Nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like some goddamn cinnamon rolls
You’ve probably already heard that celebrity chef Mario Batali has been accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women. He, like the dozens before him, then issued an apology but decided his apology needed to really stand out from the others and so he included a recipe with it.
Sadly, we’re not kidding.
A report published by Eater detailed four accounts of women who claimed that Batali “touched them inappropriately in a pattern of behavior that appears to span at least two decades.”
He issued an initial (recipe-free) apology stating he was “deeply sorry” and was promptly fired from his hosting gig on The Chew and stepped down from his hospitality group.
Batali then doubled down and issued another apology, this time in newsletter form which was sent via email to those signed up for his website. It read in part, “My behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility. Sharing the joys of Italian food, tradition and hospitality with all of you, each week, is an honor and privilege. I will work every day to regain your respect and trust.”
Then he adds the kicker:
“ps. in case you’re searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite.”
No way did this happen except it actually did because it’s 2017 and of course it did.
Basically his “apology” amounted to, “I’ve been a total creep preying on women for over 20 years using my power and position to manipulate and harass them and if that doesn’t make you hungry, I don’t know what will, so here’s some fucking cinnamon rolls.”
As one can imagine, the chef has been lit up like a Christmas tree over his apology rolls on Twitter:
MARIO BATALI: How do we address the sexual harassment?
PR TEAM: With a heartfelt apology.
MB: A cinnamon roll recipe should do the trick.
PR: That's a horrible idea.
MB: Yeah, let's go with that.
PR: You need to apologize.
MB: OK. Quick apology and then rolls.
PR: We're doomed. pic.twitter.com/dy7aIHUyDV
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) December 16, 2017
Mario Batali issued another apology regarding claims of sexual harassment and then continued to give a holiday recipe for cinnamon rolls. What an asshole. I mean really. The cinnamon rolls came out lovely, but what an asshole.
— The Fucking Cat (@TheFuckingCat) December 17, 2017
i cannot get over mario batali apologizing for harassing women and simultaneously offering a fucking cinnamon roll recipe pic.twitter.com/Yt3sv76qe9
— Polly Mosendz (@polly) December 16, 2017
Mario Batali putting a recipe at the end of his sexual assault apology letter is like if after Chris Brown confessed to battery he sang one of his songs. Seriously what the fuck even was that
— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 17, 2017
I feel like we're rushing to judgement. Has anyone even *tried* that cinnamon roll recipe from Batali?
— Atticus Grinch (@AtticusGF) December 17, 2017
Kevin Spacey: Yes, I have sexually harassed my colleagues; I'm gay.— tanner (@_TNNR) December 16, 2017
Mario Batali: Hold my beer.
A 30 for 30 on how Mario Batali came to the decision that posting a cinnamon roll recipe with an apology responding to sexual harassment allegations was a good idea.
— Sopan Deb (@SopanDeb) December 16, 2017
It’s anyone’s guess whose brainchild this was but if it weren’t Batali’s, someone on his marketing team should be fired along with him. On what planet would anyone in their right mind think this was a solid plan? Just an FYI, no woman wants to be groped or harassed while they are trying to work (or any place) and certainly no one wants this half-assed attempt at an apology by capitalizing on a “fan favorite.”
Batali, like so many others before him, seemed to find a way to make an apology to his victims all about himself.
Keep your cinnamon rolls to yourself dude, we’re good.