and you only have to do half the work of changing the sheets! (One of my least favorite chores…)
    And #6 is exactly why my husband and I are done with having kids (even though the boys are not technically mine)…I’m living with 2 teenage boys AND we have a 1 year old girl. I will have to try to survive both sexes as teenagers, and there are no other options.
    Older adults look at me like I’m crazy when I say that last part… :)

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    • 7

      twinmommy says

      No way am I dealing with #2. My eight year old b/g twins have been taught how to run the washer/dryer and strip their own beds for this very reason. I am tired of sorting through sharted underwear and in the future the evidence will be gone before I have to touch his clothes/sheets.

      The “talk” started here about a year ago when the kids started asking way too many questions about babies. I decided I wasn’t going to sugar coat anything and answered whatever questions they asked. Every few months one of them brings up something related and we start all over again. They both have a thorough understanding of the reproductive system and what will happen with both of them. Not too much talk yet on the safe sex end but again they are only 8. The thought of sex is still gross.

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  4. 8

    Jessica Smock says

    I was just thinking about when little boys stop saying, “Mommy” the other day. There is just nothing cuter than a little boy when he’s asking for his mommy. That day will certainly make me sad!

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  5. 9

    FrazzledRuby says

    I want my kids to respect themselves. For most my life, I’d say I was a good person, but I did spend some time just being wild. And I have tattoos that represent some of those times. I’m sure I’ll be explaining them. And convincing them that just because their parents made some poor choices, doesn’t mean they need to.

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  6. 10

    deneen says

    best advice i can give you: (ok listen CAREFULLY… are you listening??!!??) ok, when they are about 10, TEACH THEM HOW THE LAUNDRY SYSTEM WORKS! Honestly, its THE most important piece of advice for surviving both your soon-to-be teenage son and daughter!!! next piece of necessary advice : NEVER NEVER NEVER walk in a teenage boys room without knocking AND WAITING TO BE TOLD TO ENTER! …. NEVER!!

    Good Luck! let me know when you get here, i’ll buy you a really big bottle of wine and a straw! xod

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    • 11

      Meppie says

      Holy shitballs – you aren’t kidding. Little bastards don’t know the concept of the lock on the door? I am always really careful during the day… but there was a night… when I heard noises… and checking up on those noises… I now have that fucking image burned in my brain for all of eternity thank you.

      Laundry – best decision I ever made was having the boys strip their own sheets on laundry day and put them in the washer. Started that little gem when oldest was 10 (youngest got an early kick-start at 7).

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      • 13

        Ambria says

        Lol! I wish I had you as a parent. I lived in one of those houses where the adults either wouldn’t knock, or would knock, but walk right in anyway.

        On top of that, they would pitch a fit if the door was EVER locked. I would lock it anyway just so I could change my clothes in peace, and my grandmother would almost immediately be frantically jiggling the knob, demanding that I unlock the door and to know why it was locked.

        This happened with such speed and frequency, I’m now convinced that she must have been obsessively checking the knob in the event that it might have been locked. It’s amazing I turned out sane.

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  7. 14

    Jennifer says

    #7 happened in 2nd grade for me. Not because of the subject matter, but because the kids have to do the work the way the teachers teach it. Which is, of course, totally different than the way I learned it!

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  8. 15

    Claire says

    I am dreading #2 the most. First because of the awkwardness and then the irrefutable truth that he is no longer my little boy. Wah! I appreciate the advice about getting them to wash their own sheets and knocking.

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  9. 16

    Christy says

    I have three teenage boys. I thank God every day that I don’t have any daughters for the reason you stated (#6).

    #2 was shocking with the first one. The second one has hidden it from me and the third one, well.. I’m no longer shocked. Which is a little sad.

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  10. 17

    Lollie - The Fortuiotus Housewife says

    My husband continues to be amazed by my perpetual looking ahead, anticipating and planning, but I hadn’t even started to think about or dread any of these “bright” moments waiting for me on the parenting highway – I’ll go have my panic attack now, thanks pal.

    Teenage boy sheet changing – yikes! Never once thought of that one, and I’ve got two boys! Guess I’ll have to start teaching them to change their own sheets.

    But seriously, I’m already dreading the day, 10 years in the future, when my oldest heads off to college, leaving behind his two-year younger brother. They’re so tight, I just can’t imagine what my younger one will do without his partner-in-crime.

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  11. 18

    Blair Francis says

    Yes to every single one, but I especially dread #6. I was a complete brat as a teenager and I apologize to my mom ALL the time. If my girl is anything like me, and early evidence points to yes, I am in for a roller coaster ride.

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  12. 19

    AnnMarie says

    I relate to every single one of these. I am there. I am in the trenches and I hate to be one of those people that says, “Hang onto the Bubble Guppies because this stage is terrifying!” but I feel I should warn you. I wish someone would have told me to not freak out when he would get a fever or fall and scrape his knee because I would be freaking out so much right now. I have a teen, twin tweens and a toddler. I should just reserve a padded room right now.

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  13. 20

    rachel says

    janine.. mine are 12 months apart, two girls. 16 months is pretty far apart actually. and why not just have the talk at the same time? why do two seperate ones? odd

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    • 21

      Brandy P says

      I have a boy, 11 and a girl, almost 9. I have always answered all questions when they were asked. The only one I would answer was how the sperm gets to the egg. I told them when my son was 10 I would tell them, and did. They heard it all at the same time. He knows about periods and she knows about wet dreams. I figured if they were old enough to ask they were old enough to know. Keeping things secret leads to…problems and accidents…imo

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  14. 23

    Amanda says

    The ‘Mommy’ to ‘Mom’ transition isn’t bad, but hearing your child accuse you of loving his brother more is tough & might make you question some of your parenting skills.

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    • 24

      Meppie says

      I got that too… from my oldest. Don’t fret dear, hopefully he will be blessed with 2+ children of his own one day, and he will learn that you love them equally, without reserve. That you love them for their differences, therefore loving them may seem a little different.

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      • 25

        Amanda says

        I was the one screaming that at my own mother, so I know how he feels, but I just don’t know how to convince him that I love them equally. It wasn’t until he had his first “You love him more” fit that I realized why my mom reacted the way she did. I know he’ll figure it out one day, I just wish I could help him through the frustration.

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    • 26

      Dawn says

      When my youngest (he’s four now) was just learning to talk, he’d call me Mee-mah because he couldn’t say Mommy – when that transition happened, and he could finally say Mommy, I was heartbroken – Mee-mah was so endearing and sweet, it grew on me, and I cried when it was gone.

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      • 27

        Amanda says

        I have a brother who is 11 years younger than I am and he called me “Mimi” when he was little. The transition from Mimi to Amanda with him actually hit me harder than my own boys’ transition from Mommy to Mom. There is light at the end of the tunnel though. One day, we’ll each get to pick our own “grandma” names. Mine will be Mimi!

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        • 31

          mrsj says

          I tried the pool/swimming argument but she just doesn’t swim for that week with her period. I think if we were on vacation she would probably try though. Ugh. Did you have to go to a Mexican drugstore and find small tampons? That sounds like no fun.

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    • 33

      HB jenn says

      My dad bought champagne when mine started on vacation and had a toast to me becoming a woman. I wanted to die. Then i flushed a thick pad down the toilet because no one told me not to and the plumber was called. Ugh! Later at home, i was handed a box of tampons and instructions to go figure it out. Who really puts one leg on the toilet to put it in anyway? Ridiculous directions!

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      • 34

        Thekitchwitch says

        HB jenn,

        My mom left me alone with the tampon box instructions and a mirror and wished me luck. The first few times, I missed and inserted the dang things in my butt! Hilarious now, but then…

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        • 35

          Amanda says

          OMG!! I’m so sorry but that is hilarious! Every girl has to go through that horrible first tampon episode, but oy! I’m so glad I don’t have a daughter! I didn’t learn until I was spending the night at a friend’s house and had no other options. It helps when you insert the tampon all the way into your va-jay-jay.

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          • 36

            TheKitchWitch says

            I am serious, here. I had NO idea where that dang hole was?! I poked around, found an orifice, made a commitment, and then realized that okay. Something feels….

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        • 37

          twinmommy says

          Oh my. I’m trying not to laugh and failing miserably. I will definitely make sure my daughter knows where they go if she wants to try tampons. She seemed quite interested in my Diva cup but I’m sure that interest won’t last.

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    • 39

      Emily says

      Yes! This. My son stopped wanting to hold my hand last summer (he’s turning 7 in a couple of months). He said he didn’t want people to think he was a baby. :( Now, it’s “Mom” instead of “Mommy.” That happened about halfway through the school year this year. You never think it’s going to hit you as hard as it does.

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    • 41

      Michelle Villemaire says

      All those people who insist we “cherish every moment” can kiss it. But this moment you have described is so incredibly painful it could make me head home early today!

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  15. 42

    grownandflown says

    Hey, you over there with the kid graduating from kindergarten, I was in your shoes once….now my oldest just graduated from college and the baby is going into senior year in high school. Enjoy every gross moment going forward – your list is a good starting point! Fun times.

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  16. 43

    Kellie says

    The Care and Keeping Of You is a great book for Moms of girls. Helped immensely!
    The hormonal girl stuff…keep liquor in the house, you’ll need it. :)

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  17. 44

    Brenda Dion says

    What I’m dreading is that I don’t have enough imagination to figure out the influences on young people 10 years from now. Think 10 years ago–the iphone wasn’t even out! There was very little texting (certainly no sexting!), no instagram, etc. etc. Let the nightmares begin!

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  18. 46

    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says

    Dreading all of them! I have two girls, 16 months apart. I dread the conversation.
    For n°1 I plan to tell them a light, rose coloured version of the truth. I figure if they get up to half the stuff I did when I was a teenager they’ll have pretty swell teen years…

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