Friends, I’ve been feeling a little…well, stressed lately. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I think we’re all feeling a little fed up and agitated right now. In fact, some days we’re downright ragey.
Personally, I’ve had an eye twitch for approximately nine months now. No joke. My jeans don’t fit anymore because of all the stress eating that’s been going on. And I’ve run out of acronyms like FTS and SMDH and WTAF to express my frustration with the state of affairs right now.
So, what’s causing this collective angst?
Well, it’s any number of things, my friends. We’re fed up with the horrible news about our Tweeter in Chief, or the shit ton of men who can’t seem to figure out how to both have a penis and be a decent human being at the same time.
We’re fed up with oblivious parents who are blissfully unaware that there are other people living in this world. We are fed up with all the shaming and judging. We’re fed up with assholes in the comments sections, and the ignorant shit people share on Facebook.
We’re just fed the fuck up.
I don’t know about you, but lately I find myself muttering to myself things like “What the actual fuck?” And “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” And “Fuck this shit.” Basically I’m swearing a hell of a lot more often these days because there are just no other words for the bullshit and sad state of affairs in the world. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt, assume good intentions, and let shit go. But sometimes the nastiness and stupidity is just too much.
Here are a few of the massive turds of bullshit causing our collective bloat and fed-the-fuck-up-ness these days:
News Headlines That Make Us Weep
I generally believe that most people are mostly good most of the time. I’m typically a Pollyanna-ish optimist and see the world as a beautiful place. Some might think I’m just a happy-hand-holding-Kumbaya-singing-naïve-optimistic idealist. Others might say I’m a naïve idiot. Po-ta-to, po-tah-to.
Regardless of whether I’m an optimist or an idiot, I seriously feel like I’m living in the Upside Down lately. What the ever-loving fuck is happening?! The world seems hell-bent on destroying any ounce of optimism I have left. Honestly, I can’t turn on the news these days without crumbling into a puddle of tears. My desire to be an informed citizen is currently at odds with my desire for my head not to explode or spend all day sobbing in the fetal position. The struggle is real, folks.
Nastiness on the Internet
I’m all for spirited debate and differences of opinion, but just one glance at the comments sections these days makes me want to punch a wall, vomit, pour a stiff drink — or all of the above.
It’s coming from all sides, people. My kids are whining about homework and chores around the house. Parents are whining about the non-organic snacks at Junior’s 30-minute soccer practice. And Becky from the cubicle down the hall is whining about white guilt with her whataboutism. Stop it, Becky. STOP IT.
It’s like we’re caught in an endless loop of Caillou episodes. Is there an essential oil that can help? I’ll check the Facebook group I was just added to without anyone asking me to join.
Following close behind the whining, comes the fighting. If we aren’t breaking up fights between our kids about who got more screen time or whose turn it is to take out the garbage, we have to deal with neighbors fighting about holiday lights that go up to early or stay up too long. Enough already! Can’t we all just get along, or at least ignore one another?
Racist, Homophobic, Sexist Bigots
Be gone, assholes. BE GONE.
Cleaning Up Other People’s Shit
Are those dirty socks in the middle of the living room invisible to everyone but me? How about the dishes piled in the sink? Do you not notice the puddle of piss on the toilet seat? Is that your grocery cart you left in the middle of the freaking parking lot? Did you not see the dog that you are walking take a giant poop in front of my house? Clean up after yourselves, people!
The older I get, the more I realize that we never really escape the high school bullshit; it just changes. Queen bees, cliques, and drama is all still there. Ladies, come on! Enough with the internalized misogyny and competitiveness. Being a woman is hard enough as it is — what with all the hats we’re wearing, balls we’re juggling, and uncomfortable bras we’re wearing — let’s not add to the challenges by picking at each other. We need to be lifting each other up, not cutting each other down at every turn.
Stupid AF Shit
Listen, people, common sense gun legislation does not mean people want to take all your guns. Airplane contrails are not some kind of government mind control. Vaccines do not cause autism. And there is no second coming of Jesus this Friday. Stop it. Just stop it. We are all dumber for having listened to this nonsense.
Like I said, we’re all feeling a little twitchy and agitated lately. We’re bloated on bullshit. Perhaps we could all benefit from a good cleanse to get rid of the asshatishness and dumbfuckery in the air? I’m not talking about the kind that involves drinking 275 ounces of green juice a day and eating lemons rubbed in turmeric for two weeks. That sounds freaking awful.
No, the kind of cleanse I’m talking about basically involves a collective agreement to cut the shit and start acting like decent people with a modicum of manners and common sense.
That shouldn’t be that hard, right?