Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I bought Jeff an iPad last week for our anniversary. He’s been lusting after one for months and with his crazy travel schedule and long commute, I couldn’t argue that it wasn’t the worst idea ever. Happy Anniversary, my love, and hello nightmare for me.
Sure, it’s not all bad. There is no more fighting over the laptop or having to log in and out of Facebook and Gmail constantly, but the trade off just isn’t worth it. I’ve never seen my husband this excited, and frankly, it’s pretty annoying.
He’s always on his iPad. I know, I know, I’m always on my laptop or iPhone, but it’s so much more irritating when your spouse does it. He is totally and completely obsessed with the functionality, features and ease of the machine. And, the apps. Oh, the apps…
Suddenly, he can be the architect he wanted to be as a kid. He can build cities and skyscrapers and map out streets! Amazing! And then there’s the restaurant he always wanted to own. Now, it can be his! He gets to buy food and layout the space and serve customers! And then, he can be damn Buddhist and take a break from all the building and serving with the free meditation app.
But worst of all, by far, is the fact that he can be the singer he was never meant to be. He downloaded the Glee karaoke app, and it just may be the reason we don’t make it our eleventh anniversary. My ears are bleeding, my head is pounding and I will never buy my husband another gadget again. Think I’m exaggerating? I present you Glee’s Imagine by Jeff, along with my most sincerest apologies.
{ 93 comments… read them below or add one }
Is it bad that I’m actually too scared to listen? LOL
You’re better off, not. There was just really no other way to illustrate my point, but you shouldn’t be subjected to it. You’d have nightmares.
Don’t do it! I was afraid and I caved. My ears will never be the same. ;0
Nope. I can’t do it, either. Just back from a 7 hour day trip with 3 kids. My head’s pounding is compliments of them.
Tell him not to quit his day job. Please.
Missy recently posted..Friday Feedback Cheerleader Kicked off Squad
I’ll pass that on.
I’m too scared to listen too :) Sorry Jeff
Carrie with Children recently posted..New Look – Coming Soon!
OMG that’s hilarious! My hubs said he would shoot me if I ever put something of him singing on my blog and I said well we don’t have to worry about it because I’m not buying you an Ipad and you won’t have the glee karaoke! HAHA
Erin recently posted..All about me!
It was his idea to add the link. Granted he wasn’t sober, but he did approve it. Wonder if it will seem like such a good idea when he was up. Heehee.
It is so sweet that he’s enjoying his iPad so much (envious beyond belief) but oh Boy, I’m at a loss for words after hearing him sing – sorry too Jeff.
Kim recently posted..A Big Hug for a Pug!
That’s funny. If I got my husband and iPad, all he’d do is check sports scores with it and play Mah Jhong. That’s all he does with his computer. He can barely do Email – he’s a tech-tard!
Adrian recently posted..MoneyMatters- Read the Fine Print
Seriously? It has autotune, and it STILL sounds like that?
Well, that’s not fair, really. I thought his take was very interesting, tune-wise. Especially the falsetto on “you-oo-oo-oo-oo.” And I think you’re a very brave and wonderful spouse.
Yes! It has autotune— that’s the most amazing part!
Oh my gosh…that was quite entertaining. Good effort, Jeff! I was almost too scared to listen but pushed through…listening to lots of “singers” now- haha!
Bethany recently posted..Testing
How hilarious! Does this app auto-tune? It doesn’t work very well eh? Haha, I wish I had it so I could screw around on it with my husband. :) Why don’t you two do an annoying duet and make it a date?
It works REALLY well, sadly. It’s that much worse without it.
*giggle* The heeehooo part is too funny. I’ve heard worse! My apologies to your head. ;)
GothhicGoddess recently posted..Food Pron Friday
I, too, am obsessed with my iPad…and my husband bought it for me. So you and my husband are in the same position: wanting to throw the iPad into oncoming traffic.
Tricia recently posted..The impact of a nonexistent fall
My computer, which isn’t an apple anything and is very, very old with 9 missing keys, can’t play any sounds right now, so sadly, I can’t listen! Hopefully the sound will be back up and running soon so I can enjoy this little diddy : ) I know it will be special! : )
Life with Kaishon recently posted..Interview with a Photographer- Sarah Robertson of Image Bearers Photography
So, I clicked on it.
OMG.
WOW.
Just…WOW.
Umm…Yeah.
Maybe we should just go back to that amazingly sweet comment he left you the other day instead of focusing on his Glee apps? Maybe? :)
Loralee recently posted..Sunday links- Pillows and Websites and Corpse Brides! Oh- MY!
For the sake of our marriage and your view of him, let’s do that. It’s for the best.
How funny! It reminds me of when my daughter was young. I hated when people bought her the loud toys with horns, songs and buzzing. The noise was not fun. If you are lucky his singing will improve.
Chaplain Donna recently posted..Bipolar Disorder- Living and Working with People that are Bipolar
Where can I send you some earplugs??
Crazy Lady recently posted..OOPS!! There IS Diet Water
I ended up whipping out a set last night. They’re going to be my new best friends.
Hahahah! You owe him one for putting this on your blog. I would die!!
beckie & the grub recently posted..Worth Every Penny
I must be crazy, I clicked on your name and then I was able to access even more songs (thought maybe you’d want to know). Thanks for the laughs!! Beth song cracked me up. Safety Dance I couldn’t finish tho.
HA- you could?! Beth was equally bad. Don’t even get me started on Safety Dance.
Wow … I’m just not sure who owes who more. Bless you both.
And happy belated anniversary to you! I saw your photos in your last post – you were a gorgeous bride! I couldn’t remember if I stopped by to wish you all the best on 10 years. Mazel Tov!
Oh my.. oh my… that can not be what John Lennon intended LOL
Has he heard his own recording? (that killed all my aspirations of ever becoming a singer..).
ROFLMAO!!
If you wanna make it to your 11th year of marriage then I would highly suggest you invest in “EM’s 4 Kids high quality Ear Muffs Protection from Baby Banz” .. Hahaha!! they’re what we put on our kids while at the Drag Races!!
John Lennon is doing cartwheels in his grave.
I misread the title. I thought it said I bought my husband an ipad and all I got was a pounding. Not such a bad trade off.
Who has time for that with new electronics?
My husband wants one as well, but thankfully I don’t think he would ever download the app so there would be no chance of anyone singing on my blog. I only listen to the first few bars, that was enough for me.
Melissa recently posted..First Real Train Ride
My wife and I both want one. For different reasons I am sure. Myself, I dont think you will regret this purchase. Speaking strictly as a husband and father, rediscovering our youth through gadgets yields a dad who is just one big kid. And in that, all in the family are fortunate.
Promise us this though, when you start playing on it, or doing karaoke, you will hit us up with a link as well
matt gordon recently posted..Net Carbs Marketing and Unintended Consequences
Of course. But, *I* secretly have a stellar voice. In my head, at least.
Now I want an ipad…. (fun fact: autocorrect on my iPhone thinks ipad should be “upas”. Any guesses on what an upas is?)
Kate Coveny Hood recently posted..Sound Byte- The Realist
The autospell is so odd. Should an iPhone of all things recognize that? I was trying to type Halloween yesterday and it was corrected to Ungria. Huh?
Every time I go to type “just”, it spells Judy. I’m like, “Who the hell is Judy?”
Lessons in Life and Light recently posted..Nick and Michelle’s Wedding Part II
OMG that was awesome! Too funny! My hubby says I spend waaaay too much time on my iPhone and I never spend time with him anymore. But I’m sitting next to him on the couch with my iPhone, what else does he want me to do??
Ha! On my way to pick up an iPad…..LOL
Eve @ Beautiful Spit Up recently posted..It’s My Birthday – I’ll Say What I want To
Now you have a rival, you know that don’t you :-)
I harmonize beautifully with so many singers, yet my family is constantly covering their ears. I am deeply hurt and confused by their unpleasant reactions.
(okay…I did once hear a recording of my singing..one of my snots recorded me on his phone. OF COURSE it was bad…it was on a phone. If I had a stage and a REAL microphone………..)
I think this is the very reason why my husband will never buy me an iPad for our anniversary. No, not because of the singing….because he knows I would be obsessed. It’s probably better that way. My guy would be the one singing along with the karaoke. Actually, now that I think of it, he’d probably take the thing over.
I will have to return later to listen to Jeff’s performance. D is sleeping being me at the moment and I’d hate to wake him up like that. From what I hear, that would just be cruel.
Lolli recently posted..What Women Really Want For Their Birthdays
Well, you are a wonderful wife for buying your hubby an iPad. And it is nice that he enjoys it so much, but what a horrible way for him to thank you!! Hope he soon realizes that singing is not his thing and that he should NEVER do it again!
Nicki recently posted..Cleaning and Organizing
I sound like Celine Dion or Charlotte Church in my head, so this would totally ruin my day :) B/c I know in reality I sound like a frog, and this would prove it to the world. But I adore that your husband let you post it — sober or not!!
Kim recently posted..To Sleep- Perchance To Dream
I bought myself an iPad for school, and I made the mistake of letting Brian read a book he was dying for on the Kindle app. Now it’s just something else to fight over. Lol
You’re one lucky, lucky woman. I can see why you’ve stayed married! Happy anniversary!
KMayer recently posted..When to Say No to Lousy Paying Jobs
My 21 month old son liked it, lol. He was singing along with Jeff.
That was the funniest thing I’ve experienced all morning! What a brave man allowing you to share that with us.
Gigi recently posted..Boys are worthless when it comes to picking out a shoe
oh, I am dying, this is too funny! Yeah, the hubs will not be cutting a record deal any time soon. I’m feeling for you–all my husband does to completely annoy me is watch ’80′s movies over and over and over again. If I never have to see any scene from “A Few Good Men” or “Top Gun” ever again, I would be a most satisfied wife.
dusty earth mother recently posted..I love me a good flu shot
That was hilarious! I’m also married to an off-key, Glee loving kid…I feel your pain.
Sam recently posted..Free Tea – Various
The really scary part is that Jeff probably thinks he didn’t sound bad.
What’s sad is I’m thinking about getting that app…..looks like fun! Just one more item to keep me on my phone. Well hubby’s at work today so maybe it’s a good day to try it.
Oh my god. The auto-tune is freaking GENIUS!
Robin recently posted..Wordful Wednesday
My husband lies when people ask him how he likes his. He says it’s “fine” but he is NEVER WITHOUT IT. He may be embarrassed about his addiction to it, but I know the truth.
Thanks my husband and I needed a laugh you and your husband have spread joy today! I think he sounds great in the sense that he is going for it! Gotta love the commitment to give it his all! LOL!
When my husband got his iPhone we named it iWife. Now if I can just get that bitch to give bjs we are all good. :)
I was afraid to click but i did. Hilarious! I only lasted a few seconds before i clicked on other songs and they weren’t any better. Glad he loves his iPad. I now know what i want as my christmas present.
Niya Clifton recently posted..Scentsy Candles
Ha! Amazeballs. I can NOT believe it auto-tunes.
John Lennon would be um, proud?
Happy 10 years!
Adryon recently posted..The Pioneer Woman’s Burgundy Mushrooms
That is too funny!
I am thinking of getting the iPad for the hubby for Christmas. Can one block apps? Haha!
Happy Anniversary!
Kelly recently posted..To Do or Not To Do List is My Friday Question
How funny!!!
You are a good wifey!
My husband and I both have one (we started out with just one and fought over it so much it was either make the investment for a new one or pay a lawyer to sort out custody), so I totally get the obsession. The singing… not so much… although, to make you feel better, compared to my husband your husband sounds like John Lennon, so there, it’s all relative. Plus, there’s so many apps that this one won’t hold his attention for long.
Moomser recently posted..Food fairs and chocolate
I know it will be hard to believe, but…. I sing worse than Jeff. Seriously.
Jennifer recently posted..Jodi and Jennifer on Glee Gone Wild
Jeff simply belongs in my family…without a doubt. When Sam was born, I refused to let anyone sing to him, thinking he might stand a chance…but genes are genes!
My hubby bought me an iPad and I have a feeling he is regretting it. I am always on it and I am sure he feels like he is not getting the attention he deserves. But I cant help it. It is my new addiction. It is like crack. I wish I could say that the “newness” of it will wear off…..but it hasnt for me yet.
Sorry J!
Good job, Jeff! Don’t let Jill make you feel badly about your singing…she never appreciated my singing either!
Happy belated anniversary!
My hubby offered to get me one for X-mas. I said he shouldn’t, but maybe I will change my mind:)
ZippyChix recently posted..Favorite Zippy Traditions
I’m rarely at a loss for words, but, just. wow. I got about 10 seconds into it and had to quit. You should be nominated for sainthood.
Stacey recently posted..Midwestern Mamah’s Ghost Story Series
Oy.
lceel recently posted..Monday Meanders 10-25
Bwaaaahahaha!!! OMG, I’ve never heard autotune without the “tune” before, lol. Hilarious.
Lessons in Life and Light recently posted..Nick and Michelle’s Wedding Part II
I agree- it is WAY annoying when hubs is on his phone/computer. Even though I am ALL OF THE TIME! And that singing? Tell Jeff to keep his day job.
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation recently posted..Nash-Vegas- 10 Years Ago
That is a beautiful thing. Ask my kids and they’ll you that dad only knows one way to sing and that is LOUD!
Jack recently posted..The Red Dress
I love it and I adore that app. I lust after it on my mom’s ipad. My husband refuses me the gift of an ipad. You are a good wife.
I couldn’t resist and clicked through. Wow. I can see where you are coming from!
Brittany at Mommy Words recently posted..Inspiration from a Hot Air Balloon
My ears are bleeding… my eyes are watering… I have to pee…
what is this?
Jennifer June recently posted..Lonely-crazy-single-lady-syndrome…
Maybe you should be a helpful sweetie and suggest if he took the ipad into the shower with him and sang… that the improved acoustics would make him sound awesome?
Just thinking ;)
Lee H recently posted..Hyland’s Teething Tablets Recalled
You are one funny lady! It’s awesome that you posted this! LMAO!
OMG! I listened to his Twinkle Twinkle Little Star bit. I pray that he did not sing that to your children as he rocked them to sleep as babies. Poor poor children. lmao
OMG. I clicked just to check out the Glee app and whoa, that was scary, daddy! ; )
Those are A-DORABLE! If I won one of these gorgeous paintings I would get my Daughter, Nina-Skye’s painting of her Cute Fat Stuffed Monkey she named MiMi! She got MiMi at my Baby Shower and now she is almost 6 yrs old & MiMi is still pulled onto the bed at night so she can fall asleep on her fat belly…Ha! Must remind her if my fat belly! LOL!
That is so stinking cute! Both my boys have a special blankie and I had a Teddy bear that my mom made me that I named T Bear. If I won I’d love to incorporate all three together.
Oh, my! That is, um, unique.
Late Mommy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- New Puppy Countdown-1 More Week
“You may say I’m a dreamer” made me cringe.
Jill. Ouch. You realize this makes you an enabler? :P
Brie recently posted..The Wifey Reigns Again
“I know, I know, I’m always on my laptop or iPhone, but it’s so much more irritating when your spouse does it.”
My husband and I play dueling laptops – we lie in bed with our laptops on our laps reading or watching completely different things, waiting for the other person to stop first.
There was also the time I got into LOST and began watching episodes continuously on Netflix. I did it in response to his watching something inane, but he got so upset! Much more irritating when the spouse does it indeed.
Oh my…I thought my Palm obession was bad, but nope WRONG AGAIN. LOL
I am sorry that the IPAD is coming between the two of you….sort of like Hockey , and Law & Order do to us. LOL
Still that IPAD sounds amazing….and I think I want one. hehhehehh
Kir recently posted..Remembering Daddy
I’ve got to talk to your husband to get his full list of apps because we kinda played with our iPad for a bit, tried a bunch of stuff out and now basically use it for three things- reading the Times, checking email and buying stuff on GILT.
mommyshorts recently posted..Tiny Terror Declares War On Nursery
That really made me laugh out loud. I love the sincerity in his voice and the “background vocals”. Hahahahaaaaaaa!!! Loved it. Loved. It.
Kelley recently posted..Today we salute you- Ms Tortilla Chip Basket & Tea Refiller!!
Did you know that the traditional anniversary gift chart lists aluminum (traditional) or diamonds (modern) as the ideal tenth anniversary gift?
This fact begs the question: Where is that gorgeous diamond your hubby bought you?! After that singing you certainly deserve one!
Sunday recently posted..My cup runneth over
Am I the only one who thought he sounded pretty good? Anyone, anyone?
*tumbleweeds*
It’s a little pitchy dawg!!!!! Sorry, that’s the only phrase I remember from American Idol.
This is the funniest blog I’ve read all week!
Deirdre recently posted..Day 64
is it bad when a deaf person couldnt stand listening to him sing? sorry J.
Can’t annoy the teenagers next to me in Starbucks but I am DYING to see Jeff sing. Yeah, call me crazy. Must click over later. But you know you just built the case for the ipad big time, right? Cause now I really want one. Damn you! But wait, the holidays are approaching…
The Flying Chalupa recently posted..A Break Room of One’s Own
Hello. I am new to twitter and I added you to follow so I’m catching up on your posts. You really write some good ones about your husband!! I thought I was the only one who felt the way you have posted. My husband gets something new or comes up with a new hobby and he becomes obesessed! He’ll stay up all hrs of the night new hobby…uhh and forget we have 2 young kids.
Not sure how I came across this, but I just spat my cereal on the screen listening to your hubs singing. God help you all.
Cyndi recently posted..Where in the world is Cyndi Sandiago?