When I was around 7, something terrible happened to a close family friend. My mother sent my sister and I out with my older cousin so she could stay by the phone. My cousin took us to all our favorite places in the neighborhood, but I refused to play. I just cried uncontrollably and repeated, “He’s dead. He’s dead.” My cousin finally couldn’t deal with me anymore and dragged us back home — to find out our friend had, indeed, passed away while we were gone. Now I wasn’t some 7-year-old psychic, but talk about freaky.
Whether clowns make you think of the circus or It, I think we can all agree that kids are really freaking creepy sometimes. They predict death (accurately or not), see ghosts, and do all sorts of weird things that send shivers up our spine or make us giggle. Or maybe both.
When my oldest son was 3 years old, he drew my husband a picture. “That’s the spider that crawls in your mouth when you’re asleep,” he told my husband. Umm…what?!
Another mom, Rita, told me she was standing in the kitchen when, from behind, her 6-year-old stepdaughter said, “When I snap, you’ll be the first to go.” Turns out it was a saying on her mom’s coffee mug and she didn’t know what it meant, but still…talk about goosebumps.
On “Parents of Reddit, What’s the Creepiest Thing Your Child’s Ever Said to You?”, perpetual_nom said, “All my childhood games would end in a mass murder of all but one of the toys.” Talk about creepy. And no, sweet child, you are not getting one of those creepy talking dolls for Christmas this year.
Sometimes kids seem to know things they would have no way of knowing. When I was 13, after I said goodbye to my grandmother, a voice in my head said, Get back up and kiss her again because this is the last time you’ll ever see her. So I did. My grandma had a heart attack and died shortly thereafter.
When my oldest son found out he would soon have a sibling, he was convinced he’d have a brother born on Halloween. We tried to gently, then forcefully, dissuade him from his firm belief, saying that the baby was due “around Halloween” but wouldn’t necessarily be born on the day itself. Want to know when the baby was born? You guessed it — Halloween. Because, of course, every spine-chilling story happens on Halloween.
Similarly, another mom, Wendy, said her 4-year-old looked at her on the morning of the election and said, “I’m sorry, Mommy, but Hillary isn’t going to win. Trump is.” Gut punch.
Then there are the kids who, well, see things. I saw a door shut by itself, with no wind or external force, when I was about 12, and it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed. On Reddit, QuagmirePD said his daughter saw a “man with [a] snake neck” in their closet. Darinjfic reports that his co-worker’s daughter was scared of the pipes in the house, but not nearly as much “the man who crawls on the floor and stands by [her] bed.”
Maybe our kids should be the ones checking for monsters before bed because this shit is creepy AF.
My friend Samantha says that when she was a kid, the car radio suddenly cut out and started making a crazy, loud static noise. Her mom chalked it up to weird radio waves, but her 4- year-old sister was convinced it was “Rachel” turning off the music. When asked who Rachel was, the little sister said it was “a girl like me, she’s right there” — a girl no one else could see. Downright chilling.
Then there are the really creepy kids. I’m too scared to even type these stories.
But RatedRx probably wins the prize for creepiness with a story about a time when she was working as a waitress. A little girl was stabbing her sandwich with a plastic fork over and over, muttering, “Die die die die die.” Her mom had gone to the bathroom, so the waitress approached and asked the preschool-age kid what she was doing. She said, poker-faced, “I like to kill things, but Mom says I shouldn’t. So I picked the ham because it can’t scream.”
Basically, kids are creepy. They do weird shit, like pretend to kill each other and spurt imaginary blood. They see paranormal shit (or think they see paranormal shit). They predict deaths and birthdays. They spout details about past lives or dead bodies.
Yes, kids are weird and creepy. That terrifying clown from the movie It doesn’t even come close.