Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
- Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013
Tonight, my children were on my last nerve. Last nerve. I was trying to get some work done, and they were running around like wild, out of control animals, refusing to eat their dinners and flat out ignoring me. After I unsuccessfully called them in to the table for the 37th time, I began losing my temper. When I heard them laughing at my increasing anger, it only made things worse. By the time I finally located them using their hot-pink-berry-from-the-back-yard-stained-hands to finger paint each other and the house, I lost it.
I was far too angry to even grab the camera. When a Mommy Blogger is too pissed off to document a hot pink photo op such as this, you know she means business. Their shirts were off, their bodies stained pink and they all had amused expressions on their faces. All of them, except me. I grabbed my pink children and led them by the ears into the house, hissing at them their future punishments. I wanted to scare them. To shake them up into taking me seriously for once.
As I loudly slammed the screen door behind me, I caught glimpse of a neighbor gawking at me. Gawking at me like I have gawked at spanking in public or people who speak to their children in vicious tones. Gawking at me like I was one of those people who are undeserving and unfit and need to take a deep breath and calm the fuck down. Like that woman who made news a few months ago for dragging her tantrum throwing child from a store. Those people who are so easy to judge. Me.
At least nobody pulled out a video camera today. Because the footage could have made the evening news. And the children? They’re sleeping peacefully now and look like freaking angels. Freaking angels with pink hands.
{ 80 comments… read them below or add one }
I know what those nights are like. And I have just one who’s old enough to really push my buttons. It doesn’t last long, but they seem to get you on the day when you have the most work to do. Can’t wait until my daughter starts acting up.
But when they’re sleeping like angels, don’t you just want to give them a great big bear hug?
We try to be perfect parents, but we’re human, after all.
Just go grab some nutella and call it a night. Tomorrow will be better.
.-= Mariano´s last blog ..Twitter Precision and Follow Friday =-.
You know me well. :) Nutella makes it all better!
My dad is in town visiting us for a few days and he gave that exact look to a lady in the grocery store today. Her little one was crying, crying, crying and my dad something like I hate parents that don’t take care of their children. I told him just because that baby is crying doesn’t make that lady a bad mom. It doesn’t mean she isn’t taking care of her child. He rolled his eyes.
How many times have I been in that lady’s exact situation at the grocery store and gotten those looks? The thing is: he’s been there too. All parents have. He’s just forgotten.
I hope I never forget. I hope I never give those looks.
.-= 3 Stinky Boys and Me´s last blog ..Wake Up! Wake Up! Wake Up! =-.
So true. I hope I never turn into that nasty old lady at the grocery store who scowls at exhausted parents. If I do, I totally deserved to be tripped.
I think my neighbors (the ones who don’t know us) think I’m a horrible parent. Whenever I’m outside with the kids, all I do is scream, “Oliver! No dirt!” “George – you have to LISTEN!” “Eleanor – come back here!” What a shrew.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Make Mine a Double: Part I =-.
Ah, ain’t motherhood grand?
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I cried in public. Again. =-.
This was the first time I have seen that video…. and I actually laughed – and snorted – out loud. Anyone who is a parent (and who doesn’t have an army of nanny minions to do her bidding) can relate to that. I had a similar night myself (the dragging inside by the ears, not the dragging around the store on a leash). I’m so glad it’s Fall and the windows are closed so the neighbors can no longer hear the screaming from inside the house. Mine or Theirs. ;)
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Fab Friday: October 2 =-.
The video was all over the news and people were outraged. Horrified. I totally related to it!
Not crazy just desperate!!!! I call them sleeping-angels,devils-in-motion in such times. And the worst part is that none of those cultivated ‘best practices’ work!!
Don’t worry yourself about public opinion . I redevelop the hide from my teenages (remember those ‘I-don’t-care-a-dam’ days!) and busy my mind with wondering about the lost virtue of being non-judgmental!! (I even shake my head a bit to show exasperation)
I do believe that kids have a good sense of people’s emotions and they co-operate very easily when you are not feeling well. However, when its work you’re trying to rationalize about, their eyes dilate, their mind starts wandering and they suddenly become deaf!!! One child is still manageable, but a group!!!! Urgghhh I really do shudder. Still I’d hate to suggest a divide and rule policy (I know parents who will resort to praising one child in the hope the others may be influenced to follow suite, but it’s things like these which can sow the seeds of sibling jealousy) so a small harmless bribe may help in the next outbreak. Where coercion fails, persuasion wins!
.-= Shalvika Sood´s last blog ..No-nonsense message from a school =-.
LOL, good advice!!
We all judge other parents when they do something “absurd” in public. And we all do “absurd” things in public to our kids when they push our buttons the right way. I know I’ve thought “how dare they” to other parents and then done the exact same thing later. Just one of the many joys of parenting.
.-= Bruce Teague´s last blog ..3 Ways to add Value and Meaning to your Family Time =-.
That’s so true. A few years ago, I was so grossed out by a neighborhood parent who let his kids run around topless and pee in the bushes. Now? I’m totally that parent.
Oh, boy, I bet NONE of your readers thinks you are crazy (though I would have liked to see your photographic take on the pinkness)! It always amazes me that the little ones simply cannot see when they’ve pushed your buttons too hard – they’re still laughing while you’re ready to physically harm something! I used to threaten ‘em with duct tape, but they knew it was an empty threat – I probably should have carried it out once or twice just to keep it viable. When I had my first baby, my dentist told me to make the kid fear me – I pooh-poohed it at the time (first-time-Mommy mushiness), but I did regret it (sometimes) later!
Keep your chin up, and remember, it’s only a few years before they will be out, in the night, in your car, doing who-knows-what.
The thought of them out in a car at night makes me ill. I’ll take this any day!
We all have those moments! Cut yourself some slack and when the pink hand stained angels wake up, remind them how much you love them.
.-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- My new nephew =-.
I know what you mean. I’m a screamer to. I don’t like to be my kids are 15 months apart and it is like having twins. Where i live they like to call Welfare on you.
Oh, I’ve had a day like this before. TTL there aren’t video cameras because my children would blackmail me with the tape; LOL!
[You know none of their shinanigans would be caught on tape; just my psycho freak out in response.] :-)
Ugh, and then I dislike myself. Being a great Mom is hard. Very hard.
Happy Wednesday!
.-= Glass_Half_Full´s last blog ..Dear Chatty Gymnastic Moms… =-.
Ohhhhh I’ve been there, my friend. I’ve been. I used to investigate child abuse and neglect…and sometimes I think, “damn, I’m acting JUST LIKE those people I used to investigate”. How’s that for guilt? Gah…
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..From Russia, With(out) Love =-.
LOL, ouch!
–>It happens to the best of us. Everyone is allowed to lose their temper and on some days, they just put us over the edge!
~deb
http://www.WebSavyMom.com
At our house, we like to call that Monday.
.-= Sharon´s last blog ..Dear Phone Company =-.
Oh, I’ve been there. And I think in the US people are a little too quick too gawk and call CPS. We all have those times, come on. As long as it’s not a constant thing, I don’t see what the big deal is.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..The quest for moderation, contentment and a 24-inch waist =-.
I blame it on the full moon we are experiencing. Madaline has been an absolute terror. Just a ball of sheer energy – leaving nothing but debris and destruction in her wake. Oye! I even said to my Dada the other night, that I now understand why some species choose to eat their young. This was after, I got home from work, the house looked like a tornado went thru it – AND, my Dad had just picked Maddy up from the sitter & was only at my house with her for about a 1/2 hr. It was a LONG night.
Either way, Nice to know I am not alone.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..Wordless/Wordful Wednesday: Mayhem & the Mischief Makers =-.
It’s SO nice to know that we aren’t alone. I totally love you all.
That video is hilarious!!! When my 2nd son was in the 2 to 3 year range, he used to wear bib overalls ALL THE TIME. I would never drag him through a store like that lady did, but what I would and DID do was pick him up by the crossed straps of his overalls and carry him around like a suitcase.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Monday Nght Football =-.
That image has me cracking up— I’ve done the same thing. Those straps are mighty handy!!
I remember before I was a mom I couldn’t understand…now that I’m a mom to a 2 year old and a 2 month old? I sooo understand!
Isabella was upset at the store one nite and a woman with a toddler herself kept talking about us to the cashier in the next lane. Bitch. Lets just say I know her child has thrown a fit somewhere. No matter what all kids have. And there she was acting like the perfect mother.
I hope tonite is better for you lady! It almost has to be better, right?
.-= Chelle´s last blog ..A Few Baptism Pics… =-.
We shall see. I say it can always be worse! ;)
Thank you for this dose of reality.. its ok that it’s not june clever land and we’re not bad people for wanting to punt our kids through a window.. figuratively speaking…. uhhh..
I’ve had plenty of those times. Even sometimes when I’m yelling at my kids to stop or get down or a million other things while inside the house, I’ll find myself quieting down a little because I wonder if the neighbors can hear and what in the world would that sound like? Sometimes, though, especially with my 3 year old, he won’t listen to me otherwise. Hell, he never listens to me anyway.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Parenting Is =-.
My 3 year old is the same way. There is nothing more frustrating that being ignored.
I live in fear of situations like that! One time I was grocery shopping with a little girl a babysit. We were leaving and she ran into the parking lot. I quickly grabbed her arm so that she would hold my hand and SHE BIT ME. I grabbed her arm harder and forcefully led her to the car. I distinctly remember the look on someone’s face when that happened. Terrifying.
.-= Nel´s last blog ..Please forgive me, for I have sinned. =-.
Wow. I would NOT have reacted well to that.
Okay, so that sounds like a rough night, Jill! I hate nights like that! I had an ‘episode’ this morning with Christos. He refused to go to school. I was driving to work, and got a call from my mom. It was about 10 minutes before they had to leave for school, but Christos wanted to watch Honey I Shrunk the Kids and he refused to go to school. I turned around, got home and told him he had to go to school. He rode his bike instead. I yelled at the top of my lungs at him. My throat hurts. I totally lost my tember. I even tried to pick him up to get him in my car, but he went limp, you know? NOTHING would work. I think the entire neighbourhood heard me. I should stop now, as this could have been a blog post in itself! But yeah, he didn’t go to school today. SIGH SIGH SIGH!!!!
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..Excitement. Panic. Realization. Calmness. =-.
Ohhh, I hate when they pull the limp act!!!
oooo girl I hate when people give that stare. that’s when I just stare back at them or if I’m close enough I fart. (well sometimes I can fart on command).
screw her…she doesn’t have a life and wants to watch yours.
.-= dawn´s last blog ..mushroom bisque w/ crispy shallots =-.
You can fart on command? I’m impressed.
It happens to the best of us.
.-= Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Gift Ideas for people who are hard to buy for…and helping a great cause =-.
We all have days like that. *sigh*
Though, if you ask my mother, *she* didn’t. I seem to remember differently…..
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..A Few Thoughts =-.
All of us are like that at some point in life. I usually make sure the windows are shut before I cut loose tho…
Our meek and mild neighbors across the street yelled at their son in the garage one day with the garage door open. She screamed and yelled at him as he drove away. I was actually quite relieved that I wasn’t the only one with kids like that!
.-= Val´s last blog ..She’s 15!!! How did THAT happen? =-.
It always amazes me how angelic children look while sleeping……that’s the thing, I think. They spend their angelic moments asleep. That’s why I rarely see them when they are awake. :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday-Fall =-.
What a cute little blog you have here. Well cute might not be the best word; your blog RULES :) Nice work my new friend!
Yeeeaaaaaaah.
My neighbors are far worse at parenting than I am. That is my only solace.
xoxox
.-= mrs chicken´s last blog ..Time Time Time, What Have You Done to Me? =-.
OMG. That’s funny.
I was at a Thomas the Train event this summer and lost my cool in front of a lot of parents. I was chewing out my husband. And I felt the stares. And you know what? My first thought was – oh f*ck, I hope no one here recognizes me from my blog.
Ha!
My precious 4 year old write on and destroyed one of my good dinning room chairs yesterday, and I didn’t handle it, well, quietly. We all have our moments.
that should have been wrote on, sorry! Still a little mad!
I here ya sista! I have gotten so mad at my kids I want to grab my keys and drive away into the sunset. It is amazing how all the anger and frustration goes aways when they are sleeping angels in bed. Pink, that great.
.-= Malia´s last blog ..Friends-Day Wednesday =-.
I have found myself (more than once) wishing I hadn’t yelled quite so loudly at my daughter with the windows open because what would the neighbors think?!
thanks for your honesty :)
.-= tracy´s last blog ..Giuliana & Bill =-.
Lol, been there done that.
One of the posts I got the most comments ever on was about that…it was about me screaming at Angry Toddler at Disneyland.
Good times, that’s why you’re scary and I’m angry..soul mates in blogging…
I think my reader is screwed up, I don’t seem to be getting your posts.
.-= Julie @ Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Potato Chip Chicken Nuggets =-.
I can so relate. I growled at one of my children one day as we tried to cross a street. The kid was attempting to pull away from me and a car was coming. As we averted disaster I looked up and saw a mom pushing a newborn in a stroller. I smiled but wanted to yell, “you may not believe it but you’ll be doing the exact same thing one day, one day soon!” You’re not crazy, you’re in survival mode.
.-= Vicki´s last blog ..The one with the angry lady “living” at the hotel =-.
I always want to warn those poor, innocent mothers too. Just you wait, ladies. :)
At least once every couple of days I worry that I am screaming so loudly that the neighbors can hear. Through closed windows. Screaming at a TWO YEAR OLD. Because she absolutely, positively doesn’t listen. At all. Like I had her ears tested because I was worried she was deaf. She’s not, btw. I cringe when I think what it’s going to be like in a few years.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Why So Serious? =-.
I’m laughing because I SO did that. Such brats!
You speak for all of us! I’ve had more of these moments than I can count and I’m one of those who stares at the other mom out there, silently judging her parenting and then shaking myself out of my judgemental stupor to remind myself I was just there – 10 minutes ago.
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
My little monsters seem to enjoy bringing me to the edge of losing it too. Evil I tell you, children are pure evil.
.-= cristin´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: It’s All Fun and Games til Someone Loses Their Whiskers. =-.
I so understand this. We are on the same wave length. I am working on a similar post. Ah, motherhood and all its glory.
.-= Jen @ buried with children´s last blog ..Mommy Time =-.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes a button just goes off in our heads telling us to lose it.
I am going to have the BESTEST Nutella dessert posted soon. Just for you :)
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Whole Chicken in a Crockpot & Asian Inspired Asparagus =-.
Pink is very angelic, you know . . .
.-= A Mom on Spin´s last blog ..The Curse of the Good Girl =-.
Must have been something in the air tonight. Katie got sent to bed almost immediately after dinner. It is quite possible the neighbors were just watching and thinking, “Now THERE’S a mom who’s not afraid to parent. She deserves a high five!” ;)
.-= Julie B.´s last blog ..Please! I’ve never asked for anything before! =-.
We wouldn’t have to go crazy if the damn kids would stop behaving like CHILDREN!
.-= Jenni Jiggety´s last blog ..WW: Dental Drama…A Family Story =-.
That sounds like a blast. We are dealing with a 16 month old who does not want to be strapped down in her high chair but wants to crawl across the dinning room table. I want more of these little buggers.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..Like mother, like daughter….. =-.
Once, when we still lived in out TH in Bowie, I put my I-hate-yoou-Mommy-I-wanna-move screaming kid on the porch too “cool down” (meaning I needed to cool down). He started banging hysterically on the door and 1 of my neighbors came over to tell me he was locked out. Wow! Embarrassing. ‘Course, I totally played it off saying I was racing to the door to let him in. Yeah right. Anyway, your kids may think you’re a psycho raving lunatic (oh, did you not say that?), but I so love you, as evidenced on my blog today!
.-= parenting BY dummies´s last blog ..The Mama Kat Challenge =-.
We are all human and sometimes have those moments of freak out. For those who stare at these types of situations or whisper just loud enough for us to overhear, they need to STOP! I will admit, prior to having a child I used to be that gawker (sigh)…however, I now sympathize with parents who have a child acting out in public. Those people just make the situation worse for the parents of the wild child because it makes our blood pressure boil!
You are right, they are all angels when they sleep and it makes you forget how bad they can be sometimes! :)
Next time, grab that camera because we want to see pink children!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..What Does A SAHM Do? =-.
How many freaking times have I screamed at my children–threatened sure beatings–only to find out my windows were all open and the whole neighborhood could hear?
And, yes, being so mad you didn’t even take a picture is MAD.
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Parent’s Choice =-.
oh yes. I totally understand.
I’m sure we have all had days and nights where we’re glad there are no video cameras on us! Argh – pink hands. Hopefully they didn’t stain the sheets!
.-= christy´s last blog ..NYC Shopping Advice, Por Favor =-.
Love it! I know I have gotten some looks before out in public, my thoughts, if my kids are acting up they need to know its not ok. How else are they supposed to learn? For those parents who give us the evil looks, there kids are most likely the ones who are causing the most trouble, because they are never punished!
Mud Pies For Mommy
http://mudpiesformommy.blogspot.com
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Things Kids Say Thursday’s #4 =-.
This is actually a fear of mine. Ending up on CNN on a grainy surveillance video beating the heck out of my rotten kids in the dairy aisle.
Sounds like it would make a great idea for a reality show. Oh, wait….
.-= Seattledad´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late Edition =-.
Been there done that…I would not think you were crazy at all. I would probably offer you a glass of wine!
I didn’t see the mother from the news… and I am scared to watch it! I was a psycho with kaish and naji one day in the store this summer. They started FIST FIGHTING in the middle of the frozen food aisle! I break them apart and head to the milk and bread aisle and you guessed it! Fighting again. It was insane in the membrane. I was so mad I can’t even imagine what I sounded like… I am sure it was NOT loving!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Enchanting Childhood =-.
Oh thank you, I am not alone!!! LOL!!! That sounds so much like me and my amazing trip to Target with my 3 little monsters!!! I do believe I was one of those mothers I use to look at and think that mom needs to get a grip. I also often wonder what my neighbors think of my occasional outbursts. Hey, we are only human and can only tolerate so much. I always end those day with a glass or two of wine. Well, actually I end most of my days that way!!! :) I am definitely a subscriber!!! I didnt see a place to follow.
.-= Simply Mommy´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop from Momma Kat – When I Look Into the Mirror =-.
Oh my, that describes so many of my days! Thanks for painting the true picture of motherhood! :)
(Although my kids usually have painted each other with “warpaint” they made from red clay and crushed berries in the backyard.)
ahhhh, a mom just like me! I would have ran over and gave you a high five. =)
.-= Summer´s last blog ..Fashion makes Monday happy =-.
I am so afraid of this. The fact that I’m usually pretty even keeled, and then one day, when I’m at my wit’s end, someone, whose opinion I value, will see me at my worst. It happens to everyone…just bake your neighbor some cookies. I’d forget about it for cookies.
.-= LZ @ My Messy Paradise´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday. Sort of… =-.
That scene is something that is played out in my house, nightly.
I am convinced that the lady directly across from us is secretly videotaping my dinnertime scenarios. Scary thought, indeed.
.-= Momlissa´s last blog ..Google Tag =-.
OMG, this happened to me!
I was INSIDE my house, kitchen window open, using my “devil” voice to get my children to calm the fuck down and chill out and that’s when I noticed that the neighbors were outside grilling on their back porch, a mere 20 feet from our open window. OOPS!
Hmmm. I am probably the role model for a true, really scary mommy as well as grandmother too! I have on numerous occasions over the past 42 years probably broken every cardinal rule about child rearing!
From the time my youngest (of three children) was almost 4 years old, I was a single parent and my ex -well, when he was around, we both actually believed in corporal punishment for misdeeds of the children. Not beatings, but spankings, yes. Dr. Phil would so have ripped me a new one I’m quite sure for some of the things my kids had to put up with from me! I was then -still am -loud, can be aggressive and intimidating too and with a vocabulary that probably could rival many a sailor, there were only a very few words of the bad kind my kids didn’t hear come from me now and again over the years. (My grandchildren -two who along with their parents and older half-sister -live with me, still get a royal dose of the bad language from time to time too. Not bragging about that, just saying that because I do cuss and why lie about it when my neighbors, should you ever happen to meet any of them would rat me out in a heartbeat.
But, what I will brag about is that I did, somehow by the Grace of God and all else that is holy I suppose, manage to raise my three offspring to adulthood and though they are certainly not saints, they have turned out to be three of the nicest people you’d ever hope to meet. I didn’t believe in coddling my kids -if they misbehaved, they knew they would incur my wrath -which usually entailed lots of long lectures, often filled with a lot of those previously mentioned bad words. They knew if were were going someplace and if the weather was crappy, they better sit quietly and let me listen to traffic information via the CB radio I used to have in my car -that way I knew what to expect on the highway and to try to avoid those things and their safety was all intertwined in that. They knew too that because of my work schedule -two jobs for most of my time as a parent -that they had best not ask for things that were unnecessary luxuries, expensive toys/clothes, etc. They could ask for things that were necessary and I would try my level best to get them what I could but there was a line -a fine line that was drawn and they knew not to cross that. They also knew that often while I was working their older sister was in charge of watching over them and they best not cross any lines she had drawn in the sand either! They also understood the majority of the time though why I had those rules, why they were expected to do or not do certain things because they did understand the economics of our home. It was called poverty row -or that’s how my son would describe it to you now if asked but he’d also tell you that he -having had the opportunity to choose to live with me and his sisters (on poverty row) or going to live with his dad and have access to many of the things he could only dream about here -fancy bicycles, 4-wheelers, and the like -when push came to shove, he opted to stay with me because he came to the realization that his dad was merely playing the age old game of “Come live with me and be my love and I will buy you everything!” but that still came with a price and that was understanding his dad often forgot many, many promises too! Anyway, he says that he has never regretted making that choice so maybe I wasn’t quite as “scary” to him as I thought I was then or even that I think I am now, for that matter. He tells his little niece and the 17-year-old stepgranddaughter to be wary of me though because I am not now the same person he grew up with -meaning that I have developed a little bit of a softer edge at times. Not much, but a little anyway. So maybe that’s progress on my part. I dunno. You tell me! I could write a book on some of the things I have done over the years I suppose -but all you’re getting tonight anyway is chapter 1. Stay tuned and who knows, maybe I shock the hell out of everyone and give you more chapters in how to really be a for-real, scary Mommy/Grammie!
.-= Jeni Hill Ertmer´s last blog ..The Good That is There! =-.
Don’t you just love your monkey?! Mine the same way… Most days its blissful being a mother… but there are those days that I can’t help but think… “Why the hell not.. children should be working in fields”
.-= ZNusbaum´s last blog ..Meet Sonny =-.
I am new to your blog and am in the process of reading your entire archives. Hilarious and pure genius. My 3 year old daughter seems to be going through the same thorn ridden path your Lily is going down.
This post reminded me of when I had the “pleasure” of taking a friends little brother to the store with me. He started throwing a fit so I left the cart with all the goods in it, picked him up and walked out of the store….almost. He had been screaming “Your not my mommy, you can’t take me, I want my mommy.” The store security guards stopped me at the door and I had to endure questioning from them about the things he was saying all while he would not admit that he knew me. It was horrific and almost scared me away from having one of my own. He is now about to move into high school and I tease him about it all the time.