Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, Ben, and Evan) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.
@scarymommy
NYT bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies). Fond of curse words, sarcasm and Diet Coke.
The hilarious (and tragic) truth on feeding kids from @LShirtliffe http://t.co/VO50V1XG8A - 40 mins ago
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I’m not sure quite what to make of this.
But, man, I’m hot.
{ 114 comments… read them below or add one }
The visor over your eyes sets off your ample assets nicely.
.-= Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves´s last blog ..Makeover!! : Wednesday of Few Words =-.
You are clearly some type of super heroine with rad belt buckle, mutli-colored eye mask, and giant purple ta-tas.
Sensored eyes and big boobs. I’m certain she’s trying to protect your identity.
I love it!
Does she take request? Is she expensive? What’s her wait list? I’m in need of a good portrait of me, my kids are never so nice.
Interesting placement of the yellow star.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..I Took A Physique 57 Class and Lived To Blog About It =-.
Yowza, you are HOT!! Your RL pictures do not do you justice!!
.-= Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..Little Leprechaun – Wordless Wednesday =-.
Wow! Nice…um…smile. I think I’d hang on to that one. It’s nice to know your kids think of you as smiling and beautiful, isn’t it? :D
.-= Teddy Started It´s last blog ..The Happiness Project :: Slinky-do =-.
Is she a Star Trek fan? Love the visor thing a la LeVar Burton. :-)
I will NOT even comment on how well endowed you are… ;-)
Woohoo! Check you out with the blessed knockers!
I need to give Sophia a crayon and let her give me a boob job. Haha.
Yes! No need for pain or having to go under the knife, I like that idea ;)
.-= Sarah, Ohana Mama´s last blog ..“ROCK ON, she’s NOT PERFECT!” =-.
M always tells me I have ‘cool boobies.’ Apparently, your daughter think you do, too!
.-= LZ´s last blog ..I have nothing lengthy to say today. A collection of postlets. =-.
That is just wonderful. Your secret identity must be “Super Mom”. LOL. What a lovely gift from your daughter.
LOL, that’s awesome! Hey, they are perky, so that’s a bonus!
.-= Sarah, Ohana Mama´s last blog ..“ROCK ON, she’s NOT PERFECT!” =-.
nu-uh!!! that’s so funny!!! compliment, definitely
well, that is better than the big head, huge circles for eyes, line dissecting said head and many many legs that my daughter seems to think is me :)
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: The Luck O’ The Irish To Ya! =-.
HA! I wouldn’t mind having those lips and boobs!
Too cute.
-Aimee
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Mental Monday: What Kind Of Parent Are You? =-.
Nice rack.
.-= MommaSunshine´s last blog ..Celebrating Natural Beauty =-.
Look how tiny your waist is…
.-= Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Chicago =-.
I ACTUALLY laughed out loud. You are one hot mama.
.-= Stimey´s last blog ..Buffoonery. I Mean MORE Buffoonery. (And Something Serious) =-.
HA! Made me laugh out loud.
You are going to have to change the name of your blog!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Little Mama =-.
LOL! If I were you I’d be pretty flattered! ;) My son’s drawing would probably include my “huge tummy and builders bum face”. >_<
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..As requested… =-.
That’s a lovely belt you’re wearing.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Research =-.
yes you are HOT. nice rack momma. i pray the yellow belt is indeed that. LOL
.-= dawn´s last blog ..apple pie ice cream =-.
And so lovely that you can color-coordinate your brassiere with your lipstick.
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Smile for Me =-.
dayummmm girllll! you lookin hella fit! <3
.-= Kat ´s last blog ..An Open Letter, to the Internet. =-.
Clearly you are happy superwoman with gigantic, um, Dolly Parton-worthy, ta-tas. Lucky girl.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..The Officer Said, “Ma’am, I Think Your Car Is Jinxed.” =-.
That is the most perfect portrait I believe I have ever seen!!! I would frame that baby and hang it on the wall!
.-= Gigi´s last blog ..My mind has been completely and totally blown….. =-.
love the boobs, babe! lol
.-= RLG´s last blog ..Where Have I Been? =-.
Oh my god – that actually made me smile out loud – I needed that! Thank you for sharing!
.-= christy´s last blog ..Three Good Things Wednesday =-.
I see that puffy sleeves are in for this spring…
Lovely portrait, lovely!
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Cry me a river =-.
Nice bazongas.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Coming out of the in between =-.
OH MY GOD! How funny..save it forever. :D
And all I got yesterday was a “you are a nice person” from my daughter. I feel jipped.
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Handy Manny Big Race =-.
skinny, with big boobs – what could be better? :)
Wow! What a great figure you’ve got going on! Thanks for the laugh. :)
.-= Joanne @ Barely Domestic Mama´s last blog ..Get revived! Get inspired! =-.
Wow! But you know what? After the first – obvious – thing, the next to catch my eye was your ultra-cool Wonder Woman utility belt! I don’t think my kids *ever* drew me with Superhero accessories, you lucky gal!
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Baseco Bag – DONE! =-.
I see she has a great attention to detail!
.-= Christina´s last blog ..HAPPY HUMP DAY =-.
I hate to burst your bubble but I have seen you and those are the sleeves on your dress!
You’re Jane Fonda!
…as Barbarella, I mean.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4120549376/tt0062711
.-= Cindy S´s last blog ..Hey, Robert! Is that my jacket? =-.
Because I have seen you in person, I totally agree you are hot. I am pretty sure that is what Lilly was trying to tell you too.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Dress the Part =-.
This is awesome. I’m printing it out ASAP to take with me to the plastic surgeon.
(Kidding! I’m not going to see a surgeon for at least two years. But oh yes, I will be there!)
.-= Sara Plays House´s last blog ..Sunday Night Art Show =-.
Hi, newbie to your blog via Facebook and stumble across your true identity as “Boob Girl – fights crime with her giant ta-tas”! hehehe I sure wish my kiddies thought I was that errr uh heroic! :0)
.-= Crystal Martin´s last blog ..You’ve Been Sentenced. Twisted Fish Review and Giveaway =-.
It really is hard to see ANY other part of the picture! LOL!
Maybe you should layoff the “the private area is PRIVATE” talks for awhile. She may be taking it to the extreme. However, if she could draw me with books like that, I really would prefer to have my eyes showing. It will be the only time people will see me with large breasts and I want to make sure they know it is me.
.-= Frugal Vicki´s last blog ..Its a tweet thing…. =-.
Holy Mackerel, Andy. Just Holy Damn Mackerel.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Sarah – Jake’s new shop =-.
Maybe she is up with the new shoulder pad trend? Either that or Wonder Woman got a makeover and she looks JUST like you!
Too too too funny!
.-= becca´s last blog ..I’ve moved!!! =-.
Just noticed the belt… definitely a super hero. You are obviously doing something right in her book!
.-= becca´s last blog ..Something Right =-.
Priceless! Though you might have to change the blog from Scary Mommy to Dolly Mommy.
You are Lara Croft, Boob Raider!
LOVE this!!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..White Trash Motherlode: Pimiento Cheese Spread =-.
Va Va Va VOOM!
.-= Melisa´s last blog ..How Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga Saved The Jewish People =-.
hhahah!
That’s just cute :D
.-= Priscilla-wheelchair Mommy´s last blog ..365. Let me explain. =-.
That is awesome! My daughter actually took a picture of me a few months ago, and the way she angled the camera I looked like Dolly Parton!
.-= Stacey´s last blog ..Everybody’s Irish on March 17th, right? =-.
hahahahahahah those are some perky boobies!!! very cute!
.-= This Mama Works It!´s last blog ..St. Patty’s Day School Party: Add Another To The List Of My Mommy Screw Ups! =-.
Hahaha! That’s awesome. I’d have a big pink smile too if my boobs looked like that.
.-= Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole´s last blog ..The family walk =-.
I believe puffy sleeves are making a comeback?
This made me LOL. You totally know what to make of this, right? ;)
I love Lily!!!
That picture is fabulous!
xxx
.-= Daisie´s last blog ..The Yorshireman Keeping Me Sane! =-.
just half a purple boob. that’s all i’m askin’…..
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..wordful wednesday: the cupboard of shame =-.
You got some bodacious tatas!
That is hilarious! I am seriously cracking up. I bet you almost hit the floor in shock and awe when you saw this one!!!
.-= Jodi´s last blog ..bundled up =-.
Those are either the perkiest boobs I’ve ever seen or one serious case of tonselitis.
.-= megryansmom´s last blog ..Post-it Note Tuesday =-.
My boobs are actually that big, but when my daughter draws me, I come out with a huge head instead. That’s it, next time I want a portrait that’ll do good to my self-esteem I’m hiring Lily instead.
.-= Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels´s last blog ..Silence is golden. Or maybe it’s made of Swiss chocolate. =-.
I think she definitely captured your essence of sexiness!
.-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..Light in the Piazza =-.
Wow, that’s the quickest and most reasonably priced breast enhancement I have seen yet. Congratulations! :-)
.-= Teri´s last blog ..Pins and Needles =-.
AHAHAHA! I love it! Princess Nagger would probably draw me as a dinosaur. ;)
.-= Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..In the Beginning, There Was A Blog… and it was Random =-.
hahaha! That is AWESOME! Ego booster! :)
.-= Jaden´s last blog ..(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday #27- Four Generations =-.
I seriously laughed out loud!! Maybe you should hire her out to do portraits! She’s pulling out the best attributes…women would pay big money to hang this pic in their hallway…so would dads!
.-= LoveFeast Table´s last blog ..Midtown Global Market Blogger Night =-.
Your kids are hilarious! I’m so glad you have a blog about them.
.-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..Daddies for Hire =-.
I’m envious of your stellar rack.
.-= Sarahviz´s last blog ..Notsomuch a 24-Hour Virus =-.
jill, i know i have not seen you in almost a year….did you get something done that i didn’t know about?
LOL! Wow, are those puffy sleeves or your boobs? Makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite and my favorite movie line…”I like your sleeves, they are real big”.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..A Thorough Inspection =-.
Hot and well-endowed.
That’s hilarious! I’ve just started following your blog and cracking up the way I just will definitely bring me back for more :)
.-= Dalia´s last blog ..Oscar gowns =-.
HA!!! I would take it as a compliment, personally! LOL!
Wow! What big…eyes you have. And a tiny waist!
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Work In Progress: Part 1 – Exercise =-.
LOL. Oh thank you, I needed that laugh.
That is awesome and you definitely need to keep that one for when she’s older!!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday- Predator =-.
Gotta love how the kids view us. I have saved the first drawings of all my kids. They’re fun to look back on.
.-= Michelle @ Italian Mama Chef´s last blog ..We are Paying it Forward today with CCWA =-.
Wow she sees you as skinny with big boobs! That is bad ass!
.-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..Photo bliss =-.
Wow… you are MY hero TOO! :) LOL
Nice rack! bwahaha!
.-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Potty Training and Tacos =-.
I dig the Star Trek TNG LeVar Burton shades. And is that a yellow brooch on your, er, um, …. :)
.-= Julie N.´s last blog ..Mr. Sondheim, Your Children Listened. =-.
–>That made me LAUGH. I LOVE it! I bet she channeled your husband’s ideas.
.-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..St. Patrick’s Day Bunco =-.
LOL! Hey……didn’t you know puffy princess sleeves went out in the 90′s. :)
.-= Michelle @ one crafty mama´s last blog ..WW – Goodbye and Good Riddance! =-.
It’s the ta-ta’s.
.-= Jessica – This Is Worthwhile´s last blog ..6:03 pm: Leprachaun at work =-.
Holy smokes will you look at those ta-tas! Now I’m curious to see how big mine will look when my daughters starting drawing them – ’cause I’m big in real life!
boobalicious!
frame it! Love it!
Wow, Barbie has nothing on you doe she? :-)
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Is This the End or the Beginning? (SAHM Series) =-.
Some women pose for Playboy, so that when they get old and their bits ain’t so bitty they can look back and relive their glory days. But who needs Playboy when you’ve got this??
.-= Domesticated Gal´s last blog ..Just Call Me Donna Reed =-.
And what’s with the yellow spot – is that your solar plexus or your – um… ? She’s got all the bases covered, it would appear. And kids usually do – love it!
BOOBALICIOUS!
.-= Peaches´s last blog ..Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Y’all! =-.
Holy boobies, Batman!
.-= Melissa (adventuroo)´s last blog ..It’s a Giveaway! Handmade Elf Hat from EliesHappyHats =-.
notice the strategic placement of the golden pocket-o-honey. (Ok, I know it’s just a gold belt, but I give her artistic license).
.-= Rachel Molly´s last blog ..Kentridge or Kantorowitz, a fine artist indeed =-.
hahahahah I love it! wow you are so well endowed! ;) Are you sure your husband didn’t draw this?
.-= Jen @ After The Alter´s last blog ..The Decision To Do Nothing =-.
Ha! I don’t even know. But that’s funny.
.-= Rachael´s last blog ..How We See Birth: Changing Our Perceptions =-.
I’m overcome with jealousy at the size of those melons and the size of your skinny waste!
Love it!! Hilarious!!
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
.-= Megan´s last blog ..First Things First =-.
That is fantastic! I can’t wait until mine starts drawing portraits!! Heaven only knows what she’ll come up with. Thanks for sharing!
.-= Jackie ´s last blog ..Grow Potatoes in Straw =-.
Nice boobs!!!!!!!!!
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Veggie for Your Thoughts? =-.
Ya know, this one has had me stumped for quite a few days….and at first, because my glasses for smeared with peanut butter from a month ago, I thought the gold belt was a landing strip—for—well—–you know…..
And then I cleaned the glasses and now it really does indeed appear to be a belt…
but I am still working on that upper flotation devise apparatus’s.
I’m gonna keep working on it.
I’ll be back.
Don’t float away.
.-= The Grasshoppa: Triplet Plus Two Momma´s last blog ..The Not So Secret Garden =-.
Hilarious! I LOVE it! Those are some huge purple knockers–who cares what the rest looks like!?!?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! When they take a break from saying the darndest things, they draw. Love it.
.-= Deb´s last blog ..My running partner =-.
NICE rack. ;)
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Friday 5 + 1 =-.
I totally love it – and would frame it!
I put a link on my blog to your site – love it! – next to links to the AMAA, the APHA, WebMD, the American Medical College Application Service, among others. So funny – but I love how you look at life and think it would be helpful for other physician spouses!
.-= Liz´s last blog ..FOLDING LAUNDRY MAY NOT BE SUCH A GOOD CHORE =-.
Pam Anderson is jealous
That’s awesome. Thanks for the laugh!
Do you really have a purple dress….and, uh, a double H bustline? Just wondering…
.-= KellieS´s last blog ..How Do I Know I Need Help? =-.
Ummmmm… NO. I have a large waist and flat chest. I prefer her version.
Awesome.
That is the best thing I have seen all day! Hehehehe!!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Isn’t It Lovely! =-.
Oh dear Lord I needed that! So funny! I would hate to see how she would draw my ever engorged boobies. Truly scary!
And yes – you are HOT!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..WooBee and ‘B’ Blanket for Rain or Shine! {Review and Giveaway} =-.
I love it! That’s hilarious!
.-= Tired Mom Tésa´s last blog ..Interview with Actress Nicole Sullivan – Jenny Craig’s Newest Spokesperson =-.
I am going to think outside of the box and say she was drawing your HUGE heart..or maybe just her version of Barbie mommy :)
You’re a bandit too!
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