How to be a Good Wife

Want to Know How to be a Good Wife?

With three young kids, jobs, a new house and just general life, my marriage could use some TLC. Sure, my husband knows that I love him. But, do I love him well? Turns out, I have some things to learn.

Imagine how excited I was when I stumbled upon an inspirational site. There is a challenge called “Loving Him Well” that just started this week. By participating in this two month commitment, I’ll make my man happier and more fulfilled. Through that, I will become more fulfilled myself. For, a happy husband makes a happy wife. That’s what it’s all about!

This enlightening video lays out the plan:

Are you excited? I’m super excited! Here are the weeks that I’m especially looking forward to:

Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day.

Bonus: Fast and pray for him one day this week. (I especially love the idea of combining the fasting and the praying. Two of my most favorite things!)

Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him.

For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc. (Not sure about you, but Jeff gets really excited when I clip coupons! That’s going to top the list for sure!!)

Make him a priority.

Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long! (Homemade pizza, Chinese food and burgers, here we come!!)

Support his vision.

Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead. (We’ll follow wherever he may lead.)


No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home! (No friction at home- yay! Except, maybe in between the sheets, if you know what I mean! Wink, wink!)

Fun, right?! I can’t wait!

It’s really amazing to have found a site that is so in line with my personal values as a mother, a wife and a woman. The most exciting part? That there are 127 other women whom I can find so much in common with. Gee whiz, it’s almost too much for me to bear!

So, are you with me, dear readers? Can we all commit the next two months to becoming the women our husbands really want? Women that serve them, worship them and put them first? I know that I can’t wait to jump right in!

About the writer


In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)


ss 5 years ago

is she from utah? and…does she live on a compound?? :)

    alexis 5 years ago

    i know this is like ten years after the fact, but ss…shut the hell up. i’m from utah, and you can bite my ass for implying that all people from utah are polygamists and think the same way that this woman does. i happen to agree with jill on this one.

    get a clue.

Andrea 5 years ago

Hilarious! Hysterical! Hystrionic! Love it!

Stephanie @ Confessions of a Trophy Wife 5 years ago

I especially loved that when I played the video on YouTube that I was able to play vuvuzelas over the lady who was talking!

Becka 5 years ago

Not in the slightest bit feminist, not interested in at it all. make a man a sandwich it won’t kill you, but i have enough to do around my home without submitting to my husbands every whim. they would be dumb anyways like ‘hey get me a beer’ every 5 minutes. (i guess that makes him a drunkard and me a ‘different kind of wife’ 😉

Sarah 5 years ago

Umm. WOW. Yea, not so much over here. My inner feminist is also shuttering.

toxicsheepnomore 5 years ago

This perky lil thing sounds like she has gulped down whole heartedly the stuff “Vision Forum” and Michael and Debi Pearl are shovelling out…dangerous stuff…

Mary 5 years ago

I lol’d about the coupons. My boyfriend fucking hates it when I clip coupons.

Joie 5 years ago

Um, so I have absolutely no interest in ever becoming the woman my man needs. I mean, by the time he marries me I would sure hope he kind of knows me. And I am not a make my man happy all the time kind of gal.

So….where is the website for men on how to become the man I NEED? My priorities, my needs, my foot rubs nightly?? Sheesh.

I am sure this woman has some of the best intentions, but even READING her site makes my inner feminist shutter in pain.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy 5 years ago

My first instinct at this was to recoil and say, “WTF, lady?” But despite the fact that I think a lot of her good intentions are waaaay overboard, it did make me consider how I interact with my husband, and realize that it really IS important to work at making him happy.

I just won’t be, you know, fasting for him or anything. He’d rather I eat than be a hungry, griping bitch. :)

Kevin Bruce 5 years ago

My big brother constantly amazes me with his articulation of issues. Though he didn’t get that Scary mommy was being sarcastic, you should read his comment:

Mother Mature 5 years ago

The video was hilarious. My husband and I went to Courtney’s blog and watched every single one of her videos. And laughed our heads off. We were particularly dumbfounded at the one where if you didn’t agree with your husband’s choices (of TV or music for example), you had to respectfully tell him that it made you uncomfortable, and then you had to go pray that he would change his mind. WTF?

I’m shocked that some women feel that they have to live that way, but whatever… It’s their loss!

I also saw Scary Mommy’s very classy comment in response to Courtney’s open letter. So anybody here who can’t see the humor in this post needs to take a breath, or a pill — whatever floats your boat.

Wednesday’s Child 5 years ago

To each his/her own. I thought your post was funny.

sonya schroeder 5 years ago

What is amazing to me is that Courtney is teaching GODS WORD, if you do not believe it to be GODS WORD then what she is saying may sound funny to you.

My question to anyone who took offense to her challenge is If we do NOT truly know who Jesus Christ is how can we “truly” serve Him?

We can not pick and choose things from Gods word to live by. When you study Jesus Christ and I mean study every single day to know who He truly is, He reveals to us how we should live our lives.

That includes your neighbors, you children, your spouses, everyone around you. God says in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Not knowing who God truly is we live more in sin then we know.

There are so many season in our lives raising our children up to be Godly adults, putting God centered in our marriages so that we have refuge over the devil, spending time with God ourselves so that we may draw closer to Him, and most importantly Serving Others with Joy. God says in Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many”

That is what our lives should look like in ALL areas of our lives.

Living our lives for “I” gives room for the devil to take over at any time, however when we live our lives for “GOD” and let Him be in control we are at a peace that you can not explain.

My prayer to the ones who took offense is that you will look deeper into your relationship with Jesus Christ and get to know HIM so that you can have a fullfilled life that way God intended us to in our marriages, raising our children and serving others with Joy.

May God bless you all

Serving with Joy
Sonya Schroeder

    Scary Mommy 5 years ago

    I have a very fulfilled life without believing in Jesus or God, thank you very much.

      PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

      Did you realize what a controvery your blog would be, Jill???
      I am Laughing my Ass off, reading the comments, for and against, being mean and not, and just plain old full of spitefullness.
      I am waiting for you to be put on a watch dog list! So I can laugh more.

      Everyone else has quoted the “bible” (don’t get me started on that one yet again, LOL) so I will quote the Beatles and Bambi (I know your love of Disney,).
      “All you need is love”
      “My momma said if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
      I will say again to EVERYONE:
      This is a blog, not a news journal (which used to be more un-biased), if you do not like what is said by Scary Mommy, or her cult of followers, DO NOT READ THIS PAGE, in fact stope reading right now, and cleanse your computer of it’s filth, and never open this site again.

Grace Australia 5 years ago

Scary alright!

Haley 5 years ago

Nice post! haha I agree. My husband walked in the room when I was watching the video, and rolled his eyes at IT! haha He can think of a few things he would prefer to show him I appreciate him (wink, wink) as opposed to discussing his “vision”. And I don’t think it takes FASTING to prove to my husband he means the world to me. Just my opinion but that lady sounds crazy. If it were a two way street, that would be one thing, but I don’t think I will EVER get my husband to fast for me, and I’m FINE with that (and so is he). :)

Unknown Mami 5 years ago

I discussed my husbands vision with him and we decided to set up an eye-doctor’s appointment for him in 1 year, in 5 years, and then again in 110 years. We’re set!

    Winkies Mom 5 years ago

    Great reply!! Still lmao!!

Jill Seiman 5 years ago

oh, mama, i’m enjoying these comments. so with you, as always.

Lili 5 years ago

Holy freaking…Carrots. Have you noticed how SERIOUSLY riled people get over religion? Trust God much? Now if a person were truly secure in their faith-would they really and truly need to argue someone into the ground about what they think?

This is the internet. People disagree. Quoting verse,getting angry, being sarcastic, saying what a happy (fill in the blanks) you are, so on and so forth doesn’t change the fact that this is Scary Mommy’s blog(yes it is-no matter what you think.)

So as long as she is happy with this-you can exist with whatever views you have but believe that if you take your negativity to a different level that’s what comment erasure and comment deletion are for. (Sort of like those parts of religious texts that have got rewritten so many times that even theologians question many aspects of them-constantly.)

Go Scary Mommy you are awesome. It is amazing what things will make people show their true colors.

Woo hoo! Let the games continue…I’m sure God is watching this particular blog right this second and making sure his faithful are making sure to do his/her/its job because, you know, building entire universes pales in comparison to having human beings on the grain of universal sand that is Earth do his/her/its job.

I mean God can create everything but you’d BETTER not agitate God or the human God slaves will bring it to ya decent :)

Lol yep I’m a heathen.

Go Scary!

Julie 5 years ago

Wow, now I AM scared!

mrs ellenoy 5 years ago

Scary Mommy –

LOVE the fact that to post a comment here, you have to press the ‘submit’ button. Nicely done! 5 years ago

I don’t trust women who have no art on the walls of their house. Oh, and I only fast for my hips, not my husband. Oooh! She used the word “drunkard”. Wow.

Jonah 5 years ago

Oh, I should ask my wife to see this video! What a mess!

mom, interrupted 5 years ago

Is this for real?

Way to stir it up, Scary Mommy! I love it!

Angel 5 years ago

I don’t know what is sadder. The fact that you choose to act like a 2 yr old having a fit over something that you didn’t even have to look into or the number of people who have jumped on your bashing bandwagon. So what if you don’t agree. Did she ASK you if you agreed, ummm NOT. She specifically said this would not be for everyone. I think what makes it worse is you are basing YOUR bashing off of YOUR idea of what submission is about when the true definition of biblical submission is a far cry from what secular society and individuals like you would have people to believe. IT saddens me that such mob thought would go along with your ill informed justification of your bashing. I mean would you like someone to come here and judge your beliefs from 1 post concerning just a snippet of what your life is?? I would hope not. It is sad and disheartening that you would choose to do such a mean nd spiteful thing to someone who said or did NOTHING to you. Bully much??
I can only hope you enjoy this moment of fame you got from your silly rant and make an adult decision to realize we are not all going to see things the same way and that is the difference between you and Courtney and all of us choosing to do the challenge. Instead of running off at the mouth about something we may not understand to make another person’s idea look idiotic we admit we may not understand it all and may not agree with it all but we wish them luck in their endeavors. But of course you would have to understand the concept of TRUE Christianity and not religion. AS well as the true definition of marital submission which has nothing to do with control but everything to do with respect and honor within the confines of the relationship. It occurs in BOTH parties we submit ourselves ONE TO ANOTHER , you know like Jesus did when he washed the feet of his disciples or when he gave himself up to the cross. But again you wouldn’t understand that either cause apparently you don’t and can’t accept anything that seems different or off the norm from YOUR perception. Heaven forbid that we might be right. But again, that might make you have to STUDY and investigate and leaping to conclusions, throwing daggers of hate and slapping labels on others seems to be a great hobby for you. Maybe one day you will tire of it.. I can only hope soon.

    Bruna 5 years ago

    She didn’t mean to bully or offend ANYONE. She just has a GREAT sense of humor (specially when dealing with the difficulties of life, marriage, raising children, you know – SENSE OF HUMOR?), which is apparently what’s lacking here…… ¬¬

    Really, I mean it, I am 100% SURE she was making fun of /herself/ at first place. As she always does. You should definitely (at least) be able to *forgive* that, at the bottom of your /christianity/, shouldn’t you? Well anyways – like you said it yourself, “so what if you don’t agree”…

    Live light.

      GlowinGirl 5 years ago

      Bruna, I think you’re right in that Scary Mommy was poking fun at herself just as much as at Courtney. She’s good at that, which is what I appreciate.

      I really don’t think her post was nearly as offensive as some of the comments. I think we could agree that many of them were bashing and mean-spririted. But you’re right — extending grace is part of being a Christian. And in a perfect life we could disagree amicably without hurting feelings. I am a follower of Christ, but I have many friends that aren’t. We remain respectful of our differing beliefs, and that respect makes all the difference. Courtney showed respect in a recent post, and I admire that.

      I think some have the gift of stating what they believe and being able to debate without being condescending. Some don’t, unfortunately. That’s why it gets so messy.

        Bruna 5 years ago

        Totally agree with you. It saddens me that so many *christians* turn to throw rocks at whoever oposes to them, forgetting that forgiveness is a virtue and part of God’s will.

        I gave up on the whole discussion – it’s pointless… It was a funny post, I checked on Courtney afterwards, she sure is a good hearted woman and I’m sure she does help a lot of people in many ways. :)

        And, lucky you and me (and so many others here!), we can laugh at Scary Mommy’s words, understand them, support her, enjoy it, and wait for more fun to come! Hehe.

        Have a great evening! 😉

    Maureen 5 years ago

    “IT saddens me that such mob thought would go along with your ill informed justification of your bashing. I mean would you like someone to come here and judge your beliefs from 1 post concerning just a snippet of what your life is?? I would hope not. It is sad and disheartening that you would choose to do such a mean nd spiteful thing to someone who said or did NOTHING to you. Bully much??”

    Ironic much? 😉

    I know you feel personally attacked. Or, that you feel like you’re defending yourself or your religion. But, really, it’s OK for people to talk about ideas that are presented on public blogs. That’s what they’re there for.

    How would any of us ever come to an understanding with people in the world who think differently than we do (and, when it comes down to it, every single person thinks differently than every single other person in the world), if we didn’t ever take the time to communicate with each other and about ideas?

    subWOW 5 years ago

    Blogs are not meant to be neutral or objective. Facebook pages are not meant to be neutral or objective. We have to agree to disagree sometimes. Jill did NOT leave a comment over on that website (at least the last time I checked). The fact is somebody went over to the other post and alerted people there that that post is being talked about here. (Wow, that sounded like I was describing high school, didn’t it?) The fact is you decided to come over and take a look and be offended. It is really tempting for me personally to leave comments all over the Internet on conservative websites mocking them, criticizing them, but I refrain myself every time, because it would be like if I insist on watching Glenn Beck to get myself all riled up spitting blood. Better just walk away. I have read one blog post referring to mine in a negative light with insulting comments (yeah, I am not bragging ok? “Just ONE?” I know I am but a krill in this big pond and oh yeah Trackback is a bitch), I wanted to say something, to defend myself, to prove them wrong, but I walked away.

    You can’t argue someone into changing their minds, esp. in the matters of faith/religion, and esp. when all this is based on “believing in Jesus/God” as that very nice lady said in her latest post welcoming new readers. Did you really think you would be able to change minds, to convert people into “True Christianity” that you subscribe to, by coming over here and yelling at people?

    p.s. Actually I kind of wish it could work this way: imagine the lives that could have been saved from the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. Let’s just try to talk the other side into changing their minds!

    p.s.s. You were so right when you said, “Heaven forbid that we might be right.” That is why I am agnostic. I’ve got it all covered. Booyah!

    p.m.s. Jill I am so sorry for coming back over & over again. I just discovered that being a troll is fun, no wonder people do it all the time!

      GlowinGirl 5 years ago

      subWow, I agree, we can’t yell people into Christianity. I understand people are offended, but I’m not sure the tone used by some here is the best way to explain that. I have seen other commenters kindly disagree. Unfortunately for everyone, both “sides” have some disgreeble “shouters.”

      Just so you know, Jill did go leave a comment on that site, but it wasn’t unkind, and Courtney has also responded with grace.

      You’re right. Blogs aren’t journalism sites reporting the news. They are written by people offering opinons. Some are just better at doing it in a respectful manner than others.

    Robin 5 years ago

    I think we all forget that putting things online we can’t always have everyone nod their heads along and agree with everything. Don’t you think life is more interesting that we take the time to question and discuss? I didn’t see anything hurtful here, just someone looking at it from another point of view.

Natalie 5 years ago

During our ceremony, our priest made a beautiful point when he advised us to start each day asking each other and ourselves, how may I serve you today? Not just me, not just him, but each other. I am here for him, and he for me, and no matter what else happens, together we must be.

There, it even rhymes.

    GlowinGirl 5 years ago

    That is beautiful. Mutual serving, mutual giving . . . yielding, surrendering, loving. That’s marriage.

      Johanna 5 years ago

      THAT is marriage.

Cranky Sarah 5 years ago

I’ve been working on a post called (something like) Why the Golden Rule is Crap
in the way it applies to my marriage, so this is very timely for me.
I’ve heard of this theory before and believe me, it is FAR bigger than the 127 people she has signed up on her blog. Some of the “pushers” of this line of thinking even say that abused women should subscribe to these rules – that it is their duty to be subservient to their husbands no matter what. (not that this particular woman does).
You were far from mean because even though I know you often use sarcasm, I didn’t know you weren’t seriously subscribing to this until I got to comment 13.
I’m sure there is a small percentage of women who could benefit from this challenge. Ones with a husband who put 100% into their work, family and marriage, but she has found herself too busy or tired to be particularly nice to him. Or if their husband used to put 100% in but now seems depressed &/or dejected. Sure, her marriage would benefit. But for the rest of us, it’s got to be equal effort at the same time. (though it would be nice if he went first!)

LZ 5 years ago

Ok – that is nuts – my husband would think I did something wrong if I started treating him this way. And obedient? People, that’s a bad thing. Some here say that one can be obedient and still have a voice and be a partner? Not really. If you’re truly obedient, and your ‘partner’ disagrees with you, the very definition of obedient means you lose.
I have to agree to some extent that if this works for this woman – great. They probably do have a happy home if she is so eager to please him. Good for them. Putting these thoughts online means it’s ok to voice an opinion against them. You are asking for it, sharing this with people in 2010.

ThePeachy1 5 years ago

wow just wow. I can not even take the time to read the comments on here cause uhm yeah no… Ok so I went to a “certain” un named denominational church” and the men went to “mens church” and the women went to ladies group where every sunday we learned how to be better wives and please our husbands more. I tried to take it all in. Then I asked my husband what they did in their Mens church assuming they learned how to be better husbands and he said they talked about god and sports. so yeah 15 years later, we are still best friends and part of that is just taking each other for what we are and laughing about that old church.

chris 5 years ago

i am a lesbian who is in a 10 year partnership of equal-mutual-treatment of each other.. i believe in jesus, and i really think that unless the respect and pampering is mutual, someone will always be left out in the cold. mutuality is waaaaay better than one sided effort.

let’s not judge. let’s love one another. and accept everyone for whom they are.

that’s jesus’s REAL teaching.



Tiffany 5 years ago

if i served my husband dinner three times a week he’d think i was trying to kill him

Robin 5 years ago

I’ve decided to take the challenge on in my own way. heh.

    Johanna 5 years ago

    Loved your take on this. Such an inspiring issue!

Maureen 5 years ago

It’s not a selfless act of kindness if you’re doing it in the hopes that it will make you a good wife, get him to behave better towards you, get him to help you more around the house, keep him from cheating or fix your marriage in any way.

I do agree with you that if you love a person, you will want to do things that make them happy. You’ll feel joy in seeing them happy like that. These things done out of selfless love are a joy to do, not a challenge, a dare, a sacrifice or an exercise. They should be done from a place of confidence in your own life, though, not because you’re trying to fix something or manipulate anyone, but because you simply want to see that person you love feeling good.

Diana @Hormonal Imbalances 5 years ago

*sigh* Beth Moore anyone?

I’m a Christian, raised by a pastor in a Christian home. This video grates on my nerves because while I understand the concept of becoming a better person to strengthen your relationship (whether it be gay or straight, or as a parent, sibling, or spouse) this lady rubs me the wrong way.

To me, it’s another well off, rich, white woman who thinks somehow she is qualified to let other women know how to be a “helper” to their husband. She makes some valid points – the concept at it’s core is correct. But to fast? To clip coupons? To cook dinner? What is this – the 30’s?

What about a workshop that teaches women to stand next to their husband in a time of crisis – to be likeminded in their lives together? What about helping us recognize a bad relationship and how to be strong enough to see what needs to be done – not to “be a different kind of wife for a drunkard”? What about being a strong woman when your husband isn’t the leader of the home, or the woman who’s husband is proud of her because she has a voice and a brain – not just because her coupons don’t have the white edging on the side when she clips them?

I’ve never gotten into this type of leadership from one of these women. Why are they all in huge, immaculate homes preaching to us about how to live? Where is the leadership from a woman who goes to help people in 3rd world countries and goes on the road to talk about it? That works with her husband to unite couples and teach them to be partners?

I don’t know – but I am not interested in the type of life being sold here. Not by her anyway.

    FFC 5 years ago

    WOW- I think I love you, not as much as my husband of 20 years, but pretty sure I love you.

    alexis 5 years ago

    oh, diana. you. are. awesome.

Royalbird 5 years ago

I think this is great. It goes along with “The Love Dare”, which is a book I’ve been reading and using to try and improve my marriage. The only person that I can improve is myself and it’s amazing how when I do these selfless acts of kindness for my husband in love, how much better he behaves toward me and how much more willing he is to give me the help I need around the house. It’s just ways of showing your husband you appreciate him. If you love someone as much as you should love your husbands, why wouldn’t you be willing to do this?

FFC 5 years ago

how come the man gets to be the leader? If it is a partnership there in NOT 1 leader- it seems like they think it is a partnership until the man puts his foot down- since he is the leader and decides what “his” vision for the family is- that does not sound like a partnership

    Jack 5 years ago

    how come the man gets to be the leader?

    The POP, power of the penis. It is magical.

      FFC 5 years ago

      oh sweetie POP works both ways- my hoo-ha has magical powers, I married a conservative opus dei catholic- who now after 20 years HE is a RAGING liberal! Sometimes I think I should go and sleep with Rush, Glenn and Sarah to just make the world a better place…if only I didn’t throw up at the thought.

        Jack 5 years ago

        Everyone thinks that they own the one that can charm the pants off the other guy. It is part of what makes you guys cute, funny, but cute.

          FFC 5 years ago

          not saying it’s charming- I am only stating it changes political opinions- opus dei (like the albino in Davinci Code) now fights for Gay Rights! magical!

          Jack 5 years ago

          That albino dude is creepy. Gives me the willies.

KDavison 5 years ago

@ FFC- In the bible, God says that he created women to be “helpers” to our husbands. If I am right, helper has a bit of a different meaning than servant. If you keep up with Courtney’s blog, you know that she mentions this several times. I have read back several comments and see alot of “my marriage is a partnership” and it is! Courtney is speaking from a woman’s perspective. Perhaps, we can try to find and man’s Godly perspective on his role in marriage? You can’t deny that it would be an interesting read! :)

@ Evonne- Thank You! A sense of humor is what makes my world go ’round :) Laughter is such a blessing! Don’t you feel better after a really good belly laugh ? :) I’m sorry you are making these assumptions (“my life will suck and I’m going to hell. Oh, well.”) There is soo much more hope than this! Again, I am not advocating the challenge to anyone. That is a very personal commitment. I’m just advocating the cause. I thinks it’s a good one, that many woman could draw from. I’m praying for you Evonne :)

    alexis 5 years ago

    actually, the word used in the bible is “helpmeet” and while this word has sometimes been translated to mean helper, another translation is “partner” (like you said) who is “meet” or suitable, for adam. god was creating a suitable and equal partner for adam, one who would be by his side as his companion. not just his helper. after all, adam would still be in the garden of eden all by his lonesome if it hadn’t been for eve. if you ask me, he was the one helping her.

    Evonne @ All You Need is Love 5 years ago

    KDavison- Laughter is great for the soul. The only “assumption” I am making is that you are making it sound like the life I lead is the wrong one because I’m not completely committed to God and the Bible.

    I’m not mocking this challenge. If this is what a woman believes will make her a better wife, who am I to stop her? I just know that it is not for me and I am ok with that.

No Princesses Here 5 years ago

A) My marriage works (well) because it’s an equal partnership. My husband married me because I am sooooo NOT the Stepford type. I’m fairly certain that participating in such a challenge might actually lead to divorce for us. At the very least, my husband would be creeped out.

B) If you didn’t discuss the direction you wanted your life to go in before you got married, and don’t have regular conversations making sure you’re still on the same page, you’re already screwed. Just sayin’.

C) This challenge makes me understand nuns.

Evonne @ All You Need is Love 5 years ago

These comments are quite amusing!

I guess by not taking this challenge, my life will suck and I’m going to hell. Oh, well.

FFC 5 years ago

Please don’t pray for me, pray that these women’s daughters will see that they are put on earth to be so much MORE than subservient to MEN- that’s what you need to pray for!

Sara — The Football Wife 5 years ago

I smell bullshit… *wink*wink*

    KDavison 5 years ago

    Sorry you feel that way Sara. Your blog is really cute though, I love the little kitchen! Your photography is neat to. :)

KDavison 5 years ago

I am truly praying for the group of women that convene here on this site. If the group of you would open your minds, look past the anxious fears and hurts that your past has afforded you, covering your heart in assumptions and sarcasm, you would see that “it” is just this simple. The bible, word for word, is the ONLY WAY. There are no “interpretations”. God told us the way that life is to be. The ONLY WAY. It is hard, it may seem frivolous, but the love, guidance and everlasting promise from God is right in front of you! You only have to shun these worldly views and make up your own minds. Do not let the world influence the purity by which you really can love God or your husbands. It is just that simple. Courtney is an amazing woman. She is well spoken, educated and she is not trying to impart her views on you, after all, it was some of you who were visiting her site. Curious, I guess? Women seeking to grow in their marriages, draw from the love and partnership that God intended when creating man and woman can only benefit themselves and their familes. To understand why this personal challenge is under public scrutiny is impossible. Take the challenge or don’t. Improve your life or don’t. Love God or don’t. In the end, it’s your judgement day and you heart. Again, I am praying for you all as sisters in Christ. :)

    Amie 5 years ago

    Unless you speak Hebrew and Koine Greek, you only get the interpretation that others have given you 😉

      From Belgium 5 years ago

      What Bible are you talking about? Because you know that the Bible is a compositions of text edited between 12 to 2 thouseand BC. Right? That he original texts where written in Hebrew and Arameic? Then translated into Greek and then into Latin?
      When ancient scribes copied earlier books, they wrote notes on the margins of the page (marginal glosses) to correct their text—especially if a scribe accidentally omitted a word or line—and to comment about the text. When later scribes were copying the copy, they were sometimes uncertain if a note was intended to be included as part of the text. Over time, different regions evolved different versions, each with its own assemblage of omissions and additions. So the concept of ‘the original word of God’ is not correct.
      The standardized Bible is a fairly recent development (the arrival of the printing press helped a lot). And even now there are different versions (Lutheran, King James, Roman Catholic,…)
      Sorry, about this serious intrusion ladies, years behind a desk have not yet transformed this once enthousiastic history student.

        PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

        THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
        I am seriously thinking of re-naming my religous status to something else because of all the “Christians” commenting here. That seem to think that after this long, the bible is still the EXACT word it was oh so many years ago.
        Thank God for history buffs

    PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

    Well, ma’am.
    I am a christian, because I believe in the love and salvation of Jesus Christ.
    So, I will remind you of a few oversights your missing out on here.
    Jesus loved ALL, even those who did not follow him.
    Who the hell do you think you are to tell anyone what the ONLY path to salvation is?
    Need I re-state the Jesus was a JEW (gasp, choke, gasp)
    So please inform him on “judgement day” that you were un accepting of ANY other religion, even the one he grew up in, and you can shout your answer to me on the other side of the veil.
    GOD (I’m talking the Father here) gave us all the freedom of choice, EVE CHOSE TO COMMIT THE ORIGINAL SIN, Jesus chose not to sin, and a whole bunch of idiots have CHOSEN to slaughter millions of people in HIS name.
    In conclusion (You wouldn’t know it now, but I use to be a genius)
    Jesus said Love uncoditonally, YOU ARE NOT.
    Jesus taught acceptance and forgiveness, YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS EITHER.
    and most importantly
    JESUS LOVED ALL, even those that crucified him. Who do you think you are to judge these women? IN HIS NAME?

    If you want to attack the smart, amazing, funny as hell women on this site, do it for yourself and quit throwing around being a Christian, because if that’s what YOU claim to be I am somthing else entirely.
    It’s the amazing thing called block this website, which is an option on most browsers, try it out.

      kewkew 5 years ago

      So, PreggersStepmom, you are a Christian? You state you believe in the love and salvation of Jesus Christ. Great. What did Jesus save you from. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Whoever “believes” in Him. In other words, if someone doesn’t believe in Jesus they do NOT have eternal life. If you are a Christian this verse, John 3:16 is foundational. Yes God does LOVE everyone, he doesn’t want anyone to go to hell, it was prepared for the devil and his angels (that is in the Bible), but He is a holy God and can not permit sin. That is why he sent Jesus. Jesus himself said “I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the father but by me.” John 14:6 Yes, the same Jesus, who as you stated loved all, also said you need to believe in Him to be saved. And Jesus is not going to reject someone because of what they are, but because of who they did NOT except into their lives, HIM. Yes there are Jews who are going to be in heaven. His disciples were Jewish. But they put their trust in Him.. I believe it is extremely dangerous to be a Christian and say their are other ways to heaven and technically hypocritical. For the reasons I stated above. If you are not sharing your faith as Jesus told us to you are allowing others to think there is another way to heaven, when Jesus himself said he was the only way. You can’t have it both ways.

        PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

        I will not get into a bible verse quoting war, I do not believe that the bible being marketed today is anywhere near what it was when Jesus walked with us in body.
        I will however, be as nice as possible, even though I’m really normally a raving bitch.
        Jesus did not try to covert people through shame, or anger, or manipulation, but through love, kindness and understanding.
        He did not condem others based on their beliefs or status in life.
        Now, that being said,
        I have no issues discussing my religion with ANYBODY. I was in a hate hate relationship with God for ten years, I ended up back being Christian after exploring, trying, and some what liking many other religions. I, as well as alot of other people I know in my “boat”, am disgusted at how “christians” are treating people, ALL PEOPLE even other Christians. While I will not deny Jesus, I know folks who are faltering in this sense because of the stigma that goes with being Christian in alot of society’s.
        It is not our place to chastise, insult, or just be too darn mean to anybody. Especially not in the name of Christ who embodied love. I do not try to “convert”, I simply help other’s understand my beliefs, and sometimes they agree. By not being accepting of others faiths, we do not show love. Of course everyone thinks theirs is the one true way into heaven! That’s how it goes. BUT, wars have been waged in many different gods names, including Christ, children have died, men and women who did not deserve it were slaughtered, but people did so because they were RIGHT.
        I’ve read the “bible” many a time, and none of this sounds like anything having to do with Jesus’s concept of life or love. If you want to pray for someone, do it. But don’t make them feel like they are going to hell because they don’t subscribe to your religion, that is not your job. That is God’s job, and who do people think they are trying to do his job?
        Sharing your faith, as I believe you put it, does not mean beating people over the head with the bible! Do I believe I have the right religion, OF COURSE. Do I think I need to be mean and calous to those who do not share these views? NO.
        I do not go to church, not even on Christmas and Easter. I do keep in close contact with a man much more well versed in this stuff than I. I pray, I love, I turn the other cheek, and I never deny my faith, this is what makes me a Christian.
        I have some quotes to go with this if you’d like them…………
        But I ask again, who are you to JUDGE me?

          kewkew 5 years ago

          I am sorry if you took my post in the wrong way. I was not judging you. You had stated in response to someone’s previous post or (multiple posts, I am not sure which), “Who the hell do you think you are to tell anyone what the ONLY path to salvation is?” My point was, Christians are not the ones who said there is only one way to salvation, it was Jesus Christ himself who you yourself profess to believe in.
          I was just trying to clarify what you believe. If you look at the time stamp on my post, I had not gone to bed and was extremely tired. My apologies if you took me to be judgmental, I was trying to be.
          I never said we are to beat people over the head with the Bible. All I meant was, if we believe in Jesus, he said there is only one way to heaven, so not letting people know or telling them it is okay to believe something to the contrary is giving them an eternal death sentence.

          PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

          Your post didn’t hit me wrong at all Kew!
          I enjoy a good philsophical debate, for the most part I don’t get my panties in a bunch now a days.
          While I do identify as a Christian (my own set of beliefs, I hate most churches, more on that further down.) I am also an American, and a miltiary brat to boot, third generation, LOL. So I believe in Freedom, for ALL, and my family has sarcificed for that freedom for generations.
          That being said, Do I think my views on religion, heaven, God, etc, are correct? Damn straight! Now, go ask others with different faiths than my own (including different Christian folk…..) that same question, you’ll get some form of Yes, probably with out the cuss word. I have to accept that, As a christian and an American. Do I disagree, yes I do. Do I get nasty about it, wellllllllll sometimes. It’s the whole judgemental issue, God (my own and everyone else’s) is the only one fit to judge anybody, and will. But I do not “condem” anyone to damnation, again not my place, but I am willing to discuss (trying for calmly, LOL) my personal views with them, chances are I will not be changing their minds anymore than they can change mine.
          I hated God for so long, the various churches I was forced to attend just made it worse. One, in third grade made me become educated about the book of Revalations, King has nothing on that one, I was terrified for YEARS, I would wake up and my family would be off doing something out of ear shot of my screams for them, and I would just know that God hadn’t wanted me, that I was bad. That’s a ton of guilt for a third grader!
          Another church said ALL modern medications were evil and the work of Satan. My sister’s (my BFF/bane of my exsistance) life has been saved WAY too many times by medicine, including within hours of birth. I have SEVERE mental issues, I can’t function without my medication in any way shape or form, so right then and there I was going to hell once again, because of something I have no control over, NONE.
          Then there was my rape, by the president of the Fellowship of Christian Athlete’s, but I was lying and had tempted him because I was a bad kid, right? It was my fault for the way my body looked (36 C since fifth grade), and because I liked kissing (I am serious, MY FAULT), some of these things said by my own God fearing Christian parents.
          I am also a drug addict, since age 13 and that means I’m damned too.
          I have tattoo’s, lots of them (I have biblical quotes here, but others have more against I am sure)
          I have a failed marriage, due to lies and deception from both me and my ex, and I was a good submissive wife, he left me for a MAN.
          At this point in time, my faith was gone, my hope for salvation had ended long before, and I tried to take my own life (not the first time). My parents arrived at the hospital to their youngest daughter seizing, and having a stroke. My mom didn’t sleep for over a year out of fear she would wake up and find me dead by my own hand.
          And finally three years later, I came openly and honestly into the fellowship of AA (I am an addict, this is another personal choice, don’t ask), where I didn’t have to love God, just a Higher Power of my chosing. A year into sobriety I was in a hell of cravings, sucidal thoughts, and my mental illness full blown in a whole new way, and I screamed at God, asking how or why he could do this to me, haven’t I suffered enough. I tried to die again that night, and a few more after that.
          I found a pastor, my parents new one at a LUTHREN church, He loved me just for me, as did the rural, older congragation, tattoo’s and all. They did not judge, they did not shame me for anything I had done or occasionally did now (one about smoking, but, eh) and I found a whole new meaning of the word Christian.
          I am in a whole new boat of damnation, I’m pregant and not married or getting that way any time soon. I love the man I live with and am having a child with, and he loves me. We both have a failed marriage, our daughter was an un-expected joyfull suprise (I.E. we got snowed in on Christmas and couldn’t get to the drug store.), and he has children from previous relationships, and is I’m calling it Agnostic. I have friends and family from all over, not a damn one of us can agree on anything so him and I being different iis not that big an issue.
          I do know that I have changed people’s opinions of what a Christian is, how one acts, not to mention looks like. I wear a cross on my back (tattooed, of course), and never deny my faith no matter how unpopular it makes me, I love everybody (don’t like most of them, but…..), and I pray for forgiveness, I pray for other people, and I pray for the whole world a lot of the time. I do not judge, I do not condescend, and I try not to attack others who do not share my beliefs, even those who’s religion goes under the same name (who I have the most issues with) as my own. It is a choice, some make it, some don’t. It will work out in the end however it is meant to, whether my beliefs are the one true way or not, I believe that and it gives me hope, and a greater purpose.
          This doesn’t mean that I am doing anything other than allowing and accepting others for their ability to have these same out comes, in thier own way.
          Every religion for it’s followers is the only way! It is this faith which makes the worst day feel a bit better, the worst offense can be forgiven or attoned for, and there is more to life than this bleak exsistance. I will not take that from anybody else, just as I won’t let them take mine.
          I respect others freedoms, as much as I want them to respect mine even if their view pisses me off. I guess it’s just a love thing for me, I love all and I am there to help when needed and watch them fall if that is what is needed as well. When I die or the world ends with a whimper or a bang, everything will go as it is supposed to, whether I am right or not, I will die thinking that, which will make death less of a scary thing.

Sky 5 years ago

I read this just after I chewed my husband’s ass. Oh yes, I did. There may or may not have been some F-Bombs in there too. Oh, who am I kidding, I said the f-word…a lot.

He know’s I’m the HBIC (Head Bitch In Charge).

S Club Mama 5 years ago

I wanted to share with you all a reply post that may help clear up some of the controversy associated with this challenge.

I also thought that it’s rather funny that this challenge via the internet has sparked such a debate. Wonder how you would feel about Dr. Laura’s “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.”

Queen Momma 5 years ago

I sense a little bit of sarcasm, no….. just a little bit!!! 😉
I’ll put it this way, I’m as committed to it as you are!!
Here’s to our happy husbands, after all, what’s more important…….

running in alabama 5 years ago

After reading this, my hubby said…”I was smart enough to to make sure you were the wife for me before I proposed, I don’t need you to work on it…now, whats for dinner?” I said…”Your grilling chicken tonight.” He said…”Sweet!”

    running in alabama 5 years ago

    Ack! I mean you’re…(I did go to school a while back)

Helen 5 years ago

Well, I joined the challenge.

I have learned early that marriage should not be 50/50 – marriage has to be 100/100. If I give my 100% to the love of my life – I don’t have to worry. Men cheat and are not present because we do not fulfill their needs.

Please don’t allow naysayers to discourage you from doing what is right for your marriage!!!

    Maureen 5 years ago

    People cheat because they want to have sex or relationships with other people who are not their partners.

    Even if their partner spoils them and submits to them, cooks for them, cleans for them, offers them sex in whatever way they want it, etc… If they don’t respect their partner & their relationship with that partner, they will want to cheat. It’s about the person doing the cheating & the choices that they make in their life – not about anyone else.

From Belgium 5 years ago

I do not know what is better : the post or the comments…

    Scary Mommy 5 years ago

    Absolutely the comments. 100%.

scrappysue 5 years ago

i clicked X after she quoted the bible the 2nd time. i’ve been married 25 years and i think i’m doing ok

stephy 5 years ago


PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Lordy Lordy Lordy!
Ladies, Ladies!
I am a christian and some of you make me a bit embaressed to say that. LOVE EACH OTHER. We’re all different we don’t live in Stepford. I so ejoy this site, and the comments well, in my advance stadge of preggers, almost literally make me wet my pants.
Someone posted what are Christians doing reading this blog, my reply
Even Jesus could appreciate a good joke!

Mrs BC 5 years ago

First I laughed, then I cried, then I was seriously concerned for this lady’s mental health. But to be fair, I couldn’t watch the whole thing, so maybe I missed something important. Nice try, but obviously this isn’t about a mutually caring & sharing marriage.

Thanks for the laugh though!
Mrs BC

Erin 5 years ago

I’ve finally figured it out!! This post has been bugging me all day, and I’ve already responded, but I’d like to respond again…

There are 2 major things that bug me about it:

1.) She’s advocating a parent/child relationsihp with your spouse: He dictates/leads, she follows…if it were the other way around where she dictates/leads and he follows, I’d have the EXACT same problem with it.

Do you want a parent/child relationship with your spouse? Or do you want a grown up relationship?

2.) There’s no spiritual CONNECTION advocated in this relationship which is totally ironic, right?: She talks about what she can do for him around the house, in the kitchen, in the bed…but she doesn’t talk about spending quality time WITH him and WITH the family. I think she did say “watch sports”, but that isn’t actually quality time in my book. Where’s the mental connection? The friendship? The fun? In my house, our number one rule is making sure we have fun as a family. If you do that, everything else will follow…

I DON’T want to be a hater. I think Courtney is a lovely person and I believe she thinks what she’s doing is right. I think she just doesn’t have all of the pieces to a healthy grown up relationship. I wouldn’t care if she was just talking about herself, but I’m saddened that she’s trying to get other women to follow her down this path.

And one last thing: If she has time to take a bubble bath like in the main pic on her site, well then she has to be the most organized person on the planet. Or, she doesn’t sleep!

    Robin 5 years ago

    Yes Erin that is exactly how I read it, thanks for putting it in the right words. To me, what she said, was not an equal relationship but that’s just in my book.

    To all the angry commenters: We all, including you, have a right to our opinions and that is all that is going on on this blog.

warmchocmilk 5 years ago

OmG I am so not a “good wife”. My poor hubby. 😉

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Ok, I have no clue if that was thinly veiled sarcasm and I missed it. but……….
Do they have a partner site on being a better husband/spouse/partner? I have been in seveal different power’s in my current relationship, I was in charge, he was in charge (neither worked for $hi+) with the non in charge person being a doormatt basically. now we work together, pretty well honestly.
I did ask my guy some of these, for the “fulfilling his whatever” the response I got was (HE WAS JOKING, i think/hope)
-blow job or butt sex
-me being quiet for 24 straight hours
-blow job or butt sex

That’s it, nothing extreme, right?
I make him meals he enjoys nightly, I have a higher sex drive so that is no issue, I pray for my entire family every day and he makes requests frequently.
I guess to me being nice (as much as humanly possible, that is not all day every day) to your significant other is part of being in a relationship. But this web site made me kinda sad, this is not a cure all, and it doesn’t represent all men, especially mine.
Just my opinion, I guess.

June Freaking Cleaver 5 years ago

You really should check out this site, too…

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find the companion site that teaches boys how to be gracious and loving heads of the household, so the wife can feel safe enough to dedicate her life to serving her God, her family and her home and community.

Hell, I think I’ll scrub a floor or two now.

    GlowinGirl 5 years ago

    You know, I haven’t seen a site that does that either, but I have seen a few books.

    I will say, June, without looking at this site, that some of those are a bit over the top for me, and I avoid them. I try to find balance in these things. I want my daughter and sons to be loving, strong people that have healthy marriages some day. It’s found in mutual submission, I believe.

    I’m off to bed. No floors for me today! 😉

    Christy 5 years ago

    What on earth is wrong with learning to take care of the home?

      GlowinGirl 5 years ago

      Absolutely nothing is wrong with it, as far as I can see. :)

      I do know that I personally get turned off by how-to lists, and that sites where that is the focus aren’t my cup of tea. But I don’t see anything wrong with it. That isn’t what I was implying.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

I posted this over at the BlogFrog discussion about this post:

You know, my husband came home last night and said, “I don’t know what your dreams are. You’ve put aside everything for my career (4 moves), my MBA and my goals. I want to work on fulfulling yours, and I want to talk about it this weekend when we go out so you have time to think about it.” I was a bit surprised, but also thankful.

Why did he ask? Because of a book he was reading . . . written by a Christian. There is an idea in the NT of mutual submission, and I bet Courtney would agree with it. I think she’s just trying to speak to the women (her target audience). The NT actually says to submit to one another, and it is speaking to men and women. In other words, ask your partner how you can love him/her better. I’m thankful for when my husband reaches out to me, and I know I should do more of that for him

Just thought I’d share that there are Christain books out there for guys encouraging them to love their wives. 😉

June Freaking Cleaver 5 years ago

Ok, where’s the site where the men can learn what WIVES need?

Marriage ain’t 50/50 – it’s 100/100 – and from this video I see only the wife doing her 100, while the husband reaps all the benefits and can still be the drug using, video game playing drunkard ya married in the first place.

And I bet this woman’s husband walks around with the biggest SHEAT-EATIN’ GRIN – “wow, look what I can get my wife to do FOR ME!

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

I agree with much of what Joy said.

I haven’t watched the video, but I have read Courtney’s posts before. She has a pretty large following of women (not men). And just as Joy mentioned, most of us as bloggers target the people that read us. So of course, she’s talking about women loving their husbands.

Have you heard of The Dating Divas? I love their blog because they focus on great ways to keep loving (and dating) your husband after you marry. I think that’s probably what Courtney is going for — ways to actively and intentionally love your husband. When I make my husband’s favorite meal, he notices. Occasionally, I’ll even ask him what he’d like for supper that week. I’ll admit I don’t always make it, but if I can, I do. Because he loves me so well, and I need to show it, you know?

While I’m not accepting the “challenge,” I think it’s definitely good to look for ways to show some extra love. I can get pretty apathetic at times.

I’ve read the comments and haven’t been surprised at those who disagree. I appreciate hearing different views, which is why I DON’T subscribe only to blogs of people that I see eye to eye with. What I am surprised by (although I’m not sure why) is how disrespectful and mean-spirited some of the comments are. I can disagree with Courtney or with Jill and still show some basic respect.

And I’m a bit surprised to discover that humor isn’t Christ-like (one of the comments). That was news to me because I know some hilarious people that love Jesus — they just aren’t hateful about their humor (and I’m not saying Jill was hateful, although a bit on the strong side this time). Still reading though. 😉

Joy Forney 5 years ago

First off, I respect your right to express your own opinion, and I appreciate the opportunity to discuss this topic.
You mentioned in the comments that if the challenge was proposed for both man and woman you’d be on board and wouldn’t have found it necessary to write such an attacking post. But, do you really think that Courtney (the author) has many, if any, male readers? Why would she challenge men to do something like this when she has female readers?
I dare say that she would agree with you that a man should equally seek to love and serve his wife, but shouldn’t a man be leading a challenge like that with a male audience? Why attack Courtney for choosing to challenge the demographic that reads her blog?
Many of your commenters have shared similar sentiment, that it should be a shared thing, a mutual thing. Yes, I agree, and the dear sweet girl that you are attacking would also agree.
Kindness toward your spouse isn’t something that needs to be degraded or made fun of, it is something that we should all seek to do better at, man or woman.
And if I as a wife sit around and wait for my husband to do it first, maybe it will never happen. I am in charge of my own life and my own actions, and if I want to work at my marriage to make it better, it does NOT make me a brainless Stepford wife. It makes me a kind human being who wants to do something nice for the person I love. I applaud Courtney for her stand and her challenge, it is people like her that make the world a better place.
Blessings to you and all of your readers.

    Sarah Mae 5 years ago

    What Joy said. :)

      Anna 5 years ago

      Agreed. :-)

    Scary Mommy 5 years ago

    Regardless of whether or not she has male readers, the challenge was directed at women. It was not “here are some ideas for you and your spouse,” it was here is what YOU, as the wife can do. I think that’s antiquated and pretty frightening. And, it wasn’t just about Courtney choosing to live her life as she wants– she can do anything she wants– it’s that she’s encouraging impressionable women to do the same.

    That said, I really did not mean this to turn into an attack on her. Her own words, applied to my life, simply struck me as funny. It was sarcastic, but not meant to be vicious.

    I am sure that she and her husband are very happy. And, why wouldn’t he be? He’s got the best gig around. Frankly, I’m kind of jealous. I could use a Courtney.

      Bruna 5 years ago

      Haha. 😛

      (what’s life without a bit of sarcasm anyway?) 😉

      Joy Forney 5 years ago

      I appreciate your desire to note that this was not mean to be vicious. I totally get that. There are times that I myself have thought something sarcastic was funny and it turned out to be quite hurtful to the person it was directed at. I would just encourage you to see Courtney as a person, not someone or something to make fun of.

      I agree with you, her husband must be one happy man! I think we could ALL use a Courtney, and the world could use lots more of them!! :)
      Blessings to you today.

      Christy 5 years ago

      I am relieved to hear that you did not mean it to be vicious. I think Courtney is a role model for us all, whether we recognize it or not.

      You will be in my prayers.

    Missy 5 years ago

    Well said Joy.

    Courtney’s readers are women!
    Why would she post something on her blog geared towards men?
    If she did and I showed it to my husband and told him “here honey, I think you should do what she says” he would laugh at me.

    In fact, by Courtney posting this on her blog, she is telling us women to take charge and make our own choices. Here is what she is doing, you can choose to do the same for your own spouse.

Bruna 5 years ago

You know, I went to her site/blog to check out on the “whole” context… I am a christian too and I think I do a good job as such, as well as being a wife – or so says my husband. He thanked me a couple of days ago, for being such a wonderful wife, for taking care of him, and our kid, and the house, and supporting him, and he said he’d never EVER want/need anyone else other then me in his life. He is SO sweet. And I DO ‘serve’ him (even tho I call it spoiling – isn’t it nice ti surprise your loved one with something he ADORES, every now and then?), but in our own way. Like many others said here, we SHARE the responsabilities and duties of a marriage. I’ve got more free timethen he does, cause I’m staying at home while he is working, but that doesn’t keep him from washing the dishes and helping with the Laundry and vacuum cleaning. He think’s it’s not fair that everything is on my shoulders, specially being 8 1/2 months pregnant.

That said: yes, I think that video is a BIT too much for ME. For us, my family. I don’t need to EXTRA devote him by taking a 2 month “challenge”. He sees a bit everyday, in me, that tells him I’m teh right one. She did have some other videos that were encouraging, supporting, nice, ok, but I don’t think that it is a general RULE what she has posted on this particular one. I lived with an alcoholic and that is NO F*ING JOKE. Hell NO, I’d never EVER *SERVE* a man like that. If not for my own sake, for my children, who don’t deserve THAT THING as a father. My 1st son never even KNEW what a father was, until I married my actual husband.

It’s about sharing. Not “one side submiting”.

    Julie 5 years ago


      Bruna 5 years ago

      Thanks Julie! :)

Emily 5 years ago

I would totally be on board with this if it didn’t interfere with all my plans. but let me know how it turns out for ya. 😛

Candice 5 years ago

Eh, to each their own… but I have to say this actually made me laugh out loud. I read it to the hubby, at which point he leaned over to our newborn son and said, “Don’t you let anyone tell you that I lead anything here. Mommy leads it all.” lol

There is something to be said for prioritizing your spouse, though. I’d like to think the hubby and I actually take turns doing some of those things (cooking each other’s fave dinners, discussing OUR visions for our family, etc). I’m not into the submissive tone of the original, but again, to each their own.

Marinka 5 years ago

this is a great idea! Can’t wait to surprise Husbandrinka! Sign me up!

Tina@Send Chocolate Now 5 years ago

Oh. my. I am thinking the sports would be of a seckshual nature. (did I really just spell that inventively? I think I did).

Perfect post for satire. Sadly, women believe this stuff.

TwinHappyJen 5 years ago

While I made a joke comment earlier, I feel like I need to add: If this had been the kind of thing where both parties did these things for each other, I would have a much different outlook on it… but, while I might not consider myself a super-feminist, I’m enough of one that just watching that video made me want to gag.

I know there are differences between men and women, but a woman is not man’s best friend. That’s a dog’s job. And, I get extra offended at things like this now because, as a Mother to two beautiful twin girls, I would never want my daughters to feel like they were subservient to any man (or woman, for that matter). Anybody that wants to be with them in the future, better treat them like the princesses they are :-) (And yes, they should do the same for their partner… a successful relationship is where both parties feel loved, cared for and respected.)

And no, I don’t subscribe to any religion. I do have certain beliefs, though… one of those being that, everyone is free to believe what they want. But, if someone tries to use religion (any religion) to tell my daughters that they are not worth as much as men, or they’re not going to heaven if they don’t serve and follow their man, etc… then yes, I am going to have a problem with that. I find it to be a disgusting, offensive notion and I mock it to try and keep from vomiting…

TheKitchenWitch 5 years ago

What the FUCK? Who are these Stepfords?

Tess 5 years ago

Oh My Gosh- I didn’t know that you were joking at first and I was all like whaaaaaat?? This lady has got to have a screw loose. Please your drunken husband? OMG!!

Heather 5 years ago

I love you, Jill. I really do and so this is hard for me to say. I hate conflict and normally avoid it completely but I have one question….

If this was a woman of any other faith expressing her views, would you have still written this post?

Sometimes I feel like us Christians get a really bad rap and it makes me sad. Why is it so awful that she wants to do something nice for her husband? She’s not saying you are a bad wife for not participating.

    Scary Mommy 5 years ago

    If it were a woman of any other faith expressing THESE views? Yes, I would take issue with them.

Cynthia 5 years ago

I just want to know why a bunch of Christians are reading ScaryMommy in the first place, because it’s definitely one of the most hilariously snarky blogs I have ever come across…and I’ve come across a lot. AND I mean that as a compliment.
Doggone it, humor and sarcasm are not very Christ-like! What would Jesus do, after all? Tut tut young lady, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Annnnd cut.

    Cyndi 5 years ago

    That’s an excellent question! When I come across blogs that are the exact opposite of my own beliefs, I leave. To each her own (as long as it’s ok with her husband of course) but a blog about christian beliefs would be of no interest to me.

    Jennifer 5 years ago

    Yeah, and she’s a Jew.

    Totally, totally kidding. I love Scary Mommy and I’m a Christian.

    Pua 5 years ago

    They keep multiplying too….It’s a little strange.

      Brandie 5 years ago

      I think they called their bible study groups to check out it out.
      Discussions will be held next Tuesday.

    Julie 5 years ago

    Humor isn’t Christ-like? There’s a new one, at least for me…

    I’m a Christian and have been reading ScaryMommy for at least 8 months or so? I think she’s fabulous, even if we don’t agree on everything and our lifestyles or belief systems are different. She’s a talented person, I enjoy her outlook and perspective and she’s real! She’s kind! She responds on Twitter!

    I’m a Christian, She’s Jewish and that’s all really beside the point.

    Maureen 5 years ago

    I don’t have a problem with scary mommy’s post -or- with people offering countering opinions here in the comments.

    If we all avoided thinking about and talking about things that we didn’t agree with, we’d never grow, change or understand each other.

      Missy 5 years ago

      Ditto to Julie and Maureen.
      I have been reading Jill’s blog since the beginning. Just because I don’t always agree with her doesn’t mean I cannot find her funny.

      And Christians can’t be funny or snarky?? Really?? Check out Anita Renfroe and Tim Hawkins.

      Why does everyone picture a Christian as a boring, bible thumping, hateful person? I don’t get the stereotype.

Kathryn 5 years ago

If I gave my husband a choice of breakfast lunch and dinner and desert…He would want sex, sex, sex and sex. We are not slaves of men and Men are not rulers and we should all be created equal.. so its not what can I do for you.. its what can we do for eachother..

The other day my husband said ” I should be able to have sex with you when ever I want” and If I didn’t have a hand available I would have smacked him over the head. We are not PUPPETS and deserve to be treated with repect. And just for saying that he not geting shit for awhile!

    FFC 5 years ago

    I agree, I am not holding him back form having sex 20 times a week- he can masturbate all day long if he wants to!- His response- I didn’t get married to jack -off

    My response- waa-waa-waa- deal with it

    Bruna 5 years ago

    Hahaha! I found this whole sex thing very funny. If she HAS to say yes, how can she say it’s not a burden? 😛 I never say no myself, but, uhm, that’s because I’m always into it, what can I do? Haha! Besides, our ‘needs’ match preety tight, so it’s never like one wants more then the other. Ah, c’mon. FREEDOM for women! :)

Kathryn 5 years ago

My husband would take me to the Dr. if I started the “program” you mention above. Very funny stuff. :-)

Paige 5 years ago

My husband would laugh in my face if I even suggested any one of these options. Although truth be told I would be laughing just trying to sputter out these “suggestions”…. but then again he is a drunkard that refuses to go to church :) Wait, so am I!!!! Wheres my wine?

Jen 5 years ago

Ok so I was a little pressed for time so I didn’t watch the video and for like 2 minutes….I THOUGHT YOU WERE SERIOUS. I almost died…twice….

I should not read immediately after nap time, I was not functioning at full capacity. GAH. What a load of CRAP.

    Jen 5 years ago

    The crap being the other post of course, not yours, yours is genius. xoxo

Erin 5 years ago

If my husband did this plan for me, I’d be SCARED! I’d think he’d gone insane and I’d try to get him committed. There is such a thing as TOO much. And I think worship should be used for God, Jesus, or you-fill-in-the-blank-with-a-perfect-being.

Our husbands are human. We are human. Our kids are human.

None of us should be worshipped or put on a pedestal, but we should be respected. Yes, even the kids. 😉

And respect is not only about BEING respected by others, it’s about SELF RESPECT. Which means WE count. Our opinions COUNT. Our feelings COUNT.

And, personally, if I was married to someone who worshipped me and disrespected his own worth in dererence to my own, I’d get a divorce. Because, WOW that’s a lot of pressure to be perfect!

Do nice things for your husband….YES! Will that help your marriage…YES! But, crossing the line into giving up your own self worth…NO!


    Missy 5 years ago

    Being obedient to your husband does not mean you do not expect him to give you respect back. It does not mean you do not have self respect for yourself. It does not mean that you do not count or that your opinions and feelings do not count.

      Cynthia 5 years ago

      The very words “obedient to your husband” curdled my ass, just a little bit. Just want you to realize that. Not all of us signed up to be leashed when we agreed to marry our PARTNERS. I sure as hell didn’t.

        Cyndi 5 years ago

        Yeah, obedient….no thanks. I am an adult with an adult partner. We do not obey each other or try to control each other.

        Missy, I’m curious, what do you do for YOU that has nothing to do with serving anyone else?

          Brandie 5 years ago

          RRRuuuuFFF! RRRUUUUFFFF! *wagging tail*

          Oh, sorry, the word “obedient” must have brought out the b*#%h in me.

          Missy 5 years ago

          I have a lot of things that I do for me.
          I read. I sew. I scrapbook.
          I love gardening.
          I have pampering days for myself.
          I have coffee dates with friends.


        Elle 5 years ago

        Can I just say that “curdled my ass” has got to be the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a while? Cracks me the F up!

        Missy 5 years ago

        Then replace the word obedient with respect. Because that is what it means.

        I am not on a leash. I am a partner with my husband.
        I am free to make my own choices and to voice my opinion.

    Julie 5 years ago

    Did she ACTUALLY say worship your husband? I missed that. Cuz if she did say that, that’s not cool.

      Missy 5 years ago

      I agree Julie. I may be obedient to my husband, but I do not worship anyone except GOD.

A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

I am running right out and getting a pair of stripper shoes in which I will feed my husband bacon while he watches the Bruins win every cup and the Red Sox win every world series all day everyday….because THAT might be his perfect day with his perfect wife.

I was expecting this to be much more sarcastic. But never the less still spot on!

(also? none of what you wrote came off as mean, imho)

    Pua 5 years ago

    I hope you will be naked under an apron because I’m sure that is something else he would enjoy.

      subWOW 5 years ago

      Right. Vapid. Work it, girl! Make sure you don’t give your husband an excuse to stray otherwise if he cheats on you, you will only have yourself to blame.

        A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

        It’s always the wifes fault, just add bacon and everything will be just fine.

        There should be a ‘d’ on the end of that delivere…doh.

      A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

      That having just delivere his brand new ferarri too.

Christy 5 years ago

Make fun all you want, ladies. Serving Him and my husband is what I was put on this earth to do. I know where I’m going when my time on earth is complete. Can any of you say the same?

    Cyndi 5 years ago

    Serving Him and your husband is what you were put on this earth to do? If so, more power to ya. It’s not for me.

    I’m pretty sure I’m being scattered in the ocean when my time on earth is complete but I won’t be able to supervise that situation, since I’ll be dead and all. After that, I’ll be back as a more evolved human being. So yes, I do know where I’m going and I won’t be serving anyone now or then.

      Christy 5 years ago

      Living with that sort of outlook on life must be hard.

        Cyndi 5 years ago

        Not at all, it’s pretty great actually!

        Maureen 5 years ago

        Actually, living with the knowledge that, as far as we know, this turn here on the planet may very well be all that we’ve got, makes it all the more important to find joy here, make here wonderful while we’re here, love the people in front of you now, because that might be all that you’ve got.

        This world, right here… It’s one hell of a paradise, if you take the time to notice it :-)

    Pua 5 years ago

    I’m pretty sure any sort god that there may exist wouldn’t deny my entry into heaven because I didn’t “serve” “Him” or my husband. I’m pretty sure the top priority would be being a good person, helping others, and being a good mother. I don’t think me nagging my husband, rolling my eyes, etc, or not going to church will be that important in the end.

      Missy 5 years ago

      Actually just being a good person and helping others and being a good mother does not get you into heaven. Read the bible. It tells you how to get there.

        Pua 5 years ago

        My god would let me in by being a good person. Maybe that’s why I’m not a Christian.

        Jennifer 5 years ago

        But it doesn’t have anything to do with serving your husband. It has everything to do with accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Assuming that you are Christian of course.

          Missy 5 years ago

          By accepting Jesus Christ as my savior, I vow to be obedient to Him. To be obedient to him, I need to be obedient to the laws in the NT. Serving your husband is a part of that.

    subWOW 5 years ago

    You are right. I cannot say the same thing because I believe in reincarnation and I have no idea yet what I will be coming back as. If I continue to do good the way I have, I sure hope I get to come back as a husband with a submissive wife who gives me no excuse to stray (wink wink). I seriously am looking forward to living the high life. So excited!!!

    Elle 5 years ago

    Oh here we go with the “I’m getting into Heaven and you’re not, neener neener” stuff. My relationship with God is personal and I would NEVER EVER in my time on this earth tell someone that because they didn’t do what I did, they wouldn’t be welcome in Heaven. When I was 11, my 13 year old brother died. Some Born Again woman told my mother that because we weren’t like her, he wouldn’t be welcomed into Heaven. Broke my mom’s heart even more, if that was possible. Don’t tell me who will and won’t, because you have no idea.

    We weren’t put on this earth to serve men. We were put here to be good people with level heads–and to do good things. We were put here to be good human beings, not servants to men. Do I love my husband? Hell yes, I do. Does he love me? Yeah! Does he cheat on me? Never have and never will. It’s called TRUST. Not “I’ll kiss your ass so you don’t ever leave me.”

    The way I look at it, God will sort it all out in the end.

      Missy 5 years ago

      “Don’t tell me who will and won’t, because you have no idea.”

      Yes, we do know who will and will not. God tells how to get there in His word. It is written out right there for you.

        Elle 5 years ago

        No, Missy. You really don’t know. It’s not your personal decision. God put us here to grow and evolve. He gave us conscious thought, the ability to learn and make choices. He never gave anyone the power to say who will and who won’t be welcome in the end.

        But for you? I’m thrilled that you’ve found a way to make yourself and your husband happy. It’s not for me, but if you’re happy, I’m happy. 😀

          Pua 5 years ago

          Elle. I just fell in love with you a little bit.

          Elle 5 years ago

          Hey Pua! It just ticks me off that some Christians–not all–but some, think that if you’re not doing exactly what they believe, that you’ve got an express ticket to hell. 😉 I wish that when that woman said that to my mother, that I was there to slap her smug face.

          Pua 5 years ago

          I was always taught that being a Christian is about being loving and accepting, like Christ. It’s funny how some of them don’t live that way at all.

          Missy 5 years ago

          I didn’t say you have to do exactly what I believe. You are free to make your own choices, just as I am.
          Just as it is your right to believe that I am crazy for what I believe, it is my right to believe that you are going to Hell because Jesus is not your savior.

          Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

          Hey, Elle. Thank you saying “not all.” I hate being lumped into that category. Now, while I believe in the bible (all, not part), and sometimes it’s “uncomfortable” to stand on the word of the bible when others disagree, I also would NEVER assume to make decisions for God, even based upon His word. So sure there are things listed there that “tell the way” but I also think that God can do what he wants, and who am I to make those determinations for him. It’s a little presumptuous. I do what I think is right, and try not to *shove* my beliefs down someone else’s throat. Also, I’m really really sorry someone said that to your mom. That was HUGELY insensitive, regardless of their convictions, and definitely not right to say that.

      kewkew 5 years ago

      I don’t believe this video and challenge is about kissing someone’s —– so they won’t leave them. I feel it is showing respect and encouragement and love to our husbands.

    Missy 5 years ago

    Christy, you are fighting a losing battle. Non-believers just do not understand this area of being a Christian wife. They are going to twist it and turn it however they want in order to make us look like subservient doormats.

      Elle 5 years ago

      But I AM a Christian! And no one’s ever told me to do these things. Ever. I just use common sense and know in my heart that I’m a good, honest person. I love my husband and he loves me. We’re partners and equal in this life we have together. And he’s HAPPY! He watched the video and said he’d never want me to act that way. He likes to have my input and my opinions. He appreciates it when I tell him how I feel, even if I have to be snarky or roll my eyes while doing it. We have passion in our marriage, even if that means having a knock down, drag out fight occasionally.

        Elle 5 years ago

        Plus, make up sex is awesome.

          PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

          Make up sex is nothing compared to angry/fighting sex! It’s the bee’s knees baby!

        Missy 5 years ago

        I also said above that I did not agree with everything she said in that video. I do think she is taking it to the extreme. I do, however, believe that as a wife, I am to be respectful and obedient to my husband.

        My husband likes to have my input and opinions as well. I am not a slave. I am not his child. He doesn’t rule over me. I am not a door mat.

        We have arguments and we have disagreements. For those, I am thankful for grace.

        The actual obedience that a wife shows a husband is taken out of context from the bible. I am sure that I am obedient to my husband in the same ways as most non-believers. It is just a different word for it.

        FWIW, I do not worship anyone but GOD.

      Christy 5 years ago

      I fear you are right.

    Jennifer 5 years ago

    I can with utmost certainty and it isn’t because I serve my husband.

      Julie 5 years ago

      I’m with you Elle. There is a reason why it’s not our place to judge who goes where. The verse in the Bible that talks about homosexuals not inheriting the kingdom ALSO includes liars, gossips, thieves, and the likes. So, with that in mind, and knowing the things I’m guilty of in my own heart? Doesn’t look like I’m going there either. But His grace is sufficient, and He’s the one who gets to decide who receives it!

      God calls us all to different ways of life, and part of being a Christian means that we follow where He leads. He’s leading the woman in question in this direction of complete servant hood to her husband. Who knows where it came from. Maybe she was a horrible wife before and treating him horribly and God convicted her. None of us knows! Maybe some of the other women have a struggle with even seeing their husbands as equals. You just don’t know where they’re coming from. I don’t have to make a conscience effort to submit to my husband, it just comes naturally. And yes, I know, “submit” is a scary word, but it’s not like I’m on a leash. It’s PART of the 2 way street everyone is talking about.

      No, of course you’re not going to go to hell b/c you don’t agree with her (Jennifer), I never even once inferred that, nor thought it!!! Love your husband well! That’s what’s REALLY important about the whole thing. Love him well.

Maria @BOREDmommy 5 years ago

That video needs to not exist – beyond painful to watch. I’m sorry but that is all kinds of crazy, and my husband agrees. Serving my husband? Excuse me while we laugh our asses off. Our marriage works because we ultimately love and respect each other, because we have fun together and because we both put in some damn effort. (Yeah, sex helps too – as do designer handbags). He knows who he married, and I know who I married, and we are each other’s priority. I’m not about to put him on some pedestal and I don’t want to be up there either thank you. Oh, and no complaining, nagging, eye-rolling, or criticizing? Yeah – that’s not going to happen. What a joke.

jodifur 5 years ago

It took me a couple of seconds to realize you were kidding. At first I was all, huh, what? But know all I have to say is thank g-d. We can be friends again.

Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

My favourite meal is patriarchy and my vision for my family is “on vacation at the compound.”

    Christy 5 years ago

    I resent the implication that all religious people are polygamists. My husband has never strayed, for I give him no reason to.

      Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

      Polygamy, by definition, isn’t straying.

      Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

      But more importantly…welcome to the Internet. Did you find someone who disagrees with you? That’s weird. It’s pretty homogenous.

        Missy 5 years ago

        Disagreeing is not the issue. My issue is the way the differing opinion was presented. There is definitely a more tactful way to present your different opinion rather then ridicule and sarcasm.

          Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

          Well hell, if you don’t like the crazies being ridiculed for choosing to believe crazy things, perhaps this essay on the real meaning of marriage in the New Testament will appeal to your more cerebral, measured, self. It’s fair and balanced and the crazies still come out looking like crazies.

      Cyndi 5 years ago

      Wait, let me get this straight……husbands only cheat because their wives give them reason to cheat? What reasons would those be exactly?

        Christy 5 years ago

        Yes, I believe that to be true. I give my husband everything he wants and needs, so there is no reason for him ever to seek out intimacy or support outside of the home. That means cooking for him, cleaning for him, pleasuring him, bearing his children, supporting him etc. And, through those things, I find contentment.

          Cyndi 5 years ago

          I’m happy for you that you find contentment but men cheat on women all the time who do everything they want them to do. Those reasons usually have nothing at all to do with what their wives do or do not provide for them.

          Cyndi 5 years ago

          Sorry, I can’t get over this one.

          So….you believe that you can control your husband’s behavior even though the god you serve cannot? You are more powerful than Him?

          AND….anytime a man cheats on his wife, it is the wife’s fault for not properly serving her husband?

          Christy 5 years ago

          I believe I can control my husband by keeping him happy and satisfied, yes.

          And, I would say there are other causes– drugs/alcohol, but I consider it my job to keep him from wanting those things as well.

          Cyndi 5 years ago

          Unbelievable that you that you think you have control over another person when god himself does not. You are one powerful woman. Can you please clean up the oil spill? We would all appreciate that.

          Christy 5 years ago

          Perhaps the oil spill exists for a reason. A punishment for greed? Ever thought about that?

          Noah 5 years ago

          Those must have been some greedy-ass shrimp to deserve having so much oil poured on them.

          subWOW 5 years ago

          Nope. It’s the pelicans’ fault. Ever see how they gobble up all the fish in one big mouthful? Yup. Not just greed, gluttony too.

          Cyndi 5 years ago

          No, I’m not Rick Perry. I don’t believe I have magical powers to control other people either. And if God is punishing the ocean for greed….nice guy… sign me up for servitude.

          Scary Mommy 5 years ago

          Oh, totally! Those pelicans’ are such assholes! Can we blame the Holocaust on them, too?

          Amber 5 years ago

          OMG this thread wins the whole thing!

          Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

          I come from a CHristian upbringing of the living God/personal realationship sort. So I don’t think that the “challenge” is hooey like so many others here. I get what that bloggers intention is. I think you, however, may have a few reality checks coming your way. To say that you can control your husband? Ever hear the phrase “God is in control?” That’s because we aren’t. Not of our husbands, not of our children. We are all “weak” and fall short and we are all tempted by *something.* So to try to be in control is to play God, to try and take His place. And to say that he causes/allows oil spills or natural disasters, death or disease, is to assume that you know what he is thinking. And that’s a pretty big assumption. I think you may need to seek a little more humility of faith.

          kewkew 5 years ago

          I am a Christian and I have been supporting this challenge, but I took offense at this thread because the way I read it I am the one who was responsible for my ex husband’s 3 different affairs through our 8 years of marriage. No matter what I did for him, or did to change myself, it would not have been good enough because he is a control freak and he wants what he wants when he wants it. I don’t think it is fair of you to make wives feel guilty for the wrongs their husbands have committed.

Amber 5 years ago

Oops, that was SUPPORTED my husband’s vision. Not supposed.

Amber 5 years ago

Wow. I feel like I’ve been transported back to the 1950s.

If I supposed my husband’s vision we’d be living on the streets. He’s not the best planner in the world…

Cyndi 5 years ago

The author of this nonsense is brilliant! She obviously got the flux capacitor to work and traveled back to 1930. YIKES. I had to laugh imagining myself even attempting this crap.

TwinHappyJen 5 years ago

Wow, my ovaries are just bursting with excitement :-p

sweetney 5 years ago

You capacity for sustained sarcasm just makes me love you more, you know.

Kirsten 5 years ago

ok – I just posted this idea over on BlogFrog about yr post Jill, and I liked the metaphor so damn much I had to bring it on over here.

This’s the deal: we’re all in agreement that marriage is a 2-way street, right? Also, I posit that a great marriage is based on equity/reciprocity. But to take the ‘street’ metaphor in another direction, I think that waiting for your partner to meet you halfway is kinda like a high-speed game of chicken – you keep waiting for them to make the big move, and then no one ends up moving towards a more healthy, mutually beneficial place. I think at heart, this woman is saying the same thing – that maybe we can be the ones to make a move that will ultimately benefit our partners AND ourselves.

Having said all that, this idea of ‘submission’ makes me INSANE and I can’t think rationally when people start throwing it around.

    Julie 5 years ago

    I’ve been thinking that same thing, that if you’re both sitting around waiting for things to get better (key word: IF. I understand that there are marriages that just WORK, and that’s awesome!), nothing is going to change, so why not be the one to make the first move? Like I said before, what’s it going to hurt?

Barbara 5 years ago

As a Christian, I see her point (somewhat). However, a Christian marriage is a two way street. Men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church too. So if you think about what Christ did for the church, a little prayer, fasting, and submission to a man who should be in turn completely devoted to your well being isn’t a bad thing. Scripture can be skewed 86,000 different ways so even though that is HER plan, doesn’t make it mine or yours, etc. In fact, if I was going to do all those things for my husband I wouldn’t blog it….that stuff is personal.

However, I can see how non-Christians would have a different view and that is everyone’s choice.

    Missy 5 years ago

    However, this blog is geared towards women. So of course the content would be for Christian women. We know it is a 2 way street. We know that the men have their part in it too. But this is about US doing OUR part.

      Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

      Yes, “we” may know, but the rest of the bashers out there don’t have a clue. They just don’t get it, so they’re ridiculing.

      Personally I’m not as bothered by Jill’s post as much as I am by the commenters.

        kewkew 5 years ago

        I have to agree with Kelly B(elly). I am definitely bothered more by the comments here than the original post. And as Missy stated the blog is geared to women and this challenge focuses on what we can do for our husbands. But as stated by others that does not make the wife a door mat.

        What bothers me even more is the “Christians” on here who are also ridiculing or disagreeing with the original video. If you are a Christian you are a follower of Christ. Jesus said if we love Him we will keep his commandments. The Bible is God’s book for us to follow. And in the Bible it states that a wife is to submit to her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24) If you read this passage you will note we as wives are to submit as the church is to submit to Christ. Yes I know it also states a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. As Missy stated, we know this is a two way street. But this video is addressed to the wife and how we can bless our husbands in the love of Christ. The Bible states that the man is the head of the home (1 Corinthians 11:3).

Pua 5 years ago

I really should send this challenge to some women…they would love it, literally. Especially if they thought I was participating. My husband and I are equals, plain and simple, but I always thought the saying was “Happy wife, happy life” because I can make his life a lot more miserable than he could ever make mine. I run this bitch.

    FFC 5 years ago

    Hahaha! My son once did the universal hand gesture for cracking a whip and verbally went “whaaaa-paaaa”
    Yeah that’s right, even his son’s know he is pussy whipped!

    pussy power! that’s my motto-

bitt 5 years ago

Jill, love that you had the guts to post this. My husband (who is arguably more feminist that I am) and I had a good laugh. We agreed that I might make is favorite dessert since he did 5 loads of laundry and did all the dishes.

Jayme 5 years ago

Ack. My husband plays video games, so he’s in her drug users/drunkards category… yet he’s hands on and changes diapers too…


C @ Kid Things 5 years ago

I didn’t even bother watching the video, the post was enough. I did, however, skim through some of the comments and I’m just stunned. It’s almost too sad to even be funny. I will say, though, I am not a dog, I do not need to be “obedient”. Faithful, loving, supportive, sure. Obedient? Really?

Lili 5 years ago

Whoa. First off I find it incredibly scary that women are giving Scary Mommy grief about her personal feelings about something she saw. If you want to “serve” your husband go forth but saying Scary mommy is “mean” or “picking on the woman”? Really?

Mrs.Christian in the little video needs to remember the little bit in the bible about “and the two shall become one”. I mean it as “equal partnership and reasonable tradeoff”. If Scary Mommy is pushing your buttons pray or fast or call your husband or wife or whatever.

Scary Mommy you are awesome and I think the Video Woman that is “serving” her man can keep on doing her business.

But I’ve one question: If she is so content and her husband is so happy-why does she feel the need to “teach” other people by video about how to manage THEIR relationships? Shouldn’t she be knee deep in good deeds? My guess is that if she had to make the video-there’s a really good reason for it. (Whoever made the secretary comment-yep. I agree.)

Angela @ Nine More Months 5 years ago

I could never do that. As a married couple, we are completely equal. We sometimes joke about me “getting in the kitchen where I belong” or something stupid like that, but I could never be a servant to my husband. Heck, I think he even does more of the housework than I do.

Denise 5 years ago

Two thigns:
One, I think the 127 women are the ones posting negative comments on your blog!
Two, I don’t think that is the person your husband married. So why would he want you to do it now?!

    Susie @newdaynewlesson 5 years ago

    hmmm, now wondering whether my comment is one viewed as by you as a negative one.

    What I do think is that everyone can choose to agree or disagree with anyone else. She has put her own personal views out onto the internet the way we all do when we blog, or facebook, or twit or comment. If she was standing outside your house picketing about how you were horrible and you need to see the light I could understand anger.

    I personally do not agree with what she is saying or doing, but that does not mean I need to ridicule her or call her names. She will never see your point of view the way you will never see hers. Do you really think that her “movement” will gain steam and threaten femininity or your way of life? I don’t. I don’t feel threatened by her views, because they are hers, not being forced on me and I am free to watch or not watch.

    So while I have not joined in on the name calling and bashing-which again if anyone feels it is appropriate to do-it’s up to them because there is freedom of speech, I also do not think my comment should be considered a negative comment because I won’t ridicule or make fun of her.

    Words used wrong lower us and our standards for ourselves.

    Christy 5 years ago

    I did not participate in the challenge, but may start now. I love it. Trust me, there are more than 127 women out there with our belief systems. The world would be a better place if everyone had values such as ours.

      Jennifer 5 years ago

      Of course, and we could all move to Stepford too.

Dana 5 years ago

You know that means you have to cut your boy’s curls, right?

Shelley 5 years ago

This rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s great to have a marriage where you care more for your spouse and look after them first, but that only works when you are both doing that. If it’s all one sided like she is saying, that’s not healthy at all. If he were to be doing the same challenges, it would make way more sense.

Corine 5 years ago

OMG… I was so frightened for a minute that you were serious. lol

Bruna 5 years ago


Yeah, the part where she says that drunk husbands, and the drug users, and the lazy selfish ones (plus, who knows, those who beat their wives?), they all “need a different kind of wife” – oh I am glad she clairifed THAT! :O Now how should their wives worship THEM? (seriously, “WORSHIP”, are you serious???)

Gee, someone shut her up please…

    Suzanne 5 years ago

    I almost choked on my water right there – did she really just say that being the “right kind” of wife can fix your dead-beat, alcoholic, drug-addicted husband? REALLY? Can she point me towards the Bible verse where God tells those women how to file a restraining order when they figure out that their husband’s problems are NOT their fault and no amount of serving them will fix them?

      Bruna 5 years ago

      Exactly, Suzanne. UnbeLIEVABLE! :/

      mrs ellenoy 5 years ago

      If you spend any time on her blog (which I unfortunately did) you will see that for her and her ilk, divorce is not an option ever. Therefore, she is a BIG advocate for ‘helping’ the husband be the kind of husband God wants him to be.

      Just exactly how does one do that when the husband is
      a. beating you/the children
      b. shooting up/drinking much of his salary

      So I guess you just have to find the right Wife Formula to fix the more ‘difficult’ kind of husband….

Lessons in Life and Light 5 years ago

And yes, I do know that you were being facetious. I re-read my comment and it came accross much more serious than I intended, lol.

P.S. The tab on her page about teaching/raising little girls to be homemakers? O.M.G.


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