Parenting|

The People You Meet At The Grocery Store

by Team Scary Mommy
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Grocery shopping is the great equalizer — after all, everyone has to do it. That means if you love people-watching and you’ve got plenty of time because you’re blissfully shopping without the kids, it can be the best part of your day. And while grocery stores are often full of a truly impressive cast of characters, there are certain, if you will, grocery store TYPES. Here’s the different types of people you’ll meet while shopping, good and bad:

The Slow Decider

It can take some shoppers a surprisingly long amount of time to choose something from the shelf. These can be good people to spy on at the store because they often know the best deals. But when that ONE thing you need is behind them, it might cause you to tear out your hair as you wait.

The Chatty McChatty

When you’re starved for adult conversation, these chatty folks are a godsend. But other days when you’re in a huge hurry because soccer and dinner and dance mean you’re on a tight schedule, it’s less fun. You’ll need a convo exit strategy, so plan accordingly. Our fave: “Oh, that’s so awesome! I’m so sorry, but I’m late for the gynecologist.” Trust us, it works.

The Center Carters

Everyone knows if you’re stopping at a shelf, you pull your cart to the side and leave room for folks to pass. But there are a few folks who don’t get it and block traffic in both directions while blithely choosing a pasta sauce. If saying “excuse me” doesn’t work, you have our permission to move their carts yourself. It’s okay.

The Sale Announcer

Say you grab a carton of half-and-half (because COFFEE) when someone taps you and says, “You know so-and-so brand is on sale for a dollar less!” How awesome is that? If you find one of these gems, follow ‘em around the store so you have more cash for wine.

The Impatients

There’s always someone in a huge hurry who thinks you and your cart full of stuff and kids is slowing them down. Our advice? Just try to stay out of their way. Sure, they might be self-important, but who knows, they could just be having a really bad day. Step aside and let ‘em pass.

The Extreme Couponer

These people are actually magical. But if you are behind them in line and you need to be somewhere, you’ll find yourself turning into an Impatient. So if you see someone with a huge coupon binder when you’re time-crunched, choose a different aisle. And remember, you don’t have to be extreme to save — you just need the Kroger app.

The Cartless

We’ve all been there — you think you just need a couple things so you can skip the cart or basket, but once you hit the aisles? You’re gonna see six other things you forgot you needed and suddenly you’re juggling more than you can handle. This is where broken jars of applesauce in the aisle come from, friends. So get the cart. It’s worth it.

The Bewildered Non-Shopper

We don’t mean to sound sexist, but this category is nearly always men (sorry, dudes). Mom is working or sick or out of town, he’s tasked with shopping, and he is LOST. Or maybe it’s someone new to the area and doesn’t know the store. Be kind to these poor lost souls. You know, if you have time. If not, just holler EXCUSE ME and move on.

The Label Scrutinizer

You might mistake this person for a Slow Decider, but they are just triple-checking ingredients to make sure there’s nothing in the product they don’t want. You can spot a Label Scrutinizer because they treat the store like a library and READ ALL THE THINGS.

The Pro Shopper

Strutting confidently through the store and going EXACTLY where they need to, the Pro Shopper is who we all want to be. They are super organized and know where they’re going — or they are literally pros, like the folks who do your shopping for you.

The Helpers

Mr. Rogers used to say, “Look for the helpers.” These kind souls are the folks who make funny faces at your toddler when the line is moving too slowly or the ones who chase you down in the parking lot with that lost binky or toy that was dropped along the way. These are the BEST people.

The Kroger Family of Stores is your best spot for people-watching, but if you can’t make it into the store, Kroger’s got you covered. The Kroger app makes it easy to order groceries right from your phone, either delivered to your home or brought right to your car. Download the app to start shopping online today!