Facebook Friends


Facebook is an amazing phenomenon. It has allowed me to reconnect with countless old friends and meet family members I never knew existed. It bridges the distance between states, countries and time zones and makes staying in touch a breeze. Over the summer, I attended a reunion of my grade school class, most of whom I hadn’t seen in close to twenty years. It was wonderful to catch up, swap stories and meet each other’s children. Facebook makes it a breeze to share stories, introduce new babies and snoop on old crushes. It’s pretty cool thing.

Except sometimes, it’s not. Like, what about those friends you actually wanted to lose touch with? If you really wanted to maintain a relationship, wouldn’t you have?* Some faces should remain just where you left them, in the past. With social media these days it’s almost impossible to do that. And then, there are the faces that you forget altogether. A few years back, I deleted my MySpace account because, for the life of me, I could not remember this girl who supposedly was a good friend of mine. She talked about our late night talks and classes together and I had absolutely no idea who she was. So, I deleted my account rather than deal with the situation. She has yet to track me down on Facebook, but I’m waiting.

My very first Facebook friend request was from a super sweet girl who I went to college with. At the time, I had been dealing with some major e-mail spam and was suspicious of a last name I did not know, and the picture was way too small to recognize. So I declined her request. And then, to make matters worse, I blocked her. Later, I saw her on my husband’s page and felt like an idiot. (Duh, Jill, he said, She got married and changed her name. Whoops.) After that, I became more liberal about accepting invitations, which has resulted in friends who I literally do not know. We may have friends in common or I know their spouse, but have no idea who they are. What’s the point of having friends like that?

Most of the applications make no sense to me. Scrabble, I get. Trivia, ok. But personally, I’ve never liked being pelted with tomatoes or eggs. If someone presents me with flowers or cupcakes I want them to be real and I have a hard enough time accessorising myself without worrying about how glitzy my page looks. It’s all just so stresful!

So, I try to limit my Facebook presence; between the applications, the games, the photos and the chats, one could waste days there. It’s a major time sucker and I, for one, just don’t have the time for that. I’m way too busy wasting time here.

*If we are Facebookfriends, this does not apply to YOU. I adore YOU and am thrilled to be back in touch. This is about all of those other people, but most definitely, positively not YOU. Kisses!


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  1. 1

    Mom Taxi Julie says

    So so true, I have a ton of friends on Facebook now. I think I have my whole elementry school and most of my Jr. High and High School.

    Mom Taxi Julie’s last blog post..Just a little farther

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  2. 2

    DrZibbs says

    Which is why I only have blogger friends on Facebook.

    Want to be friends? I’m Jim Zibbs.

    DrZibbs’s last blog post..Lady Bug Picnic on Sesame Street. Nice Kazoo and Jews Harp Playing.

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  3. 3

    T Rex Mom says

    Great flashback – I enjoy reading what people are up to via facebook but the folks that update a dozen times a day I have to block – it fills up my entire page. I call them “crackbook addicts”.

    T Rex Mom’s last blog post..My First Award…

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  4. 4

    Tiffany says

    Ugh, so agree! I have a FB…but only because some of my friends who I wanted to stay in touch with were deleting their MySpace accounts and moving to FB. I hate FB.

    I recently got a string of Friend requests from some girls I went to Catholic School with. (We weren’t Catholic, but that was the only good private school around, and I had caused too much trouble…so mom sent me there!). Anywhoo, these girls were like “mean girls” back in the day. Made my life hell. Now they’re all “OMG Tiffany how are you what cute kids so nice to find you”. Yea. Whatevs.

    Besides, I’m on twitter too much to deal with FB!

    Tiffany’s last blog post..Flashback Friday

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  5. 5

    Vic says

    That pic is so true of half the facebook requests I get. I have to admit, I pay very little attention to it these days. There’s more important things…

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  6. 6

    natasha the exile on Mom Street says

    I couldn’t agree more! I hate facebook (but lurve me some Twitter).

    I intentionally did not use my maiden name in my facebook profile specifically to keep people from my past IN my past where they BELONG.

    Got have to have been my friend in “real life” or the blogosphere in the past 6 years to find me. Quite satisfying, really.

    natasha the exile on Mom Street’s last blog post..Flashback Friday: word games

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  7. 7

    natasha the exile on Mom Street says

    Argh, why don’t you see typos in your comment until AFTER it’s posted?

    Off for what appears to be a much-needed second cup of coffee. Sigh.

    natasha the exile on Mom Street’s last blog post..Flashback Friday: word games

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  8. 8

    Kate Coveny Hood says

    One problem with FB is that once you pass a certain number of friends, it’s impossible to keep up with their updates. I have been pretty lucky in that I mainly have people I want to be in touch with on my Friends list – but there is always one or two people who would be better left in the past…

    I’ll post my Flashback Friday later this afternoon! It’s part two of last week’s post (I was into “the series” back in the olden days last summer)

    Kate Coveny Hood’s last blog post..I Cried Yesterday

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  9. 9

    Futureblackmail says

    Love this post.

    And what’s the deal with the plants – why am I always getting plants sent to me?!?!

    Futureblackmail’s last blog post..AND NOW IT’S A HABIT

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  10. 10

    dawn says

    I like facebook to vent and stay in touch with my cali friends. Twitter, I don’t know why, but I’m growing to hate it. I think because it takes forever to load or it’s over capacity. Why do people go to it, still, with so many problems? I dunno.

    dawn’s last blog post..tropical chicken salad

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  11. 11

    christy says

    I have ignored quite a few requests too…and recently I went through my school and work histories mentally, and realized I have gotten back in touch with just about every person I would ever want to. So I deleted my maiden name from my facebook profile, and now the only people who can find me are recent friends…it’s like a weight is off my shoulders. I don’t have to ignore those non-friend friend requests any more!

    christy’s last blog post..Dare to be Remarkable

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  12. 12

    Sam_I_Am says

    I think the whole app thing has gotten out of control. I was on Myspace waaaaaaayyyyyy before it was cool and I loved it then, like 8 years ago. Then they got out of control with all the apps and I log in long enough to check my messages every once in awhile. I’m a horrible penpal though, so without Facebook, I’d hardly talk to most of my college friends.

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  13. 13

    Ryan Ashley Scott says

    Amen! I like the idea of keeping in distant touch, but those stupid apps drive me crazy. I delete them, they come back. What is the point of any of them? This is why I’d much rather tweet. Simple, short, nothing fancy.

    Stupid apps… grumble, grumble.

    Ryan Ashley Scott’s last blog post..Fx4: From My Mom

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  14. 14

    Former Fat Chick says

    My rule of thumb is if it’s a guy I don;t know then I delete them immediatly, if it a girl and we have freinds in common I am more inclined to accept ans then figure out how I know them. I have gotten creppy e-mail: You are so pretty, I would love to meet you…etc…I even got one in Italian! haha

    Former Fat Chick’s last blog post..FAT ME, you can’t come back!

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  15. 15

    Tiaras & Tantrums says

    oh girlie – facebook – all kinds of nonsense and trouble huge blathering on the radio this morning – “40% of married couples in therapy are there b/c of facebook” wth?? See why I deleted my personal account

    Tiaras & Tantrums’s last blog post..I Feel Pretty

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  16. 16

    Denise says

    I like FB in that it has put me in contact with so many others that I haven’t talked to in years. The drawbacks are the strangers and stalkers and people that just want to up th eamount of friends they have. I know of two people that had stalkers. My first friend request was from a stranger. He tried maybe three times to befriend me. Finally I discovered how to block someone. My rule is no one that I don’t know somehow; and rarely any work people. I have tried to talk to the majority of people on my FB or we shouldn’t be friends. I admit I have acepted a few that I never really knew; only knew of. I’m getting close ot have communicating with almost everyone in some way. I do have to admit I absolutely love the occasional gift from the 80s. They always make me smile!

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  17. 17

    Loukia says

    Okay, I’m so not requesting you as a friend of facebook for fear of rejection! ;)
    I used to be obsessed with facebook, but now only go on a few times a day. Oh, GOD… if ‘a few times a day’ means having my habit under control, I was really addicted! Anyway, I have no problem not accepting friend requests. I also do a ‘clean sweep’ every so often and delete people who are there for no reason at all. Like, they just added me to incrase their numbers or whatever, but never comment on my pictures, or talk to me. That’s pretty useless. Some people I totally want to delete, but am scared to see them in public because I’d feed bad! It’s a funny game, facebook is… I much prefer blogging! ;) And Twitter.

    Loukia’s last blog post..The best season finale… ever!

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  18. 18

    Leslie says

    Seriuosly, the applications alone are enough to make you crazy. I don’t know what’s up with the strange friend requests, I just don’t answer them back. I don’t need that. If I knew ya, was friends with ya, it’s all good. Other than that, don’t bother with it. :) Great idea on this flashback friday. Hope you have a great one!

    Leslie’s last blog post..It’s Friday! Yay?

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  19. 19

    Jackie says

    I am so on board with this facebook friend request crap. I think people do it just to nose into your bidnaz and just generally get under your skin…you know like they did back in high school when you hated each other…

    Jackie’s last blog post..Weigh in

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  20. 20

    ViolinMama says

    I hear you!!! I love the people I’ve found, and I can accept the classmates I have on there too (because I can remember them for the most part) but the freaky part is the old guy I used to babysit for who found me (sorry…FREAKY….it’s been 20 years!!) etc. I’m right there with you!!!

    Great Flashback!!!!

    ViolinMama’s last blog post..Friday Five and Flashback Fridays!

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