I love comments. I crave comments. The little ding my e-mail makes when I have a new one has me dashing to the computer to see who said what. It’s flattering to have people react to the words you’ve written or parts of you that you share. Any blogger who claims not to care about comments is lying. Comments are what make a blog a blog, rather than just a diary.
Through comments, I’ve learned valuable sleeping tips and tonsillectomy recovery ideas and potty training tricks. I’ve learned where to buy things I couldn’t find myself and how to make the perfect ballerina bun. I’ve laughed really hard, and often thought that someones spur of the moment comment far rivaled my well planned out post.
Commenting is also a great way to gain readers– when you say something witty and entertaining on someone else’s blog, chances are people will want to follow you to your blog. But there are also some comments that ensure that they (or at least, I) won’t. And I seem to be getting quite a few lately. So, I present you with the top commenters I’d rather be without:
1. The Cut & Pasters: The most irritating commenter is the one who leaves a million comments such as “great post!” or “love it here!” clearly without having ever read a single word. It’s as if they’re trying to gain credit by hitting as many blogs as possible, except nobody is keeping score but them. While there are times when a simple word says it all, it’s obvious when the commenter has actually read the post or not. And that’s kind of the point.
2. The Shameless Pluggers: If you have something relevant to link, go ahead, but just posting “I have a great giveaway, be sure to visit!” pisses the hell out of me. Maybe add it at the end of a relevant comment. Maybe, but at least make an effort to say something else first. And what about the people who insist on leaving their url everywhere they visit? If your comment is worth following, I’ll click on your avatar and be brought to your blog. Typing it out won’t help you gain any readers.
3. The Inappropriate Commenters: Comments should be relevant to the post they accompany. This isn’t my Facebook wall, so don’t use the comment space for random thoughts or messages. See that mailbox icon above? Use that to e-mail me. Please.
4. The Spammers: It’s bad enough that my inbox is filled with girls from Russia who want to marry me and illegal drug suggestions, but my blog gets inundated too? That’s not cool. {The Akismet plug-in kills 99% of these, but before I installed it I was getting 100 or so a day.}
5. The Anonymous Pricks: Some of my favorite comments ever have had opposing views to mine. Well, that’s not true– my favorite tell me how witty and pretty I am, but I do very much appreciate when someone takes the time to present me with a differing point of view. But, only if that person has the balls to use their name. Otherwise, they’re just asking to be deleted. And I’m not afraid to do that.
6. The Un-Reachables: When I was on Blogger, nothing drove me crazier than someone asking me a question in a comment and finding “no-reply-comment@blogger. com” as the return address. Then, I am forced to respond to the question on their blog which isn’t appropriate or not respond at all which is even ruder. And fake e-mail addresses? Oy. Get a life.
7. The Paybackers: The “thanks for visiting my blog today” folks are not only rude, but insulting. While it is much appreciated when a blogger pays you a return visit, by simply thanking you for visiting them, they are making your little corner of the web about their blog. Same with “visiting from xyz!” You can’t find anything else to say along with that? Then don’t.
Did I miss any of your pet peeves? What drives you crazy? Or are you all too afraid to comment?
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hey, I have an opposing viewpoint, and I’m using my name. :^) Sometimes when I visit a blog, I want to acknowledge the effort they put into blogging because it touched me somehow but I don’t want to get into detail, so sometimes I just get on and say, great post today. Or I love this blog and it doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention, just that I didn’t have anything else to say but wanted to acknowledge you.
lauren’s last blog post..did you know
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In response to your part 1, the cut & pasters. It is actually a major benefit for the cut and pasters since Google recongizes the link to their website as plus. The more people linking to your site, the more credibility Google thinks you have.
Just an FYI :)
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@lauren: That’s sometimes the case, but from your standpoint, you have to be careful, because Akismet will often mark short posts like that as spam. At least, that’s what I’ve noticed.
I agree with most of your points here. However, there are some times that I don’t mind/actually encourage backlinking (as you call, “shameless pluggers”), and I do it myself often, and that’s when I’m doing a large web roundup. For example, if I’m writing a post like “50 Awesome Tutorials for Bloggers”, I’m going to manually visit each tutorial and leave a message for the author such as “These are some really great tips, featured it here: ” and then include the post address. The main reason that I do it is a common courtesy, because when I search the web and find random sites linking back to me and featuring portions of my content, it makes me worry about how many sites might be ripping me off. :P
Eric Shafer’s last blog post..30 Awesome Anime Illustrations from Blasting Art
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I’ve had people comment in my threads by posting their own affiliate links to sell items that I’ve already affiliate-linked in the post, which I think is pretty rude. I don’t run my site with the aim of selling guitar gear but I don’t want others to treat it as an open forum to make money off my writing.
Peter’s last blog post..NEWS: Dean Dave Mustaine Rust In Peace VMNT now shipping
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Great post!
(Sorry, I just <> resist it!)
Steve Collis’s last blog post..My Class has a Conversation with the World
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Yes, I too have sinned in the past and now consider myself suitably chastised! I too have just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I have read someone’s blog and let them know a real person visited. Mybe I’m not intelligent enough to be worthy who knows. But points are recieved and understood. I value any comment left on my blog with the exception of spam.
Pam’s last blog post..Gary Jules – Mad World
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Great post. I’m definitely going to subscribe.
For the record, that was not a copy-paste job…I typed out the whole thing. But seriously, you hit the nail on the head on some of my own pet peeves too. And thank God for Akismet. Sliced bread’s got nothing on that.
I also agree that I love reading comments others post on my blogs…I like to hear what people think!
Finally, just wanted to say I love the name of the blog, and GREAT pictures of your kids!
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I would add the ‘me first!’ers and the people who read your post so quickly that they miss a salient point of your argument and then demonstrate that fact by trying to make a real comment. Or the lime popsiclers, who bring up the last thing you mention in the post, the thing that’s not super important, and riff off that.
I hope I didn’t do any of those just now.
I also hope that it’s not a violation to skip reading all of the other comments, because you have like 106 and I’m just too damn lazy.
abdpbt’s last blog post..Heavy Breathing And Secondary Embarrassment
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Thanks for this info. I am a brand new blogger and am both overwhelmed and undereducated about blog etiquette. I have so much to learn. Thanks for helping me get started.
Dani (and this is the place where I would normally post my url but have learned from you it’s annoying. :) )
Dani Webb’s last blog post..Best T-Shirt Ever
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WHoah. I just posted my comment and there is a “Dani Webb’s Last Blog Post” link. I didn’t do that. But I’d love to learn how you set that up!
Dani Webb’s last blog post..Best T-Shirt Ever
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I found remaining anoymous to my benefit, much of what I say has capacity to give some folks ideas. Besides, I don’t want my mommy to worry, She belives she’ll be long dead before C. Change makes her world intolerable. As for The rest? It’s just human nature to piss peeps off with nasty replys, shameless self plugging and links to nowhere and for some reason I get popups from NetFlixs, really irritating! I like the lead-up to this particular piece, I could use some help navigating the information highway, So I’ll unlock my blog and ask as I tell. Thanks.
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Great post, the ones that get me are the people that post like 4 paragraph on stuff that does not pertain to the topic. I am not talking about spam but just rambling on and one about other things.
Vinny’s last blog post..Oh Dover Oh Dover, Jimmy Johnson Comes Over
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OH my gosh… I totally fall into the “Thanks for Visiting… ” but I always ADD something personal about what I read on their blog. REally, I do and I am sincere when I say thanks! I’m excited to get new readers!
Sue’s last blog post..Hot Mama, WHAT?
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appreciate your insight. i’m a little too straightforward for all these tricks, I wouldn’t do them (or even think of them) so it’s good for me to be aware of what’s happening.
Either you have very interesting hair or you’re wearing a cool hat and those kids are so damn cute.
I raised my two on my own for nearly 20 years. wouldn’t have traded a minute of it. One is finishing PhD. and the other just finished her masters. i did a good job and am so happy. I had a scary mother but she wasn’t as interesting or funny as you. you rock dolly. D
Deborah’s last blog post..Surprise? Find Yourself Online
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Great post! Whoops.
No honestly. You’ve made some really great points.
I’m guilty of being a CRAP commenter because I quite often have a sleeping baby in my arms. I WANT to write an essay… but one handed – it’s impossible, almost.
So I ended just wanting to acknowledge that I’ve read, or whatever and will end up writing. Great Post or Thanks For Sharing.
Dull. Boring. I suck.
Thanks for kicking my commenting butt.
Did I do okay?
fat mum slim’s last blog post..Bestest Giveaway EVER!
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These points hit the nail on the head. I love it when someone replies to a post I’ve written and suggests another link for me to check out that is relevant to the topic of my post – whether it’s from their own blog or not. There are always going to be new ideas and the point of a blog I think is to get the dialogue going and share information in a more personal way.
This is my first time on your site and while I’m not yet a mother I’ll certainly be back!
MC’s last blog post..Literal Video Version = Hilarious Concept
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Speaking of blogging etiquette, I find the words “prick,” “balls, and “pisses the hell” inappropriate for use in online content. Save these for verbal expressions on the construction site, wharf, or wherever the uncouth reside but do not use them in any written form on the Internet. They are unnecessary, improper and out of place. If you wish me to take you seriously, please use words that to do not offend or lower my expectations of what you are striving to communicate.
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When commenters don’t like your language – if you don’t like the content don’t read the blog.
Imogen Lamport’s last blog post..What is Age Appropriate Dressing
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I’m with you on many of these. But I’m okay with the “thanks for visiting” folks if they continue with a thought that’s relevate to what I wrote.
More than anything I’m not a fan of people who never bother to check out my blog. If I leave lots of comments on their blog (and I’m not talking about people who get hundreds…just the manageable amount) and I never get a response of any kind? I lose interest. You are right – bloggers are a community and a community communicates. We communicate through comments. Honestly, if I walked up to someone at a party and after several attempts at conversation got zero response from them, I’d walk away. What’s the point? That said – I don’t harbor any bad feelings – I just feel a tad miffed, then get over it and move on.
Kate Coveny Hood’s last blog post..I’ve Got Disco in My Soul
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
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Relevant points, well made. I don’t like keeping comments closed but between the spam and the promoters, I am learning to. I like your site and will return. I found you through Problogger’s post on Twitter.
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I love it when I get to see the most recent blog posts from commenters. It’s a great way to find new blogs to read. Thanks for putting that feature in your comment section!
Lynn from For Love or Funny’s last blog post..Tween conversations
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Almost makes me not want to comment – but where is the fun in that? I am so sure I violate a LOT of those on a regular basis. Such is life.
I will do my best to keep the blogging comment “rules” in mind as I navigate my way through this, um, clique, err….community.
HaB’s last blog post..(Theory): Boo Boo, Kiss It, Better – (Part II)
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Well boo hoo for you having so many comments that you get to criticize!! No one even reads my blog yet! Maybe that’s a good thing if the comments start making you crazy some day. You know I’m kidding and you are pretty and damn funny too!
April Greer’s last blog post..What’s Up Temecula?
Twitter: AprilSells
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I guess this post sparked a lot of controversy. I have been guilty of most of these things myself. Sorry.
I love your blog even though I didn’t want the diamond earrings…
swirl girl’s last blog post..The One in Which She Wonders …Is This Thing On??
Twitter: swirlgirlspearl
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I hear what you are saying… however, I don’t agree completely. Although, I have never had 100 + comments on a post before… so there you go.
I do think it is shady business to leave anonymous comments. It feels a lot like high school, having bad things said about you but not knowing who said them first. It makes me nauseous.
However, I don’t think your list is “etiquette” as much as it is a list of things that annoy you. Which is fine, because it is your blog, so you can say whatever you want to say.
Also, I apologize if I have committed any of these blogging sins before, and will try my best not to commit them again… at least on this site! :)
Amber’s last blog post..Swimtastic Summer
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Although I agree anonymous comments are annoying, I try to make it a rule never to delete a comment no matter how nasty it is. To me, it defeats the purpose.
Also number 3 bugs me to almost no end. I’ve gotten comments asking me how to install certain widgets on posts about something completely unrelated like ‘buying a used guitar’ for example.
blogging & social media’s last blog post..18 Ways to get free backlinks for your blog
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Although I agree anonymous comments are annoying, I try to make it a rule never to delete a comment no matter how nasty it is. To me, it defeats the purpose.
Also number 3 bugs me to almost no end. I’ve gotten comments asking me how to install certain widgets on posts about something completely unrelated like ‘buying a used guitar’ for example.
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Boy did you just nail it with this one! I have a commenter who does the cut & paste thingie…..and it’s NEVER relivant to what I posted. Then she wonders why I never visit her. I figure at least take the time to READ the post…or don’t bother taking the time to comment. Anonymous bitchers always make me want to scream…MAN UP for hell sakes! Great post….now we just need to get everyone in blogland to read it!!!
nikkicrumpet’s last blog post..♥ I WISH (it was still) WEDNESDAY ♥
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I have to say the “UnReachables” definitely tick me off the most. I want to email my readers, get to know them, start a conversation and I can’t do that when it says “no-reply comment”. I’m linking up to this post for my Sunday Stars!
Mel @ A Box of Chocolates’s last blog post..Narcissism At Its Best
Twitter: boxofchocolates
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Well, I do think you are beautiful and wonderful actually. I don’t know…I don’t have a very rocking blog so I’m happy for any comments..even if they do suck. I just get excited to get the e-mail. I do find it interesting though to get new followers from people who have never commented before or the e-mails from my family/real life friends commenting on my blog…but not actually leaving comments on my blog…
Julie B.’s last blog post..Lord, grant me the serenity…
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The Link Puker
This person has clearly not read the post (thus distinguished from people who share on-topic links that you or your reader might enjoy) but instead pukes out a rote message with a link or, usually, multiple links to sales, intimate personal services, etc.
I didn’t make up the name, but I love it. Link Puker. Hee!
Elizabeth Barrette’s last blog post..Fieldhaven at Night
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Great list, and insight into a couple of things I’d never thought of before.
I also hate the no reply blogger, but never realized that that’s what likely happens to my comments too .. d’oh! So maybe I should just leave an actual e:mail address?
The paybackers… I actually don’t mind if people thank me for visiting and commenting on their blog, and mention where they found me from. But if that’s the ONLY thing they’re doing, then that’s a bit annoying… I don’t mind it as a simple preface, but if it’s just “thanks for visiting my blog.” … blech! I’d like to think that they took a little time to read MY post :)!
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Living the dream
Twitter: karenmeg
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I’m a total comment whore. I try to leave as many quality comments as I can to put good karma out there, but the quality of comments I’ve been receiving lately has been disappointing. Some from great bloggers, too!
corrin’s last blog post..Bible Belt from Diane Birch
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That’s funny, I never thought of #7 as rude, but it really is, isn’t it? Might as well just say “I feel totally obligated to pay you a visit, but can’t be bothered to read through to find a relevant post that I can add to.” Hmmm…
Twitter: mymessyparadise
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Oh, the hatred of “anonymous pricks” is one I can totally get behind. If they can’t sign their names, it’s likely that what they’re saying is totally inappropriate. And they probably know it or they wouldn’t hide behind anonymity in the first place. Trolls should expect to be deleted. They get treated with precisely the same amount of respect they dole out.
I also hate the “soapboxers”. The people that use someone else’s blog comments section to plug their own agendas. They’re kind of like spammers, but more persistent and annoying. You know the ones … “you really need to … (blah, blah, blah) … road to salvation … (random mumbo jumbo) … Christ is Lord (yadda, yadda, yadda) …”. Yeah; I can’t stand that.
Momma Trish’s last blog post..Maddie’s Song
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I find what’s true about all good etiquette, is that it puts the feelings of others ahead of your own. I truly think some people are unaware of how transparent they are. Recently I’ve had people follow me on twitter, I follow them back and visit their blog, and maybe comment. Then if they do end up visiting my blog, leave a comment of the “thanks for visiting my blog variety.” They are really achieving the opposite of what they set out to do. BTW – clearly, you are witty and pretty. Ive been visiting your website, and am commenting for the first time. Usually I get so caught up in scrolling through your comments that by the time I get to the bottom, I have to scroll up to to refresh my memory. Then the phone rings, I have to be somewhere, blah, blah. Which makes me think blog visitors should perhaps have the option comment closer to the top? Not really a peeve, but I’d comment more on popular blogs if that were the case.
Margo M’s last blog post..First Day of Summer Break
Twitter: gomarwrites
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Man, I should of read this BEFORE I posted my first comment on your blog. I broke 7 out of 10, but with all do respect I AM russian and I DO want to marry you.
Ilona Siller’s last blog post..TOP 10 REASONS WHY BEING AN OLDER MOTHER KICKS ASS
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Hey just popped in from Angies Circus and I really love your blog.
I wish you would come by and see mine…I’m hosting a giveaway soon.
Mama Kat’s last blog post..Week Of Fun: I Know Things Will Be Fine BUT…
Twitter: mamakatslosinit
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You are smart and hawt and I couldn’t agree with you more.
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana´s last blog ..Essential Elements of Summer
Twitter: Texasholly
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Just coming back to tell you that I gave your post a little PROP this morning! (Still loving this and really wish others would take the time to THINK before leaving those “WOW!” comments or “GREAT PIC” even though there is no pic in the post.)
Rock on Momma
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i love this post. really. i do. it completely crackered me up ;)
Heather @ Romper Room Gone Wild´s last blog ..Yes, they are all mine.
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Yeah, I’m one of those people who say “Thank you for your post” I always feel like you took the time, I should say it back; but I also still send thank you cards to people who come to our parties, so maybe I’m old school. I guess when I get 41 comments on my posts I won’t have time! :) I only get like 2 or 3….BTW, cool post!…snort
Dawn´s last blog ..Tuesday Tip – Shamelessly Borrowed
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Thank you for these tips. I’m far from a new blogger but I am a new blogger looking for followers and it’s good to know what not (in your opinion anyways to do!).
I did make a new email address just for myblog ;)
priscilla´s last blog ..My friend gets to see her husband.
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Hi there
Just read and loved your lists of how not to comment! I have only been blogging for a short time and also get excited when I see a comment, but so far they have only been from people I know and I have been looking forward to seeing comments from strangers-only maybe not so much after reading your list. Now I feel cautious-maybe no comment is better than a weak comment! Thanks for the list, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Kelly Smith´s last blog ..Knock knock? Not again!
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I hate post-length comments. It’s like wearing white to a wedding. Get your own blog or get to the point. Please.
Deb´s last blog ..Sibling scripts
Twitter: noreturnmom
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So if I comment, it should be short and to the point, but not TOO short cuz then it’s obvious that I’m too stupid to read the whole post and I should absolutely NOT say “thank you” even though I’m a brand new blogger and I’m enormously thankful to every. single. person. who spends their time at my blog? Got it.
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I agree 100% with your comments. One thing to also consider – when people are new to the blogging (like myself), they tend to not have a clue what they’re doing, right, wrong or middling. They’re just grateful to end up …somewhere!
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If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.
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I know you posted this months ago, but I just wanted to chime in and suggest that you also install Spam-Free. I haven’t had one spam comment slip through in the past two years over three separate blogs. It’s that good!
Kat´s last blog ..My House is a Mess
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I think these are excellent points… but as many other commenters have said, taken always with the understanding that there are some sincere “great post!” writers out there.
I was actually thinking about organizing a Commenting Etiquette Day with a bunch of bloggers (to educate readers/lurkers about why and how commenting is done), but it seems you’ve covered most of the important bases. :-)
Twitter: toopretty4this
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