Mommy Gone Crazy

80 Comments

Tonight, my children were on my last nerve. Last nerve. I was trying to get some work done, and they were running around like wild, out of control animals, refusing to eat their dinners and flat out ignoring me. After I unsuccessfully called them in to the table for the 37th time, I began losing my temper. When I heard them laughing at my increasing anger, it only made things worse. By the time I finally located them using their hot-pink-berry-from-the-back-yard-stained-hands to finger paint each other and the house, I lost it.

I was far too angry to even grab the camera. When a Mommy Blogger is too pissed off to document a hot pink photo op such as this, you know she means business. Their shirts were off, their bodies stained pink and they all had amused expressions on their faces. All of them, except me. I grabbed my pink children and led them by the ears into the house, hissing at them their future punishments. I wanted to scare them. To shake them up into taking me seriously for once.

As I loudly slammed the screen door behind me, I caught glimpse of a neighbor gawking at me. Gawking at me like I have gawked at spanking in public or people who speak to their children in vicious tones. Gawking at me like I was one of those people who are undeserving and unfit and need to take a deep breath and calm the fuck down. Like that woman who made news a few months ago for dragging her tantrum throwing child from a store. Those people who are so easy to judge. Me.

At least nobody pulled out a video camera today. Because the footage could have made the evening news. And the children? They’re sleeping peacefully now and look like freaking angels. Freaking angels with pink hands.

Comments

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  1. 1

    Mariano says

    I know what those nights are like. And I have just one who’s old enough to really push my buttons. It doesn’t last long, but they seem to get you on the day when you have the most work to do. Can’t wait until my daughter starts acting up.

    But when they’re sleeping like angels, don’t you just want to give them a great big bear hug?

    We try to be perfect parents, but we’re human, after all.

    Just go grab some nutella and call it a night. Tomorrow will be better.
    .-= Mariano´s last blog ..Twitter Precision and Follow Friday =-.

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  2. 3

    3 Stinky Boys and Me says

    My dad is in town visiting us for a few days and he gave that exact look to a lady in the grocery store today. Her little one was crying, crying, crying and my dad something like I hate parents that don’t take care of their children. I told him just because that baby is crying doesn’t make that lady a bad mom. It doesn’t mean she isn’t taking care of her child. He rolled his eyes.

    How many times have I been in that lady’s exact situation at the grocery store and gotten those looks? The thing is: he’s been there too. All parents have. He’s just forgotten.

    I hope I never forget. I hope I never give those looks.
    .-= 3 Stinky Boys and Me´s last blog ..Wake Up! Wake Up! Wake Up! =-.

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    • 4

      Scary Mommy says

      So true. I hope I never turn into that nasty old lady at the grocery store who scowls at exhausted parents. If I do, I totally deserved to be tripped.

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  3. 5

    Kate Coveny Hood says

    I think my neighbors (the ones who don’t know us) think I’m a horrible parent. Whenever I’m outside with the kids, all I do is scream, “Oliver! No dirt!” “George – you have to LISTEN!” “Eleanor – come back here!” What a shrew.
    .-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Make Mine a Double: Part I =-.

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  4. 7

    Amy says

    This was the first time I have seen that video…. and I actually laughed – and snorted – out loud. Anyone who is a parent (and who doesn’t have an army of nanny minions to do her bidding) can relate to that. I had a similar night myself (the dragging inside by the ears, not the dragging around the store on a leash). I’m so glad it’s Fall and the windows are closed so the neighbors can no longer hear the screaming from inside the house. Mine or Theirs. ;)
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Fab Friday: October 2 =-.

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  5. 9

    Shalvika Sood says

    Not crazy just desperate!!!! I call them sleeping-angels,devils-in-motion in such times. And the worst part is that none of those cultivated ‘best practices’ work!!
    Don’t worry yourself about public opinion . I redevelop the hide from my teenages (remember those ‘I-don’t-care-a-dam’ days!) and busy my mind with wondering about the lost virtue of being non-judgmental!! (I even shake my head a bit to show exasperation)

    I do believe that kids have a good sense of people’s emotions and they co-operate very easily when you are not feeling well. However, when its work you’re trying to rationalize about, their eyes dilate, their mind starts wandering and they suddenly become deaf!!! One child is still manageable, but a group!!!! Urgghhh I really do shudder. Still I’d hate to suggest a divide and rule policy (I know parents who will resort to praising one child in the hope the others may be influenced to follow suite, but it’s things like these which can sow the seeds of sibling jealousy) so a small harmless bribe may help in the next outbreak. Where coercion fails, persuasion wins!
    .-= Shalvika Sood´s last blog ..No-nonsense message from a school =-.

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  6. 11

    Bruce Teague says

    We all judge other parents when they do something “absurd” in public. And we all do “absurd” things in public to our kids when they push our buttons the right way. I know I’ve thought “how dare they” to other parents and then done the exact same thing later. Just one of the many joys of parenting.
    .-= Bruce Teague´s last blog ..3 Ways to add Value and Meaning to your Family Time =-.

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    • 12

      Scary Mommy says

      That’s so true. A few years ago, I was so grossed out by a neighborhood parent who let his kids run around topless and pee in the bushes. Now? I’m totally that parent.

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  7. 13

    Sally says

    Oh, boy, I bet NONE of your readers thinks you are crazy (though I would have liked to see your photographic take on the pinkness)! It always amazes me that the little ones simply cannot see when they’ve pushed your buttons too hard – they’re still laughing while you’re ready to physically harm something! I used to threaten ‘em with duct tape, but they knew it was an empty threat – I probably should have carried it out once or twice just to keep it viable. When I had my first baby, my dentist told me to make the kid fear me – I pooh-poohed it at the time (first-time-Mommy mushiness), but I did regret it (sometimes) later!
    Keep your chin up, and remember, it’s only a few years before they will be out, in the night, in your car, doing who-knows-what.

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  8. 15

    Melissa Multitasking Mama says

    We all have those moments! Cut yourself some slack and when the pink hand stained angels wake up, remind them how much you love them.
    .-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- My new nephew =-.

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  9. 16

    jnjmom25 says

    I know what you mean. I’m a screamer to. I don’t like to be my kids are 15 months apart and it is like having twins. Where i live they like to call Welfare on you.

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