So, this fish thing is not going well.
Although the gum-popping PetSmart employee assured me that three beta fish would coexist peacefully in a half gallon tank, as long as they were female, it seems she was wrong. Or, perhaps, I just got nasty fish. Whatever the cause, our once vibrant and whole fishy friends are now dull, deformed messes. They have literally eaten the fins off of each other. It is repulsive.
Now, I know the right thing, the humane thing to do would be to separate them and have three bowls, each holding the now grotesque creatures. But, really, I don’t know if I can stomach it. I want to puke every time I look at them and can’t fathom reaching in there and having to look at the three of them for much longer. And I don’t think the kids would be permanently scarred if they were to just disappear.
I need help, folks. What would you do?
An update: The fish are now in fishy heaven. I called the pet store and they told me to flush them, that they would “dispose” of them anyway. They gave me a goldfish but warned that they don’t thrive in fishbowls. I bought some plant thing that is supposed to help. I just saw him eat a piece of shit, so I don’t have a great feeling about all of this.
Thank you all for your input. I just hope I don’t come back as a fish in my next life.
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Time for a ride down the porcelain highway.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..No more gender confusion folks, we have ponytail….. =-.
Fish Sticks.
.-= Futureblackmail´s last blog ..2ND DEGREE BURN =-.
fish are kinda a drag aren’t they I saw these cool frogs at brookstone that you only have to clean their tank 2x a year
.-= Kristen´s last blog ..Wordless/Wordful Wednesday =-.
I shoulda gone with the frogs.
Oh yee! I have no idea about fish but I’ll be keeping this in mind when we buy Erin a fish. Do fins grow back?
.-= Bec´s last blog ..Life with a turdler – Part 2 =-.
No, they don’t. Blech.
The right thing to do would be to separate them. But it’s your decision. As a general rule, you should never put beta’s together. Beta’s also go by another name…Siamese Fighting Fish…Hmmm.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Away From Home =-.
The fish woman swore that females would be ok together. They pecked at the beginning, but I read that they work things out quickly and to just let them be. Next thing I knew, they were cannibals.
I’d suck it up, scoop those suckers into a baggie (with water) and take them right back to where they came from and insist on my money back. Then I’d get something hardy like goldfish. Hard to kill off goldfish. Just sayin’.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..I love three girls named Stephanie… =-.
Fish swin in water, right? Toilets have water, right? Set them Free! FREE I tell you.
Then buy some goldfish.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Statue porn? =-.
How do you tell a male fish from a female fish? In any case, at the rate they’re going, they’re probably not going to last much longer. If it were me, I’d separate them, because flushing them down the tank when they’re still alive just mean.
I agree with the above. Should have went with good ol’ 25 cent goldfish. That’s what we have.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Effects of the Fair =-.
I’d say replace them and put them in sep tanks. I think Miss PetSmart USA didn’t give you three females. I had this problem once years ago and they mauled each other. Not.Pretty. ACK.
If the fins don’t grow back, it’s up to you to sep them now and see what happens?
.-= IfTheSassFits´s last blog ..One Down and Four to Go!! =-.
Wow, sounds like you probably should do 3 bowls (maybe around the house?) . But, if you decide to keep them in one bowl…you could name the fishbowl “Middle School” or “Mean Girls” cause it totally sounds like a click (clique?) gone wrong!!!! ;)
Good luck! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…you could just let the kids behold them….
.-= ViolinMama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – My Daughters’ Hands =-.
Seperate them or return them. Don’t flush them. That’s just mean.
Yeah-don’t ever put beta’s together. But, I see you know that now. ;)
L
That’s really disturbing… Our fish had the manners to just swim under a rock and die. No cannibalism. I think the most humane thing to do may just be to flush them.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Polarn O. Pyret: A Giveaway and Some Boring Home Movies of My Kids =-.
Are we sure we didn’t get the piranha/goldfish???
.-= Val´s last blog ..Pencil bag and fanny pack DONE! =-.
–>In a word, F L U S H.
I ‘ve always been told you can only have one at a time.
http://www.WebSavyMom.com
.-= WebSavyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday – Join the Party! =-.
I would really consider taking them in to PetSmart and letting THEM deal with it. First of all, they told you that 3 females would co-exist just fine. Obviously, from your picture, they were wrong – very wrong.
Make this their problem.
.-= Stacie´s last blog ..It is still working =-.
I’ve got cats.. and I’m just around the corner.. we’ll call it take out.
Oh, BTW.. if that is a pic of the fish.. that isn’t a female!
.-= DiPaola Momma´s last blog ..Tuesday Tips & Titillation (on Whatever Wednesday) =-.
Just let them kill each other, the newness will wear off soon anyways and your kids will be bored with them. No need to keep them around if in another week or two nobody cares if they’re gone.
.-= familycalamity´s last blog ..10 Things I Learned In The First Year of Parenting =-.
Flush them. The kids will get over it. Or flush 2 out of the 3 and then the problem will be solved. Maybe. ;o)
Sweet lord, that is not normal.
You must brain bleach everyone in the house.
Does Dr. Kevorkian make fish house calls?
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..The Husbandrinka-Nicki Relationship =-.
We have had six or seven fish “go to the fish doctor to get their scales re-painted” and the last two “ran away”.
Gag – were the kids watching when the fin-eating took place?
.-= deej´s last blog ..Wow, that sounds . . . um. . . neato? =-.
absolutely back to petsmart! make them pay YOU to take home a goldfish. ONE goldfish. that’s it. don’t be persuaded to do more. stand strong.
The gum-popping employee was wrong. Beta’s should NEVER be in the same tank together. They are naturally aggressive fish. How they even breed these suckers is beyond me. But, I’d defiantly separate them!
I’d take them back to the store too. If it were any other animal, you’d bring it back.
If they have an issue with it, you can tell them it was either return them to the store or return them to the septic system. :)
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday =-.
I agree back to the store! Then, if you decide to try Beta again, I can give you some very simple DIY instructions to make a partition for your tank so they can all be in the same one. They are hard to resist since freshwater fish are not usually that colorful.
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..Collections =-.
Poor fishies! I don’t think I could flush them alive. I’d either separate them and see what happens or return them to the store. That wasn’t supposed to happen!
.-= Melanie´s last blog ..Baking! =-.
Oh sad! I had fish that were smelly and my parents told me they went to heaven. I now know they dumped the tank in the middle of the night down the toilet and refilled the water.
.-= Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..My Ex-Husband, Ryan, Is Still Stalking Me =-.
Well, the pet store employee was right and wrong… female Beta’s CAN co-exist peacefully… but that fish you have a picture of is a male. So that’s part of your problem…
This is why I never have fish… I just can’t deal. They always die on me, and then I get really upset and cry and feel incredibly guilty. Or they live, and become a pain in the ass (I can never remember weather I fed them, or how often you’re supposed to feed them) and I end up wishing they would die, and then feeling really guilty and terrible.
Since you don’t want to deal with seperating them I would take the whole kit n’ kaboodle back to the store and make them deal with it. Maybe exchange them for goldfish or some other type that’s easier. (Quick tip – see how they have them “stored” at the pet shop. Some fish are in bigger tanks with dozens of fish, and some – like the betas – are kept individually – that’ll be your biggest hint.)
.-= Anne´s last blog ..New Giveaway! =-.
I had a beta fish too… they aren’t as pretty as they look in pictures.
Its a tough call– I dont know what you should do? Maybe replace the fish with another fish?
Step 1 – Either flush the fish or take ‘em back and get replacements. That is *not* a female. The difference between males and females is that the males are more colorful and flashy. Usually all they sell are the males because they’re the prettier of the two sexes.
Step 2 – Contact MIB and get the neuro flashy thingie to erase the kids’ memories. I honestly don’t think they’ll be heartbroken if the fish are gone or need to be replaced. In my opinion? The humane thing to do would be to flush the fish, because that’s all Pet Smart will do. They can’t be resold because of the damage and lost fins, and their quality of life is crap without their fins.
Also? We’ve never had luck with goldfish. We’ve had four betta fish and they’ve been the best we had. The first two we had to leave behind in WA after we were PCSed down here to NV. The two we have now are amazingly hearty – and BreMonster has grabbed one right out of the bowl and threw it on the ground when it wouldn’t stop wiggling, but he’s still alive. Good luck!
.-= LinLori´s last blog ..(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday =-.
LOL, I think the kids will be fine.
I like your plan– I just really wanted permission to flush them.
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..It seems I am not a fish person, either =-.
Hahahaha! Yeah, that PetSmart employee was obviously a little lacking in the smarts department. And you’ve totally got backup when it comes to flushing them – don’t think it’ll hurt your karma at all, lol!
.-= LinLori´s last blog ..(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday =-.
that is really kind of gross.
.-= Jen, buried with children´s last blog ..The Joy of Photos Stories Giveaway =-.
I vote with the take them back and get goldfish crowd. Goldfish are nice. And mine was smart. It would tap on the glass when it was hungry and follow you around the kitchen, like swim so it could watch you. It was really weird.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Playing in the rain, Wordless Wednesday =-.
Wow, really?? I had no idea they did that. I’m thinking we’ll give a goldfish a shot. Sigh.
I’m not sure they all do. Apparently ours was weird. They are supposed to be dumb and have like a two second memory or something, but ours really like to eat and it knew that we gave it food. He was one of those really fluffy (can a gf be fluffy) pretty orange and white ones. And he got really big before he finally kicked the bucket (one of the happiest days of my mommy life).
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Playing in the rain, Wordless Wednesday =-.
Take them back to the pet store and show that gum popping kid what happened and see if they will give you ONE new fish.
That guinea pig is looking pretty good, huh?
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Cooking in My Kitchen… =-.
I think I’ve learned that 1 dog is about all I can handle. I prefer my fish on a plate with lemon and butter.
Betas in general are just nasty customers, they ALWAYS attacked the other fish I had in with them no matter what kind they were….
I’d take them back to the store and demand a refund or trade…
Depending on what kinda set up you have, is it just bowls or do you actually have a tank with a bubble stream?, tetras are cool and pretty hearty (they’re the ones that have kinda glowey blue stripes)
Nope– just one bowl. Glad that was all I invested!
Oh my God! I cannot believe that they sold you those fish and told you to put them in the same thing! I would take them back, demand a refund and get a new fish for your bowl. You could get one beta, or get a couple of a different kind like goldfish or something. The pet store should take responsibility for their error and causing this kind of trauma to your family. I know some people might think that is too strong a word, but seriously? THEY ATE EACH OTHER! And if they stay in there together, they will kill each other.
.-= Rachael´s last blog ..Behind the Library =-.
Geez, Louise! I agree with Rachael (above). I’m shocked they told you to put Beta fish together. I’m so sorry that your effort to get your kids a pet has backfired. Just goes to show that “no good deed goes unpunished!”
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Mom, What is flirting? =-.
What Anne up there said – the employee was RIGHT in telling you females can coexist in the same tank, but she did NOT sell you female betas. Males have the pretty fins and are what we think of when we think of beta fish. The females actually look pretty plain and you wouldn’t know it was a beta unless you either knew about betas or someone told you. That right there in the photo you posted is definitely a male. I’d take them back for sure and get plain old feeder goldfish. Those are the best for kids because if they die you can replace them for under a quarter! HA!
.-= Miss M!´s last blog ..Three Two =-.
Miss M is right – those are definitely male Betas. You need to separate them asap or they will eventually kill each other.
.-= Grizzly Kitteh´s last blog ..did someone say =-.
I added you to my favorites awhile ago, but never commented. I love reading, though! =]
The petstore lady was definitely wrong. Betas can’t be housed together no matter what. Flush them. That’s what I’d do. They’re probably in pain and gimpy now anyways.
They are not going to make peace in the same bowl, so you have a few choices:
1. Return them and demand cute little guppies or goldfish or other “communal” fish (fish that don’t tear each other up);
2. Separate them. The nice thing about betas is they need very little space – you probably have vases around that would do;
3. Bye, bye, burial at sea.
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Bundles of Love =-.
I didn’t read all the comments, so this might have been said already, but aren’t their screens you can get to separate the fish and keep them in the tank? I had a room mate who had a tank and one of the fish was particularly nasty, so she got this screen to keep him on one side of the tank and the other fish on the opposite side, so the would be safe from his vicious biting.
.-= Dolli-Mama´s last blog ..Ode to Packing =-.
There are, but it’s too late. The fish have been flushed to rest. That was horrible. I’m going to get a single goldfish, hopefully he’ll have better luck. Blech!
I have too good of luck with freaking fish. They WON’T die!!! And I hate nothing more than cleaning a fish bowl or having to dig a squirming fish out of the disposal after he accidentally slips down there.
No fish here for awhile.
And don’t do gerbils or hamsters. Been there, done that. Nasty.
.-= courtney´s last blog ..Oh, Baby I think I love ya, from head to toe…. =-.
Oh gosh, can’t help you out here! Everytime I ever had a fish, I would accidentally kill it! As a child, I fed it toothpaste, so it died. As an older person, I was too scared to change to water, so it died. So yeah, I’m not a pet person at all. Good luck! And eww.
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..Mommy wars…seriously? =-.
Had dead fish thing recently
(http://www.pajamasandcoffee.com/?p=294)
and having kids draw like a memorial picture (like do it now while they’re alive, so much less morbid) seemed to help.
Also, goldfish are great on the grill with mango salsa. ;)
.-= marymac´s last blog ..Mommychugging =-.
Time to flush them…
If you’re not into all that “fish eating fish” action (’cause it doesn’t sound cute) I’d find somewhere to put them where you can’t watch. Either back to the store or down the flusher. Or even a neighborly visit to DiPaola Mom – she’s wise, very wise.
Then again, what are your kids going to want as a replacement? Maybe a calm, friendly shark? I hear wolves are fairly quiet. Or bats. They’re only bothersome at night. Don’t go for anything freaky… those chia pets are just weird.
.-= Ryan Ashley Scott´s last blog ..The Bad Mommy Weekly: issue 4: Just 10 minutes =-.
Gross!! I say flush ‘em. Or take them back to the store.
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Melancholy =-.
I told you to give them separate bedrooms, although I thought it was so they could bowl hop. I didn’t realize it was because they grind their teeth (ON EACH OTHER) at night.
.-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..I Have This Pain on My Right Side =-.
I don’t know who I feel sorry for more…you or the fish! Some expert your sales girl was…
I hope whatever choice you make works for you!
.-= Chelle´s last blog ..A Made Up Post =-.
Uhm… flush them. And buy 3 new ones, living in separate bowls. I wonder… how sure was that teenage employee that they were females??? And how freaking hard must it be to tell?
.-= Kay´s last blog ..My Sister, My Friend… =-.
That is one sorry looking fish. We have a cancer fish. Never thought to do a post on that. I should sometime. It will make you feel much better about finless fish.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Yee-haw! =-.
oh momma the right thing to do is seperate them or bring them back to the store. please don’t flush them :-(
can we get a neighbor to scoop them out for you, so you don’t have too?
.-= dawn´s last blog ..pineapple-bacon crackers =-.
I would definitely bring the fish, the tank and all the stuff back to the store. Complain about what you were told and get a refund or 1 replacement beta. Leave the dying fish with them whatever the outcome.
.-= passions and soapboxes´s last blog ..Me And Mother Theresa…. =-.
Well now that’s a bummer…glad they have moved on…and you have replacements. Can’t believe the moron sold you males! I won a goldfish once from the fair that lived forever it seems. Good luck with that! We can’t do fish other than the outside boogers because I am pretty convinced between the kids and the cats and the dogs the thing wouldn’t last 23 minutes. Hopefully this one won’t have the same fate!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..That’s a bummer… =-.
They told me that goldfish don’t do well in bowls, but I’ve heard of plenty who thrive!
Your fish looks so funny. Every pet Kaish has ever had has died. Well, except for the blind cat we had that hissed at us for a full 6 months. That cat had to be returned. He cried the whole way to the center. We are pet killers around here. Sad, but true!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Edge =-.
I don’t think the new goldfish is going to do too well either. Between the kids and dog (and husband) my plate feels to full already!
Beta are called fighting fish for a reason. That employee should have known better. Definitely take it back and get either a refund or new fish, of another breed.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Swing Bean =-.
I had a feeling there would be another post about the fish…we had one and only one for this exact reason. I think that’s why they are called “fighting fish” right? LOL
I would get your $ back and try to stick it out with the goldfish, but I don’t think those little guys last very long. :(
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..Are You In? =-.
in my world, I would come home with the fish and immediately flush it down the toilet as that is where it would end up within two days of its arrival anyway
.-= jessica´s last blog ..Ahem, (cough, cough), may I have your attention please? =-.
I might be setting myself up to be the fish lady, but bettas need small tanks by themselves–it’s how they are in the wild. And I liked ours becaue I could get away with cleaning the tank every two weeks instead of every couple of days like you need with a goldfish. Goldfish quake when we come near at the pet store. We have mutual dislike.
.-= Lori Z.´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Finally, No Restraints Required! =-.
We bought our kids that same start up kit that you have in the picture above and we were told to absolutley only have one beta regardless of gender at one time. And to my amazement we have had Mr. Blue since Feb. 17, 2009 and he is alive and well and happy. I would definitly make them give you money back or one free beta!!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Many More Random Thoughts and Pictures =-.
yeah – fish don’t last long aroung here either, take your kids to maccers, they’ll be over it by mornin’…
.-= scrappysue´s last blog .. =-.
Ooooh, the fish thing. I can’t believe the employee told you it was alright to put them together in the same bowl. Geez. Our first beta lived for about 1 1/2 years. The kids thought Eddie was cool. One day Eddie was nowhere to be found. Seems he sunk to the bottom when he died. I didn’t tell the kids right away because I thought they would freak. One of the kids noticed he was at the bottom of the bowl, said “Mom, Eddie’s dead. Hey, can we get another one?”
I think I was more upset than they were.
.-= Teri´s last blog .. =-.
Yeah, I was worried about the kids and they really didn’t seem phased. It helps that we live on a pond and I said I set them free. ;)
Can’t you just go visit someone’s else’s pet?! Less work for you too!!! Good luck, I hope the Gold Fish works out. We did better with a dog.
Did you ever see the Cosby show episode where Rudy’s fish died? Absolutely hysterical!!!
I didn’t, but now I want to!!!
I think you should get GUPPIES. I had those as a kid and they breed which is a really fun process to watch ( live birth not eggs) and they are beautiful and low maintenance. Also you could look on craigslist for an old aquarium if you have room for one.
.-= LG´s last blog ..Still Tickin’ =-.
That’s a really good idea- I may do that as soon as this goldfish kicks the bucket!
Beta Fish = Death
I use them to teach my kids about death. It’s a time honored tradition in our house. Turn those lemons into lemonade…
.-= Out-Numbered´s last blog ..Arguments With A-Holes – Part IV =-.
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