Men are from Mars

Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy

Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, Ben, and Evan) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.
Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy

@scarymommy

NYT bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies). Fond of curse words, sarcasm and Diet Coke.
@ecotwin1 Will do, thanks! - 3 hours ago
Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy

Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)

Jeff and I were discussing how different the big kids are with the two of us (innocent angels for him and raging terrors for me.) Since he’s been traveling so much for work, he’s really taken the role of good time dad. On the weekends, he’s the one who takes them to the zoo, to the mall for new toys, the park, the children’s museum… Every activity seems to culminate with cupcakes or ice cream.

He’s become good cop to my evil, disciplining, teeth scrubbing, well-balanced meal enforcing bitch. He’s relishing in his role. Frustrated, I fight back. You may be the fun parent, I say, but when they’re hurt or wake up with a nightmare at 3 am who do they call for? Me, I gloat. So there.

So? says Jeff. Who wants to get up at 3 o’clock in the morning with crying kids? Go ahead. I’ll sleep.

That, I tell him, is the difference between a father and a mother.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Tam July 27, 2008 at 8:05 am

Wow you just wrote the story of my life! SO SO true!

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2 Jessica July 27, 2008 at 8:17 am

That’s me!! COMPLETELY b.c Hubby aka Cookie aka Chris works the graveyard shift.

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3 Renee July 27, 2008 at 11:46 am

damn technology, I don’t know why it won’t show up! I’ve hit return to make it fit, so you might have to cut and paste twice. Or ignore this all together…

my-son-prefers-his-dad/

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4 CityStreams July 27, 2008 at 8:48 am

He couldn’t be the fun parent if you weren’t there to be the stable one. Somebody has to keep everything from falling apart.

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5 noble pig July 27, 2008 at 8:58 am

Ha! Oh it’s all so true isn’t it. They never call for Daddy just Mommy as he snores away..grrrr.

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6 Nichole and Scott July 27, 2008 at 9:24 am

Oh, my! How many times have I had this same conversation with my husband? It doesn’t seem fair that he’s “the Fun one” when I’m home entertaining her all day every day. What are you going to do. I too have said, “Well, I’m the one she calls for when she’s hurt or scared.” My husband took the same stance as your husband. I’m happy that she loves him and wants him to be her fun time guy. Otherwise I’d never be able to blog. HA HA HAHA HA! Thanks for stopping back by my blog. Wish I could share some of the strawberries with you.

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7 Renee July 27, 2008 at 11:43 am

Last week Rachael Ray did a whole segment on this parental split with a therapist talking about how to balance the role.

I don’t know what was said, since I Hate watching Rachael Ray (not even sure why it was on…) and I don’t have to worry about that issue, what with no kids and all.

I just dug it up for you. The segment was called “My son prefers his dad,” and I only stuck around long enough to see what it was because of you Jill!

Here’s the link:
http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/my-son-prefers-his-dad/

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8 Renee July 27, 2008 at 11:44 am

Oops – doesn’t look like the whole link showed up, so I’m trying again.
Hope this works!
http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/my-son-prefers-his-dad/

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9 Texan Mama July 27, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Well said!! My husband is willing to do the 3 am thing, but it’s more work to get him to wake up than it is to just go take care of the kid myself!

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10 Scary Mommy July 27, 2008 at 5:17 pm

It would be nice to be be the good guy just once in a while. But if they cried out for Daddy in the middle of the night I’d be devastated, so I guess it’s ok.

Thanks, Renee for the link. Too funny!!!

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11 Anonymous July 28, 2008 at 5:17 am

Well, you tell Jeff that in 10 years when they’re allowed 1 phone call from jail for bail money at 2am, I would totally call the “fun parent’s” cell phone:)
Dawn

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12 jess July 28, 2008 at 6:24 am

I love the picture. And Dawn makes an excellent point!! Payback’s a bitch.

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13 Half-Past Kissin' Time July 29, 2008 at 7:01 am

Totally true! Fortunately, my husband (although he does travel 25% of the time) is 100% partner when he’s home. I already see the positive impact it’s had on our kids to have two involved parents. It’s a great feeling, isn’t it?

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