Just when you think the Internet couldn’t get any weirder
The Internet is filled with a lot of wild and wonderful things. A lot of ridiculous shit too, of course, and sometimes we just need to get away from it all. While a secluded island in the tropics might be our preferred method of escape, let’s face it, that just isn’t in the cards for many of us. We need a way to hide from the constant binging of our phones and humblebrags on social media without leaving the comfort of our home.
Well, behold: the KFC Internet Escape Pod. Because sometimes it takes ridiculous shit on the Internet to save us from the rest of the ridiculous shit on the Internet.
Escape from Cyber Monday with our one-of-a-kind Internet Escape Pod. Let Colonel Sanders and his protective dome help take you back to a simpler, internet-free time. https://t.co/3oIcv6NDtY pic.twitter.com/6sYqmMv7TZ
— KFC (@kfc) November 16, 2017
According to KFC’s website, the dome is “like a magic force field designed to disrupt the internet coming to and from your devices.” Because apparently turning our phones and computers off isn’t enough.
“We were going to sell this for the ridiculously high price of $96,485.34, but in the spirit of Cyber Monday it can be yours for $10,000,” the website says. “So this Cyber Monday (or really anytime you want; I mean you bought it, so it’s up to you), let Colonel Sanders’ protective embrace take you back to a simpler time.”
We have questions. So. Many. Questions.
Like, is this thing for real, or is Colonel Sanders trolling us all? If it is real, does it only stop the Internet, or does its force field block out incessant toddler whining too? Does the pod come with buckets of chicken, or do we need to sneak out for food breaks? And perhaps most importantly, with the holidays on the horizon, does it protect us from meddlesome in-laws and judgy extended family members?
Let’s pause here for a minute to marvel at the absurdity of KFC selling something other than a bucket of drumsticks. Not only are they selling a $10,000 tent, but the company’s online store also sells pillows, socks, and jewelry. There’s even a KFC’s clothing line. Because nothing says indigestion like a pair of socks with drumsticks on them or a necklace that says “fingerlickingood.”
Seriously, what’s even happening here? Is anyone else delightfully confused?
The company acknowledges that “a special person with a gizmo” has to test the Internet-blocking cage before they can claim “total and utter signal impenetrability.”
So if you’ve got an extra $10,000 lying around – and a gizmo, of course — check out the KFC website to grab your Internet Escape Pod. But hurry, the company says “this chicken goodness is on close out and won’t be replenished when sold out.”