Police Set Up Camera To Find Mountain Lion And WTF Is Going On In This Park?

Police Set Up Camera To Find Mountain Lion And WTF Is Going On In This Park?

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Police department camera captures odd images in hunt for mountain lion

If we knew the police were looking for a mountain lion in our local park, most of us would stay the hell out of said park until we were at least 85% sure we wouldn’t get eaten. Others of us, however, would visit the park in the middle of the night dressed like a gorilla. Tomato, tomata, right?

Wildlife concerns: The Gardner Police Department was contacted recently about concern over the possibility of a mountain…

Posted by Gardner Police Department on Monday, November 28, 2016

Police in Gardner, Kansas set up two cameras in local Celebration Park after receiving multiple reports of a mountain lion in the area. Last week they posted some of the images they got from those cameras on their Facebook page, and people went nuts. Folks across the country shared the Facebook post, with comments like, “This is hilarious,” “This is so fun,” and “What the fuck  is going on in this park at night?”

Let’s examine these pictures in the order in which they were posted by the police, shall we?

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Ok. Seems to be some sort of wolf. Not the first thing I want to see at night, but nothing too scary.

 

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Well, hello there, something too scary! We were looking for a long-haired pig-man, and there you are.

 

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Shhh. It’s a dude in a ghillie suit, carefully stalking his prey. Perhaps he feasts on mountain lion.

 

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Ooooooookay. Now we’re blurring the line between “things I can accept” and “old lady with a walker and a machete in the park at night.” At least she’s got her purse strapped to the front of her walker to deter thieves. And her machete. And just being an old woman with a walker roaming the park at night.

 

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Alcoholic Santa? Check.

 

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Aw, it’s just a wee little skunk! Look at him sniffing around, looking for food or whatever is skunks do with their time. Nothing wrong with that.

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But then we have this. A man in a gas mask holding a bag. It looks like he may be collecting samples of some kind. I’m going to assume he’s on the trail of the long-haired pig-man we saw earlier.

 

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Raccoon! Hey, did you know that at the house I used to live in, the neighborhood raccoons used my crawl space as a “latrine,” as the wildlife guy called it? Fun stories.

 

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Pregnant werewolf. *Yawn.*

 

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I do not, in any shape, form, color, or smell, care for the way this thing is looking at me.

 

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now there’s two. Let me tell you something — if I was walking in the park at 2am because I’m an insomniac or a serial killer or whatever, and I ran into these two, I would for sure shit myself forever.

As of today, there has been no further word from the Gardner police about either these photos or their mountain lion. Stay weird, Kansas!

H/T Buzzfeed

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