Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Every night in our house there comes a moment when Jeff and I start jockeying for a free pass on the nighttime parenting rituals. We go back and forth comparing our days: I got up at 5. Well, I had to fly to New York. I got up at two o’clock in the morning to deal with a bed-wetter and had to take all of the the kids for flu shots. But, I had to fire someone and present a powerpoint in front of 500 people. And so on. Whoever is deemed the winner of the “woe is me” awards is the one who can sit out the teeth brushing or story reading or homework assisting.
Last night was a toughie.
I had a fine day: Dropped a smiling Lily off at the bus stop. Worked at Starbucks for most of it and managed to get quite a bit of work done. Ran to Target to buy diapers. Not bad.
He got up before five o’clock in the morning to drive to the airport to fly to Chicago wearing a business suit. Took a train to his office there and had back-to-back meetings for five hours. At the end of the day, he walked four blocks to the train, rode it back to the airport, flew back to DC and drove home, arriving well after eight.
No brainer, right? He wins.
Except that I got puked on upon picking Ben up from school. Like, all over puked on. Down the shirt, seeping into the bra and in my hair. Cheesy, curdled vomit. It was pretty gross.
Guess who won and got to sit out the teeth brushing for some blog writing?
It seems a little puke goes a long way in the house. But, I’ll take it any day over business travel in a suit.
{ 90 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband and I also bicker over who has to put my son to bed and give him his bath. (My baby daughter is in bed by 6, which is when he gets home, so I think he should always have to do it.) One of us does the bath, the other does the dishes. I feel a little bad, though, about our reluctance. One day, I’m going to be nostalgic for the days my son wanted our company, when we could “fish” in the bath and read a bedtime story. But usually, I just want a few minutes to myself. I guess this is what it’s all about: wanting alone time, and then, when the kids are grown and gone, wanting them back.
aw, i think i just got a little sad.
Me, too. That’s so very true. I think if my kids were ready for bed a little earlier, it wouldn’t be so bad. By the time they’re ready, though, we’re exhausted! But, yes, I’m sure I will miss this too soon. Sniff.
We take turns on the bedtime routine. Three days on, three days off. Before we instituted this, we were constantly bickering about who had to do it. It works for us.
Btw, I went to the gyno the other day. As I was walking out of the elevator in the medical building, there was a lady sitting in a wheelchair holding one of those plastic bedpans to her chest. As if on cue, that woman threw up into the bedpan, and beyond, WAY beyond, just as I stepped off the elevator. I can handle kid puke, but grown up puke? OMFG. I was gagging. I practically ran away from her. I felt like such an asshole, but it was either that or there would have been a much bigger mess.
Puke wins. Or loses. Depending on how you look at it.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..36 =-.
Ewwww. I was very impressed that I didn’t puke back all over him. I have a pretty weak stomach, too.
Yep, I’m with Cara. Puke wins out every time!
I’m never opposed to using the kids to get the husband to help with the bedtime routine. “Do you want daddy to tuck you in?”, “Would you rather read to Daddy?”….Works every time. If the kids want him, he’s a pushover.
Now, ask me if that hurts my feelings? yeah, NO! lol
.-= Chris´s last blog ..A Good Week, so far. =-.
*shudders*
I HATE being puked on… it’s the most horrible thing ever! Yay you! ;) x
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..Playing with Photoshop… =-.
I have faked sleep more than once to get out of night time rituals ;)
.-= Erin´s last blog ..And then there were no more gays…… =-.
So has Jeff. I’m going to have to try that.
Amen – to taking puke over business travel in a suit! You totally won that one fair and square!
Vomit trumps all!
No matter what.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Hiding =-.
yes, puke wins, but as the parent of three nearly grown children (they will always be my children)..i miss those days when they wanted me to put them to bed (and those days when they went to sleep BEFORE me!) i don’t usually say, “just wait and you will see” because you didn’t ask my advice, but i so miss those snuggly nights (albeit NOT the puke)…enjoy them while you can.
puke vs. airplanes? I don’t know, it’s a close one!
.-= Sharon´s last blog ..Chocolate Milk =-.
–>Vomit is an instant declaration of Winner, winner, chicken dinner!……oh wait, that didn’t come out right. ;-)
~deb
.-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Tech Tip: Creating an Add This Button =-.
We just take turns. Easy. And if one of us is super sick or something then the other one takes up the slack, but otherwise it is his night, my night, his night, my night. And we both do bedtime. We just split the kids. He gets one and I get one and we are done in a few minutes.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Memory Lapse =-.
Maybe it’s the SAHM in me, but travelling to New York and the like doesn’t seem so bad.
My husband and I have a routine, I get 2, he gets 1, after he brushes everybody’s teeth.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..“Helping” Hand =-.
When he stays over and gets a quiet night in a hotel, I don’t feel so badly! But the thought of flying twice in a suit and working all day? That makes me want to, um, puke. ;)
Interestingly, this is almost never a debate in our house. When we’re both home (usually every night), and we each get one child. They both take a bath together and then we alternate each night who gets to put which child down. That way they each feel like they get some focused time with one of us every night.
Of course, if ever a 3rd comes into the mix, I have no idea how we’d handle it. Hopefully by then they will have figured out how to make temporary clones.
.-= Mariano´s last blog ..Small Business, Big Voices, Episode 11: Terry Viney, The Plus Factor =-.
Oh my goodness!! Nothing like the kids riding on the vomit comet. At least you scored some blogging time.
Yeah, puke pretty much wins. I am so happy that my kids are older. I just text them “go brush your teeth and “good night” and then they stop by my room on their way to bed to give me a kiss good night. Gotta love it.
I am so sorry about that puke. But glad you got a few minutes of peace and (clean non-stinky) quiet! I really can’t stand putting kids to bed. For some reason, by that time of the day I am DONE.
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Fishful in New York =-.
As one of your last remaining single friends, I learn so much about marriage from your blog!
Yeah, I think puke trumps airplanes, especially curdled chunks.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..The depths of her sorrow… =-.
It’s the same in our house, especially around bath time! The “puke card” is my trump card. That and “I had to walk ALL the dogs today!” We have 4.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
yup, hands down vomit wins every single time.
well played. Well. Played.
.-= domestic extraordinaire´s last blog ..Weekly Winners-Shots of our daily life Edition =-.
High five to you winner!!
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Austria and Update =-.
I just blogged about the joys of being a mother! I cleaned up puke all day yesterday too, and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
.-= Keyona´s last blog ..For The Last Time =-.
Your husband is a trooper! Here we just take turns every other day putting our daughter to bed. Sometimes if one of us has a bad day the other will offer, but I don’t think my husband would consider being vomited on a good enough reason.
I would have to be vomited on and my internet connection would have to be down. Or something equally traumatic.
.-= Coma Girl´s last blog ..Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper =-.
omg! What’s with all the vomit lately! I just did a post about vomit too! It is the grossest thing in the world and without a doubt in the world, you win. hands down, you win. vomit trumps all. xo
http://www.smoresforbreakfast.com
VOMIT TRUMPS ALL. I just did a post today about vomit as well. It is the grossest thing in THE WORLD. xo
I think you won!!
.-= Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Dangle your feet (or paws) Wordless Wednesday =-.
How is Ben? That is my question here. And where was Evan during all this? I expected him to be the one puking.
Totally fine! He snapped out of it pretty quickly and was fine all night and today. So strange!!
What was it with the puking yesterday? Miss M. puked several times and I know three other bloggers who were in the same boat, too. Unofficial Puke Day?
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Born-Again Virgin! Umm, Sorta. =-.
No kidding!! It really must have been– it was everywhere!
Um, yes you win hands down!
Hell YEAH vomit wins. And because it seeped into your bra, you should get a free pass on the laundry as well!
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Last night =-.
LOL, seriously. It’s all still soaking in the machine. Ugh.
Both my girls go to bed at the same time and since my youngest is still nursing at night each of us takes a kid for bedtime duty. SOmetimes he lucks out and gets out of teeth brushing or potty assistance with the oldest but he almost ALWAYS does books with her.
I’m curious to see how the dynamic will change as they get older
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Olympic Adventures =-.
I don’t know if I’d take the puke over business travel in a suit as a man. That’s the key. Easy-peasy traveling all gussied up in a man’s shoes and cozy socks and suit.
.-= patois´s last blog ..Village People, Only Not Dressed So Wingnut Except Me =-.
It is different here. I am a sahm so I have Blaze all the time. I cook and clean and do laundry and pay bills and all the other stuff related to a child like doctors, dentists and so forth. I do bath most nights but Chris always does bedtime. That is their bonding thing. I told him I have nap time and you have bedtime and that stuck. he doesn’t ever argue about it he loves it. But I still would rather put him to sleep some nights and let Chris clean the kitchen or wash clothes lol. The grass is always greener isn’t it…;).
You won-hands down! Anything that has to deal with vomit is an immediate pass. It’s the one thing I have a hard time dealing with in regards to the kids. It’s nice to know that my husband and I are not the only parents who try to get out of the bedtime routine. I know it’s sweet and they won’t let you tuck them in for long and we should appreciate it, but by that time at night I’m done. Stick a fork in me kind of done.
.-= ~Laura´s last blog ..Comfort Zone =-.
Amen to that!
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Rock Star Potato Soup – Go Figure =-.
LOL sometimes we do this too. I’ll take the older one any day over the baby. He’s too stubborn
.-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..wisdom from the S Club =-.
Whoops – I hope you don’t get sick! Is Ben okay?
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I’m scared of my dog =-.
Thanks! He seems totally fine– I’m hoping it was just a fluke!
Wow, there are like a billion comments on here. You’re like the most popular kid in school. And my comment seems so repetitious but dude, puke wins every contest there is. You have a story that puke is a part of, you win. So anyway, I’m sorry you got horked on but at least you got to sit out on the bedtime ritual and take a well-deserved break, right?
.-= Tricia´s last blog ..TTC Craziness =-.
So true…the puke does get an extra amount of sympathy doesn’t it. And how is it that we (the mommy’s) are typically the ones getting puked on? You know what I wish I could get sympathy for…sucking Q-Tip’s nose out by myself! Farm Boy always needs help with this yet I do it alone all day long. On days like today that is when there is a substantial amount of snot.
We have a night time routine here. Farm Boy does bath, lotioning, and diapering…I do rocking and singing. It works for us.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Sucky Day =-.
So would I. Puke washes off. The stress of a commute? Notsomuch.
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..Debbie Does Dallas 14: “My Gym Locker Room” =-.
Exactly!!!
Oh man, that’s disgusting. I’ve been there too, it’s disgusting. You totally win.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Top 10 Reasons My Husband is a Better Dad Than I Could Be =-.
Dear, Dear Jill and all the moms…
As the mother of a 26 year old (who will always be my baby) let me assure each and every one of you that, YES…PUKE WINS…HANDS DOWN (hopefully not in the puke). I still nearly hurl when I hear someone hurl… I never got quite used to that one. But, these will be known as the good ol’ days when your daughter comes home with her new boyfriend and states, “Hi, mom. Meet my new friend, Twitch.” I’ll take a bucket of spew anyday over that.
Be well,all…
I save the bickering, and who had the worse day because I always seem to lose; and just do it all myself (the teeth brushing, book reading, tucking in)…except homework, he always helps with homework cause it is usually math and well I just suck at math. But yes, I would say being puked on should ALWAYS win. ;)
.-= Kel´s last blog ..Monday Night is Movie Night =-.
haha. i always take bedtime. SO much better than getting up with the kids at 5am!
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Cookies! Everything is Better with Cookies! =-.
I once wrote whole post devoted to puke. It’s the one thing that expetant parents just don’t think about… Poop and spit up, yes – but vomit? No. Once Eleanor threw up on me when I picked her up from daycare. Luckily I had Chris’ dry cleaning in the car and could change into one of his work shirts.
I absolutely think you win on this one.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Bald Ponies and Darwin’s Parallel Universe =-.
The husband and I play the same game. What usually works for me is when I remind him of what he always tells me – “you have to take care of a 2 year old all day, so your job is MUCH more difficult than mine!” Funny he says that since while he’s working hard at being a lawyer all day, I’m just playing with our kid and blogging during his 3 hour nap.
But, I let him think what he already believes. Ha!
-Aimee
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Review & Give-Away! Skin MD Natural Shielding Lotion =-.
Okay, really!? Was the attempt to get us all to puke on the keyboard? I am going to make your day even better with an award yeah!
Jill. you and hubs are very fortunate to have this type of relationship. I did all of the parenting rituals, cleaned up the vomit, the cat piss and the dog poop. Now, I’m D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D (but happy).
.-= Pippi´s last blog ..Are Those Pigtails In Your Hair Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? =-.
In my house – puke always wins. ALWAYS.
.-= JenniferG´s last blog ..Love & Linkage! =-.
that description of puke was so, um, descriptive. yucky.
i am actually envious you get to take turns at bedtime. we still do every bedtime (possible) together mostly because the baby is already such a mama’s boy we don’t want dad to be bad cop. (or so he says …)
.-= tara´s last blog ..weekly winners :: end of february 2010 =-.
Puke is the consummate royal flush of parenting. Glad you got a well-deserved reprieve!
(So sad I cannot make it to Bloggy Bootcamp this weekend! Have a GREAT time…and tell Tiffany Twinfatuation Cheryl says “Hi!”)
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Way Back Wednesday: Romeo in Retrospect =-.
Oh, poor Ben. I hope he is all better now. Waking up at four anything and putting a suit on would make me die!!! : (
Puke wins every time! Although having to be awake before dawn, is one of the reasons I quit my day care assistants’ job.
.-= helen´s last blog ..Got Articles? =-.
Agh! We do the same thing at our house. Except I’m home all day with said child so think I should automatically get a pass.
Sorry about the vomit. Hope Ben feels better.
We just finished a two week stint of the baby puking every day, once a day. Puke is definitely the worse. I guess dealing with a sick kid, in general, is the worse. Hope he is feeling better!
.-= Alecia´s last blog ..Unorthodox Treadmilling =-.
We call it the “P” Patrol. Whoever was on P Patrol that day (cleaning up any number of bodily fluids starting with “p” … and there are many) gets to park it on the couch after dinner. Usually, I win (lose?).
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Stops and Starts =-.
I am up right now reading your blog because I just got puked on. Actually I just got done cleaning myself and our bed off. It is 3:00am!! And I can’t go back to sleep so here I am.
yes you definitely won!! That is for sure. But I have to agree I would rather wear puke than a suit any day! That is funny. Thank you for the smile tonight when I just wanted to throw my hands up and cry.
.-= This Mama Works It!´s last blog ..I Have About 10 or More Fabulous Blog Post Floating Around In My Head But Instead Of Writing… =-.
So this is what I have to look forward to when me and the fiance have kids.
I think this post and the post with the description of Lilys birth has put me off of having kids for a few years haha. At least until you post more pictures of your adorable children.
Oh HELL NO! I like wearing suits and flying to Chicago and taking the train and even sometimes like all-day meetings. I do not like puke. Which is funny, considering how much I usually drink in Chicago. Sometimes there is puke involved, now that I think about it …
.-= San Diego Farmgirl´s last blog ..Best Bread Recipe #1: Anadama Bread =-.
Lucky you! :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Bathroom Facelift =-.
That post could just have well been me talking about my own house. Two working parents plus two kids equal one nutty household!!
Love your blog!
Sadie at heyMamas
Oh I don’t know. I might have to go for the suit. I don’t do the “V”word very well…
Glad you won though…
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..WW – Reality =-.
I’m afraid you aren’t a mom until you’ve experienced every bodily function up close and personal…
My son once vomited on my bedroom floor while my husband and I were out. That’s not the bad part.
This is…
When we got home all I saw was a puke-puddle that was bright red! I freaked! I literally thought someone was dying, bleeding internally, headed for the ER for sure! As it turned out, he had downed an entire bag of fire hot cheetos. The very disturbing mess was merely his stomach revolting against his new, fave snack. God love em…
I hope, hope, hope Ben doens’t have what we all had in my family. I guess the stomach fllu is going around. It took me down Sunday, bro-in-law, Monday and Sis Tuesday. It really sucked as I was visiting them! Fortunalty it didn’t happen while I was baby sitting for the weekend . Several others in the family are now coming down with it. In fact they were all at a wedding in DC last weekend, while I was babysitting. It’s now Thursday and I still have no appetite ( I guess that’s a good thing!). Good luck!
What a cost of winning, but hey you won!!!!
.-= Suzicate´s last blog ..Information Overload And The Quilt Show =-.
Sounds like Puke trumps all!!! nice! What a cute way to decide who gets a break at night! No Marriage ref for you guys!!
.-= Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..The Marriage Ref =-.
I wish we had more of those kind of discussions. I am the bedtime parent except for Thursdays. Thursday night is my night ~ to veg and watch Grey’s. I’ll take it, I didn’t even used to get thursdays. :) Sorry about the puke. We had bright green poop today. :)
.-= Jackie Lee´s last blog ..Planning a 4 Year Old Party =-.
We have that argument in our house ALL the time. But usually there’s no winner in the whose-day-sucked-worse wars; it’s a stalemate. I’d like to THINK my hubs would give me a free pass for puke, but I can’t be sure.
.-= Mom2Miles´s last blog ..Clothes Call =-.
Oh my- puke definitely wins! I’m with you on taking it over business travel- don’t miss that at all!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Lesser Known DC Metro Children’s Museums =-.
I hear you, some nights it feels like we are having a competition to see whose LIFE is the hardest!
.-= Christie´s last blog ..Learning to Listen =-.
This sounds exactly like the conversations I have with my husband nightly!
.-= Lanita Moss´s last blog ..I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane… =-.
I don’t know…I think I might prefer business travel…at least you can take your jacket off and use it as a pillow for a nap :-)
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Welcome Back =-.
Vomit wins every time. Or at least that’s what I say, because I get puked on a lot. And it’s way NOT awesome. One time I got puked on AT the preschool. All down my coat and all over the floor. That was a bummer.
.-= Stimey´s last blog ..Quinn the Muse =-.
No doubt about it…..puke RULES.
PS…my technique for avoiding the bedtime routine? I suddenly get REALLY busy with something else, like cleaning the kitchen or folding and sorting the laundry. Works like a charm cuz The Husband has NO interest in either of those chores.
The pros of puke. genius.
.-= Texasholly´s last blog ..In these here parts Holly is known as Fierce Trapper … =-.
Vomit trumps everything. Enough said.
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Jumping for Joy =-.
Well, at least something good came of it HAHA!
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..I was blind-sided =-.
Ya know—-I am thinking I could really start staging some curdled vomit situations to try and get out of the bed time thing. I have been sitting in the triplets room for over 45 mintues—–and they are still chirping..chirping..chirping…
“NO MORE talking, I say”….but they don’t hear me because they only speak chirp and, well, I guess I just don’t. Because they just don’t listen. Ever.
sorry ’bout that. I know it’s a no-no when the link doesn’t work. My bad. I so wish I could be sent to my room.
.-= The Grasshoppa: Triplet Plus Two Momma´s last blog ..The Twilight Zone =-.
Ugh, i cant do puke. i seriously have a fear of vomiting, so if there is puke involved, its daddy’s turn. sick baby and sleep disrupted baby are the worst. we’ve gotten into a little backwards sleep routine with adonis. his days and nights have become mixed up, and him and i got into a fight last night because even though i slept from 6 am to 4 pm with the baby, i was exhausted and tired of sleeping all day and being up all night. in the end i gave up, and stayed awake. i think this is so funny because we do the same thing! Its just a shame that being with the baby all day isnt really a get out of jail free card in my home. Especially after he has a full day of work. All night it was “well i was up all night” “well, i worked all day,” “well you have off tomorow” “well if i sleep now i can try to flip his schedule” haha funny how much you try to make sure the other is completely happy and comfortable until kids. then its every man’s sanity for itself!