Parenting

Nightmare Fuel: Some Dude Built a Lifelike Scarlett Johansson Robot

by Mike Julianelle

Man builds robot replica of Scarlett Johansson, fulfills lifelong dream of terrifying everyone

Everybody likes Scarlett Johannson, right? Holds her own with superheroes and Woody Allen, has a smoky voice and a serious work ethic, and we even gave her an adorable nickname. It’s safe to say she has a lot of fans. There aren’t too many like Ricky Ma, though.

This dude, a product and graphic designer, likes ScarJo so much so that he spent year and a half, and $50,000, building a robot version of the actress. For what purpose? I can’t be sure, and am too demure to speculate, but I doubt he intended it to haunt his dreams the way it’s sure to haunt yours.

According to EW, three-fourths of Mark 1 (I prefer the name ScarRo) is made from 3-D printed technology and she (it? Siri? THE DEVIL HERSELF?) exhibits a programmed response to a number of verbal commands. Hopefully he’ll make some tweaks so that when she’s responding she doesn’t repeat herself like broken record. (Not that we aren’t used to that, right fellas?!)

If this dude is smart, which, weird cyborg-fetish aside, he certainly seems to be, he’ll craft some interchangeable faces so when ScarJo’s star fades he can replace her with the next Hollywood It Girl. He should totally get on that ASAP, because now that he’s broadcasting the existence of his robotic bombshell roommate, I’m gonna guess he won’t have a lot of actual human female companionship.

Remember when I said I was too demure to speculate about Ricky Ma’s motivation? Well, who needs to bother speculating? We’re all thinking the same thing! And I get it. Scarlett Johansson is an attractive lady, and if Ryan Reynolds can’t keep her, what chance does Ricky Ma have? Although if he’s got $50,000 laying around, he might have better options than a high-tech “real” doll.

Even if he doesn’t, this is a strange way to go. My wife just gave birth to our second kid, and after labor I was faced with a doctor-mandated six weeks of thinking about baseball. It wasn’t easy, but it was never “I should probably spend my entire savings building a robotic replica of an attractive, Golden Globe-nominated movie star!” to ease the transition! Look, I’m not judging the guy. We could all use a little robotic assistance from time to time. Although, as a parent, if I were to build a functional robot based on someone from the silver screen, it would be Mary Poppins. Babysitters are expensive!

You’ve gotta hand it to Ricky, though. He had a very specific bucket list, and he pulled it off. And just in time to capitalize on some “Captain America: Civil War” publicity!

“I figured I should just do it when the timing is right and realize my dream,” Ma told Mirror Online about deciding to build Mark 1. “If I realize my dream, I will have no regrets in life.”

Not so fast, Ricky. Something tells me that, when it comes time to clean your robot? You’ll have a regret or two.