Sara is a former art teacher turned SAHM who (sporadically) blogs about her life over at Sara Plays House. Her hobbies include messy art projects, driving children to and fro, and the occasional (frequent) mom’s night out. She also enjoys convincing her husband that he is not, in fact, a ninja. Sara also dabbles in cake decorating so as to appear domestic to the untrained eye.
I tend to be very outspoken when it comes to gay rights. When I voice these opinions to other people, the inevitable questions roll in. ”Why do you care so much? You’re a married heterosexual woman. What do gay rights have to do with you?” There is a stock answer, of course. I can say that I want my gay and lesbian friends to have the same rights that I do. I can say that’s it simply the right thing to do. Both of those statements would be truthful. But if I really delve into my true feelings, the answer is a bit more selfish.
Because my daughters could be gay.
Avery sure does love those dinosaurs! And how about Zoe and her fascination with all things cars? Baby dolls and Barbies are neglected in this house in favor of trains and building blocks. Sure, I’m grasping at stereotypes here, but the truth of the matter is–I don’t know who they’ll love when they’re capable of falling in love. Regardless of what some folks would say, this is one part of their development I have absolutely no control over. I’m okay with that.
What I’m not okay with is knowing that some day my daughters may not have the same rights as others based simply on whom they love. This is not okay. This is not right. And this is why I care so deeply about gay rights.
If my daughters want to fight and possibly die for their country, they should be allowed to. As a mother, I would never want them in harm’s way. But when your child comes to you and tells you that THIS is what they want to do and they’re very passionate about it, how can one look them in the eye and say, “Sorry, sweetie, but if you want to do that you will have to deny everything that makes you you. Are you willing to do that and risk your life at the same time?” I am constantly telling my girls that they are perfect as they are, quirks and all. That is not something I want to backpedal on later in life.
If one of my daughters wants to marry a woman, by golly I want to plan the biggest, fattest, gayest wedding ever. And I want it to be legal in all fifty states. If I’m going to go to that much trouble with caterers and dance halls and big poofy dresses (Or fasionable women’s tuxes, as the case may be) then I want some validation for that. I want my daughter to be able to shout it from the rooftops that THIS is her wife! And they’re going to live happily ever after! And it’s legal! Because that’s what all married couples should be able to do.
If that daughter then decided that she and her lovely wife want to adopt a baby, then Lord help the person that stands in the way of me and my potential grandchild. It will never make sense to me how adoptions can be denied in this country because the adopting family is non-traditional. What’s traditional anyway? Can you describe a traditional marriage right now? Every family is different, heterosexual or otherwise. It should only be the capacity to love that determines a family’s worth as an adoptive family. Period. I have (potential) grandchildren to spoil and I will not be denied.
Selfish? Yes. My passion for gay rights has everything to do with insuring my daughters’ happiness later in life. Of course, they will probably grow up and marry men just to spite their mama, but honestly, you just never know. What if they grow up to marry men, make beautiful grandchildren, and one of those grandchildren is gay? Do you see where I’m going with this?
Gay rights affect us all. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but somewhere along the line, it will become a Very Big Deal for you and your family, if it isn’t already.
I’m a heterosexual woman who cares deeply about gay rights. Because you just never know.
(And honestly, it is the right thing to do. No matter what your reasons may be, selfish or not.)
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It IS the right thing to do. No matter what the reasons are. Off to stumble your awesome post.
Allison @ Alli ‘n Son recently posted..I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
Woohoo! Absolutely. You said it much more eloquently than I and I agree wholeheartedly!
What the hell does anyone care what someone does in the bedroom? There are plenty of heterosexual activities I don’t wnat to know about either? What in the world does any of that have to do with love and ability to raise children?
It IS the right thing to do. Great post!
Daria recently posted..Do Step-Moms Count
a.flipping.men.
pamela dayton time recently posted..checking in
Yes. So, totally YES. I completely agree with you and I think about this almost every day. I’m also a hetero married woman who cares deeply about gay rights. Not just for my kids, but for everyone’s kids.
Marisa recently posted..antique cookie cutter ornament
I dont know if that is selfish–it is just thinking about PEOPLE rather than the general concept. I notice that people who claim to have a belief–whether it is being a bigot like some of my family, or anti-gay rights, etc–change their tune when it hits close to home. I say we hit everyone close to home if that is what it takes to get through to people that discrimination is never okay.
I too am a married heterosexual, and I have some gay friends, but it would not matter if I did not.
I’ve never thought of it this way, and I’m happy to have read your post. I definitely intend to speak up next time the issue is on the table. Thanks for the new outlook.
beckie & the grub recently posted..Date Night
I wish I had the courage to write something like this. I love this in more ways than one. Well said, momma!
Booyah’s Momma recently posted..Of Mice and Men
awesome. i too would do just about anything for my boys, so this all makes perfect sense to me.
Alexis recently posted..you can just call me cafe con leche
I LOVE this post. I wish I’d written this post, but I’ll settle for hosting it. :)
I’ve never believed in anything other than the right to be who you are and marry who you love. It just seems obvious.
But since I’ve become a mother? HELL NO, ain’t nobody going to tell MY child that they can’t choose whatever partner they want. And, even if it’s not my child, it will be my future niece or nephew or God-child or grandchild or whatever. And they deserve every.single.right that every heterosexual person has.
Moms who are anti-gay marriage– I would love your opinion on this. It’s one thing to take a political stand on an issue, but, if it were YOUR kid, would it be the same? Would you not want them to have the right to choose who they spend their lives with? Would you be ok saying it should not be legal? Would you be ok saying they don’t have the right to adopt? Or, serve open in the military, for that matter?
Help me understand, because I just don’t.
Really?? How about the Bible??
How about it? We humans like to pretend that we’re gods and push our beliefs onto others despite holding onto a belief that our god deals with that person at the end of their lives. It’s ridiculous and IMO, it’s going against my Biblical freewill (a proverbial my as I’m heterosexual but my blanket statement above applies to more than just same sex marriage).
Of course somebody would mention the bible. As a Christian, I’d like to remind you that not everybody is Christian. We live in a country with freedom of religion. You can be Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, Pagan, or any other thing you want to be.
And many of the christian religions do not believe that the bible as a book to be “literally” interpreted. If I may give you a quote from my all time favorite show:
“The West Wing: The Midterms (#2.3)” (2000)
President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important ’cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
Ahh, well said, sir.
This just goes to show how very ignorant people can be!!
AMAZING!!! Love that quote. Damn that show had some good writers.
Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? recently posted..Nana’s Coming Gulp
I’ve always said I have no problem with gays, but no way should vegetarians be allowed to marry.
Buahahahahaha! I was a vegetarian for eleven years and I miss being one, but it just wasn’t right for me anymore. This is funny!
Lauren recently posted..Stop Doing That You Little Punk!
I grew up in Northern California with more people being gay than I can even count. It’s what I grew up with, so I know nothing different, it was just normal. It IS normal. People like who they like – and I still don’t understand why it’s ever been an issue. And if it were my child? So awesome … because at least they found somebody to love … which is almost half the battle!
To: An Idle Dad – Rock on. LMAO
I completely agree with this. As a LILL (late in life lesbian), I’m completely in support of gay rights. Even before I discovered my ‘true path’ I was an advocate for gay rights. In actuality, the peoples’ rights to be who they are. It hurts me to know that others don’t acknowledge the basic human right to love, to exist, in their true form. If my sons turn out to be gay, who cares?? Why does it matter? If they’re straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered… whatever they are… I love them. I hate the fact that this is still an issue in our world. You love who you love.
Thank you for this post, while I am not someone that wants gay/lesbian/transgendered citizens of the world to be denied the right to marry I didn’t really support much the adoption. But with you sharing all your thoughts made me start thinking, yeap I want grandkids, no matter where and how they join my family I want my future children and future grandchildren to be happy. Of course grandchildren are not the only reason but your post made me start thinking about the big picture.
It really is the ‘big picture’ that matters. You love who you love. Between consenting adults, that’s all that matters. As long as children are in a loving and healthy atmosphere, they do well.
Amy Bliss recently posted..Me- Myself and I
As the mother of a gay daughter I loved your post!
It breaks my heart that alot of people in this country
don’t think my daughter is entitled to the same civil
liberties they have. Its America, everyone is suppose to
be equal. The constitution DOES NOT say, “you cannot
have the same civil liberties as everyone else IF we are
offended by you.”
Almost forgot, I loved the comment from An Idle Dad! LOL!
I totally relate to you, my son (only 5) is showing rarther major signs of being gay, I’m cool wit that, and if he it saves me the shock of him comeing home one day saying he’s got his girl pregnant lol!
I’ll live him regardless and want him to be able to live any one he wants to, be it male or female. X
This is truely a human rights issue and yet it is so politically charged people cannot see that. My lovely mom (and she is a great mom) gets creeped out with gay marrage, I think because it’s an unknown, but when I asked her if one of my kids was gay would she feel differently she admitted she would. When you put it on a personal level it changes everything.
Mandy W. recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Glasses Are Coooooool
You know what I wish…………………..that one day, the words GAY /LESBIAN no longer exist and we are just all ……………………………………..PEOPLE. : )
xox
msdilemma recently posted..Decal my world please……
YES. this. :)
Amy Bliss recently posted..Me- Myself and I
AMEN!!!!! And HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!
Phyllis recently posted..That Time of Month
I couldn’t agree more! I had never thought about it the way you did though!
I don’t understand why people are so against gay marriage…. I see no reason that everyone shouldn’t have the same rights whether it’s to marry or have children. Even when those people try to justify why gay marriage is wrong I still don’t get it. I think a lot of it comes down to intolerance and ignorance.
Thank you for the great post!!
Jackie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – September 21st
I love Idol Dad’s comment!
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..How I became a romance writer
Born and raised in the Netherlands ,this is pretty much not an issue anymore. We have gay parades and celebrate. However my religion tells me that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. On the flip side I do believe everybody should have the same rights as I have. Do I believe it is right, maybe not. But I do support the fact we all should be equal, absolutely.
Great post!
Linda Rihani recently posted..Win a 4 day stay at Jade Mountain- StLucia!!! How you gotta watch the review
LOVE your comment. So many people lay down the religion card. But this isn’t about personal beliefs. It is about equality.
Nolie recently posted..Blake McGinness selling his toys to buy his dad a headstone
I totally agree!!!! We need to love our children regardless and support them in anyway possible. I couldn’t imagine anyone denying my children the right to love and the right to be happy!
Danielle recently posted..Back on Monday
This. Exactly.
I don’t know who J will love… I just hope he FINDS love. And when he does, I want him to be able to legally love the bejeezus out of that person. Marriage and all.
I loved this post.
This is a great way of looking at it. Thanks for posting and for making this your best line:
biggest, fattest, gayest wedding ever
That could seriously be the title to a movie!!!
Rebecca recently posted..EmotionsWere Full of Them!
Yes…
If my 4 year old can understand that all families are different and equal, why can’t the rest of my country…
This was an amazing post. I’d never thought of gay marriage in terms of my own kids. Sara, you are a remarkable and thoughtful parent. There should be more mommies out there who think like you!
Old School / New School Mom recently posted..Wordless Wednesday Part Deux- A Letter to Rosemary Wells- Where Are Max and Rubys Parents
Well said. Sara hasn’t a clue how many mothers out there agree with every fiber of their being. God help the person that stands in the way!
Chefwife recently posted..Steak Tacos- Ingredients mean everything
Great post. And the Oxygen Channel would be a better network if their wedding shows had more gay flavor.
In all seriousness, even those who feel it violates religious doctrine…how does that affect YOU?? Let them worry about their own relationship and reckoning with God. I find that if religious people exerted that energy into their own spiritual practcie, instead of worrying about others, they might find more enlightenment and inspiration anyway.
Well said! Also a hetero female, I also don’t see what the big OMG! factor is with people loving who they love. A human rights issue? Definitely! To me, it’s the same “somehow u are less that” mentality that was fired at black folks and women (& yes, I’m both). It totally sickens me.
I couldn’t agree with you more. So often I hear even my “tolerant/open minded” friends say my child better not turn out gay. Or if I say if one of my kids turns out gay I’d be okay with that. It seems to really get people upset. Don’t get me wrong I hope they do not just because that can be a hard road sometimes and it comes with much unfair judgment but I would wholeheartedly invite my son and his boyfriend to dinner and be okay with it. I think I would get along with a gay guy better than some snotty wife anyways.
I’m glad to hear someone else say it out loud. Or type it out loud.
Raquel recently posted..I Got Your Back Mr Jones
YES! It is the right thing to do. And we should all be as vocal and well-spoken about the importance of equal rights as you are.
I was so depressed and disappointed yesterday when the Senate refused to vote on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. But, this post? This has cheered me up just a bit knowing that there are like-minded, smart people out there who do believe in equality.
We’ll get there. It’s taking too long. But hopefully by the time our children are old enough to marry, they’ll never feel the pain of being denied equal rights.
I am completely overwhelmed by all of this amazing support. I’m given hope that by the time ALL our babies are grown, this will be a non-issue. Power to the mamas–we can change EVERYTHING.
Thank you all for reading!
Sara Plays House recently posted..Software and Cake
You have no idea why people become ‘gay’……if you did, you would not wish it on your worst enemy!
I agree with the people here. Gay marriage is a right, marriage is a right we all have, there should be no exceptions because some are uncomfortable with gay relationships. Love is love, think about why you love your partner. Is it because they are the opposite gender??? NO, its because they make you laugh, or they are kind, or they make you feel whole. Gender doesn’t matter when it comes to love, its about the person on the inside.
I think its sad when people don’t “agree” with gay marriage, its not your place to agree people!!! I don’t care what your religion, “morals”, political party, or even your mommy tells you, I want equality for all. If you don’t like it, then simply move on.
I am a passionate supporter of gay/lesbian rights… I have too many friends I love that are gay/lesbian to want to deny them the rights and privileges that hetero’s like me take for granted. Every one also deserves the right to change their own child’s poopy nappy! LOL
I have a ex-friend with seven kids. Her 10 year old girl is not her “pretty” daughter. She’s the one that likes to get dirty, play sports, and not worry about things like frilly clothes and cute make-up. One day she said, “I think she’s going to be gay and I’m not sure how I will feel.” I said, “You’ll love her and go on.” She said, “I’m not sure I can do that.” Her reasoning? She’s one of the people that hides behind her faith even if it means damning her own child. Sick. Now you know part of why she’s my ex-friend!
Thank you, Sara, for being loud on this one. This is how I feel, I just don’t have the time or energy to be loud, but I’m so glad you do.
Everyone should be allowed to love.
Awesome post. Thanks for this perspective.
life with kaishon recently posted..I love you as much… by Laura Krauss Melmed
my kids have asked me before, would i love soandso if they were gay. and i always say i don’t care because i love my child no matter what.
i don’t care. if someone is gay, and they are happy to boot…who cares? and they want to have children? AWESOME.
love this post!!
i wrote a post a month or so ago about this because i am pro gay marriage. as some comedian once said, let them be just as miserable as the rest of us :)
http://www.rockanddrool.com/2010/08/31/free-to-be-you-and-me-my-thoughts-on-gay-marriage/ here is my post, in case anyone is so inclined.
AWESOMNESS is this post!!
melissa recently posted..Boys Vs Girls And The Mothers Who Love Them
great great post! I just sat here reading & nodding my head yes.
As for the “let them be as miserable as the rest of us” comment that is so true. What are we preserving here by keeping gay people from getting married? The sanctity of super high divorce rates and tons of adultery?
Everyone should be able to get married.
Bravo!!
PeaceLoveGuac recently posted..Macho Man
Well written! My sentiments exactly!
Cort (Modern Super Momma) recently posted..Anyone got hemorrhoid cream For my eyes – not my ass – sicko
I would love my child if he were gay, but I would not support his choice. I would still love him if he robbed a bank or killed a man, but those things are wrong. It’s that simple.
I don’t believe we’re allowed to pick and choose the parts of our child we love. The day I say that I only love part of my child, I hope someone shoots me dead because I’ve obviously failed as a mother.
Sara Plays House recently posted..Software and Cake
It’s really sad that you compare love, whether it’s loving someone who’s the same sex as you are, to robbing a bank or killing. Love is not a crime.
When was the last time you woke up and “decided” to be straight? When was “choosing” to be straight ever a thought in your mind? I’d like to meet just one person who woke up one morning and “chose” to be gay that day. Because I’ve never had that choice. I’ve never decided “today is the day I’m going to go find a guy to date, because I choose to do so.” So please, cut the crap and stop calling it a choice. I don’t choose to be gay any more than I choose for my hair to be brown, my skin to be white, or my feet to be size 11.5.
Well said.
BRAVO……spoken with true spirit :)
Opps……the ‘bravo’ comment was meant for Alicia
Such an important, well-written post.
And Jill? As always, I’m impressed with your readers.
I had never thought about it like this, but you are 100% right. Sometimes I wonder “what if” one of my kids are gay, but then I just think whatever, then he/she’ll be gay, but I had never thought about their rights as a gay person. Great job.
Jennifer recently posted..I thought it would never be over
What a fantastic post! Your right-we want it all for our children and that may mean we need to change the way things are now. My best friend confided in me that she was gay when I was in college. It didn’t change who she was to me but unfortunately it took her family a long time to come to terms with it. She is now a mom and she worries constantly about her son and what the future will hold for him.
Joy recently posted..My New Addiction
Beautifully said. Thank you for posting this. I, as another heterosexual woman in a heterosexual marriage, completely agree and appreciate your willingness to put this out there!
AWE. SOME.
Great points and well written. Equal rights for all!
Cathy recently posted..Recycled poem
BRAVO! Love should be FREE! I’m getting married in 17 days and I wish that freedom for all!
Gwen recently posted..It’s Only 11-30 am and I Only Have 12 Points Left!
An absolutely excellent post, with which I couldn’t agree more.
I loved this post. LOVED. I’ve also never understood why this is an issue. People love who they love. The heart wants what it wants. The ability to love and respect and commit to someone should determine two people’s right to marry, NOT their gender. If you have a man and a woman in an abusive relationship popping out babies that they sadly neither want nor for whom they can provide, and then you have a gay couple in a happy, loving relationship who would love nothing more than to adopt a child into a safe, nurturing home, who has the more “normal” relationship there? And yet the abusive hetero couple has the right to marry and the gay couple doesn’t? There’s something seriously wrong with that.
And while I’ve always been a proponent for gay rights, it’s something I feel even more strongly about since having my own child. I also sometimes look at my infant daughter and wonder, “What if…? And the thought that she could be persecuted and denied basic rights for simply being who she is and loving who she loves makes me sad.
I love this post. It’s so true… and it’s why I care, too :)
Jaden recently posted..DO FUN STUFF!!!!
I love this. Being a conservative people automaticly think that I am against Gay Marriage and that is the farthest from the truth. I think that everyone should have equal rights…but I always joke with my gay friends, are you sure you wanna get married? LMAO! :) You are soo right about children too…you never know what your children are going to grow up to be…and you will love them no matter what! :) Great post!
martini mama recently posted..Ladies- Please tell me if I am being selfish
I totally support gay marriage. Gays have just as much right to be miserable as we do.
Happy Hour Sue recently posted..This Just In- Apples Not Falling Far From Trees
ha! right!?
Meghan @ JaMonkey recently posted..Look What I Got
Great post Sara!
Meghan @ JaMonkey recently posted..Look What I Got
I SOOOO wish my gay friends could get married because it would be THE. BEST. WEDDING. EVER. And the Hens night would totally rock!!
BTW, Idle Dad? Vegitarians should be allowed to marry, but not breed. No way.
Mrs BC recently posted..Home Hairdressing Horror
Love this post!
I absolutely agree and love that you shared your thoughts on this subject from a “Mothers” voice. <3
LOVE this post! What an amazing perspective – especially coming directly from the words of a loving parent. Everyone should be equal no matter how “different” or “non-traditional” they may be. Hopefully one day soon, things will change for the better :)
Simply put, great post! Loved reading the perspective from a parent’s pov & how it consequently, effects all of us….whether we know it or not.
I completely agree. Not only do gay rights effect us all on the large scale, but on the small scale, how does the gay couple next door’s marital status effect anyone other than themselves? This is why I don’t get how people can be against it. If you believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, then you should marry the appropriate partner. But how does it affect you if Jason and Ben next door are married or not? Why would you bother wasting your energy and getting all worked up over blocking them from doing what they want? I just don’t have that kind of energy (or certainly vitriol) to spare on such nonsense!
Marry away, People! The more people who get married and have kids (any which way they end up getting them), the more people like me are out there! The more the merrier!
Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? recently posted..Nana’s Coming Gulp
LOVE this post…as I was reading I was nodding my head in complete agreement! All I want for my son (and any future kids) is complete happiness.
I feel very lucky to be attending the wedding of a childhood friend in Connecticut this weekend. She is marrying her longtime girlfriend! It is going to be quite a celebration! :)
Stephanie recently posted..Until next year summer
Fantastic post!!
Rebecca recently posted..One Week Already!
Awesome. Just awesome. These are basic human rights and should not be taken away. From ANYONE. My boys should be allowed to love whoever they want just like anyone.
Here! Here! If only people here in CA would view it the same.
Here’s a question though, would you take your kids to a protest rally? I’ve been on the fence about it because while I’d love them to see the political process and our rights in action, I also wouldn’t want to put them in harms way.
Lori Z. recently posted..Genetics
{pumps fist} <3
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting recently posted..My Shiny- Almost-New Eyeglasses
I love this post. Seriously. Jill, thanks so much for hosting it. This is such an important message to spread.
Sandra recently posted..Progress
I really appreciate and love this post, not only because I whole-heatedly agree, but also because I relate to angle. I wrote about gay rights last year in which I pleaded with mamas to think about it from a mother’s perspective. Some of us are raising children that will grow up to identify themselves as gay, bi, transgender, etc.. It could be my kid. It could be yours. And, if it’s yours, I want your child to have the same rights as mine.
Thank you, Jill and Sara, for highlighting such an important topic.
-Aimee
Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog recently posted..EKS Day- Join Joe Jonas to Help Raise Awareness for the Special Olympics
Someone commented on “hiding behind their faith,” so I reckon that means my thoughts would be disregarded. Or mocked. Or bring out the haters. This is a sadness.
But yay, you! And by “you!” I mean Sara. And Jill, both of whom I love and consider my people, even though our opinions* differ sometime.
Also, if either of my daughters decided to love someone of the same sex and have a wedding celebrating that love, I will disown them. Disown them if they don’t let me hire Ian McKellan to perform the ceremony, while Neil Patrick Harris & Nathan Lane sing “Sunrise, Sunset.” I mean, they owe me at least that…a fantastic, mildly flamboyant, traditionally classic southern wedding. Come on!
*See how it works? This is how we all get along. WORLD, TAKE NOTE.
(That deserved shouty capitals, no?)
This post is amazing! Everyone has the right to marry who they love and be with who makes them happy.
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation recently posted..10 Reasons Why I Love My Job
Simply and beautifully put.
It really is that simple. Everyone should be treated with respect and have the right to love whomever they wish without the government and those who oppose (for no rational reason) making them feel they have to hide it.
Love it! Love, Love, Love LOVE it!!!! As a mother to a beautiful girl, that wear pretty dresses and ribbons in her hair to dig in the mud and bring me bugs cupped in her hand, I will love her to the moon and beyond no matter what whom she chooses to love later on in life – male or female. Her happiness is all that will ever matter to me!
Thank you for articulating a side of gay rights that had never even crossed my mind before. This is certainly very valid reasoning in the debate for tolerance, acceptance and equal rights for all gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered individuals.
HaB recently posted..A Pretty Dress for a Pretty Little Girl
This post just hit me in my stomach and literally took my breath away. It caused a tear to roll down my cheek. And not because I disagree with you but because, I have a son who might be gay in his future. Like you, I am going on stereotypes but it is still a possiblity. And like you, I want my son to be happy, I want my son to find love and have a child. I want my son to be able to do whatever is heart desires and nothing less with no one telling him he can’t.
I TOTALLY support gay marriage and gay rights.
This was a fabulous post…. Thank you.
Since becoming a mom, I see some issues so much more clearly than ever before. I of course support gay marriage, gay adoption, gay anything. I believe strongly in equality. And I too think that what if my child, or children, become gay? Would I not love them and support them with all my soul? OF COURSE I WOULD. No matter what. Gay, straight, doctor, plumber. Whatever. They’re my boys and nothing will change my insane amount of love for them, and I will support them through ANYTHING. FOREVER. GOD, great post!
Well said Sara! I’m sure this is an angle many people forget to think about when speaking against this important right!
Wow!!! Awesome posts! This is something everyone should read maybe it will make more people think! and Lula? I totally love the Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Lane singing at the wedding!!! Heck they can come sing at my kids wedding (whenever that may happen) regardless if its a gay wedding or not..lol. Once again ..Absolutely love this!
Wow, excellent post!! It really should be put other places – like in the New York Times or Washington Post! It’s important. And, what always gets me is that most of the people that are soooo against rights for gays are the same people that say government should stay out of people’s personal lives.
Kim recently posted..For the Love of Rosie – Part II-Conclusion-
Ok, to address the “what about the bible?” What about it? Last I checked, Jesus said there are two commandments: love God, love your neighbor. Yes, there are all sorts of rules written in the Old Testament regarding all sorts of life issues (see Janelle’s comment). However, Christians are supposed to go by Jesus’ teaching, right? Not sure how judging and condeming fits into their faith, but as for me I’m going to love my children and other people’s children as Christ told me to, regardless of race gender, religion, and sexual preference. Yay for all the moms who are teaching their children how to love!
To love the Right in life……….not the Wrong!
What is right? Or wrong? Pretty sure to each of us it is a judgment call (with the exception of horrible crimes etc). Who are you (or any of us) to judge love?
Jeannie recently posted..You know you are in trouble- so you try to get out of it
This is hands down one of the best posts I’ve ever read. Ever. Brilliant, Sara.
I agree with everything you said 110%.
Salt recently posted..Snip snip
perfect.
MommyNamedApril recently posted..The Caterpillar Bush
Amen Sister!! I honestly don’t see why gay people are treated any differently at all!! Great post!
Loved this post! Unbelievably one of the best posts i have ever read!
I support gay marriage and gay rights!
Stephanie@Geezees recently posted..Gay Marriage Gifts and Canvas Winner
Amazing post. Thank you so much for hosting it.
Jenn recently posted.. the power of women and champagne
I have SEVEN kids. The law of averages says that at least ONE of them will be gay. Am I ‘bothered’? Nope. Will I scream and shout and tear my hair out? Nope. Will I love and cherish them the same as I did before I found out? Duh, no-brainer, of course I will.
Anyone who says that my kids can’t be who they want to be, and love who they want to love, can take it up with me, you and the rest of us mothers who love their kids no matter what. Wanna take bets on who’ll win?
I love the way you think
Nic recently posted..Unbearable
I love love love your blog. I am an engaged gay woman. I have two girls. A girl in her class asked her one day what it was like to have two moms, she replied, it’s just like having a mom and a dad, only more fun. My girls know and understand the gay and straight world. We have told both of them that no matter gay or straight we will love them the same. The hardest part of being a gay woman raising two kids with another woman, is having your 11 year old daughter look at you and ask why you and mommy can’t get married. I had to tell her that people are blind to different. If you had your child look you in the eyes and ask you that would it not make you think? Gay or straight?
Yes………what’s wrong with this situation that you have created???
Sandra,
She has not created a situation. Closed minded, homophobes have created it.
Jeannie recently posted..You know you are in trouble- so you try to get out of it
Sandra,
You always have something awful to say to someone who does not run their life as you do. You should be ashamed of yourself. I keep seeing your nasty posts to everyone on here. You are so full of your self. You are not perfect, and just because someone else is not exactly like you does not make them a lesser person deserving of bullying.
Jeanne and Rae,
I will have to disagree with your assumptions of me.
You think I’m a closed minded homophobe?
What ‘awful’ things have I said?
Where are my nasty posts to ‘everyone’ that you keep seeing?
To express ones opinion, that slightly differs from the rest is bullying is it?
Some people cannot see the bigger picture of our future to come.
Preach it! You are awesome!
Mrs. B. recently posted..Birthday Parties From Hell
much love to you, sara, for being a voice in the fight for equality…and as always to you, jill, for bringing this to the masses. i was actually hoping for more “hot” comments…i’m kidding *kinda*.
as a lesbian couple living in rural alabama, my partner and i strive to be a face for our friends, family, and co-workers to put up against anti-gay legislation. rocking the vote is the only way towards change.
alisha recently posted..the skinny
I have two grown sons and had exactly the same thoughts. I know now that they are not gay, but had they ever come to me with a gay admission, I would have hugged them tight and said,”what do you want for lunch?”. Life would have gone on…they would still be my boys and I would still adore them. People are people and love is love…I truly believe that.
Thanks for a wonderfully brave post.
Janet xox
The Empty Nest
janet metzger recently posted..How can you be 29 when Im only 42
Having grown up in MA gay has just been normal. Our neighbors were gay. Our friends were gay. Nothing about them was “wrong” they were still GOOD people. Who cares that their heart belonged to someone of the same sex, I sure didn’t.
Jennifer @ J. Leigh Designz recently posted..B2B Medela Intimate Apparel Comfort Nursing Bra & Nursing Camisole Review & Giveaway
YES.
pgoodness recently posted..It’s the moments
I sincerely enjoyed this post. I think I enjoyed it because I have never thought of this subject in quite this way. Sure I’ve said that I’ll love and support my kids no matter who they love but I haven’t taken my thought process to if they’d ever be able to marry the one they love. Bravo for pointing that out and giving us a new perspective to think about.
B recently posted..Identity Theft
I couldn’t have said it any better! Well done Sara! I really don’t understand how people can still be so ignorant when it comes to gay rights. So sad!
Thanks for taking the time to write what I’ve been thinking.
I completely agree with you. Nobody should have their right denied just because of who they are. I wish my family was as supportive as you are to your daughters (bout I can’t complain anyway, although they may annoy me sometimes they love me and i love them). As you recalled every family is different, there is no point in trying to standarize an institution that holds a diverse amount of people. I’m really a “Live and Let Live” person so I don’t really care if someone I know thinks or is different than me. I loved your blog and I will keep reading it <3 :)
Take care! :D
Belgium legalized gay marriage years ago (one of the first countries that did) and no the armies of darkness have not taken over and Beelzebub is not shopping on the Avenue Louise.
I could not agree more with what you have written and I swear that if one of my girls turns out gay I will love her just as much as I do now.
It’s amazing how different views like this, as personal of a choice as they are, can put a wedge between friends. I was so in love with this post I shared it with a friend, whom to my knowledge was a very open minded person, and she was to my great disappointment “disgusted” (her wording). It broke my heart to hear her say that if her child was gay she’d have nothing to do with them. She’s pregnant, and we’ll see how she feels about it once her little one actually arrives. Hmm?
Brie recently posted..The Bassackwards Collegiate
kudos for raising the issue. gives me hope that so many support what you wrote. i know those that interpret the bible literally will have problems with this but i sometimes think they forgot the overall message of the bible particularly in the NT–it’s about loving and accepting people and working together to make a better world. thanks for this.
I was raised with lesbian moms; they are my parents and that is that. No better, or worse, than the next. Of course they’ve often been treated worse, especially by people who use their religious beliefs as a shield. A shield that is often used as a weapon.
I was fortunate to grow up surrounded by the LGBT community. A bunch of regular people, like you and me, except somehow, in spite of the bias, hatred, double-standards, second-class citizenship and violence they are subjected to, continue to love and teach their children to be accepting, open-minded, hard-working, and strong.
I’m telling you, whether you know it already or not, the LGBT of the world are some kind of wonderful.
Wonderful post, Sara. I heart you.
I absolutely love your attitude about gay marriage. Thank you for this delightful post. Your daughters are lucky to have you.
All the best,
Susan Gabriel
author of Seeking Sara Summers
(a novel about falling in love with your best friend)
“I’m a heterosexual woman who cares deeply about gay rights. Because you just never know.”
Ditto.
Aimee Greeblemonkey recently posted..September Greeblepix Winner Weekend Plans
Eh… I think women can’t be combat troops anyway, so you might want to get on that one as well, if you think one of them may want to fight for their country.
Aaron Christianson recently posted..Whats going on here!
Sara this is a brilliant perspective. I wrote about gay marriage during the 31dbbb and got more solid support than I anticipated, which is great. The two responses that were against it were total cowards and posted anonymously! If you can’t show yourself and have the courage of your convictions you just don’t count in my opinion.
Great post! Thanks.
Barbara recently posted..Miracles do happen!
I was raised Catholic and graduated from parochial school but can’t figure out for the life of me where people learned they could use religion, God, or the bible to judge others. It’s ignorance at its worst and I look forward to the day when we don’t have to defend against it. That day is coming. Look how far women’s and African-American civil rights have come is such a relatively short time. Gay rights WILL follow because of thoughtful dialogue and education like this.
I’d rather my daughter be loved by a wonderful woman, than abused by a horrible man. I don’t care who my children will love, I will love them regardless. I just hope that by the time they start to love, they won’t have to be “ashamed.”
Pua recently posted..Oh- my love
I love love this post. As a mother, I just want my child to be happy. I hope that no matter what life choices he makes in the future that he never has to feel shame or sadness or scared about who he is. Thanks for posting.
Angie recently posted..Tricep dips
As a heterosexual who totally supports and loves her gay friends, I have to say this post is AWESOME. I know a wonderful couple who want so badly to get married but cannot here in the state of GA. As far as kids go – they have two from a previous marriage, but wanted a baby together… so they went for Invitro – when they picked their sperm donor they wanted to make sure they didn’t just pick something ‘traditional’. Their son is African American and Korean. He is bright, happy, healthy, and loved beyond reason. Denying someone the right to be a parent simply because of their sexual preference is wrong! Too many children need loving homes to deny someone who only wants a child to love and care for.
Elizabeth recently posted..Another fine week…
Freaking awesome. Agree. Agree. Agree.
Melodie recently posted..An Emotional Day
I’d really like to convey my thanks for your support. Oftentimes, our allies in the straight community are seen as supporting it for either extremely vague reasons, or because someone in their family is LGBTQIA. While any support for any (positive) reason is greatly appreciated, your reasons are far more noble and can be argued and supported in such a manner that they withstand a counter-argument; and it is this type of strong support that aids us in showing people of all beliefs and opinions (on this, and all LGBTQ rights issues), that this truly is what is right.
In short, thank you.
YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for posting.
You know, I was born and raised Mormon, and still tend to identify as LDS. However, unlike so many of the faith out there, I am very adamant about gay rights. Be it marriage, adoption, or even joining the military. Does who they love make them less of a person? Less worthy to fight for our freedom and put their lives on the line besides our other soldiers? It’s more acceptable for a married man to step out on his wife, break apart his family and home… than it is for a loving gay couple to be faithful to each other, simply because of who the other person is? A free country is a free country, regardless of your faith, your skin color, your sexual orientation, etc. Every job interview, home application, etc… they all state that sexual orientation cannot be a reason to discriminate. So why does the whole country discriminate about something as simple as being in love and starting a family?
Mojo Mama recently posted..Random is as random does
Amen, sister! (Totally stumble thumbed this one up!)
Hey, speaking of gay rights and marriage and all that, one of my blogger friends entered a contest to win a gay wedding on a plane to Sweden. Perhaps you can take a second to go vote for him? (No reg required). Scroll down to the instructions on his post: http://www.hereforthewrongreasons.com/2010/09/big-gay-ice-wedding-update-and-tutorial.html
Thank you so much for writing this. Thank you. Deep down in my heart I thought about this too.
Absence of Alternatives recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
I love you. I want to be invited when you plan this Big, Gat, Gay Wedding. Maybe we can have our own? I did just tell you I love you, after all.
Surferwife recently posted..I have overcome the lazy for my giveaway winner
This. 100% this.
Perfect.
Thank you for this post. We need more like this.
Fantastic. Absolutely love this. What a wonderful world of love you are raising your children in.
The world will be a much better place with more moms and people like you.
Adryon recently posted..Dear Jai
This is *such* a contentious issue, and if there is one thing I hate more than anything else, it’s a total lack of respect and a stirring up of hatred – from all sides of the debate. I’m not going to say where I stand, because in all honesty I haven’t figured it out yet!
I do know that simply yelling out “what about the Bible?” and running away, without a logical and fact-based argument to back it up is about as effective in this day and age as a chocolate teapot…rightly or wrongly.
But the way a person can be attacked just for expressing an opinion scares me. And yes, pro-gay rights campaigners can be just as vicious as those protesting about it. We are all human, after all.
This post: I love. It’s honest. It gets right to the heart of the human issue, not the political one. And it’s not a perspective that you ever hear being debated among the politicians.
Thank you for writing it.
I apologise for turning my comment into an essay!
bubbleboo @ The Thought Bubble recently posted..Autism and Year Three – A New Beginning
As one of my lesbian friends says of her son: I don’t feel invested gay or straight so long as there are grandchildren.
Exactly!
Sarah Buttenwieser recently posted..Love Made Visible
Oh, that every mother could make and embrace that same leap.
Yours is the voice that America needs to hear.
Bravo.
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