01 · 28 · 2010

iPhone spell check: What the duck?

Dear iPhone,

I have long come to terms with the fact that I have a bit of a potty mouth. I’m not especially proud of it, but it’s a part of who I am. It’s just the way it is. My parents are no longer shocked and appalled by my language. My friends all expect it from me. The babysitters I employ have picked their jaws up off of the floor and recovered. It’s just not a problem. Really.

So, I don’t appreciate you taking it upon yourself to clean up my language. For instance, if I say “Fuck you,” I mean “Fuck you” and not the “Duck you” that you’d prefer I type. For the record, I was saying it in total jest. Not that I owe you an explanation. And what does “What the Dell” even mean? If you’re smart enough to store my music, my address book and the entire world wide web,  perhaps you could gain the common sense to replace Hell with Heck. It would still piss me off, but at least it would be sensible.

And, while you’re at it, please learn my freaking name. It’s Jill. J-I-L-L. Signing e-mails “Kill” isn’t really the message I want to send, and it’s pretty contradictory to the Pollyanna you are trying to turn me into.

Can you work with me here? I’d really hate to have to get a Blackberry; the iPhone is so much more bad ass. I mean, bad ash.

Sincerely yours,

Scary Mommy

{ 82 comments }

1 Bethany January 30, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Haha, “Kill”! Sometimes I love my ipod touch and sometimes the spell check drives me insane!! What the duck!? ;)

2 scrappysue January 30, 2010 at 3:33 pm

sometimes i wonder about our so called smart technology. everytime i go to write the word FOR, it writes EMS. every. duckking time.
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..spammers you suck =-.

3 pixielation January 30, 2010 at 6:11 pm

my iPhone seems to think that when I type hell I actually mean he’ll – which I pretty much never do. Apparently I type hell a lot and it wants to modulate my swearing for me. I am really glad to find that my iPhone isn’t alone in this prudish behaviour!
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..Going cold turkey. Or cold firefox. =-.

4 Jack January 31, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Oh the many joys of spell check. It is even more fun when a 9 year old is using it.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..A Restaurant Surprise =-.

5 Becky @TheRealBecks February 1, 2010 at 11:02 am

LOL and I gotta say that my blackberry lets me say fuck and ass w/o correcting me all the time!

6 LZ @ My Messy Paradise February 1, 2010 at 1:06 pm

This is just plain funny. I get so frustrated with my iphone, but it’s usually my error when there is a misspelling. Nice post, Kill!
.-= LZ @ My Messy Paradise´s last blog ..Menage a Monday: Featuring Lizz, from One Nerve Left =-.

7 Mom Taxi Julie February 1, 2010 at 4:14 pm

LMAO this is my biggest problem with mine too! I told everyone on Facebook that I almost got hit when I was putting my groceries in my CAT. No one cared I almost died they just thought it was funny that I put them in my CAT.
.-= Mom Taxi Julie´s last blog ..Leap Year =-.

8 Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father) February 2, 2010 at 12:40 am

Too funny. Spellchecks are stupid sometimes. I still can’t believe tweetdeck’s spellcheck can’t recognize tweetdeck.
.-= Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..Naturally, He’s a Whiz Kid =-.

9 Danielle February 2, 2010 at 8:00 am

couldn’t have said it better myself….

10 Judy February 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Here, here! I know just what you mean. I’ve sent many a text with the wrong words! This was my first visit to your blog. Keep up the good work!
.-= Judy´s last blog ..10 Things to Work on this Year =-.

11 patois February 5, 2010 at 10:51 pm

I’m just shocked that they’d offer up “Dell” as a substitute. Seems to me they’d offer up something Apple’s not so, you know, in competition with. At least something more along the lines of “What the Google” just to suck up to their frenemy.
.-= patois´s last blog ..How Very Un-Christian of You =-.

12 Just Jen April 22, 2010 at 4:28 pm

I had to stop signing emails “Regards, Jen” once my underwritter called me and asked why I called her a Retard. My iPhone does the same thing, but the worst part of the iPhone is the “20% Remaining” sign. *SIGH*

13 Paul October 5, 2010 at 5:03 pm

There’s actually a workaround for this.

You can’t edit the word list directly, but if you create a new contact with the exact spelling of the word you want to use, it’ll work. The reason is that the spellcheck uses the word list AND the names in the contact list.

Note that when you go to create a contact you should de-capitalize the first letter (default when entering a new contact is to capitalize that letter) so it’ll come out right when you’re emailing or texting someone.

So now my contact list looks something like this:

Aaron Able
Bob Bowman
fuck
Erica Excellent
shit
Tommy Terrible

and so forth. Kind of funny to have contacts with one-word names, but what the fuck, it works for Madonna.

14 Chris October 5, 2010 at 6:38 pm

I FIGURED IT OUT! Well, my friend did:

To teach your iPhone new words, simply open up Safari on your iPhone, and type the new word into the google search field. You might have to do it a few times.

Another way is to add a secondary language to your keyboard settings, then you can ad words to your new custom dictionary setting that appears under General>Keyboard

Enjoy!

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