Dear iPhone,
I have long come to terms with the fact that I have a bit of a potty mouth. I’m not especially proud of it, but it’s a part of who I am. It’s just the way it is. My parents are no longer shocked and appalled by my language. My friends all expect it from me. The babysitters I employ have picked their jaws up off of the floor and recovered. It’s just not a problem. Really.
So, I don’t appreciate you taking it upon yourself to clean up my language. For instance, if I say “Fuck you,” I mean “Fuck you” and not the “Duck you” that you’d prefer I type. For the record, I was saying it in total jest. Not that I owe you an explanation. And what does “What the Dell” even mean? If you’re smart enough to store my music, my address book and the entire world wide web, perhaps you could gain the common sense to replace Hell with Heck. It would still piss me off, but at least it would be sensible.
And, while you’re at it, please learn my freaking name. It’s Jill. J-I-L-L. Signing e-mails “Kill” isn’t really the message I want to send, and it’s pretty contradictory to the Pollyanna you are trying to turn me into.
Can you work with me here? I’d really hate to have to get a Blackberry; the iPhone is so much more bad ass. I mean, bad ash.
Sincerely yours,
Scary Mommy
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Well, I was gonna wait to get my iPhone. I don’t think I should now. I totally need to get it earlier so I can send a text with ‘rectum basters’ in it! My mother would love that. ROFLMAO
uthostage´s last blog ..The Keys Birthday Bash
Twitter: uthostage
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I know. My co-blogger complains about it all the time. The iphone also doesn’t understand IKEA! WTF??? But oh, it does seem to understand wtf. . that’s good.
x,
Paula
http://www.adhocmom.com
adhocmom´s last blog ..Is it Socially Acceptable to Wear Maternity Jeans When Your Daughter is Nearly Two Years Old?
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aaaah hahaha! I actually got one of those e-mails signed Kill from you :-D
Stupid proper iPhone.
Elisa´s last blog ..Stella McCartney for Adidas, Spring 2010
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Loojs lije you got dat dingers…
(Translation: Looks like you got fat fingers)
As I look at the keyboard it appears that these two spelling transpositions are right next to each other. F becomes D and J becomes K. I am not implying that you have extra large fingers, or are gravitationally challenged, but it may just be that the keyboard is not picking up these particular letters correctly.
(Kust my two cents).
Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)´s last blog ..F2: Vegitarian Chili
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Don’t hurry to get a Blackberry. I’ve got one and it does the same thing. Drives me insane.
Lolli´s last blog ..Give Me Your Best Shot – Daughter in Law?
Twitter: 1momof5
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If you type it enough it will learn it. My iPhone knows “fucktard”.
Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Fight for Air
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Danny Reply:
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:10 pm
So, I googled something along the lines of “Why won’t my iphone learn the word hell?” or something like that and I came upon this. Great post and I generally feel your pain.
My real response is to the user who said the iPhone will eventually learn a certain word. This is generally true. If you ‘x’ out a suggestion enough, iPhone will generally learn what you are trying to say (My iPhone has even learned when I’m trying to spell my friends’ uncommon last names), but at least one word the iPhone absolutely will learn is hell. This is maddening. They should allow users to make ‘dictionary rules’ where you can rank words you’d generally like to have come up first. (Like, Jill could rank “Jill” ahead of “Kill” or “fuck” ahead of “duck”).
Bleh, it looks like my ultimate goal to add hell is defeated. I would say heck, but I’m sure my phone would just change it to neck =P
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Danny Reply:
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Bleh for typos… I meant the iPhone will NOT learn the word hell.. obviously.
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Don’t switch… Just deal with it I’m sure the Blackberry is just as bad… I have one, I don’t cuss so I’m not sure, but I have iPhone envy and so I say again… just “sincerely kill” people and count your blessed iPhone applications that I so desperately wish I had… lol :)
Shelle-BlokThoughts´s last blog ..My daughter and Grape Medicine…
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Ah ha ha haaa…too funny.
Damn it CommentLuv, I know I’ve been slacking on my blogging but I actually DO have a new post today. *sheesh*
Carrie´s last blog ..Sleep, baby, sleep
Twitter: Miss_Scarlett99
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Love this Kill… I mean Jill! My blackberry is currently translating into British English, except I am not British. Not sure how that happened.
Cybil´s last blog ..Is God a boy or a girl?
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LMAO…that is really funny about the iPhone, though I’d reconsider the Blackberry because I wrote a good post on dating last week and saved it as an email draft. Turned off my Blackberry and the draft disappeared.
Seriously, what the Duck?! :)
NYC Girl´s last blog ..January Accountability
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Haha, “Kill”! Sometimes I love my ipod touch and sometimes the spell check drives me insane!! What the duck!? ;)
Twitter: springraine
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sometimes i wonder about our so called smart technology. everytime i go to write the word FOR, it writes EMS. every. duckking time.
scrappysue´s last blog ..spammers you suck
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my iPhone seems to think that when I type hell I actually mean he’ll – which I pretty much never do. Apparently I type hell a lot and it wants to modulate my swearing for me. I am really glad to find that my iPhone isn’t alone in this prudish behaviour!
pixielation´s last blog ..Going cold turkey. Or cold firefox.
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Oh the many joys of spell check. It is even more fun when a 9 year old is using it.
Jack´s last blog ..A Restaurant Surprise
Twitter: thejackb
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LOL and I gotta say that my blackberry lets me say fuck and ass w/o correcting me all the time!
Twitter: therealbecks
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This is just plain funny. I get so frustrated with my iphone, but it’s usually my error when there is a misspelling. Nice post, Kill!
LZ @ My Messy Paradise´s last blog ..Menage a Monday: Featuring Lizz, from One Nerve Left
Twitter: mymessyparadise
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LMAO this is my biggest problem with mine too! I told everyone on Facebook that I almost got hit when I was putting my groceries in my CAT. No one cared I almost died they just thought it was funny that I put them in my CAT.
Mom Taxi Julie´s last blog ..Leap Year
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Too funny. Spellchecks are stupid sometimes. I still can’t believe tweetdeck’s spellcheck can’t recognize tweetdeck.
Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Naturally, He’s a Whiz Kid
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couldn’t have said it better myself….
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Here, here! I know just what you mean. I’ve sent many a text with the wrong words! This was my first visit to your blog. Keep up the good work!
Judy´s last blog ..10 Things to Work on this Year
Twitter: cubs2win
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I’m just shocked that they’d offer up “Dell” as a substitute. Seems to me they’d offer up something Apple’s not so, you know, in competition with. At least something more along the lines of “What the Google” just to suck up to their frenemy.
patois´s last blog ..How Very Un-Christian of You
Twitter: patois42
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