My daughters are 5 and 7 and I love them so hard it hurts. I also happen to think that they’re entitled brats, and it makes me want to cut a bitch. Before you go and get your panties in a big crusty wad, hear this:
I take full responsibility. It’s my fault. I made them this way.
Unfortunately, parents are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to raising kids because once we’ve realized the error of our ways, our kids are already assholes, and undoing the damage is next to impossible.
I’m well on my way to remedying the damage I’ve done. I require manners, we talk about gratitude and I seize teachable moments as they arise with the hope of making my children good people. They’ve begun to understand these lessons, but it’s an uphill battle. It also doesn’t help when they see other entitled brats running the shit show in their worlds.
Allow me to expand …
Children Who Want To Be Waited On
It all starts when they’re little babies and we have to wait on them hand and foot. But guess what? They grow up and they can do useful shit! Even a 2-year-old can clean shit up.
“Mom! Get me some water.” Hells no. Get the fuck up and use those things on the end of your arms. They’re called hands, and they’re super useful.
“I want a snack.” Thanks for the information, child. Last I looked, you were able to take your ass over to the kitchen and put those things we talked about to work. Remember? Those hand-thingies? Plus, kids who use zero manners with me, get zero help from me.
One word: DINNER. Don’t get me going or I might lose my shit. One meal. Period. And furthermore, those little hands can wield a knife and chop shit. You want to eat it? You can help make it.
Children Who Refuse To Do Chores
I’m starting to sound like a real curmudgeon, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend the next 15 years cleaning up after a pack of wild fucking animals. Toys, clothes, glitter, shoes, backpacks, skid marks …
Is it easier to clean it up myself than to deal with their whiney bullshit?
Is it faster if I do it?
Am I ready to put the smack down and do what it takes to make them accountable, responsible and grateful, even if it means I have to endure hours of pain and suffering whilst molding them into good citizens?
Children Who Have No Concept of Money
Every time I go to Target, the begging and pleading drives me to insanity; they want everything! I used to take them to the dollar bin just to shut their yappers, but no more. We converse about prices, we talk about budgets and I tell them that they can have anything that they can pay for. They get a small allowance; they’re learning about budgeting and spending.
You can spot a spoiled kid from a mile away, always bragging about their new shoes, their new bike, their new blah blah blah. Clearly, it’s not the child’s fault; the parents are running amok, showering their ungrateful kids with more and more shit, creating the ultimate 7-year-old consumer. Lock that shit down and teach your kid the value of that money you’re throwing around.
The crux of the problem – and my failure as a mother – is this: we don’t want their help because it creates a hell of a lot more work for us. When they help prepare meals, we have to watch them chop, they spill shit all over and frankly, we’re all just a little afraid a finger will end up in the salad.
Our shortsightedness leaves us with the inability to delegate to them. We want to avoid that which makes our life harder in the moment, but so much easier in the long run. The battle that comes with asking them to contribute is a high-stakes fight and a crucial point that all parents need to work through. The payoff is freaking golden, and my hope is that by their 10th and 12th birthdays they’ll be making dinner for me. Gimme some meatloaf Biiiiaatch! (Please and thank you.)
I don’t know about you, but my entitled brats and I are on the path to glorious redemption and taking the battles one by one by one. Parents! For the love of all things holy, keep fighting the good fight; our kids will be leaders one day, and a good leader knows how to clean her own goddamn room.