Essential Entertainment For New Parents: Eyebrow Pencils – Scary Mommy

Essential Entertainment For New Parents: Eyebrow Pencils

Parents use Instagram to share hilarious photos of their babies with eyebrows

Babies are cute and all, but let’s be honest: they’re not very entertaining. They mostly lie there, drooling and chewing on their own feet. Occasionally, you’ll get an unprompted fart or burp, but sitting around waiting for surprise bodily functions in between feedings is no way to spend the day. That’s probably why so many parents have said “fuck it,” and found a way to entertain themselves by drawing eyebrows directly onto their babies’ hairless faces.

The hashtag #BabiesWithEyebrows is what happens you leave adults home alone with tiny humans and a stash of sharpened eyebrow pencils. It also happens to be one of the funniest things you’ll see on Instagram. Parents are using whatever means necessary to give their babies the furriest, most angular of brows, and then snapping hilarious photos as their babies go about their lives, totally unaware that they actually look like Dustin Hoffman in the movie Hook.

First, there’s this mad scientist.

And also this little bundle of perpetual excitement. If you’ve got any good nursery school gossip, go tell her. She’ll always be thrilled to hear it.

This baby will cut you, and she doesn’t even need to be verbal to be able to say it. All she has to do is give you the brows, and you know she’s saying, “Excuse me? What do you mean, where are my socks? Why don’t you come back here and say that to my momma’s face!”

Over here, we’ve got a young Joe Pesci. Or maybe even the Drunk Uncle from Saturday Night Live. Either way, this kid is already a legend.

This little girl has clearly had enough of being poked and prodded by her relatives. “Try to tickle me one more time, Grandma. I dare you. I will launch myself out of this Rock ‘N Play and make you regret it!”

A photo posted by Lindsey Kettenton (@lizardmcb) on

This little guy is milk drunk and rocking a five o’clock shadow to go with his brows.

A photo posted by Neal Merritt (@nealmerritt) on

Here’s a child who clearly knows her art history. It must be all those Little Einsteins episodes.

A photo posted by @heroes123go on

And this guy? This guy is going to be president someday. Look at his stately mustache.

A photo posted by beth=>beff (@asapferg3) on

The hashtag has existed for a while, but as you can see, it’s still going strong because using your baby as entertainment never gets boring. That’s why dads are participating in the Cheerios Stack Challenge, or one mom went viral after she decided to add crazy make-up to all her son’s photos with a selfie retouching app. A baby is basically an adorable blank canvas for whatever ridiculousness we can dream up, and they’re hilariously oblivious to our antics.

Next time you head to a baby shower, don’t forget to gift the new parents with a couple of sharp eyebrow pencils. They might find it odd, but only until they realize you’ve just provided them with hours and hours of free entertainment.