My husband’s social media vice is Facebook. He doesn’t have a blog, understand how to use Twitter or hang out on YouTube. He’s all about his Facebook. Which is fine. The problem? He’s just not very good at it.
I know, I know, it’s not fair of me to judge someone else’s social media skills. Who do I think I am, anyway? Everybody has the right to use these mediums the way they choose. Except in his case. In his case, I feel quite comfortable judging.
No, he doesn’t do Farmville or Favorite Friends or any of that annoying crap. It’s simply his interactions which are so irritating. You know that asshole who says something somewhat sarcastic about a new baby photo when everybody else is posting sweet and supportive messages? That’s my husband. Or who’s status updates are abstract thoughts that make no sense at all? The one who quotes depressing movies when he’s feeling down? The inside jokes that nobody understands? Yup, that’s him.
He wonders why nobody responds when he posts pictures or status updates. He’ll write something and get frustrated when, several hours later, there are still no reactions. It’s quite pathetic. And, the answer is quite obvious: It’s because they’ve hidden him. All two hundred or so of his “friends” have chosen not to see what he has to say. Or they just ignore him. Either way. Tragic, I know.
But, it’s ok, no need to pity him. My husband is just one of those people who is better in real life than on-line.
Unlike me, of course. I’m equally dazzling in both.
Previous post: Good Mothers Bake
Next post: Dominant Genes
{ 76 comments }
That is too funny. My husband isn’t on social media (he can barely use an ATM), but he does feed me lines for Twitter (most of which I ignore) when we’re watching something like the Academy Awards together.
But your last two paragraphs have me thinking: what if I’m better online than in real person?
.-= Ironic Mom´s last blog ..5 Stupid Comments Made to Parents of Twins =-.
Oh, I totally think I am. Or, can be at least.
Ha! This is me hitting the “like” button. Maybe you could give him some pointers??
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Baby Chick Flicks =-.
That is hilarious. My husband’s not on Facebook, and is totally clueless about anything computer-based. He has no idea what Twitter is, and isn’t even aware that I have a blog. I’m actually glad he’s not on FB though. I imagine if he were, he’d be much like your husband.
I set up a Facebook account for my husband. I’m pretty sure he has never even looked at it. He doesn’t get social media at all and thinks I’m crazy for being online all the time. Of course this is from the guy that could sit and play Modern Warfare all day long.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..At Day at the Fair, alternatively titled Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes and a Petting Zoo Oh My! =-.
My husband likes to tout his politcal snarkiness… embarrrassing sometimes when all of my co-workers have friended him… we’ve had words a few times…
And yes… you’ve got mad social media skilz.
At least yours actually makes an attempt. Mine is so upset about everyone abandoning AIM that all he uses FB for is Mafia Wars…and by all, I mean that’s all he does with his freetime. Every day. He uses a notebook and a calculator for it. Oh god. I married the class dweeb.
.-= Domesticated Gal´s last blog ..Gootchie Gootchie Goo =-.
That’s my husband on Facebook too. He complains to me all the time that no one comments on his stupid status updates. And yes, I do mean they are stupid in the literal sense of the word. Maybe they should friend each other.
.-= Mommie Daze´s last blog ..Gleek Retreat Blogging Conference: I’m Speaking? =-.
I almost wet myself laughing at the ‘I’m equally dazzling in both.’ comment. You are quite dazzling dahling.
I have a different take on the whole facebook for dudes thing tho. I think guys just aren’t genetically programmed to be as vocally/virtually supportive of each other as us women. For instance my husband and I can post the same exact thing and I’ll have 15 comments and he’ll have none.
So, perhaps that’s the issue in his case. Although, I’m not saying he’s still not social networkingly awkward or nothing.
Good point. It’s got to be a combination of the two. Weighing more heavily on the social networkingly awkward side. :)
LOL I get so annoyed with the abstract thoughts, movie (and song) quotes, and inside jokes. I love that you totally called him out on your blog though!!
.-= Kmama´s last blog ..Just Dance- Bebe =-.
Maybe you could write him his own personal tutorial.
my husband and I sit side-by-side and communicate via Facebook. :-) Not all men are FB incompetents. He’s got a great sense of online humor.
So funny! And while I can’t say my husband doesn’t do well with social media, my sister and I have a friend who we always say “needs a facebook tutor”. She comments in the wrong places and always seems to reply to someone else in her own status. I love her to death, but she needs help!
Holy crap this is funny! My husband is totally suckage at Facebook. (Which is why I didn’t comment on this post on Facebook.) He bitches when no one comments on his updates. And then bitches when people comment on mine. WTF? He wonders why I have more friends (duh? blog?) and then leaves Facebook for weeks at a time and again wonders why no one comments. DUDE. I have no words. Err… actually, I have a lot of words I just don’t tell HIM. hehehe
.-= JenniferG´s last blog ..Blogging Is Making Me Fat =-.
I loved this post! And I can totally relate… Even though he’s a gen yer and should have a fairly firm grasp on this technology business, my husband is the one that can’t quite figure it all out. “Where did (insert facebook feature here) go?!” is a common thing to hear in our household.
But have faith… at least your husband doesn’t respond to his own updates when nobody else does!
Cause mine does.
Awful.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..An Open Letter to My Wii Fit =-.
Ha! He responds to his own updates? That’s awesome.
I will have to log on to hook him up with some comments.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..Downward dog anyone? =-.
Too funny! Sadly, I cannot judge. My DH is on FB, and I am not. I’m afraid to know what he’s posting. Embarrassing comments I’m sure.
Oh, and yes, judging from that portrait drawn by your daughter, you are defnitely dazzling in both. :)
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Slide Show Sunday =-.
LOL, if you ever meet me you will be sorely disappointed. Big breasts are not a quality I can claim. No idea where on earth those came from!!
HA! I’m thinking your hubs and I are long lost siblings.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..church is fun =-.
Crack me UP! Your honesty is refreshing. I have to admit though, I love that kind of FB friend. A sarcastic comment here and a vague blurb there keeps it interesting IMO! Best tool ever – the “hide” option. Like for the “friend” whose status update crrrrazy! Shouldn’t there be a daily max post limit in some cases? I don’t want to know what someone ate for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner! Fun post!
My husband is fine on facebook. I cringe most at my sister. She’s one of those “Jane Smith thinks life is depressing, when does the sun shine through the clouds?” kind of people with her status updates and everyone freaks out and wants to know what’s wrong and she’ll be like “Oh there’s a crack in my car windshield from a rock hitting it.” or something equally stupid. But always the vague attention-getting comments.
.-= Jensational´s last blog ..At the courthouse =-.
Oh, I have a few of those, too. Gag me.
ummm so i almost died when you implied that your husband is a FB a-hole. *bwahahaha!* i love it when women know their husbands love them so much that they won’t care if they tell the whole world that they don’t know jack about jack. thanks for the laugh.
.-= alexis´s last blog ..giveaway: just ’cause i love you =-.
I’ve determined that Facebook is no place for me, the wife keeps everyone informed. Hell, even my friends respond to her updates over mine.
.-= Chris @ CleverFather´s last blog ..Kids are like mint cars =-.
Hysterical!
My husband doesn’t even have a Facebook account! WHAT?!
He does love to feed me topics for my blog… I keep telling him to start his own blog and leave my blog alone!
.-= Sophia’s Mom aka The Wannabe WAHM´s last blog ..Looking to Re-Enter the Workplace? =-.
Well. Unfortunately, we just can’t all be as awesome as you. Lo as we may try!
;)
.-= BlissfulBabe´s last blog ..Cute N Crafty For Easter! =-.
I’ve got tears in my eyes from laughing at this.
That is funny and I think we may be married to the same man. My hubby latest thing on facebook is putting up these bizzare Jack Handy quotes. The ones that used to be on Saturday Night Live. Some are funny but others are like hmmmmm. And if you don’t know who Jack Handy is your more like WTF! hahahh
.-= This Mama Works It!´s last blog ..My Reasons For Not Starting a Business =-.
Ooh, I love that adjective: “dazzling.” I’m going to call myself that from now on.
As far as facebook goes, I usually only “hide” people who post way too often or have overtly insulting religious messages. But maybe that just means I don’t have any friends like your husband. :)
.-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..Spill It!: The Evolution of an Interfaith Family =-.
It used to make my husband crazy that I was on Facebook. He was all worried that I was over-sharing information about our kids, our marriage, etc.
Then, I started a blog. And now Facebook is the LEAST of his worries.
.-= Cindy S´s last blog ..Bust that Dust, Baby =-.
I think I’d take facebook faux pas over my husband’s FB voyeurism. He’s on it – more than you’d think considering he’s been on for about a year and has yet to update his status. He has an account because I was sick of him looking over my shoulder asking for updates on his friends… I forced it on him – but yet I still feel he’s still only looking over shoulders. OH well!
.-= guarros´s last blog ..L: March 2010 =-.
Your hubby should go on those friends’ walls who aren’t responding and just start posting there. Then he can check a million times a day to see what reaction he got. Or not.
There is truly a lot to be said about being more interesting in person.
.-= Teri´s last blog ..Thank You Sir, May I Have Another? =-.
I wish I was equally dazzling in both real life and on line. The truth is: on line I’m hilarious and social! IRL I’m boring and timid.
Your hubby sounds kinda like mine. He is addicted to facebook. Just became a member like a month ago (after the purchase of his I Phone which he now sleeps with). I think I’m going to log into his facebook account and deactivate it- shortly after I throw his I Phone in the garbage.
I can’t get over your last line. I love you, Jill. You are my hero. Unlike you, though, I am much more interesting online. I am the social reject in real life.
Truthfully, I’m being too hard on myself. I’m really not that bad IRL. And I’m really not that great online, either. ;)
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Mom’s Most Wanted Accessory – An Extra Set of Hands =-.
Oh, puh-lease, I am hardly dazzling in real life. And YOU are way too hard on yourself!!!
Oh, that was so perfectly written and hilarious! Hurts that it’s so funny cuz it sounds like my husband talking about me.
Loved this, can’t wait to show him. Fantastic post…made my morning that much happier…
Hubby is antifacebookii or anything like that. THANK GOD! A few times he’s wanted to respond to something I’m laughing at and it’s so horrible I actually had bad smell face. I’m so glad I met him before social media. Some guys give bad facebook.
.-= Karen at French Skinny´s last blog ..Joyeux Dimanche (Happy Sunday) =-.
It could be far worse. For example: your husband might get friend requests from female co-workers that enjoying flaunting their near to naked titties (did I spell that correctly?) while photographing themselves groping one another like they are 16 year old girls posing for a MySpace Page.
And you should know by now, men can’t multi-task. It’s physiologically impossible. There is simply no possible way they could successfully pull off bedazzlement in both real life and online. :)
My husband has this quote on his facebook profile page:
“stop it. You’re not doing anything right.” – alex about my facebook skills
Because it’s TRUE.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..Left Begins With O =-.
What a funny post!
I know exactly the kind of person your husband is on facebook, and i too would probably “hide” him, sorry I’m sure he’s a great guy in real life though!
.-= Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Honoring the Fallen, Tribute Art for fallen soldiers =-.
yeah, i’m one of those guys who hide them when i dont get them. sorry.
and i’m sure i’m more interesting online. sad, i know.
.-= cheri´s last blog ..my chocolate =-.
haha.. you are equally dazzling! … but its not easy being so perfect:) ha
My husband is the same way on twitter- he complains a lot about not having followers on twitter but he rarely responds to other people– even when they reply to him. lol… He’ll post something he thinks is so funny- and get no response– and get all disapointed.
MEN.
.-= Complicated Mama´s last blog ..“You were more attractive blonde”…and other tactless things people say =-.
My husband does’nt know how to turn on the laptop and I like it that way
Dazzling in both… you are woman of you are :)
.-= Vodka Logic´s last blog ..Friday 55 =-.
Hilarious! My hubs gave in and got himself a FB page when he saw our daughter’s Farmville. Sad to say that is the ONLY reason he set up his FB. He takes it very seriously, too. There is a tablet on his nightstand with lists of crops, what it costs to plant them, their monetary value when harvested, which has the better profit margin, etc. He’s dying for more neighbors in order to expand the size of his petite, pixelated plantation, yet he despises having to go in search of ‘friends’ who ‘farm’. He’d much rather spend his online time weeding, plowing, planting…well, you know. When he actually posts a status update, we all nearly faint!
.-= kelli´s last blog ..Dragons, Chocolates and Inlaws =-.
No need for humility since it’s all true, right?!!
Not like Delila? You as good in person as you are online! That posting still makes me laugh!
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Spring Break? =-.
LOL, that’s right! You have one impressive memory!
My husband hovers over me when I’m on FB. It’s all I can do not to smack him on the forehead. Get yer own damn account and quit telling me to write a comment for you! Sometimes, he likes to tap dance on my last nerve and tell me to scroll through pictures of his friends that he asked me to friend. Then again, who’s the bigger asshole – him or me who’s scrolling through the damn pictures for him?
.-= Enya´s last blog ..Onigiri – Japanese Rice Balls =-.
Aww! I’ll be his Facebook friend and respond to his awkwardness.
My hubby doesn’t understand Facebook at all. He doesn’t like it – thinks it’s stupid and doesn’t understand why I’m on there. I’m “friends” with his brother & sister, so I tell him it’s my way to “stay in touch with his family” :) Whatever shuts him up….
.-= Momma Drama´s last blog ..The Level Headed One =-.
Maybe it is something in the male genetic makeup because my husband is the same. He tried a couple times but gave up. The problem is he gets jealous because I use Facebook and Twitter and have some “friends”. I gave up trying to help him!
.-= EllieB´s last blog ..Business2Blogger =-.
I actually managed to make myself jealous of my wife when we both posted updates announcing we were expecting twins. You see, she got 32 Likes and 57 comments responses to her post and I only got 29 Likes and 44 comments, even though I have 627 Facebook friends and Amanda only has 512. Then I remembered … she’s the one actually having the babies.
She’s always going to have that to hold over me.
I shouldn’t be mad at her. I should be mad at my other 554 Facebook friends.
.-= Noah´s last blog ..Fetus News for March 28, 2010 =-.
ha ha… my husband is the same way but on Craigslist. It all started when I told him I bet we can sell that boat sitting in our yard on Craigslist. He thought I was insane, and then we sold the boat, and a dump truck, and a bulldozer. Now he is always buried in craigslist, cussing people for writing “delete” in their title instead of just deleting the post. Complaining that people are breaking the rules etc etc. It’s quite funny to me, but I’m sure everyone else hates him. lol
.-= Jackie Lee´s last blog ..Start Your Own Food Revolution =-.
My husband refuses to join Facebook and thinks it’s silly (his arguments are, “If I wanted to keep in touch with someone, I’d send them an e-mail” or “Why do I need to know if someone is clipping their toenails.”) Considering he can barely check his e-mail, perhaps it’s for the best.
.-= Denise´s last blog ..The Verdict On Junk Food =-.
My husband threatens to join FB, but I think it would be hilasterous. I don’t think he has quite the skills either, plus I think he is content with hours upon hours of Reddit.
.-= Bethany´s last blog ..From YoTweeps to NoQuacks =-.
Oh this cracks me up because my hubby is the same way! His commenting skills are intact but his profile updates go something like this:
“1 of 7″ (translation: he just passed test 1 of 7 tests to become a licensed architect)
“happening” (translation: we were watching the movie The Happening)
“act out like ya mean it” (translation: ?????)
.-= Melissa (adventuroo)´s last blog ..The Little Toy that Made Me Cry =-.
Have you tried to tell him? Maybe if you break it to him gently? Poor guy. Getting his feelings hurt through FB…
.-= liz´s last blog ..D.I.Y. Shoe Store =-.
Well, he does read my blog… ;)
Should I feel badly that I get the same reaction on FB? :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..{The Tale in Which this Mama saw Red, Part II} =-.
HA! you totally out rock him in social media… but sometimes those men like your husband… are just funny because they DON’T make sense you know?
.-= Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog ..Wardrobe Malpractice =-.
Oh. My. God. I don’t know how – maybe in a parallel universe or something – but we are married to the exact same man. Scary!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..One Hand On My Keyboard And The Other Is Giving A High Five =-.
Favorite friends? I don’t have any of those. Does that make me cool or totally not.
Are we married to the same man? Should we exchange photos to be sure? ;-)
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Eulogy =-.
Ha! I feel the same way about my husband’s tweeting. I follow too many people to even notice his tweets, though. Thankfully.
-Aimee
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Mental Monday: (Kind Of) Great Expectations =-.
At least he has the balls to have a Facebook account. G refuses on grounds of ‘stupidity’ and time suckage yet will repeatedly search for updates on his friends on MY account. And is known for friending on MY account. He once friended a long lost cousin of his who had just gotten released from Rahway Prison! Like I need that guy in my network! I quietly de-friended and still pray he never notices…
http://www.imgonnakillhim.com
My husband can barely type — he doesn’t understand any of the social media outlets. If he didn’t know about my blog, then I could write crap about him but he DOES know how to find that!!
.-= Sara — The Football Wife´s last blog ..He Said “Gifted” =-.
Love it!
How did I not find your blog til now? (uh, perhaps because I forgot to have children?) In a parallel universe – London, to be precise – there is another Jill, also from Eastern European/Jewish descent (or @ least on my mom’s side, which is the one that counts).. I can so relate, my (English, WASP) husband doesn’t do any of that, either. I didn’t even think he did facebook, until I realised he had about 12 friends (including one of mine) and he hadn’t friended me!! (he has, now).
That said, maybe I’m lucky: he doesn’t do anything annoying, he doesn’t even bother with it. His wall is squeaky clean, and I’m sure he hasn’t soiled anyone else’s. He uses email, tho, and txts & talks on the phone. He IS a social animal, just one from the late 20th century.
My pet peeve: people who barely know you, who have friended you, and then start ‘liking’ every freaking thing you do. That happened to me, I felt like the guy was stalking me. I finally told him he was freaking me out & guess what: he’s moved on.
Speaking of, sorry to post so long, but I really do like your blog. Adding it to my roll. If you want to see what your life would be like if you a)didn’t give birth and b)moved to London:
http://streetstylelondon.blogspot.com/
What a great blog. But I guess you know that already! Must run: said husband is calling for his dinner (he doesn’t cook, either).
.-= jill´s last blog ..indecision =-.
No way! That’s MY husband, too! He just changed his profile pic to Special Agent Oso, for instance. What the…? I do not understand his attraction to FB. I am so much more of a Twitter girl.
.-= Mom2Miles´s last blog ..The Cure for Teen Pregnancy =-.
At least he doesn’t post song lyrics as status updates.
Does he? Oh god, he doesn’t, does he?
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Another Kind Of Birthday =-.
Why, yes. Yes, he does.
ok…not offend, but your husband on FB would annoy me, too. I cannot stand the updates that have nothing to say, or worse, make no sense to the average “friend.”
On another note, can you really hide updates from certain ppl? oh…how I would LOVE to hide the ppl who just constantly update about absolutely nothing. Please, please, please – how do I hide them??
LOL, If you hover over someone’s status, to the right of it, a hide button pops up. Just click and they are hidden!
Well, you know what they say about opposites attract. Clearly, it’s definitely true now.
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Hey Hey Old Bay! =-.
When I do something similar every now and then, a friend tells me I am “vaguebooking” which I think is a fantastic term, and sounds like it sums your husband’s facebook behavior up quite well.
.-= Rachael´s last blog ..Sneak Peak – Baby N =-.
yeah you are, babe :-) And I am so disappointed that I won’t get to see you this summer :-( I miss you!
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..For my fellow bloggers… on this side of the pond =-.
Poor Mr. Scary Mommy! He need to start reading his wife’s social networking how to’s.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Hell JUST Froze Over… =-.
Comments on this entry are closed.