Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
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- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
As a young child, my mom dressed me much like a pilgrim. Well, maybe not a pilgrim exactly, but not like every other child on the block. My dresses and outfits could be described as classic rather than current. In the very best cases. And while I did look pretty cute sometimes, I didn’t exactly blend in. I vividly recall my first grade teacher complimenting my outfit one afternoon at recess. You don’t often see kids wearing kilts these days, she remarked. It’s so refreshing.
Flash forward to junior high. While everyone was wearing Jordache and Z. Cavaricci, I donned long skirts and button downs. I actually have a yearbook photo of myself wearing a corduroy vest. I’m pretty sure nobody else in high school wore a corduroy vest. Ever. Say what you will about being independent, but I do believe that my high school experience would have been a little less awkward had I just blended a bit more. If my fashion sense had been somewhat more… fashionable.
It took until college before I realized that I could dress however I wanted, and finally wore the jeans with intentional rips and layered t-shirts just like everybody else. And it was fun. I had a good decade of dressing well before trading everything in for the mom- yoga pants and sweatshirts I live in these days.
It came to my attention, recently, that my daughter was on the same track as me. Like my mom, I too, prefer girls clothes that look classic rather than trendy. I’ve refused to buy the faded jeans and Hannah Montana shirts that her friends all have. I shop discount for the good stuff, rather than the crap that falls apart. Corduroy pants are cute! But add some dated hand me downs to her “classic” closet, and even I could see that it needed some updating.
Last week, she proclaimed that she wanted some “cuter” clothes. Always up for a shopping spree, Jeff brought her to H&M for some retail therapy. They returned with six pairs of skinny jeans, a bunch of “cool” t-shirts and a metallic birthday dress. While the clothes are a bit skankier and have a few more zippers than I would like, I have to admit she looks adorable in them. She can be the well dressed girl that I always longed to be, and living vicariously through her is kind of cool.
But I draw the line at Hannah Montana shirts. And someday, she’ll thank me.
{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }
I first thought that was a blonde Lily in the picture… then realized it’s you. Oh. Em. Gee. I can’t stand the adorable-ness! (and yes, that is totally a word).
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Notice anything different? =-.
Oh, and I can feel your pain… as a kid, I got the hand-me-downs from my 3 older cousins. The youngest cousin was still a good 5 or 6 years older then me… so yeah, clothes were a little outdated.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Notice anything different? =-.
I’m not sure if it was because my parents let me pick my own outfits (and haircuts, ugh!), but I often looked like a reject from Little House On The Prairie or Kids Incorporated (depending on the day).
I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that my mother is NOT a style maven. She’s one that dresses for comfort alone. Does not do her hair…or makeup…unless absolutely necessary. She didn’t get it I guess. I was never able to don a french braid in grade school…
Oh gawd, the school photos. Why oh why didn’t they let someone “stylish” give me a once over before letting me out of the house on picture day???
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Period…The End =-.
I spend entirely too much money on Buttercup’s wardrobe in a pathetic effort to make sure she looks more like a Gap kid in a magazine shoot that me in my childhood photos. Even though 90 percent of what I buy is on sale, it’s still a hell of a lot more than was ever spent on my hand-me-down and thrift store wardrobe. Trust me, i can relate to being so proud she looks so cute and pissed I’m still looking at the same pictures of me as a kid. ;)
It’s funny, I thought I was pretty hip, back in the day, but looking back at some of those outfits now and I’m wondering if most of that hipness wasn’t in my head. These days, my fashion sense leaves a LOT to be desired so I live vicariously through my daughter. You can get so many cute little girl clothes for relatively inexpensive. And she doesn’t care yet that it’s not Gap or Guess or whatever the cool brands are now. In a few years, things might not be so easy.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..BlogTrotting =-.
A kilt? That is hilarious. I was all about the florescent stuff in 5th and 6th grade – sweatshirts, jelly shoes, jelly bracelets, those big Madonna style bows. My mom should have intervened.
I can so relate! I also remember thinking my mom’s clothes were awful! But, when I look back now, she was “in style.” I guess my daughters will probably think I’m uncool too as they get older. As a SAHM of four with a husband who’s been laid off, well, too long, I can’t claim to be wearing the hottest fashions these days. I just hope deep down, my sense of style is still there when I finally do get to shop for myself!
.-= Amy (@amyjod)´s last blog ..I’m thankful times four. =-.
I must say that I am really enjoying dressing my girl and I will be very sad on the day that she wants to take it over.
.-= Jen @ buried with children´s last blog ..You Need to Run! =-.
I have a weakness for spending on my daughter’s clothes. I love that she is so adorable in her cute clothes. I think we like for people to see we have a sense of style even though we may only wear jeans and t-shirts every day. Oh, and I love that you called her a “Little Skank.” I LOLed for real!
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Haiti =-.
Oh yeah, I had the kilt. With the silver pin, no less. Also a corduroy jumper with a coordinating set of (matching! striped!) turtleneck and tights. Oh, gawd, what else? Lots of peter-pan collars. My brother’s hand-me-down pullover sweaters (Mom would say, “but they were Pendletons!”). Unlike my sister, I don’t think I ever had to wear Bass penny loafers, but my mom did try to get me to wear saddle shoes. And black mary-janes (with an actual button and buttonhole on the strap) when everyone else was wearing keds. And when I was real small, Polly Flinders dresses with the smocking across the chest (actually, I liked those :-) Just the other day in Nordstrom I overheard two older dames reminiscing about Polly Flinders dresses. Hmmm.
Eeekkk! Corduroy Jumpers with matching tights, LOL! I had the same thing!
Too funny. I hear you on the poor parenting clothing choices. Roebucks were the cloths we got growing up, whether we liked it or not.
.-= Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Signs of ‘No’ Life =-.
Toughskins, we lived in them until they wore out. Patched them up and wore them out again.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..What Do Fathers Dream About =-.
Ha! Roebucks— I forgot all about those.
Thank God! I love you. When I see little girls with Jonas Bros & Hannah Montana all over their clothing I die a little bit inside. I think my respect for you has just went through the roof times 1000. I try to aim classic but cute and I buy like that for Sophia too.
.-= The Wifey´s last blog ..The Thing About Giveaways… =-.
This is a sweet entry. I remember hating my dork clothes. Apparently, I don’t hate them anymore, as I sit here wearing them.
Once Miley Cyrus swung on that stripper pole, she was banished from our house.
I love the cute, trendy little girls’ clothes, though.
Boy, did this post bring back some memories. Good call on the HM stuff, btw. My mom used to dress me in dresses all the time, and even insisted on me wearing them to church till I was about sixteen or so. Perhaps that’s why I usually just wear pants everywhere now, oh wait, no it’s because I’m an adult (sorta), and I get to dress how I want. Lol! Do you remember getting perms? Or was that just my family?
crikey your photo resembles the ones of me as a child.
My mum was evil. School colours were brown and yellow, most other mums opted for the cute yellow dress and a brow cardigan. My mum has to buck the trend and i resembled a walking talking poo!
.-= snafflesmummy´s last blog ..Photo Meme 2009 – The love in my life =-.
Oh that photo of you at the top of the post is adorable! And I think you’re right – I don’t remember cordoruy vests in high school – ha! I’m sure she’ll look adorable in all her new clothes, and good for you for just saying no to the hannah montana shirts!
.-= christy´s last blog ..Spill it, sisters. =-.
Ah, clothing is a never ending source of angst in our house.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..How to bribe your dog =-.
Amen to that. She will absolutely thank you. DAD took her to H&M??? Whoa I’m impressed. If my husband took Smart Ass shopping they’d probably be arrested by the mall police for causing an unsightly riot. No lie. I’m impressed – go dad.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Clara & the French Onion Soup =-.
Oh, yes. Dad is the hip shopper here. Or, at least he likes to think so.
I had some of the same experiences with fashion as a kid. Remember coulots? Yep, that was me AND my sister. Preacher’s kids, NOT allowed to wear even bermuda length shorts.
Fortunately, by high school, Mom let me out of the cave. But the pictures are almost painful to look at. Thanks, Mom.
.-= jen´s last blog ..just right write =-.
This is why I have two boys…so I can break the cycle!
I will lock my daughter in the closet before she owns anything hannah Montana or “princess”. BTW, you would think we were Scottish, what with the amounts of kilts she has hanging in the closet…kudos to your mother!
I had a corduroy vest in higschool! It was part of a matching outfit, green pants and the green vest and this *super cool* striped shirt that went under it. Maybe not the same style of vest as you had, but still probably not necessarily fashionable. I rocked it hard though. It was one of my favorite outfits.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..The One Where We Get to Be Rockstars. Alternately Titled: (The One in which I Misuse and Overuse Parenthesis) =-.
Sounds hot. :)
You have no idea.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Letters of Intent =-.
Ha. Yes, this would be the path it appears I am following with my daughter as well. I don’t see anything wrong with corduroy pants, jumpers, and handknit sweaters, thankyouverymuch. Of course, the day will come when her goth Auntie takes her shopping which is different from Hannah Montana, but I’m still not sure I need to see my daughter in chains & a dog collar. I suppose as long as they wait till she’s 18 to take her for her first tattoo I can relax and let her have fun with clothing. In moderation, of course.
.-= Lustau´s last blog ..Sweet Pea for my Sweet Pea =-.
I REFUSE to dress my in character clothing. Cripes….I won’t even buy her panties with Disney princess on them, that’s how anti-character clothing I am.
I, much like you, prefer to by good quality classic clothing, intermixed with a few flashier pieces. Because, well, that is how I dress. I buy good quality jeans, khaki’s and dress pants that withstand the test of time so why would I not do the same for my daughter? It makes me cringe to think that some day she will grow up and rebel – I just hope that she does it through jewelry, hair color and nail polish – and not by wanting to wear fishnets and miniskirts.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..Quietly Numb =-.
I get all irked out when there are characters on the diapers even. We normally use cloth…but when we’re out and about we use disposables…and they all have freakin’ Winnie the Pooh or Elmo on them. I really wish the store brand had good elastic :-(
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Period…The End =-.
I know!! I hate that too.
My girls, especially Grace have really great fashion sense and I couldn’t dress them if I tried. I can decide what pieces I’ll allow in though, and we don’t do “character” items either.
They are ALL OVER the skinny jeans right now.
Don’t tell anyone, but I also buy my girls designer jeans (Seven’s, Joes, True Religions). They LAST WAY longer, when they outgrow them, I re-sell them on ebay so they end up costing less than a pair of jeans from say, The Gap.
Plus, they are CUTe,, CUTE, CUTE on.
.-= angie´s last blog ..Give Me Your Best Shot =-.
*holding back rage from yesterday’s t-shirt discovery*
that being said, i’m glad to have one boy for now… and should the day come when my husband and i find ourselves with a daughter, phew… she will be lucky to leave the house in multiple layers of clothing that cover every part of her body. and then, if she’s anything like me, she’ll show up at school and change in the bathroom.
*head to desk*
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..An open letter to Roger David =-.
I’m so with you on this one. I refuse to buy anything purple sparkly emblazoned with licensed characters of any kind. I also resist skank-wear for the preschool set. Skinny jeans, I’m fine with. I just don’t see the need for naval baring tops and tight miniskirts with fringe for a four-year-old. Ya’ know?
.-= MommyTime´s last blog ..The Little Things =-.
I broke down and bought my little peanut a Hannah Montana shirt at a 2nd hand store. Luckily she ruined it right away! I too was not the best dressed kid in school, so I have taken it upon myself to make sure that Peanut is well dressed all the time, even if it is clothes form the 2nd hand store and the clearance rack from Old Navy!
.-= jayme´s last blog ..Is it So Wrong =-.
I hate character stuff- shirts, shoes, etc. And I like my little girls to look like little girls, and sometimes that’s so hard!
.-= Jayme´s last blog ..Thoughts & Thanks =-.
LOL!
My mom always dressed me like a baby doll. In fact she would make me and my dolls matching dresses. All throughout high school she would make (failed) attempts at buying me coordinated outfits. It was like she found the worst dressed person in the store and had them pick out their favorite clothes. Fast forward to today and she buys my child doll like clothing. She has gotten better, but this Christmas she did send some questionable items. I dress my kid in clothes that I would wear. I’m an old navy/HM kinda girl. Even the Gap gets a little too girly/doll-like for me. I not a big fan of matchy matchy. I do agree with you on the crap that has some overpaid tween’s mug on the front of it… like hannah montana. I actually won’t put anything on her with “characters.” I’m proud to say she’s never worn anything w/ winnie the pooh, dora, mickey/minnie, etc… Although, I did breakdown recently and allow her to wear pj’s with princesses on them.
With that said, the clothes for girls these days does border on the lines of child prostitute, so hopefully that trend will pass by the time my kid gets a mind of her own. :-)
.-= Danielle @danielle92278´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Good job Mom!
I went to Catholic school up until high school…all I can say is THANK GOD for uniforms because my parents were more open to letting us pick out our weekend/afterschool clothes since we were in uniforms most of the time.
.-= Patty´s last blog ..Book Suggestions…Please! =-.
I dream of uniforms!
I briefly considered buying the Mini-Kamp a pair of 7′s. Briefly.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..Five Questions with Always Home and Uncool =-.
I’m laughing at the corduroy vest image…yeeeooowwww!
And I bet your daughter doesn’t even have a TRACE of skank in those new clothes. Because I know that the really skanky stuff would never make it past your front door. Have you SEEN some of the stuff kids wear nowa…Oh My God. It’s Official. I’ve turned into my mother.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Neighbor Friday: A Design So Vast =-.
I was the 10th of 11 kids and the youngest of 6 girls. I had nothing but hand me downs. I got the crocheted vest one from each sister. It sucked and when I was old enough to babysit clothes were the only things I bought with that money. My mom did what she could afford and so did I. MY girls basically get the clothes they want and luckily it’s not full of designer names. The younger 2 love to shop at Tilly’s and I’m happy to have a stoe that they both find things they love.
P.S. I want the password to read the protected posts. I think I read the first one before it was protected….
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Faith and Courage =-.
Oh my Jill. You look adorable and I can see you in that little girl. Minus the corduroy overalls. Your face is precious.
My mom liked to give us bowl cuts. I think I have issues, that’s why I haven’t gotten a haircut in 6 months :)
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Breakfast Potato Skins =-.
Best blog ever! I remember wanting clothes items so badly and never having them. Some I still long for as an adult! Cute picture.
.-= Weekend Cowgirl´s last blog ..Girl Watching =-.
Let’s hear it for classic aesthetic! The shirts from Walmart with Hannah Montana on them make me ill…
.-= Lori Z.´s last blog ..A letter to IKEA! =-.
I completely agree. PLEASE don’t let your cute little girls dress like skanks! It kills me to see them in the Hannah Montana outfits. I love fashion, but little girls can be “fashionable” without looking trashy.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Resolution #4: Check =-.
My daughter’s grandmothers (great included) have had a field day buying clothes for her. From the time she was born they have showered her with dresses and all sorts of shoes. It is crazy.
Fortunately it hasn’t ever been anything too risque. I don’t get particularly excited one way or another about it.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..What Do Fathers Dream About =-.
Look at your cutie, patootie self! Oh my goodness. Will it bring us closer together if I were to tell you that I was the one in the purple corduroy knickers for my 4th grade school picture?
I love that it was Jeff who embraced H&M. I think you might be on track to change your classic ways.
.-= Mayhem and Moxie´s last blog ..I Believe I Can Fly =-.
I was never in style growing up..or probably not now either. We were dirt poor growing up and shopped at the Salvation Army. I never had the fashionable clothes or anything in style. My daughter gets Wa-Mart clothes at least…I ‘ve never been big on buying her clothes with stars on it with the exception of a shirt occasioanlly with HSM people or Twilight. She had a couple of Hannah Montana shirts that were given to her or bought by other people. I would say that she is in style for the most part, she doesn’t wear the super name brand stuff that’s so popular because I just don’t want to pay that much for a t-shirt! Anyway, she’s happy with her style and so am I, she’s cute, trendy, but conservative.
.-= Jayde´s last blog ..10 Things You Can Do To Alleviate Boredom =-.
Bwahahahahaha… I had to wear my older sisters hand me downs because we couldn’t afford anything else. Let’s note that she was 10 years older than I… that’s right… I was always a decade behind!
.-= Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog ..Life dropped kicked us! =-.
Oh but Retro is so cool now! With Etsy and all the handmade stuff out there, I am sure she looked adorable :-)
I love playing dress up with my daughter, it’s a ton of fun. She does have a very strong opinion and we are currently trying very hard to stave of the invasion of the princesses (only one step above Hannah). I am trying REALLY hard to let her be herself and not freak about her clothing choices because my mom always said “what will people think of ME if you go out looking like that” and it made me insane!
Isn’t having girls fun, all the issues the arise with in us!
Mom of an almost 3yr old going on 13
.-= MamaB´s last blog ..Fab Find Friday: Fun with Fishes =-.
Zippers and metallics are fine as long as they don’t come in too tight or too short packages. My mom and I used to shop together and I’d pick out a million things and she’d narrow it down to things that were fashionable (like purple and turquoise plaid pants with purple LA Gear swede boots) and appropriate (tight biker shorts under too short skirt were nixed). That’s how she survived raising a girl. I plan to use the same method when #2 is born in March.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..12FOR2010: Pantry Part One =-.
Good for you on for saying NO to Hannah Montana! UGH!!! I bet she looks so cute in her new clothes!
My mom started taking me shopping and letting me make my own choices when I was about 11 or so. She loved taking me to the mall (God bless her!). I hope to do the same for my daughter some day too! : ) I mean how much FUN!
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..PSF – Blown Away! =-.
Your husband likes to shop? I’m in awe. And I think that picture is the cutest thing ever!
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Friday Fiction: A Much Needed Nap =-.
My daughters (8 and 5) still look like pretty little girls when dressed up for a party, but some of their peers are into trendy black clothing and little glittery high heels. Scary looking stuff.
It won’t be long before they rebel against me and go with the flow.
When I was a kid I didn’t even realise that there was a such a thing as fashion until I got to high school.
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..Pants on the floor? No star for you! =-.
Hear hear! I dress my kid the same way. Or, I should say, I provide the same kinds of clothes for her to wear as she choses…
I want to see pictures of her new outfits!
.-= Alecia´s last blog ..St. Joe’s =-.
My stupid camera is broken. It’s killing me!!! I’ll post some as soon as I get it back! :)
I completely relate, I had to wear homemade tracksuits made of a horrible cheap version of velour! It is interesting how much we follow in the footsteps of our own parents, good on you for being aware and being open to change, many are not so aware.
.-= Christie´s last blog ..Why Kids are No Good at Being Good =-.
hey there! Does this mean yo are ready for some more boxes from Allison?! And whats wrong with the Hannah Montana t-shirts? Guess I will leave that concert t-shirt out. Would a led zeplin one be better? Hope all is well and hugs to all!
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