I really hate to judge, but “Helicopter Moms” have always driven me totally crazy. I frequently roll my eyes at that mother who hovers over her children at the playground or a friend’s house, rarely letting them out of her site. The mother who has so many issues that her poor children aren’t allowed to have any good, old fun. How annoying are they?
I was pretty easy-going with Lily and by the time Evan came around, I was as mellow as jello. Whether the kids are at the park, the pool or playing with each other, I am able to totally tune out the chaos and noise, and just let the kids be kids. I think it’s better for everyone that way.
This summer, however, something changed. My children decided to actually… swim at the pool. To dunk underwater without the aid of floaties, vests or an adult. To kick their legs and pump their arms and actually move in the water. Gone were the days that they fearfully clung to me and were content playing under the fountain in the kiddie pool. And with those days, my peaceful afternoons in the water were over. They have become heart-stopping adventures as my elder children plunge confidently underwater for endless moments.
With them in the water, I am that annoying mother who holds my breath and can’t engage in a conversation because my eyes are glued solely on them. I grip the rail, palms turning white and heart rate quickened. I watch them, filled with a combination of pride and fear, realizing that I have become that mother I so despise. Only once they are draped in towels and headed home can I fully exhale.
I guess that Helicopter Moms aren’t so horrible after all. At least pool-side.
Previous post: Grocery Shopping for Dummies
Next post: The Misadventures of a Third Child
{ 53 comments }
← Previous Comments
Your post made me smile! At first, I thought you meant moms who fly helicopters or work in them. (See how egocentric we are, even on a good day: I used to hop in and out of helicopters as an Army officer, and I had kids at the time, so “helicopter mom”!). I enjoyed the metaphor once I realized what it was! Apropos! And funny!
.-= Elizabeth Mahlou´s last blog ..Monday Morning Meditation #3: Legacies from the Tower of Babel =-.
never heard that term before, but I’m not a mom (can I still join the club though?)
I thought you meant like soccer moms but with a shitload more money. LOL!
.-= dawn´s last blog ..banana-coconut cheesecake bars w/ rum soaked cherries =-.
I am right there with ya! Hate the helicopter moms but good LORD! Bram is going to give me a heart attack this summer. If I have yelled, “WHERE’S BRAM!” once, I have yelled it 1000000 times. And the funny thing is, my eyes are never off of him, I just expect him to come up for air sooner than apparently he needs to. Ugh!
.-= court´s last blog ..School time wine glass swap! =-.
Hey, I learned a new phrase today: Helicopter Mom. Thanks!
.-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Why Are You Talking to Me? =-.
I totally get this post. My mother is a helicopter grandma. I get so annoyed with her when she hovers over my son. I come from a family of fear based people, and a brother who lives his life from his room, afraid of the world. I don’t want to pass this down to my kid. But, yes there are times that I feel like my own mother. Maybe it’s ok at times….? I want my kid to be fearless….almost.
Any time there is an open body of water near your children, you get a pass.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..And You Just KNOW I’ll Be “Plumpy.” =-.
Oh, I hear you! Stella started swimming too this summer, and since then, pool = anxious time for me. I can barely recognize myself.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Stamp of approval: talented indie jewelry designers =-.
I admit, I am a semi-heli. I have gotten a lot better with each subsequent child. But when it comes to water, I’m pretty sure I will always hover. Water is scary.
.-= Missy´s last blog ..Clutter =-.
I think I might be guilty on this one. I just got back from the zoo. We go all the time…it’s right there in the city. That said…it’s like hearding cats! They are just everywhere. I hate being outnumbered:P
.-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Horse Thieving 101 =-.
Ohhh, been there, done that, so many times. Actually, every time we move, the first month of trips to the new playground is full of nothing but, “OMG DON’T DO THAT YOU’LL BREAK YOURSELF!” This move, in particular, was a bit on the traumatic side. All the other playgrounds we’d gone to were nicely fenced in. But oh, no, no. Not this one. This one is wide open space. Sure, it’s surrounded by houses and housing itself is, y’know, enclosed in fencing topped with barb wire, but still! You never know what could happen if they suddenly decided to run off. Hoooo boy. It’ll pass with time, though. And I’ll be pool-side, ready to have a heart attack next summer.
.-= LinLori´s last blog ..EEGad! =-.
I am the same way with my son. He’s four now. I’ve never been one to follow on his heels making sure he doesn’t fall or, gods forbid, get dirty, but when it comes to the pool I drive him nuts. He even tells me “Mom, stop following me, go away!” I’m already an embarrassment to him! I do yell out the occasional “Get down before you smash your head! Do you WANT to go to the ER?” But beyond that, I let my son have a lot of independence, except of course when he could drown in seconds flat. So I think you can keep your “not a helicopter mom” title.
Oh, not sure what the etiquette is for a first time comment, so hi, I’m Nikki. I found your blog through One Nerve Left, which I found through Rock and Drool, from a referral through Suburban Oblivion. It’s always nice to run amok down strange avenues and find cool stuff.
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Yoplait Whips Giveaway =-.
I love pools, but they scare the crap out of me too. I’m all over that like a fly on a turd…
Helicoptering is totally acceptable, and preferable, at the pool!! Now mine are both on the swim team, but that still doesn’t keep me from cringing every time the little one jumps into the deep end.
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Blame it on Aunt Becky =-.
Oh I do this every time they swim, it’s amazing how long the buggers can hold their breath isn’t it!? I am normally not the mom running every time something happens but OMG in the water if they don’t come up soon enough I jump up and bolt to the water. Freaks.me.out. I could have written the same thing. We have a 3ft pool they can touch in it and both my older 2 have had numerous swim lessons and swim very well and I still panic, my youngest wears a life jacket at all times (well for the most part) at the pool and can’t get it off on his own and I still panic when I don’t see him for 2 seconds. Water can be scary stuff with kids.
I think it’s normal. At a pool or playground, BAD things can happen and there are people who lurk around waiting for that mom not to look for a second, long enough to snatch her kid. So, I think it’s OK to keep a constant eye. Now, if we are at someone’s house I am totally fine with them in the other room while I am sipping a cocktail in the next one over!
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Roasted Veggie Pitas =-.
From reading some of these comments I think some of you may be in line for a heart attack!
If I could offer any sort of advice, I would suggest that you look at things from a different perspective. My mother had a nice saying that hung on her wall ever since I can remember through my 33 years. It reads.. “Prepare the child for the path.. not the path for the child”. She reinforced this by letting my brother and I become complete independent people while preserving her sanity.
I have employed this tactic with my own daughter as my wife and I raise her the best we can. The simple truth is that your child will never be able to deal with a problem if the problem is always solved for them. In this case, enroll your child in swimming lessons. Its fun for them and you can even be in the water with them! They teach kids how to swim, how to be safe and even how to alert others when they see problems. Wouldn’t that help alleviate your sanity the next time at a pool when you have confidence that your child knows how to be safe around water and alert you when something is wrong?
You cannot protect your child 100% of the time for the rest of their lives. If they never learn how to deal with problems then you have set them up for failure later in life while making you feel better in the early years. It may be very reassuring hovering over your child, but it is a very selfish thing to do. I am all for safety, but stressing constantly will never end without confidence in your child to know and do the right things. Your job as a parent is to give your child the tools and skills neccesary to be a independant person. They will be there before you know it and by then it will be too late!
← Previous Comments
Comments on this entry are closed.