“The man who thinks his wife, his baby, his house, his horse, his dog, and himself severely unequalled, is almost sure to be a good-humored person.”
—Oliver Wendell Homes
I am a person of great want. Unfortunately, this malady, which ranges from the extravagant to the insignificant, seems to afflict me in perpetuity: as soon as I get what I want, I set my sights on the next “thing.” See seven moves since 2001. See eight different cars in three years. See three kids in four years.
I am a restless man—aren’t all 30-somethings?—and I like to think that this wanting is just me running against restlessness. And to a large degree, it is. That, and I am addicted to change. Did I mention that?
Except in one regard…
I met Scary Mommy week one of college, more than 13 years ago. We both arrived in the Midwest from the Boston suburbs, two fresh-faced (thanks to the dermatologist my mother forced me to see) kids looking for everything good about being 18 and on one’s own: freedom, philosophy, maybe even promiscuity. Last thing we were looking for was love. So imagine my surprise when it hit me like a Mack truck just three weeks into my new life. I vividly remember the moment I knew that I had fallen in love. It was at one in the morning in the stairwell of a beer-stenched freshman dorm named Rubelman. Scary Mommy and I were saying goodnight—I had studying to do, she, not such the studious type, was probably off to remove and reapply some nail polish. As our lips parted, bidding farewell until sunrise, I found myself losing my breath. My heart had literally skipped a few beats, leaving me momentarily speechless, dizzy, numb—and a little scared. I was in love forever.
Three months into our courtship I knew that I would marry Scary Mommy. I knew it with the certainty of the smell of my grandmother’s perfume on a stranger walking by. There was no back-up plan.
Fast-forward to present day. Change has been a constant companion in the life Scary Mommy and I have carved out together. And admittedly, I am the instigator and source of said constant change. But behind this need to shake things up…to keep moving forward…to bring the next new thing into our lives—behind this is the never-ending, life-affirming, positively unconditional love of a good woman. When you have a touchstone as firmly rooted as I do in Scary Mommy, you can be anyone you want to be and go anywhere you want to go. At the end of the day, the road always leads home.
This blog is an ongoing testament to Scary Mommy’s role as the Mother Earth of our family. You read the stories and see the pictures of the kids, and you think, “Oh, what a wonderful idea! What a sweet moment! What cute kids!” The thing is, this blog doesn’t do justice to Scary Mommy. You.Have.No.Idea.
Are we perfect? Far from it. Has our story been all love and no heartache? No way. Have there been make-or-break times in our marriage, where we have had to work together to move down the “make” path? Yes.
But I write this now, a man sure—no, a man convinced—that my wife, my kids, my house, my dog, my everything are “severely unequalled.”
Now, about that horse…
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{ 30 comments }
This is so great… a man using such big words but have really big… hands.
Seriously, a wonderful tribute to a women who I really like. In a bloggy stranger sort of way.
Happy Birthday Scary Mommy!!
Awww – what a lovely husband you have Scary Mommy. And Happy Birthday!
As much as I love this blog, you’re right, it doesn’t do Scary Mommy justice. I still remember the phone call I got from St. Louis telling me that a certain someone just met the girl he was going to marry. Back then, you definitely weren’t so scary (or so old:)) I thought your hubby was crazy, we were only 18!!!!!! But then a few months later, I got to meet you. And I knew that if Jeff didn’t marry you, I would. Happy Birthday Scary Mommy!
Dawn
Awww… thanks, Love. You definitely keep me on my toes, but I can’t imagine it any other way! Now, about that horse… Not gonna happen.
Thanks, Mrs. R! And Dawn, you had me tearing up :)
Hard to describe my feelings in reading this—ranging from tearing up, smiling, laughing, and remembering (but you are SO yooung!) but if I were to use one word it would be cherishing. I cherish being a part of this adventure with you guys—sometimes it feels like soaring and sometimes it seems like a swamp but it is surely never dull and it always makes me feel fortunate. Not all parents are so lucky to have had their daughter find her true love and then be able to share in that joy, especially 3 wonderful children later.
Happy Birthday honey—Jeff, a beautiful tribute (as I would expect with your writing skills!) to my wonderful daughter–yes, an amazing and loving earth mother.
Jeff – that was truly moving. You have both been blessed to have met each other. Granted, I, like most, thought you both were nuts (especially given Jill’s goal going off to college). But you have shown me what a true partnership is, with more good than bad, great memories and no regrets.
Happy Birthday, Bean! Your 31st year will be memorable, just like you.
This is so sweet! You guys really do have it all. I don’t know how you do it, but you are an amazing mom with more love for your kids inside you than I have seen in my many encounters with parents. You devote your entire life to your family, and for that you are truly inspiring. Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday!! The 30′s are way better than the 20′s. We are smarter, prettier and richer! I can only say richer because now I don’t have to buy things on sale becuase I HAVE to …I do it because I choose to:-)
Hope you have a fabulous birthday. Hopefully your wonderful husband got you lots of free hotel toiletries for your birthday and flowers that he picked himself.
and Happy birthday to my sister Jamie who reads your blog…her birthday is July 4th :-)
What a wonderful and sweet tribute to a birthday girl! This made me cry, and then call my husband to tell him how much I love him. Thank you for showing that there are men (other than mine) that appreciate what the women in their lives have to offer. A really wonderful post! Oh and Happy Birthday Scary Mommy!!!
Jeeze, and I can barely get my husband to even READ my blog.
Crap. Hang on while I grab the Websters, you Communications Major…
:)
Kidding. That was really sweet!! Maybe worth another new car even…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JILL!!!!!!
Happy Birthday!
What a wonderful tribute for your b-day! Hope you have a wonderful time with yoru family!
Awwwww. Now that’s a birthday present that money can’t buy: Wuv, twue wuv!
my dad was always going to see a man about a horse, but we still never got one.
Happy birthday!! I’m so glad that it’s in writing that your hubby is truly content!!
It was a lovely and deserving tribute to a great friend!
Truthfully, the only thing scary about you is how manage 3 kids, a dog, a husband and craft projects at the same time.
xoxox, Marlene
I’m swooning. This was sooooo sweet. Happy Birthday, Scary.
Happy birthday Scary Mommy!
Mr. Scary, that post was beautiful!
Mr. SM you are quite charming and Happy B-day to Mrs SM
Happy Birthday SM! What a lovely tribute from your hubby. You are blessed!
You all are so sweet, THANK YOU! It was a good day.
But you are giving Mr. Scary Mommy a big head with all this lovin’. I have to remind him that you are here in the first place because of ME. :)
And… Happy birthday, Jamie, if you made it this far!!
What a beautiful post! A special birthday message! I hope you were able to enjoy your day! So glad you came by my blog…I just love SITS! So, thanks, for blessing me today with your presence in my blogworld!
I finally made it to the end – so sorry for not contributing yesterday on your birthday! but who says a birthday is just one day – I say you get a week!! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! wow, that was one of the nicest blogs – I know I shouldn’t say it b/c it will make Mr. Scary Mommy’s head explode – but you are really lucky to have such a wonderful husband!
And we (the readers) are really lucky to have you as our ‘Scary Mommy’ blogger -b/c how would we get through our day otherwise?! You are one of the funniest, most creative persons I know!
Have a great birthday week!
Jamie- Thanks so much!!! I love that you read this and we’ve never even met!
Have a wonderful birthday yourself :)
what a beautifully written blog! you guys are wonderful together and always up for new challenges….and manage to keep your life far from boring. If Lily or the other kids did not inherit Jill’s artistic abilities, well at least they can inherit incredible writing skills from both of you!
I hope you had a great bday Jill and I miss you so much!
love,
yana
There could be no better birthday gift than a man professing his undying love for a woman. OMG what a great writer! Your story is a lot like Joe’s and mine. I wasn’t looking for love – after a bit of studying, WHAM…now I’m married to him!
Happy Birthday Kid!
Wait until you hit 40… then you’ll remember that 30 wasn’t all that bad.
You have a man who loves you, three sweet kids… and no horse… er, which is a good thing.
That was an amazing tribute he wrote. I’m in tears over here! :-) Happy belated bday.
Happy Late Birthday and congrats on being the SITS blog of the day. You have a great blog here and some adorable kids. And after reading this post, I think one of the best husbands in the world. I hope if … err when…I find someone that I’m as lucky as you two seem to be.
Wow.
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