Having more than one kid means your family has siblings. Both a blessing and a curse, they can be built-in best friends and also, natural enemies. But when they do decide to buddy up, it’s usually to make your life a living hell. Because of course it is.
They fight. They cry. You referee. You cry. And just when you think you can’t take it anymore, they make up and are BFFs again for a few minutes and you wonder what all the fuss was about. Like childbirth, it’s easy to forget the pain of how crazy your kids can make you when they join forces. Luckily, the funny parents of Twitter are here to make you laugh about the scariest truths of life with siblings.
1. This is so real.
“Please go play with your brother. That’s basically the reason we had him.”
— Ramblin’ Mama (@ramblinma) May 2, 2016
Once you get through the torture of the baby years, you have a couple of kids who should be able to occupy each other. This was literally the whole point of having another kid, so yes, please go play with your brother. I got like 17 extra stretch marks so I could revel in this moment. Don’t ruin this.
2. As one does.
“When the baby comes out, I’m gonna call him ‘Toilet.'”
– My 5yo, naming his little brother
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 25, 2015
The beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or an honest one, at least.
3. It’s the little things.
Nothing ignites sibling rivalry quite like buttons on an elevator.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 24, 2015
Your kids might blow past what seem like huge obstacles in their relationship only to have a literally earth-shattering fight over who gets to press the “enter” key when you swipe your debit card at the grocery store. This is the stuff sibling fights are made of. Death by a thousand cuts.
4. It’s a training ground for marriage.
I know 3 will be a great husband one day because when his baby sister cries or yells, he literally gives her whatever she wants.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) November 5, 2015
My husband and I often marvel at how our son and daughter sound like a miniature married couple. They bicker. They compromise. They fight. They make up. And yes, giving in to make the other shut the hell up is sometimes part of it.
5. Delegating like a boss.
I gave my 5yr old his first official chore and allowance yesterday and already this morning he taught his 2yr old sister to do the chore.
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) April 2, 2016
It might sound cruel, but this is a great way to gauge which kid will put you in a nursing home instead of caring for you themselves. Just saying.
6. Mom in the making.
The 9yo just said to her little brothers, “Why don’t we just stop talking?” and now I know she’ll be a great mother someday.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) April 27, 2016
This kid. This kid gets it. Everybody shhhhh, mommy has a headache.
7. Why else did we have them?
My parenting style can best be described as “Go help your sister.”
— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) November 21, 2015
Once the oldest hits a certain age, your job is basically done. Dispatch them for every possible reason — shoe tying, snack fetching, homework help — and then, sit back and relax. You’ve earned it.
8. Sincere as can be.
My Parenting Memoir: “Apologize to Your Sister.”
— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) September 23, 2015
Is it still an apology if you have to beg them 17 times in a row to do it? Moreover, do we care? It’s so robotic after a while. It can go on our Greatest Hits CD along with “because I said so” and “I’m counting to 3.”
9. Uniting against a common enemy.
8yo: Who’s your favorite villain?
8yo & 10yo: (laughs)
Me: I can hear you, ya know.
8yo & 10yo: (laughs forever)
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) July 21, 2015
The enemy is you, of course. But whatever. At least they’re not fighting each other for a few minutes.
10. Hypocritical much?
“Stop hitting me!”
– kid who is hitting their sibling
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 27, 2015
It’s like when we yell at our kids to stop yelling. It makes no sense, but we keep that shit up.
11. The empathy only goes so far.
Me: “Everything ok?”
Me: “Why is your sister crying?”
8: “I don’t know. It’s not because of me so I didn’t ask.”
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) October 4, 2015
Their capacity for caring has its limits. We really can’t ask for much more.
12. This says it all.
Dad: Do you love your little sister?
10yo: About 4.5.
Dad: No, it’s not on a scale of 1 to10.
10yo: That was a scale of 1 to 100.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) September 27, 2014
Siblings in a nutshell. And we wouldn’t trade it for the world.