My parents divorced when I was 4 years old. After the custody agreement, I lived with my father and *evil* stepmother, and I became a really heavy-set child (hadn’t been before – but between the ages of 5 and 14, I was always the biggest girl in the class). I snuck candy and *bad* carbs every chance I had. I wasn’t active (my Dad emphasized academics more than anything else), and our diet (ethnic) was definitely high in carbs all around. Two years after having moved in with my mother (at 15 years old), I weighed 20 pounds more than I do now (8 years later). She definitely noticed my sugar addiction (which is something I have yet to kick ;) and handed me a book: When Food Is Love by Geneen Roth. It talks about the emotional ties everyone has to food and eating. I remember talking to her about the book, about growing up without her, and also about her family (Binge Eating Disorder runs in my family – everyone on her side of the family is overweight to obese). Then, we discussed her life, and how she put on alot of weight after the divorce, and the therapy she went through, and the activities that she did to lose it.

Lastly, we talked about choices. My mother has convinced me that life is just a series of interrelated choices, and that healthy patterns can be started and kept up with maintenance (through healthy choices).

Since then, I’ve been active fairly regularly, I’ve gone to therapy (to readjust the way I think and feel towards my parents and those close to me), and in regards to food…well. I will probably always have a sweet tooth, but I have learned that quantity isn’t necessary for quality, and I’ve learned not to feel guilty for eating what I want to. That is, in fact, Geneen Roth’s message…once we stop applying judgments of guilt to eating foods society considers bad for us, and we learn to eat based on our body (when we are hungry) and not our emotions…we loosen the tie food has on us, and we are able to free ourselves from some HUGE negative factors related to body image.

Anywho, back to you and your 6 year old. I’d have to say that at 6, scary as hearing that she is “flat” may be, I think it is up to you, as a Mom, to take responsibility for your own attitude towards food, your body image, and physical activity. Finding out that your kid is sneaking junk food IS scary, but why is she doing it?

[Does she feel like she isn't "allowed" to have sweets (well, probably, she isn't...as any good Mom would do, I'm sure you've limited her intake). Try giving her as much of her favourite candy as she wants for a few weeks. I know, this sounds crazy - but she will actually want it less by the end of it, because she will know it is always there, and having it won't be contingent on anything...of course, in the beginning, she will probably be climbing the walls 24/7, but the outcome is definitely worth it. My Mom let my brother and I eat nothing but junk food for three whole days straight once, and while it didn't cure my sweet tooth for good, it sure did temper it.]

Going back to my prior point. How you act towards yourself (your body), towards food (what you eat and what your kids eat) and physical activity (as a family or separately) is going to affect your 6 year old alot more right now, than any peer at school. And, it will continue to affect her for the rest of her life. This is probably a big heads-up that you need to change the way you look at things.

It might also be a good idea to talk with her about any traumatic experiences she may have lived through (this is the only blog post of yours I’ve read, so I’m not sure if you and your family have or not). 6 years old is not too young to start dealing with it, and the younger you start, the better, because once you become old and set in your ways…bad habits are hard to break ;)

Good luck :D

IMHO, one of the most powerful things a mom can do for little girls is to limit her media exposure, and provide ways for her to shine that have nothing to do with clothes, hair, etc. Praise skills and talents and activities and accomplishments , instead of appearance! Give her a solid belief in all the wonderful things she can do and be, and hopefully she will sail through the body image hell of middle school/high school…
elizabeth´s last blog ..*blush*

You’re right – having a girl IS hard – and wonderful. And hard. Mine is 15.

If you haven’t already discovered American Girl’s books (of course you’re aware of the dolls by now, but the books are only $10!) you might find them fabulous for navigating the tough territory of girls. They have a calm and practical approach that girls seem to respond to – especially when they are not listening to their moms. This happens frequently – especially around 8 years old.

Their Smart Girl’s Series is especially helpful – I’ve written two of the most recent books: A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet and A Smart Girl’s Guide to Style. I wish I had loads to give out, but I don’t. If you happen to discover them in the store or at your local library, I think you’ll like them. And if you do, I’d love it if you could jot down a review. : )

I prayed so hard for a boy when I found out I was pregnant. For so many reason. One being the weight issues I have dealt with my whole life. I am horrified to think that my daughter might have to deal with these same feelings. I am a freak about her having very much sugar. She is 16 months old and has never had a piece of candy and has hardly had any kind of cookies. But I am also afraid that once she does have them she will go nuts over them. People totally didn’t get my fears of having a girl….it’s so good to see that I’m not the only one that has them!
Megan´s last blog ..My Favorite…For Today