Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Taking Back What’s Ours - June 19, 2013
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
I spoke to a reporter from CNN on Wednesday for a story about medicating children with non-prescription medication.
Had I ever done it, she asked?
Yes, I replied. One time, under the recommendation of my doctor, I gave my 18 month old daughter Benadryl on a 2 hour flight to help her cope. The plan backfired. She was wired, the flight was a disaster and that was the end of that. Since then, I have never given my children medication as a way to benefit me. Lesson learned.
Do you know people who do, she asked?
Yes, I said. It’s a totally selfish act, but who am I to judge? I’m hardly a perfect parent.
Under what circumstances do you think it is acceptable?
I suppose it’s better than screaming at or beating a kid when all your buttons are being pushed. An airplane ride with three out of control toddlers? Yeah, that might be a good reason. A survival mechanism, I said.
And that was the end of that.
To clear things up: Obviously, drugging your child is not a good idea. Big fat fucking duh. Neither is beating them or losing it on an airplane full of 200 people.
It’s been so enlightening to read about all of the parents out there who never make a less than perfect decision. The posts dedicated to bashing me have been especially fun to read. And, the comments on the article? Woot! Good times.
For all of you perfect parents making perfect decisions in your perfect lives, this isn’t the place for you. Why don’t you look up some of the feminist/breastfeeding blogs? Those folks always seem to have the right answers.
And, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
{ 198 comments… read them below or add one }
I love you. That is all. (And a little Benadryl never hurt anyone.)
Sarahviz recently posted..Cape Cod Vacationing Over the Years
I love you too. And, thank you. :)
Oh, yes, I read that self-righteous piece of crap yesterday.
I want to know, doesn’t the air get awfully THIN from way up on top of that high horse?
I was four months pregnant with twins when my 18 month old’s pediatrician recommended the Benedryl for the plane ride, also. My son’s reaction, much to my dismay, was to become wired also. Talk about an uncomfortable plane ride from Syracuse, NY to San Jose, CA – including a layover at O’Hare in Chicago where I had a “leash” – for lack of a better word – on my son and we went about tripping businessmen who were paying no attention.
No more Benedryl for my kids, period!
Nicki recently posted..Giving and Receiving
OMG! I laughed so hard at the image of a toddler on a leash tripping idiots not paying attention. I hate airports, when I have a double stroller people actually cut in front of me and wonder why their ankles get run over. You should have let him kick them after they tripped. Common sense gets completely lost once people get into an airport. As for drugging your kids, I haven’t done Benedryl but my two year old loves his “mommy’s helper” or tylenol as normal people call it. Am I perfect not by a long shot but with a “active” (to put it nicely) 2 year old, an ADD 9 year old, and a diva daughter who is 6 months, I do what I have to. I love your posts scary mommy, I follow you on facebook but am normally shy about posting.
Ignore them. They’re morons who look for opportunities to pass judgment.
Now please excuse me while I give the kids margaritas for breakfast.
I know, I know. I thought my skin was thick but I was still word down from the breastfeeding drama and now this. Next time, I’m just ignoring. or, I’ll try.
I want to know about the breast feeding drama!
I get so sick of everyone throwing that up in peoples faces. If people want to breast feed they should be allowed and if they want to formula feed that is fine too! Who really gives a flip! People are so crazy. And a lot of the Christian bloggers I know are absolutely OBSESSED with making sure they tell everyone how they breast feed. I think they need to get over themselves….
Life with Kaishon recently posted..One More Day
http://www.scarymommy.com/mother-knows-best/
Read the comments, starting after 50 or so. It was a funny, light post until some woman called the “Feminist Breeder” posted about it and the nasty comments, e-mails and FB updates started coming. Oy.
oh wow. I commented early on that post so never saw the nasty flood that came later. Yuck! I love that you told someone to get over herself!
Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole recently posted..It’s only a leeetle bit scary…
What is funny to me is the name Feminist Breeder seems to be an oxymoron. Wouldn’t most feminists be offended by the term breeder??
Kameron recently posted..A little R & R
She seems to have misquoted you a wee bit. And those comments? Don’t read them – seriously, people are jackasses and you know why you did what you did and don’t need to be judged for it. Screw them.
Oh, NO. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I was interviewed for the Globe and Mail awhile back and so excited about it, until I started reading the comments the piece was getting. At one point I was asked what I put in Jake’s lunch and I said, among other things, “juice”. People were then criticizing my choice of food items, saying that juice wasn’t healthy and just sugar water, etc. Some basically said I was full of crap and who cares what a “house mum” thinks, anyway?
What wasn’t printed (but I had said) was that Jake is lactose intolerant and the juice is the ONLY juice he gets throughout the day. The rest is water. And it’s better than the 64 oz sodas from the 711 that some people allow THEIR kids to have. (ok I didn’t say THAT). In the end, I refused to read the comments and resolved that from that moment on, if I’m ever in the news or whatever, I’m NOT reading comments because people are just plain VILE.
Hang in there. The losers will find someone else to pounce on soon enough.
Scatteredmom recently posted..Food Revolution Road Trip Day 5- Cow Kisses and Peer Pressure
Juice??!?!? That’s simply appalling. Better he be dehydrated.
I covered the story yesterday for Babble and I think I made it clear that there’s a big difference between giving your kid Benadryl before flying and giving a kid an entire bottle of cough syrup to get them to sleep (and which led to a child’s death). I have to say that reading the full article freaked me out — it served as a reminder that any sort of medication (even ones prescribed by a doctor) can be dangerous. I appreciated your honesty and bravery for speaking the truth and am sorry you’ve had to deal with the backlash. But I also think it’s important that parents don’t take medicating kids lightly.
Yes, I agree- it’s not to be taken lightly. But, like everything else, why does it have to be so black and white? A little Benadryl is a totally different story than dolling out ADD meds like tic-tacs.
And here’s where my hackles were raised (both here and in the article). As a parent of a child with ADHD and as a friend of many others whose children have ADHD, I’ve NEVER seen anyone “dolling out ADD meds like tic-tacs.”
Kelly recently posted..The King
Ok, I read it. I really have no words. I think you were so completely taken out of context. It is a wonder that they ever get any quotes from anyone. Ever.
My doctor has actually suggested giving Benadryl to my daughter to help her sleep. And if you look at the labels the same active ingredient in Benadryl is in sleeping meds. As long as you don’t overdose your kid or make a habit out of it then I don’t see the problem. Especially if it has been recommended by your doctor.
But regardless of that, I think there are two completely different points here and to mix them up together like that totally takes away from the message that needed to be delivered. There is a huge difference between giving your kid the recommended dosage of Benadryl and overdosing them on ADHD or OTC meds.
Jennifer recently posted..Fit B4 40 – Saddling Up
Yes, exactly.
I don’t have anything profound to add to this discussion, just wanted to express my condolences that the mommy mafia got ya. It’s like they think there are reward points or something for expressing outrage. THERE ARE NO POINTS. You will have to buy that coffee maker with your own money. And don’t let your children have any, or you will be pilloried in your turn. Good Lord.
Lorraine recently posted..Chain Lakes Is For Lovers
Mwahahaha – outrage points. There’s a blog post in there somewhere… :D
Tammy recently posted..Ponderings
I love you…I’m sorry. I honestly think people are just looking for a fight.
I agree with pgoodness, I think you were misquoted and at the least the article was slanted to make it more exciting.
Ignore the comments. There will always be someone out there who can parent better than us, have babies better than us (c-section drug taker here..bring on the comments), feed their families better than us. Let them because being perfect must be a royal pain in the ass. I like things from my little corner of the world – doing the best I can. Chin up.
Kathryn recently posted..Summer Camp for a six-year old will cause NIGHTMARES
I’d hardly describe your use of Benadryl as malicious. I recently did a 9.5 hour flight with my nearly 3 year old and was tempted to give her Medised especially when they informed me that she was not allowed to watch her favourite programs on my iphone at any point during the flight!!!!!!!
Just wanna add after reading that…
If that’s how CNN reporters twist Mom Bloggers words, then I sure as hell will think twice about talking to them. GAH!
Scatteredmom recently posted..Food Revolution Road Trip Day 5- Cow Kisses and Peer Pressure
Congratulations on your recognition and exposure.
You’re voice is entertaining to read.
Parents anesthitising children has been going on forever.
It provides the competitive edge we adults need to combat youthful exhuberance.
Parenthood is a lot of, “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
Child abuse, schmild abuse.
I’m thinking those that are all in a tizzy need to calm the hell down – perhaps some Benadryl for themselves to take the edge off?
guarros recently posted..Obsession is Contagious
I haven’t read it either, but all I can say to your last sentence is “You go, girl!”
*giant fistpump*
Jen recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- you say toe-may-toe- I say yum!
What about those of us sipping wine while we breastfeed? We screw the whole perfection equation, no?
My stepdad had unique wisdom for these kinds of situations it went a little something like, “F*ck ‘em.”
amanda recently posted..Medicine
All the self righteous perfect parents & those who have yet to become parents but have all the answers can FUCK OFF!!
I would love to know the statistics of how many “perfect parents” children end up in therapy as Adults
Wouldn’t THOSE stats be intriguing :)
The media spins everything. I remember this little article in the NYTimes about a blog conference a while back….
Let’s see…you gave medication on a doctor’s recommendation. Bad, bad mother, ScaryMommy!
Sigh.
Michele – The Professional Family Manager recently posted..What I’m Worth Wednesday- the June Wrap-Up Edition
A NYTimes article? I can’t for the life of me remember that one! ;)
Comments -shmomments…don’t read them. We are all trying to make it through the day the best we can and to have another pass judgement on that, sucks- especially when you listened to your DOCTOR….oh, well.
The more I read your site, the more I love it.
So you taught us all two things, do not give Benadryl on a plane ride and don’t talk to CNN.
Kelly recently posted..My Blog Bucket List
Yes, two very valuable lessons. And, don’t read nasty comments. Three lessons for you!
Preach it, Jill.
That is so ridiculous that I won’t even grace the article with my presence to read it.
Some day, THOSE people will have a moment where they screw up or do something less than perfect. It’ll only be then they learn the lesson not to judge.
gigi recently posted..Friday Flip-Offs- 7-23 Edition
Step AWAY from the comments. This is just another case of a reporter bending a twisting a “story” to make it more controversial. You were bamboozled, and CNN ought to make it right. By giving you your own parenting column, of course.
These so-called perfect parents obviously don’t live in reality.
Sara Plays House recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
I agree. With YOU.
Em recently posted..Dateline- Westpoint
God, what a horrible article. (I broke my own personal rule for that, btw: never read the comments on CNN.com. Jesus. That was a good reminder of why I made that rule in the first place!)
I have *totally* given my kid Benadryl for a long flight. Now that she’s older, I give her half of a children’s Dramamine, which is more for her comfort than anything else, because she tends to get motion sickness. The fact that it also helps her sleep is just a bonus.
But yeah, how great to know that some people out there find parenthood to be a total breeze and never second-guess anything they ever do/have done. Right. How nice for them.
It was just a dumb article, wasn’t it?!
I have to admit I love the photo they ran with the article. So staged, so completely not getting it.
Every experience I have ever had with being quoted, featured, etc., has been an absolute disaster when it has been *AS A MOTHER.* They’ll throw us all under the bus before we know what is happening.
Quite frankly, I’m glad I’m bailing on BlogHer based on all the drama I have seen flare up on Twitter in the past few days alone. Get a grip, girls!
foxy.kate recently posted..I can’t control my kids!
Am I missing the drama regarding blogher on twitter?? Is it about the private parties?
Mama Kat recently posted..English Teacher In The Ghetto
No! Is there party drama? I am oblivious to these things.
It just seems that a lot of the folks that I enjoy reading & who I think are excellent are all suddenly at odds with each other. It’s some sort of full moon internet phenomenon!
foxy.kate recently posted..I can’t control my kids!
Ya gotta not read the comments, dearheart. Bad for the blood pressure!
Serene recently posted..12 Intimidating Foods I Want to Learn to Make
–>I try to avoid the “I would never do that as a parent….” besides the obvious things.
WebSavvyMom recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Dont Shoot!
People can be real jackholes can’t they. I suppose we should really just try to learn from those perfect parents huh.
fuck. them.
Jen recently posted..Organizing the Make-Up Drawer
Sweet Baby Jesus on Rice cracker. I’m pretty sure if we all spent a little less time worrying about how we are so much superior than other mothers then maybe then we could call ourselves the perfect parent. You can’t say anything anymore without critics because, “OMG I do this and it is sooo much better for not stunting your childs growth for 8 years.”
Again and again I am reminded how we should spend less time being so critical and more time helping and uplifting one another.
That article is bullsh*t. It’s almost always a DOCTOR recommending meds for sleep (or any other behavior issue a child might have) People really need to get over themselves.
Ignore the ignorance in the comments, those people have nothing better to do then be haters because it makes them feel better about themselves.
I love your blog btw :-)
Amanda recently posted..Vader Was a Deadbeat dad too
Wow. So out of context. I hate that about journalism and interviewers. Never the whole damn story analways one side, theirs. Maybe you shouldn’t talk to effin’ CNN anymore, jerkwads. They failied to mention that the Benadryl was your docs idea paving the way to numerous assholike comments…
donna reed recently posted..Easy Stuffed Green Peppers OR How to make an urbilly smile
As I said on Twitter, I believe that any normal parent would understand what you were trying to say!! I’m now getting abusive Tweets saying that I believe in “doping”children!! Wow….never had any abuse before…..must admit it’s quite novel!!!
I’ll just have to go with my usual: PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. :-) Unless people walk in your shoes, they have no right to pass judgement or even *enlighten* you with their *wonderful* opinions.
Oh brother. Way to get it totally wrong. That’s lame.
PS-I’ve been known to give my kids medicine, too. And I breastfed. And I yell. And I spank. Whatever. My kids are doing just fine.
Lolli recently posted..Cooling Off…GMYBSPSF
Good for you speaking your truth! Don’t let the haters get you down. I’ve noticed that the ‘parents who think they’re perfect’ usually end up raising serial killers and psychos anyway…just sayin…..
Dawn (Bee and Rose) recently posted..How Do Ya Like Me Now!
My mom used to give me Benadryl for flights…hey, it’s 14 hours from LAX to Sydney. Can’t say it traumatized me, and I really can’t say I’ve axe-murdered anyone lately. Those CNN people need to take a Benadryl and chill the heck out.
Jill you are dearly loved.
Surely CNN has sent you lovely people who wouldn’t have known about your blog had the article not made you look like some kind of child drugging mad woman. You go on with your drugging and I’ll continue chasing children around my home with scissors.
Mama Kat recently posted..English Teacher In The Ghetto
The media, oh how I love them! I’m sure you gave someone reading the article some much needed support and perspective, so ignore everyone who took your words out of context….on the upside now you are a bona fide celebrity!~
But ScarryMommy, “Why don’t you look up some of the feminist/breastfeeding blogs?Those folks always seem to have the right answers.” That sounds like exactly the kind of thing you don’t appreciate happening to you, blanket statements and judgement….besides what kind of a feminist wouldn’t support putting her needs right up there with her children’s? I know I do!
Yuliya recently posted..Notes on Nursing
Oh, I’m still reeling from the nastiness from hard core breastfeeders last week on the post: http://www.scarymommy.com/mother-knows-best/
The one (not written by me) that had people telling me I would be better off with a goldfish or houseplant than children since I didn’t breastfeed them. That’s where my snide comment was stemming from.
Yup, I didn’t read the comments before I replied, and I haven’t read the breastfeeding drama yet (will do just as soon as the wee one detaches from my boob…..God forbid she sleep without my nipple in her mouth!) but before I even wade through the nastiness, I’ll be honest I cringed a little when I read that guest post, but I’m fairly certain that the point of her post was “don’t be so hard on yourself, each decision is not as monumental as you might think it is at the time, don’t stress and your kids will thank you” NOT “hey everyone go feed your kids some formula and PS I secretly work for Similac and moonlight as Satan”… I think people need to treat each other on the internet as they would in real life, and possibly take a chill pill.
What happened?
What the heck.
I need to go give out some beat downs.
If I see a post bashing you I will totally have to bash right back.
I think people might be jealous of how well you are doing with blogging.
I am SO happy for you and proud of you Jill.
You are a GREAT mommy!
And a great blogger.
And even MORE than that….you are a GREAT person! : )
Life with Kaishon recently posted..One More Day
Oh, you make me smile. No way am I linking to those sites, but suffice it to say they are MEAN. But, thank you, for having my back.
Bah, forget them. I think you rock. If there are perfect parents out there, I sure don’t want to be one. I like my imperfect, learn-as-I-go kinda life.
Sandra recently posted..A look at the past
I read the article yesterday on CNN.com; that’s how I found you, and I’m sooooo grateful that I did! Thank god there are other Moms who curse, and are less-than-perfect. You are the proverbial breath of fresh air to me. The past 6 years of reading about and talking to all the seemingly perfect mothers has irked me beyond belief. And, yes, I’ve given my child Benadryl to break a 2 week lack-of-sleep cycle!
Welcome– I can’t believe you lasted 6 years out there.
Oh please! My now 11 yr old daughter sat quietly like a perfect angel on a plane…My now 19 yr old son was another story…Let’s just say I apologized to the passengers as we were boarding, wasn’t long before they knew why! I can’t wait til these judgemental parents make their first slip up because their children WILL try them at some point…lets just hope someone’s around to do an article on it…
Wow. I feel dumber having read through the CNN comments. YouTube comments are almost scholarly in comparison. *barf*
If you’re a bad mom for what you put in your kid’s mouth, than my daughter is a bad kid b/c she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth.
Pop recently posted..Grill- Pop- Grill- Jalapeño Lime Chicken
Well I read the article, even though I could barely get past the RIDICULOUS photo. I mean seriously. It seems like they went out of their way to twist your quotes into what they needed.
I’m skipping the comments section, though, because I’m pretty sure I’d have the same “Big fat fucking duh” reaction as you did.
Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole recently posted..It’s only a leeetle bit scary…
No kidding! It was just an all around dumb piece.
This article brought me to you!! Yay free press! You’re like my long lost soul-sister!! I spent every baby-napping moment reading your blog yesterday… In my yoga pants that I have NEVER worn for actual yoga!!! You are wonderful and you are REAL!! Fuck that judgmental bitch! I especially liked where she likened giving benadryl to a child for a flight to the poor child that was given COCAINE!! WTF? Is she kidding??
Keep it up! Your blog has me laughing with you, and it’s so freaking cool to know you’re out there and blogging :)
LOL! It’s great to meet you, and yes- that’s the good part, for sure!
I have never understood people feeling the need to 1) judge and 2) actually tell you that they are judging you for it.
Krystyn recently posted..Quick- come take our picture PSF
Jill – I think you are an inspiration and I so look forward to reading your posts.
I can say but I totally agree with all of the comments here supporting you.
My brother and sister in law used to roll their eyes every time my daughter had a tantrum. My brother once made a comment at a family function that went something like this “do you think the reason Nancy has so many tantrums is because you are a counselor and try to word NO differently?” To which I promptly told him to fuck off. Now he has 2 beautiful, spirited, full of piss and vinegar girls who tantrum every time they are said no to…I have yet to say anything caddy though it has taken some tongue biting till bleeding at times… People are so quick to judge!
Bravo to you! :)
I medicate my children all the time for kinds of reasons. I enjoy it and it makes them happy.
Jill, you are awesome. I adore you. All those trolls can go fuck themselves.
Jen recently posted..A Good Deal
It is amazing who such a big deal gets made out of comments taken out of context. I am all for free speech, but wish journalists would try for some honestly – not just sensationalism.
Hang in there!
It is amazing how such a big deal gets made out of comments taken out of context. I am all for free speech. I just wish journalists would try for some honestly – not just sensationalism.
Hang in there!
If there ever was a time to not read the negative comments, THIS is it! They’re commenting on something so out of context that you can’t even read the stuff and take it seriously. I’m so sorry, Jill. What a waste of your time.
Yikes. That’s awful. I’m sorry. Just know that there’s a whole bunch of us out here that understand what you were saying, and support you, and would like to give all those idiots the middle finger.
The idiots are just louder, that’s all.
amber recently posted..Writing Workshop- A Wedding Song
But you guys are the ones that matter. :)
Wow. OUCH!!! So, have you handed over your ovaries yet?
You need some seriously thick skin if you’re in the company of perfect parents. I once vented on a parenting message board about how hard it was to deal with my toddler while so exhausted from my non-stop colicky 8 week-old. I said I was miserable and was told that I should do my kids a favor and drop them off at the nearest fire station, that I was a horrible mother and completely unfit for the job. This was exactly the stuff I needed to hear at that moment, right? Thank you anonymous perfect parent for helping out a fellow mom!
Allison @ Motherhood, WTF? recently posted..Time to Bring Back My Swear Jar
Ouch!!! That’s *just* what a frustrated new mother needs to hear.
Yeah I read that article and a few of the comments. To be honest, I read it because I thought WOW must be a slow day over at CNN if this is the best they can do for a story.
To be fair, I read their news all the time and when I feel like pulling out my toenails, I sometimes peruse the comments section instead (just as painful, less blood) and I have to tell you……it’s ALWAYS awful in there.
The thing is people from Fox news come over to bitch about CNN and liberalism in general and stir up the pot. Maybe some people from CNN do that over at Fox, I don’t know because I don’t get my news from them. Not trying to politicize….just wanting to make a comparison here so wait for it….wait for it…..I kinda likened the breastfeeding frenzy to the CNN comments section. People who are bored, going out purposely looking for something to piss them off, so they can get off on the drama.
Unfortunately you’re stuck in the middle. Just keep keeping on girl, and think about all the cool members (why like me, of course :o) who wouldn’t have found your blog without that vapid article.
:op
Thinking about that does make it better. :)
And, FOX called asking me to come in for an interview on the matter. Ha! No, thank you.
Oh my God……..now THAT is abusive…….I’d make a person drink a gallon of benadryl before subjecting them to an interview at Fox!
this is why i don’t like cnn, among other things. talk about taking things out of context! what a load of donkey shit. i’m really sorry you are having to deal with this–even though you’re probably trying to not let it get to you, i know it’s gotta feel like crap.
just wanted to add my two cents and say that those people who are ripping you a new one for giving your kid benadryl? they are jerks. seriously. even if they do or don’t have a valid point (as for me, i gave my son codeine on a cross-country drive because he had a painful infection, and he slept like a log, thank you), i don’t understand why people can’t just be happy making their own decisions for their own families and leaving it at that. why must they try to make the rest of the world feel bad for having a different way of doing things?
it just burns my ass so bad. and i don’t like assburny feelings.
sorry again. you didn’t deserve this.
alexis recently posted..the olivia chronicles- letter eight
Woot! You yell em. There’s no way in hell those moms are nearly as perfect as they claim to be. And if they are, well they THEY are the ones drugged up.
Allison @ Alli n Son recently posted..Sparkling Moments
Ouch, my brain hurts. I read the guest post by Nina and then probably 50 comments in the middle. I guess what I have to say is this:
Being a parent is hard. Obviously. Everyone wants to do the best they can. But not everyone is going to agree what that best way is. I know that as I parent, I’m going to make some drastically different choices than most people around me would because I know myself, I know my husband, and I have a good idea about what will work best for us. I DO get judgemental sometimes when I hear someone is making a different choice than me, and I just have to remind myself that all anyone really *needs* as a parent is support, not critisism.
So, with that said, I support you, Jill. I support Nina too.
Lessons in Life and Light recently posted..Photo Walkin’ With Amanda!
What you have to say, says it all. I agree, completely.
I once was interviewed by USNews about something. I used my real name and did not link to my blog. The 500 comments or so were so mean and now when you search our real names on google the article comes up and so do the comments.
Never again will I allow anyone to interview me. Ever.
OHmommy recently posted..Climbing Mt Everest seems like a more obtainable goal
Dude, I’m just impressed you haven’t quit talking to anyone about anything ever. I got ONE semi-douchy comment this week and practically cried myself to sleep – you get attacked all over the place and still keep your shit totally together.
You win at the internet.
And I agree your comments were edited to make the article more provocative. I had to click through and read the whole thing to even begin to understand WHO could possible object to your statements.
Wow! I guess these people are the perfect parents…maybe they could give me a few pointers. ;)
I’ve always been in favor of beer in that Playtex bottle thingy – in case of emergency, of course. :)
lceel recently posted..Sarah – Exposed Shot – Part 2
I came across your blog this morning after reading that CNN article. I’m not a mom (we are going to start trying next spring), but I have to tell you I’m thoroughly enjoying reading your posts and the comments from your readers. It’s so nice to hear what it’s like to be a mom without all the BS.
Wanted to let you know I was recently on a 4-hour flight. A couple a few rows ahead of me were flying with triplets under the age of 3. They slept most of the way – I barely heard a sound out of them. The mom told me she gave them Benadryl. My response – without a second thought was – THANK YOU.
p.s. I’m now following you on Twitter – keep the comments/thoughts/advice coming!
Triplets under three + an airplane is the best reason for Benadryl.
*clapclapclapclap*
Good for you for standing up to that crap. Like no parent ever gave their kid Benedryl (or as we like to refer to it, the magical happy time inducer) when they had taken cranky to a whole other level.
Judgmental people like that piss me off.
Alana Morales, Author Domestically Challenged recently posted..Blogstalking Friday
Dude, does that make you want to crawl under a rock? Not because you did anything wrong but rather to escape anything that is hurling insults as you? I have so been there.
Why oh why is everyone out there ready – no, not ready, EAGER – to jump all over everyone else’s decisions and rate them as GOOD, BAD, or NOT EVEN CLOSE TO AS GOOD AS ME. People love to hold the mirror up to other folks to see their mistakes, but when do they hold the mirror up to themselves?
Fuck. Them. All.
that is all.
Texan Mama recently posted..My Kids Getting Mauled by a Bobcat Was The Last Thing I thought Id Have To Worry About In Suburbia
Yes, it was not easy to read those, at all. Just when I thought my skin was thick…
I’m a feminist and a huge breastfeeding advocate and I’ve also been told to use Benadryl on my son (though it never came to that, honestly). And not that any of those things are connected in real life, somehow they seem to be in these posts, when really it’s manners, decorum, and kindness (or lack thereof) that should be what’s at issue when people are awful.
I’m so sorry you got flamed like that. It’s weird sometimes being a big fan and supporter of yours and of TFB’s feminist message (and other outspoken lactivists). I feel put in the middle of something that isn’t even a fight I want to fight.
Regardless, I got your back, and all moms (no matter what their positions on any number of issues) should support each other in their efforts because we all know how fucking hard it is. I’ll continue to talk about my experiences and hope that my friends and readers might consider it for their own lives. And others who disagree with me can do the same. We don’t all have to mother and parent identically, we just have to love our kids and make sure they don’t grow up being beaten, harmed or neglected, and to not be reprobates. It’s kinda simple.
And then we should all braid each other’s hair and play with puppies and kittens under a rainbow somewhere.
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile recently posted..Should I really have just left him
You said it perfectly. I’ve been a Feminist Breeder reader/fan for a while but was turned on to Scary Mommy due to the CRAZINESS that ensued last week at the Mother Knows Best post and I’m seeing no problem with being a fan of both. People need to just knock this judgemental bullshit the fuck off!
Keep on keepin’ on Scary Mommy! Don’t let the extremists get to you, and don’t assume that all feminists/feminist breeder fans are extremists! :-)
Thanks! I just wrote more about it, too… couldn’t possibly fit it all in on the comments here!
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile recently posted..When feminist-breastfeeding blogs are bad words
I think we should ALL be right in the middle. Totally.
I’ve tried being on one side, vs the other…and switched back and forth so many times I’ve lost count. I think it’s far healthier to be in the middle. A happy medium, because if we were all the same the world would be so very boring. The same things holds true here on the internetz :-)
Amber recently posted..What Breastfeeding Wasn’t
God help the person who wrote this if I ever meet her in a dark alley:
“You have lost all right to breed. Please surrender your children, your ovaries, and get out of my gene pool.”
Same goes for the wench who suggested tubal liation. I’ll cut the bi#@h.
And you thought Patrick Swayze was mad when they put Baby in the corner?!
No one talks to my wife like that.
I just read this. It made me laugh.
Jill, you continually write about being a parent and a person, trying not to get too worked up in this anxious parenting society. You truly ARE scary!
(If CNN wanted to interview me for a parenting piece, and I thought it could catapult me to fame, I still don’t think I would do it. Any parenting article seems to be about what parents aren’t doing well, and it gets so darn annoying.)
Jana @ Attitude Adjustment recently posted..A Brief and Probably Cynical Analysis of Children’s Books
Anyone who does claim to be perfect is just fooling themselves. I find I make some parenting choice on a daily basis that I regretfully think about on my way to bed. In general, most parents know their kids far better than anyone else does so they should have the right to choose what works or doesn’t work for them.
Can I still stop by even though I occasionally mention breastfeeding on my blog? Because this breastfeeding mama is sometimes a little scary, too!
T Rex Mom recently posted..Just Because
I think that we have as many facets of ourselves online as we do in real life so I will always read Scary Mommy AND TFB. :)
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile recently posted..When feminist-breastfeeding blogs are bad words
I think breastfeeding is awesome. Amazing. Miraculous! I was (and am) devastated that I was unable to.
What I have a problem with is people telling me that I didn’t “try hard enough” or that I am a failure. So, in a word, yes. :)
Love this :-)
Amber recently posted..What Breastfeeding Wasn’t
Love your honest approach to motherhood! So sorry that you were slammed by the CNN site. My jaw dropped when I saw that there were almost 1000 comments on the interview. It seems that people enjoy a little controversy. I am sure that some of those who want to stir it up will be checking back in on your site in hopes of another round. I guess you can look on the bright side and think of all of the extra site traffic that you are generating!!!! I always enjoy stopping by your site…Thanks!
ZippyChix4 recently posted..Is Cruising Designed for Moms
That is the bright side. For sure!
I did post a comment on there about how I wouldn’t do that to my daughter and I clicked on this link and read your above rant. Please do not think that I was calling myself perfect or you imperfect. I have made a TON of mistakes as a single mother and would never intentionally pass judgment on anyone else. I have known since she was just a few months old that I was bi-polar, only back then it was manic depressive. I was also a victim of child abuse who made a promise when I found out I was pregnant that she would never know that kind of pain. As I said in my comment, when I got frustrated or she was pushing my buttons, I would send her to stay with someone in my family for a day or two. It wasn’t for “me time” although I did say that in my comment, it was to break the cycle of abuse as I also have a very bad very short temper. While I am not against discipline, I knew that if she stayed around me while I was getting angry, what I would have done would not be seen as discipline. I didn’t go into specifics in my comment on the report like I have here, but this is a place for mothers so I feel I can be more open. The other reason I would never have given her medicine is because as a child, I became addicted to benedryl. It was given to me by a doctor to help me sleep because I had terrible allergies. It helped me sleep so much my mom started giving it to me when I would have nightmares, which I had a lot. I knew when Alishia was born there were too many risks, so I chose not to use it on her. It was my choice based on what I knew. Not everyone knows the same things. I did not mention your quotes in my post and was not trying to bash you in any way. I didn’t realize when I made my post that you were taking crap from others or I would have worded it differently. I’m sorry that others have given you grief over the article and sincerely mean no disrespect to you or any other mother.
No offense taken at all. The comments that got to me were the purely mean ones. I stopped reading them a while ago, though. No good can come of it!
I had to write more about this because I feel awful that you got shat on like that.
(hug)
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile recently posted..When feminist-breastfeeding blogs are bad words
I found your blog through that ridiculous article too and I’m thrilled that I did – aren’t you just fabulous? Rest assured that any mothers with actual minds of their own will see beyond the hype.
Tammy recently posted..Ponderings
I’m really glad you did. A silver lining. :)
Oh my Jill. First the Christians and now the Perfect Mommies. Who are you going to offend next? LMAO
Love you Jill. This is what makes your blog so fun to read.
I guess we should all think twice before we talk to the media because they are going to twist it however they want it to look.
Missy recently posted..Monday Musings
Hmmmmm…. who does that leave me? Crap! :)
That article is what lead me to your blog and so far, I’ve only read a few of your back posts from earlier years but I am already hooked. I’m not even a mother yet – but my husband has approached me about us trying – and I am scared sh*tless. I’m 33 years old and am terrified of babies! But, in just the span of a half hour, you made me feel so much more courageous. I am already completely grateful to you for sharing your life with us. The article has obviously brought on a lot of ill will – but I hope that you will soon find that you are helping many more people than you are pissing off. And for those that you’ve pissed off, who gives a flying monkey’s ass. Eventually they will move on to their next “cause.” God bless ya!
Well, THAT makes me feel better. Thank you. :) And, before I had babies I was terrified of them too. You’ll love it. Most of the time.
Once again, i’m in your corner. let’s see, you gave your child something after consulting with their pediatrician. How irresponsible! (rolling my eyes) Clearly CNN wanted to sensationalize this story and did so at your expense.
I missed the guest post earlier this week that caused the breastfeeding debate and i’m glad one of the other comments prompted me to read it. It was a great post. One of the commenters actually claimed that formula is made with jet fuel? are you kidding me??
I can’t stand moms/women like that. let them judge me all they want. I don’t give a flying you know what.
Oh, yes, the jet fuel was my favorite. It’s *just* like that.
My head is reeling from the BFing comments and then this. I have so much to say, and yet… nothing at all.
Dear Society: BIG THUMBS DOWN.
Dear ScaryMommy: BIG THUMBS UP.
Julie recently posted..I think Shell Pass!
I breastfed all 10 of my kids till they were 2 years old, used cloth diapers, sewed their own clothes, ground their baby food from my organic garden, they never fought and always obeyed me…
umm, actually a little vodka on the gums helps with teething pain and a beer will help your milk come in!
Please don’t believe anything else I said.
jade recently posted..Cupcake Queen
Sending you some big ole hugs my friend!!!
Love ya!
Robyn
Robyn OHSH recently posted..5 Minute Floral Arrangement – Crepe Myrtles
As the mother of three children who travel frequently on airplanes, I have to say there are SO many self-righteous “perfect” parents. I cannot tell you how many grandparents NEVER had children as terribly behaved as MINE. I haven’t ever dosed my children with benadryl (mainly because I’m allergic and the pediatricians have instructed me not to) but I have done everything in my ever loving power to make sure my children don’t disrupt the self-righteous old crones on airplanes.
HONESTLY! If it’s not one thing, it’s another. In MY opinion, those who don’t vaccinate their children are MUCH MORE irresponsible than those who give their children a RECOMMENDED DOSE of OVER THE COUNTER medication!
Let the non-vaccinators come at me with full force….
Peaches recently posted..Cant Get You Out of My Head
ScaryMommy,
I found your blog through that ridiculous article, and I am hooked. I am the mother of a wonderful 9 year old who is brilliant and who drives me crazy! I am so tired of “public parenting” where everyone knows that your child’s less-than-perfect behavior is clearly your fault. On top of that, I teach, so I am also responsible for the disintegration of the entire society as a whole. It’s amazing that I’m still somewhat sane!
Thank you for creating a fun, real, cool fucking blog (yeah, I read the post about the swearing, too- what a joke!) You rock and I wish you lived next door!
I’m glad I’m the perfect mother…like the rest of you! I’ve never given my kids non-prescription medication on a trip, only because I fear them being wired. I was tempted a few times though in pure exhaustion, but the fear of them being even more hyper scared the crap out of me. And for the record, I’m one of those pro-choice breastfeeders. I had a nursing Nazi tell me as I was in the NICU with my first that if I didn’t breastfeed him, he would end up a shriveled bean or worse yet – die. Yeah. That’s what a hormonal first-time mom needs to hear.
For the record, I’ve also let my kids stay up until 10 PM on occasion, rewarded them with a chocolate chip cookie, watched as they colored themselves with a marker, laugh when my 5 year old tells fart and “your mom” jokes and let them drink Kool-Aid.
Angi B recently posted..Just A Normal Day
People are idiots and like to misconstrue things for their own benefit as you know.
At least you have a good attitude about it.
You kind of lost me at “feminist/breastfeeding blogs”. We/they aren’t all know it all holier than thou types. Tired of the sterotype.
I’m tired of the stereotype, too. Unfortunately, it was shoved in my face last week. Hence, the hostility.
oh no. I will go read it! Sorry people are such dumbasses.
Veronica recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- My Baby Is One Year Old
Girl, I’m scared to death of Benadryl, since my oldest daughter (now 15) did the same thing yours did — went totally ape. Yuck. I won’t give it to the Kennedy Kaboodle unless they get stung by a bee.
Now, melatonin, I have considered. Why? You try being up with twin tornadoes, who never sleep. You’d consider it, too, if you lived here.
How about everybody play nice, and do WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU? This might get rid of a lot of the finger pointing.
Hey, and you know it gave you gobs of page views. :)
I’m not going to give the reporter the pleasure of reading the article so I don’t know what’s up, but just wanted you to say this all sucks! We’ve all done things that in hindsight may not have been the best decision, but hell.. We are only human and can only do the best we can. And I don’t think I want to talk to any reporters soon.
ScrappinMichele recently posted..Giveaway Local Georgetown Cupcakes Bakes It Big On TLC DC Cupcakes
Whoa. People bashed you because you gave your kids Benadryl to get them sleepy for a plane ride? Um, hello? WHO DOESN’T DO THAT? It’s like… what moms do. And it’s not BAD for the kids, either.
We have to keep Benedryl around because Alexa has food allergies. We don’t always know what is effecting her, but she has eczema and it flares up whenever something’s amiss. If she’s particularly itchy we’ll dose her up.
We learned the hard way, that it DOES NOT make her tired. It doesn’t make her wired either. I think it makes her fucked up. HEH. But because she’s a freakin’ baby, she doesn’t realize that it could be fun, KIDDING! Anyway…if we have to give her any, we do it RIGHT BEFORE bedtime. That way she falls asleep before it hits her. Otherwise, she’s up for hours and in a pretty crappy mood.
It says right there on the label that it’s not for under 2 years old. I feel guilty every time we medicate. The docs in the ER told us to keep it on hand, as did our Pedi. But if you read anything online it always says not to give to small children. There’s so much conflicting advice out there, that even when you’re trying to use the drugs “correctly” you’re made to feel guilty.
There have been nights though when I really wished I drank hard liquor…because isn’t some scotch on the gums supposed to cure everything? LOL
Amber recently posted..What Breastfeeding Wasn’t
They covered this on the local (NYC) NBC news, showed a picture of your blog, and then sort of made it sound like you medicate your kids whenever you need a break. Ugh. I was watching w/my parents and clarified for them what you *actually* said/wrote. It was so annoying to see this being sensationalized.
Candice recently posted..The Mommy Brain- they dont explain
Did they really? Lovely. Thank you for having my back.
Wow. Just wow. I cannot believe that people would be that rude. And publically stupid. I hope the mother of that reporter is hanging her head in shame for rearing such a publicity whore. Especially when it is so easy to check the true facts. Hang in there. You do mums a huge favour. After a good chuckle at your blog, we’re saved from drinking the Benadrl ourselves…
That has got to be the largest bunch of bullshit I have ever read. I flew with my son — he was 9 months at the time — to SLC and back, not quite a 2 hour flight. I scheduled the flights to coincide with his naps, so fortunately, we didn’t need to resort to Benedryl, but I saw at LEAST five other kids on that plane looking more than naturally drowsy. And I saw at least two of the moms pull out their Benedryl to dose before we boarded. 99% of moms who say they never have are full of shit.
You are a GREAT mom. Screw CNN and their hyper liberal sensibilities, and all the hippy ass moms who have to judge and criticize to make their soapboxes seem a little bigger.
Mojo Mama recently posted..Fawk You Friday
It’s crazy to me all the things that are legal and accepted but benadryl is being vilified? if it’s so bad then it should be be prescription only.
then again a friend growing up became addicted to it at a young age (by 10) and now has substance abuse problems.
i am one of those hippies that eats all organic and no deodorant but i also believe in some harsh medicine from time to time. and i dope myself up on flights.
bitt recently posted..brews and BBQ
Man, people just love starting some bullshit, don’t they?
You are fabulous.
The end.
Zak recently posted..Second Verse- Same As The First
What an inflamatory piece of garbage! For 159 cases per year for the entire US (I’m assuming that’s where the study is based and not the entire world) this is an awfully big deal that they are making, especially since they’re comparing parents who gave their kids COCAINE alongside those who gave their kids approved OTC drugs like Benadryl. Also, where’s the line they draw for kids who go into anaphylactic shock (a possible side effect from a correct dosage of Benadryl). Their case citings were so extreme and yes I would call giving your kid an overdose of his behavioral meds bad parenting, but is that the same as giving her some tylenol before a round of shots at the doctor?
And while I hate medications and am untrusting of having them in the house due to expiration dates, recalls, bacterial build up that goes hand in hand with them, is giving your kid something to help her take the edge off so different from when I would shove turkey, milk and bananas at my daughter before bedtime for the sheer tryptophan induced quiet it produced? Lock me up!
Lori Z. recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Tahoe
I forgot to add that it made me think of this scene in the movie kindergarten cop:
[Crisp's mother is buying a heap of pediatric medication]
Cullen Crisp: The boy’s not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn’t hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp: That’s why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: Now, how can you argue with that?
Lori Z. recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Tahoe
People are SO judgey. Our grandparents used to put whiskey on our parents gums when they were teething. COME ONE!
OMG. THEY TOOK that FREAKING ARTICLE SOOOOOOOO out of context, it’s NOT EVEN funny. Did she “quote” things you never said? That’s ridiculous. OMG. I’m just soo pissed off HOW AND WHERE they mentioned you/your name, and in relation to the questions she asked.
I ALSO love that you tell people to not let the door hit them on the way out. I WANT MORE OF YOUR “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT”ness. How do you not take it personally? I need that more in my life, too.
I AM SOOO in sync with WHAT you say, do, parent, it’s ridic. And, I’ve given my kids Benadryl MANY MANY MANY times… because MY PEDIATRICIAN told me to!!! And, yes… on Planes, or long car rides. Again, MY PED told me it’s totally fine! (And it doesn’t backfire on me… so THERE ALL OF THOSE peeps who are perfect. BLAH to you!)
Kat @ TodaysCliche.com recently posted..Note 2 Self- “Shoo Fly- Don’t Bother Me”
I said it all, but she rearranged the order. Never did I say, “it’s no big deal! Not the end of the word!” After much pushing, I said, there is a big difference between habitually drugging your kids and giving them a dose to fly. That’s not the end of the world, I said.
And, I wish I had the answers. This one got me pretty personally. Hence the anger. :)
It must be such a burden for all those holier-than-thou parents to be so perfect everyday. Never raise their voice, never swat a butt, never do anything other parents may look askew at… I feel sorry for them. Meh!
Tara R. recently posted..Flying rats and Alka-Seltzer
I’m with ya, Scary. Love the post. We gave our son Benadryl once when he was an infant and it backfired on us, too.
Lori recently posted..new digs
GUILTY!!
Bailiff you may cuff the defendant at any time!
I drugged my 8 month old twins with Benadryl before a flight to Miami.
Joke was on me! Just made them extra cranky! And hubs and I had to hold them since we were cheap and didn’t buy them their own seats. Never did that again. they were suprisingly well behaved on the way back.
BUT I WILL ADMIT……..When one of boy has a cold….I secretly like to effect a good dose of Dimeatap has on their eyelids!
Does this make me a scary mommy?
Jennifer @ The Mommy Mambo recently posted..Buck Teeth Bangles and Chomper Chokers
BRAVO!!!!!! Standing ovation here!
I had an incident at a McDonald’s a few weeks ago with a Mom who claimed her daughter never lifted up her dresses and none of her 4 children had ever had tantrums. So I put on my smile and said, “YOU are the one! You’re the one with the perfect kids! I’ve been dying to meet you! The perfect Mother to the Perfect kids!” I also told her something about writing a book and contacting publishing companies. Ahem.
But thanks for your post. It helped me to read it today! I’m still reeling about that judgmental Mom.
That’s awesome!
And, no tantrums with 4 kids? Something tells me she’s a tad absent as a mother. No way can she be around and not witness tantrums.
Bean – you are an amazing mother and this was TOTALLY out of context. I’m skeptical of anyone whose pen name is “Madison Park.” Nor do I think you should listen to anyone who would talk things out with his stepkids with a leather strap on his lap. For some reason, I don’t think that picture would inspire any child to communicate open and honestly with their parents.
Thanks for sharing this story with us. Now, we know just how scary you are! Just kidding! We all make decisions for ourselves and our children that may or may not be ideal, but that’s the journey…
And yes, I have given my children OTC meds like Benedryl to calm them down after an extreme upset or a bad case of insomnia. It’s reaching for a little help when circumstances go beyond our ability to come to the rescue with regular mommy stuff.
I made a comment on an article about pregnancy on the newspaper “The Local” and was shocked when I was told that I was too old to have a baby at 42 and the commentator went on hitting me for no reason. I got so pissed off that I keep on answering. Then I decided that it was a waste of time.
I have never had problems with my daughter on planes because she is addicted to TV. So, I just let her watch all the cartoons and films until she got exhausted. As a Brazilian, I know that there is a very natural way to make your child relaxed: concentrated passion fruit juice. But it has to be natural (of course). No one can tell you are drugging your child. Another one is a medication against nausea and vomiting, whose collateral effect is sonolence: Dramin is the name in Brazil and here in Germany it is called Vomex. And that kills twoo birs with a stone. My doctor prescribed it to me when I was pregnant and wasn´t able to sleep.
First let me state that I have never or would never do this (I dont want the D.E.A. showing up at my door) but for years I have said that the doctors got it all wrong and they should be prescribing the Xanax to the kids and the Ritilin to the mommys!☺ And I was glad to see this post in my email this morning cause just last night after my very educated RN,BSN husband came home from work and I asked him,”How am I going to stay sane with our son (2yrs old) trying to take things apart and climbing on the chairs to get to the “poison” cabinet,etc…and my husbands response? BENEDRYL! You go ScaryMommy!
Well obviously you are trying to keep your child from learning necessary coping skills by medicating during a flight. Ha! NO! Just kidding!!!!! I am for the beer in a bottle thing! lol
There is a balance to all things. People are nuts. Especially the big media outlets, so out of touch with reality.
XOXO
Noel
http://www.pinkdivacafe.com
http://www.okcbloggirl.com
Oh and I just remembered something else my husband (who is ten years older than me-he is 40) told me a while back. He said that when he was a child and his mom worked in a dentist’s office she always brought home tons of Valium and back in those days he said that Valium was nicknamed “Mommy’s Little Helper”. Sounds good to me.☺
Do you know what I think of perfect parents? they are full of shit. As in, lying sacks of.
Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels recently posted..The making of a road trip
Reminds me of a story of an anesthesiologist who used to drug his children before flights. As the story goes he got into trouble when just prior to boarding his son asked not to be forced to take any “butt candy.”
Could be an urban legend, but I don’t know. Just happy that I am not the “hero” in this one.
Jack recently posted..She Is My Girl
I had the same experience with Benadryl… recommended by the dr- and my son was WIRED.
Screw the judgmental people— You’re un-perfect, just like all the rest of us… and you arent afraid to admit it which makes you awesome and is why we all love you! :)
Complicated Mama recently posted..11 year old threatens to Pop-A-Glock In Your Head & BAM! Another YouTube Sensation Is Born
So sometimes I get really sad when I read an amazing post of yours and there are already 153 comments before mine. Because I think, “Ok, she’s totally not going to read mine by this point.” :)
Anyway, I agree – drugging kids isn’t the way to go. But to each their own. I’ve never been in that situation (yet) so I won’t judge, but I can’t imagine the pressure of a mom being given the evil eye, someone complaining about her kids, or whatnot – and there is a temptation to do that.
It’s sad as women how we can’t seem to pull it together and help each other. So much judging. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. We judge, ruin someone’s day, and move on to our own imperfect lives – where we live in fear of someone judging us.
Vicious cycle.
Diana @Hormonal Imbalances recently posted..The Smell of Death – aka Stripping your Cloth Diapers
I’m totally reading your comment at 154. :) And, yes, it’s totally a vicious cycle. It’s no good for anyone.
I’ve done the Benadryl thing and swear by it for flying. My thought is that it’s a whole lot better than asking the doc for Xanax for my kids (what kind of horrible mom would I be then?).
You know, to each their own. My kids and my parenting techniques are far from perfect, but my kids are good kids. They’ll make bad decisions, but that’s how we all learn. We don’t learn from being perfect, we learn from poor choices and natural consequences.
All those perfect parents living in their perfect world can kiss my ass.
Shawntel recently posted..My First Unofficial Book Review
I am so done with reading the ranting self-righteous comments from other people about these types of issues. I do not give a crap about whether parents breastfeed, formula-feed, co-sleep, CIO, give their kids Benadryl to get through a long flight or…whatever. The controversial list is endless. The only time I get angry about a parenting style is when a child is emotionally or physically mistreated, neglected, or abused. Or when children are living without clean water or fresh food. Or when they can’t get vaccines or medication that can save their lives. Why don’t we all bottle up all our energy and anger for that stuff? The world might be much easier place to raise our children if we all diverted our focus on the issues that REALLY matter to raising healthy and well-adjusted children.
Sending you *hugs* and support, Jill
-Aimee.
Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog recently posted..On All The Things That Make Me Beautiful – Giveaway Winner!
I found your blog via the aforementioned article.
I was terrified to give my no-thanks-i-don’t-need-a-nap-think-i’ll-stay-up-all-the-time daughter any benadryl for sleeping or anything else, including the allergic reaction she had. But boy, there are days when I want to take a sip of the magic juice!
Perfect moms? Uh, those are just moms who love their kids and work hard trying to do right by them. The rest of the self-righteous idiots can suck it.
hugs,
Caryl
It saddens me that people choose to express their opposing views in a mean way. The best chance you ever have of changing anyone’s opinion or getting them to rethink something is not by bashing them but by being kind and showing them why they might have wanted to consider a different option.
If you were giving a child medication every night to get them to sleep, then maybe it would be worthy of going to a daughter and discussing the underlying problems.
To give benadryl on a flight, no offense to anyone who thinks otherwise but big deal. Try taking a 13 hour flight with screaming kids (especially when they are not yours)
Jill-the mistake you made? Not trying it out at home one evening before giving to her on the plane. Any new medication should not be given in new situations precisely because of the possible side effects. I was lucky with my daughter when I tried it out at home before a flight because i literally learned where the phrase climbing the walls came from. She was trying to walk over up the walls.
Is she any worse off now because of it 8 years later? NOOOOO!
Susie @newdaynewlesson recently posted..The Best Gift Is A Thought Out One
Meant going to a doctor not a daughter lol.
Susie @newdaynewlesson recently posted..The Best Gift Is A Thought Out One
I can’t see how giving your child a little benadryl (especially on a doctor’s recommendation) is worse for your child than letting them become miserable and hysterical on a plane. Flying is often uncomfortable for adults, but at least we understand why our legs feel swollen and our ears feel inflamed. For a child, it’s horrifying to feel so awful, have no idea why you can’t get up to walk around AND have no idea where you are, all while being surrounded by sometimes very grumpy strangers. You were trying to do yourself, your child and the other passengers a favour.
Anyone who thinks differently is completely mad or never thought that the screaming child on the plane is more unhappy about the situation than they are.
Amanda recently posted..Happy Late Birthday- Michael Anthony!
A litte late…but I tweeted this. When I read that article, I was immediately struck by how your quotes were rather contradictory and assumed that they were being taken out of context. So even if I didn’t know you, I would have though, “wait – what is her position on this again?” I’m so sorry that you were miquoted and even sorrier that yet again people were so willing to judge before checking their facts. If you feel strongly enough about something to bash someone over it, maybe talk to them first. What ever happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? Especially when you’re only hearing sound bytes. Just an excuse to get mad – I say.
Kate Coveny Hood recently posted..My Childhood in Pictures
This post rocks. Personally, I think that “perfect” is totally boring!! And yes, I’ve given my kid Benadryl before as an alternative to him being up allergies all night so that BOTH of us get some sleep. Call the cops.
The Mommyologist recently posted..The Potty Dance
Hopefully the amount of “FUCK THEM” comments here lets you know that there’s shitloads of people out there who think JUST LIKE YOU
Don’t let the bastards get you down, awesome lady!!
x
jenny talia recently posted..the crew
There are much more important things in the world for people to focus on, like Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan. (:
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..Gratitude- A List of 10 Blessings in the Face of a Challenge
People are so judgey! How annoying.
Between this and bloggy bootcamp the one lesson I have learned is be careful what you say to reporters. You never know what kind of spin they can take with your words.
We both know we are good parents. Honestly the people who think they are perfect really aren’t and have their own demons they need to face.
I guess you’ve made it “big” in blogging but I bet this isn’t the first controversy you’ve had to deal with ;-)
Michelle recently posted..Summer Road Trip – Part 1 Colonial Williamsburg
No matter how hard I try… I just don’t shit rainbows. I guess that’s why I have a disclaimer on my faith-based blog… to warn others of my snark and sarcasm… because face it… I am far from perfect.
And I am so glad (and utterly jealous) of your exposure (good and bad, he he).
You effortlessly spill love for your children on this blog… without the rose colored glasses… and that’s why I come back.
I’m going to bed now…. home from a night shift… and will enjoy my ambien :) Benadryl is for babies.
Taking Heart recently posted..I Know This Much
I so wish I could be HALF as perfect as the commenters (read: robots or assholes, whichever fits your mood) on CNN’s website. Alas, I will never achieve such a level of perfection in my life, parenting or otherwise… I am, what I like to call, HUMAN.
Lauren recently posted..Im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!
A little benadryl never hurt anyone. My pediatrician also told me to give my triplets a little prior to a cross country flight. Worked like a charm and I had a plane full of happy people!
People should mind their own fricking business and deal with their own issues instead of getting all into everyone else’s. Our shit all stinks, no matter how much you might think it doesn’t….no one has parented your kids except you, and no one has parented mine except me. You, and your blog, are awesome.
Jenn of the Roof recently posted..Who ARE you
Ok.
I am simultaneously pissed and excited.
Pissed because the level of context checked at the door in this article is criminal. And, the comments from the knuckle draggers are insulting and disgusting.
But, I am also excited. Excited because LOOK.
All these people. Some new readers, some old. They get you. They may have come here to lay into you, but they read you and they get you.
And now? They love you.
Just like me.
Brittany recently posted..Project Mom Project me
Perfect people are SO boring. And perfection doesn’t exist so they’re just peddling a crock of shit anyways. What I appreciate – and I’m obviously not alone – are the stories from the parenting trenches. The tales of war from stalwart soldiering moms (and dads). Which is why I come to visit you, Jill. So don’t you dare get ‘perfect’ on me!
Hey Jill. I think you’re awesome. Screw everyone else b/c my opinion is the only one that counts anyway. My toddler has managed to get her own feces into her mouth on at least three seperate occasions and she’s still standing. Benadryl is the least of my concerns. :p Stay strong. Ignore the haters.
Yay for Jeff!
This is what parenthood is? I’m never having sex again- this all sounds like a disaster. The whole damn thing.
Don’t let those idiots get you down. You are an amazing person and a GREAT Mom! I am beyond proud of you and all that you do!
I’m guessing the doctor forgot to tell you that Benadryl sometimes has the opposite affect on kids and makes them hyper? You poor thing.
And I haven’t met a perfect parent yet. Those that think they are perfect? They are screwing up their kids, don’t you worry. Their kids are going to grow up clingy and neurotic. My kids have grown up eating dirt, wearing no pants, and a healthy dose of TV and some junk food thrown in. And you know what? They are well adjusted, happy and healthy kids.
B recently posted..Best of the week
Holy cheese and rice. Giving a kid benedryl for a plane trip is nothing like drugging them to nap and go to bed daily with it. Screw them.
Jayme recently posted..Photography Fail -
Just read the CNN article.
I need to stop reading the comments section. Makes me sad to see so many self righteous bitches out there.
Also, I have given my kid Benadryl when he is having trouble with his molars coming in. And guess what? He sleeps and is not in pain, instead of up all night screaming. Such abuse.
You rock.
Allison Zapata recently posted..Me and Mine has moved to a new address! Won’t you please come with There will be food and drinks Okay- not really- but it will still be lots of fun!
My doctor has never told me to give my kids Benedryl to make them sleep…I’ve only heard of people in daycares doing that…and then it backfires and the kid dies (seriously…this happened like 3 times in 3 months in my hometown).
My doctor HAS recommended baby tylenol/motrin etc for after shots, or when there is a temp, but no other symptoms. Although…when it comes to fevers, I tend to let them go for a bit…I just watch it & if starts creeping up too quickly, I start giving the fever reducers nearer to bedtime, since my kids’ temps tend to jump at night anyway.
Then there is a time or two when my kids are awfully cranky and complain about everything, and it makes me wonder if they have a headache or something. I do a half-dose of kiddy tylenol…If they seem to improve, I finish the dose.
I have only given benedryl when it seems like my child is actually having an allergy problem. I don’t like them for off-label use.
Maegan recently posted..A Day to Remember
…Oh, and in regard to the article…I do think it’s not a good idea to give your kids a drug (OTC or otherwise) to get them to take a nap or calm down. Unless that is the specific PURPOSE of the drug. Benedryl is for allergies. Not restlessness.
Like I mentioned before…there was a rash of deaths in my hometown a few years ago. And then lo & behold…infant medicines of all kind are suddenly “bad” for babies. Yeah…when you dose kids who aren’t sick/or are using too much to make them sleep…It IS bad for babies! I guess to call it abuse, I’d have to see the specific circumstances. …To make my kid sleep on a plane…I’d say that’s borderline, but clearly SM learned from that situation, and her toddler was unharmed afterwards. Now, if her child had actually had a dangerous reaction (become unconscious or something) I’d feel like an abuse charge would be appropriate. I think of it like alcohol. No one really NEEDS it…It’s fun to drink…but there is certainly a “line” for abuse. And everyone’s line is going to be drawn differently.
I had to have a non-family babysitter ONCE when my oldest was little…I hid all the OTC meds at my mom’s house.
Maegan recently posted..A Day to Remember
Wow. Hiding all of the OTC medicines from the “non family sitter”? So if your child had a high fever and started seizing because the sitter couldnt find the advil, now THATS FREAKIN ABUSE! You dont belong on this blog site. Go to the perfect-parent blog site and say hi to all the jackholes there for me.
Like I said (twice, actually) there was a rash of deaths in my hometown when my child was an infant that upset & worried me. All the instances were when a care provider overdosed a child with cough /cold medicine. My mother’s house was 5 houses away. If my baby got a fever (which a sitter might not even noticed right away), and called me…then I would have sent my mother over to handle it anyway. My mother couldn’t watch my child that night b/c of a social gathering she was having at her home…but certainly wouldn’t hesitate to go help my feverish child.
And you seem pretty jackhole yourself there. So..HI.
I’m also glad to see that you’re so very unjudgemental about where *I* belong. Nice. :)
Maegan recently posted..A Day to Remember
I am SO beyond a jackhole. I am a downright bitchy cunt. ☺ I guess that I was doing exactly what I swear that I never do (judge) to you. You also have every right to parent your kids in your own way. I apologize. I am glad you responded though cause it lead me to your blog page and I just read the one A Walk Through The Darkenss of Chronic Pain and Depression and it made me feel a little better. I always think that I am all alone in my depression and pain and sadness that I struggle daily with and the poems made me feel nice. Thanks! ☺
I’m glad that blog helped. :)
Maegan recently posted..A Day to Remember
Wow, they really twisted your words. Don’t listen to what those judgement commenters are writing about you, you know the real story behind what you did.
Sara @ Tedious Life recently posted..All fun and games until a kid poops in the pool
As usual people go overboard, conveniently forgetting the part where it says “on my doctor’s recommendation”. Sure we all joke about wishing we could drug our kids to get a break but how many of us really do it? Like you said, let’s not be the first to judge.
We’ve all been pushed to the breaking point at some time or other with our kids. How many of those with colicky, non stop crying babies and desperately sleep deprived come close to shaking their child? Few would admit it but I bet the number is high. If your doctor said give the baby a teensy bit of benadryl so you could restore your sanity and be a better parent, wouldn’t you want to jump at the opportunity.
Makes me wonder if the author of that article has children.
zeemaid recently posted..Still feeling resentful
I have had a Mommy crush on your blog for ages now, but this, this was the final straw, I am now ENTIRELY in love :) Thanks for being proud to be imperfect, it gives all of us ashamed and harried mothers who kick their own asses for “Not being June Cleaver” something to aspire to
I am not going to deny the fact that I have medicated my children in the past to benefit me (and them as well). Sometimes it is just necessary and until you are in such a situation with children of your own, you can’t judge me.
blackhuff recently posted..Family reading your blog
To start with if you are passing judgment on anyone first look in a mirror. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. As for the medicating children, a little benadryl never hurt anyone could someone please go with me to my nephews grave and then tell me that. He isn’t here because his mother heard that a little benadryl never hurt anyone. Well it hurt him and lots of other children too. I don’t blame anyone that wants to medicate their child that is their choice. the only thing I am saying is don’t go around tell people that nothing can go wrong with doing this because it can, and when it does go wrong 9 chance out of 10 it is an innocent child that gets hurt. My nephew was 11 months old and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish he was here and that will never happen because of a little benadryl so please just stop. It does hurt and when it does it hurts more then the child that may or may not have lost his life because of it.
As for the whole breastfeeding drama, I breastfed my sons until they were a year old and my daughter until she was a month old because I wasn’t producing enough milk. My daughter isn’t any smart then my sons nor are my sons any smarter then my daughter. It is a preference and nothing more.
Oh, I so wish I had found this site sooner. I once was also advised by a doctor to give Benedryl to my now teenager when she was about five or six, because the medicine she was taking kept her from going to sleep at a decent hour. Like you, I discovered that sometimes Benedryl has the opposite effect – and we were up until five in the morning 0-0 Lesson learned :)
You are awesome, which is why I love your blog! You tell it as you see it w/o the fluff!
I have been told to give my kid Benedryl before flying too and after reading this, I’m glad I didn’t. Trust me, the last thing I need is a wired toddler to push my buttons. Hell, I think I’ll take the Benedryl and have a few cocktails then I can cope! :)
Jessica recently posted..Fitting Room Mirrors
In my special needs world, there are lots of kids medicated for various reasons. Anxiety, extreme behaviors like self-injurious, OCD etc. I won’t judge parents for that. I can’t because their kid, their choices. Also, that is different from OTC meds. Our son is very, very active but we are choosing the bio-medical (diet and natural supplements) route with him. Benadryl would also wire him and I would kick myself in the ass if I tried it.
Kerry recently posted..They Will Be Back
WORD………..I just stumbled upon this website as I was trying to figure out if I could drug my kids before I fly, oddly enough. Just wanted to tell you that I couldn’t have said it better myself :)