Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I am such a blonde. I always have been, but it seems to be getting worse the older I get and the more children I birth. It’s really quite a marvel that I have to highlight my hair to maintain the sunny shade, as my DNA seems to be dripping with platinum ditziness. (It’s charming. Shut up.)
Anyhow, I took Ben to the pediatrician today for his cough. The doctor and I were making small talk (which I really suck at) and he asked what we were doing for Thanksgiving. I responded that we were driving to Charlottesville, West Virgina for a few days. (Now, if you didn’t pick up on that, Charlottesville is in Virgina, not West Virgina.) I knew that. Really, I did. As soon as the words escaped my lips, I realized my mistake, and hoped he wouldn’t pick up on it.
Now, being a know-it-all doctor and all, he just couldn’t let it slide. You mean Virgina, he inquired? [Insert that moment of time standing still where you realize you're a complete moron here.] A normal person would have answered, yes, that’s what I meant. Maybe a giggle, end of story. Me, on the other hand? No, West Virginia, I say. It’s, um, much smaller than the other one… really pretty… long drive… I mumble. I have no idea what compelled me to respond like that, but the words were just spilling out, taking on a life of their own. He looked at me quizzically and wished me a safe trip. Hopefully, he took into account the fact that I hadn’t slept in three nights due to a hacking child. I bet not.
We’re off tomorrow, to plain old Virginia, to enjoy some good food, family and hopefully, moderately healthy children. I’m truly thankful that each of you somehow find me entertaining enough to keep visiting, despite the blonde behavior.
Wishing you all very, very Happy Thanksgiving!
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
ha ha ha ha ;-) It’s amazing what our brains do when they’re sleep deprived. I’m sure he’s seen/heard much worse.
Drive safely and have a wonderful Thanksgiving hon.
Ugh! That’s sooo one of my pet-peeves. The know-it-all-correctors. Really? You couldn’t just nod politely and smile? And keep your freaking smug smartness to yourself? Ugh! HATE THAT!
Anyway, have a safe trip and a great holiday!
Oh I am laughing right now and I sware it isn’t at you but with you! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I suffer from mommy’s mush brain syndrome also!!! I’m amazed I can still hold a conversation…..with adults that is. Have a wonderful trip and good luck with the kiddos.
I just love that you had to keep the lie going. It’s like watching a sitcom…without the laugh track. lol
Love it. Hope the kiddo is better.
Goofball! Hope your hubby’s driving and not you. You, take a nap in the back! Have a great weekend!
I’m sure we were separated at birth.
Happy Thanksgiving, you twit!! ;)
A verbal train wreck… love it.. I do stupid shit like that too…
Happy Thanksgiving!
That is SO painfully hilarious! I have done the same thing and felt my face getting redder and hotter as I go along- time sort of goes more slowly as well- Why do we do this???I also have very blond hair, even the short curleys! Blond to the bone! So glad to hear your story- I am not so alone…
Ha! We’ve all had those moments. And now we have a public forum to share our lunacy with others. Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for your donation. I really appreciate it!
Placenta brain at it’s best…
hee hee hee… I’ve had many moments like this. Where my mouth keeps moving, spouting who-knows-what. And my brain is screaming “Just stop talking! Shut up NOW!”
Happy Thanksgiving!
LOL….hope you have a safe trip and a Happy Thanksgiving
HOpe you have a great, great turkey day!!! (safe trip and all that shit)
I am sure there is a Charleston in West Virginia too : ). I hope he didn’t google it. What a jerk!
Happy Thanksgiving.
Love you, bean. Have a great Thanksgiving and give everyone a big hug for me.
By the way, I made the squash gratin for Thanksgiving. Can’t wait to dig in – YUM.
You made me laugh!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Bwahahahaaaaaa. I too would have mumbled myself into oblivion. Sigh. What IS it with us?
Oh…I feel your pain!
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you had a wonderful day in West Viginia…
Sounds like something I would do…I often wonder what I am thinking when I do those things…it’s nice to know there is omeone else out there!
Enjoy your trip to Virginia…we have property in Broadway…not too far from there!
Oh, I promise, I could totally make you feel better if I told you some stories…like driving for the first time to Deleware with my best friend’s family going through the Lehigh Tunnel… my friend’s mom who was sitting in the front next to her husband who was driving saw me whip my sunglasses off in the backseat and sit up straight…she asked me what I was doing and I responded: “The sign on the side of the road said PLEASE REMOVE SUNGLASSES BEFORE ENTERING TUNNEL…” I’ve never heard the end of it.
We should have a blonde moment contest…here’s one of my better ones….it’s a beautiful sunny day and I decide to take my car through the car wash over my lunch hour…la,la,la…I sit singing with the radio, I shove the money in the machine, wait for the car ahead of me to finish and s l o w l y move my car into “position”..yesssss, I did it! The water starts, moves across the front of the car, up the front….”whatthehell?…..water at the speed of a fire hose is blasting into my car…ah, oh, I see….ROLL THE WINDOWS UP! Worst part….I had to go back to work and explain why I was sopping wet. Yeah, I’m a blonde no matter what my hair color is! LOL With gratitude, Laurie B.
still giggling over your first paragraph – I keep saying the same thing – the more babies I have the more my brain disappears!