Watch this family deal with a live rat in their house and try not to die laughing
If you’ve ever had an outdoor cat as a pet, chances are you’re pretty familiar with the “presents” they leave for you to find outside. And of course, “present” is just a polite way of saying “bloody, pulpy carcass of something that was possibly once a chipmunk or bird.”
But sometimes, those presents aren’t left outside. Sometimes cats want their families to be just as enthralled with their prey as they are — take Broccoli the cat, for instance. Who decided to bring his latest toy in for everyone to see.
His toy? A very large, very alive, very long-tailed… rat.
Broccoli’s mom, Jessica Gottlieb, captured the entire experience on video and shared it in a post titled, “I’m going to set my house on fire.” And once you see the size of that rat — whom, it bears repeating, is very much alive — you’ll agree there’s really no other solution but arson.
THAT THICK-ASS TAIL WILL HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS.
The video itself is hysterical, because while the entire family is up in arms about this enormous vermin being let loose in the house (totally justified in that, btw) Broccoli is just like “yeah, whatever, this is my new toy now.”
The desperate pleas of “Broccoli. Broccoli! BROCCOLI!!!!” by Gottlieb herself are perhaps the best part. Because, as anyone who has ever owned a cat will tell you, they do not listen. They give exactly zero shits about being summoned or scolded or ordered around. So, naturally, when Gottlieb shouted “DO NOT GO UPSTAIRS” — Broccoli didn’t give AF.
You’ll want to turn up the sound for: “OH MY GOD THE RAT IS FUCKING ALIVE!” And again at Gottlieb’s dismay when Broccoli bored of his new toy: “OH MY GOD THE CAT JUST LOST INTEREST IN IT, MOTHERFUCKER!”
BRB, dying forever. Dying faster than that damn rat, anyway.
The cat proudly carted Mega Rat all the way upstairs to toy around with his new prize. Except Mega Rat was smarter and way more alive than most cats’ prey. Mega Rat didn’t come to play.
Nope. Mega Rat cunningly escaped the cat’s clutches and scurried around the nooks and crannies of the Gottlieb house. FOR 36 HOURS.
In a follow-up blog post, Gottlieb (who admitted her family isn’t “great” with vermin) detailed the exhausting lengths they had to go through to find this determined rat.
“We sealed off the bedroom door. My son slept in my daughter’s bedroom and my daughter and I shared a bed the first night,” she writes.
OMG. What do you mean, “the first night??!” LORD HAVE MERCY. They kept the cat in the room with the rat, hoping she’d be effective in doing her thing this time.
“When we awoke and there was no dead rat we decided to open the door and I ran to the hardware store for snap traps.” Which, yeah, gross. But after 36 hours of being held hostage by Mega Rat, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Another restless night’s sleep and a Rat Zapper later, the hostage crisis had resolved itself and the Gottlieb family was finally free.
“This morning I woke up to a red light blinking on the Rat Zapper, and the best news was that Mr. G was home and it was his turn to deal with the rat,” she writes.
She left to go play tennis and when she came back, well, RIP Mega Rat. It’s been real.