Friends/Family - Scary Mommy

A Daddy's Letter

Manders15 — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:24:17 -0600

I just ran across this and wanted to share it

http://goodmenproject.com/families/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband-aklap/

BFF baby shower! Burn in HELL!

CarolineB — Fri, 31 May 2013 14:21:45 -0600

K, so I need to bitch about the full story before I can feel better apparently. BFF is just about to pop, and this is her first baby. I was planning on throwing her a baby shower at my house tomorrow, and I went OVERBOARD! I made her a cake that would cost most people what they would pay me for a small wedding cake ($175ish) and this damn thing is beautiful. Really, I've completely out done myself on this one. I've got mountains of finger food and virgin margaritas all ready to be put together. I've made her a baby book, a blanket and many burp clothes. Moving on.

She had to go through years of hell and heart break to get this baby, so shes become pretty bitter about the whole baby issue. I talk about this in an older rant. So 3 weeks ago, I finally plucked up enough courage to tell her I was pregnant with my 4th, and as I predicted, she was very crabby about it. Acted like I was stealing her spot light. She actually said and I quote "I'm sorry i'm acting like this, but its hard for me to enjoy my pregnancy when I had to work so hard and everyone just gets pregnant like it's nothing."

OH MY GOD, WOMEN OF PLANET EARTH, STOP GETTING PREGNANT RIGHT NOW! JUST SO RACHAEL CAN ENJOY HER PREGNANCY!

No congrats from her or anything! None.

Anyway, I get over it and just blame her bitch state on being very pregnant and uncomfortable. A few weeks ago, she tells me she has been craving chocolate and salt really badly. So I come up with cake and virgin margaritas. This cake, Oh my god, this cake is bliss. It's a Rose water Chocolate amaretto cake, with rich fresh Raspberry truffle filling. and dark coco and hazel nut frosting.......pause for affect......I KNOW RIGHT!!!! Its is three tears and its just breathtaking. I even went out of my way to make a butt load of sugar flowers (purple and mint green) to put all over it. So she calls my today and says "Caroline I want to change the cake, I'm not really in the mood for chocolate anymore. I was wondering if you could do a poppy seed lemon cake?" and I say,"Rach, I've already done the cake. I wont have enough time to do another one before tomorrow. I could do some muffins if you'd like?" She. Goes. Batshit. "Oh my god, I can't even get the right cake on a day that is supposed to be about me and my baby. You can't do this one thing for me, you're so selfish blah blah blah blah!"

I'm fucking livid at this point. I yelled at her for a good 20 minutes about all the shit shes been pulling. About how she is never there when I need her, and then she just expects me to pop out of the fucking ground to be there for her if she has a problem. Well I'm done with this shit. I'm tired of going way out of my way to be there for a person that dose nothing for me. Not even a congrats on my baby. not a phone call to see if I'm doing ok on bed rest. not a shoulder to cry on, when hubby comes home black out drunk. NOTHING! So I wash my hands of you, you selfish bitch. Good luck find another place for your baby shower. My house is closed for biz! I'm going to eat this whole damn cake by my fucking self. AHHHHHHHHH!

........ok, I feel better...I think.

~X( ~X( ~X(

Giving birth and my mom

Whitley — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:37:41 -0600

Ok, first off, my mom is my best friend. She was the one that held my hand when I gave birth to DS3 and helped me pick out his name and all that. She has been there for me through so much. Now I am 5 weeks away until my due date and she wants to be with me in the delivery room again. This time, I want it to be just me and my husband. I told her that but she is still trying to guilt me a little because of her situation (long story short, she's had chromic back injury/pain for 5 yrs and my dad left her after 23 years for the wife of his newly paralyzed best friend (yeah he has turned into a piece of shit) and now she can't even buy groceries by he won't give her money). I do feel like this would be another wonderful experience for her in this dark time but my main concern is that my DH is the only one there. He will be the only one I want to touch me when I'm in labor and this experience is so much about him too. She keeps saying how Jeff isn't going to be able to handle it and how he's not strong enough. It's really starting to get to me. Like I said, I told her I want just DH when I'm in there. I also told her how during the early labor she could stay too but once it gets more intense she will have to go outside. Sorry if I'm repetitive but I'm just stuck between having the experience I want and giving her something I know she will appreciate forever. Anybody been in this situation? TIA

Need family advice.

OxiMOM — Sat, 08 Jun 2013 17:56:57 -0600

So I vent here a lot that my oldest bro goes on a lot of vacations ect but never visits me or my mother. It Hit me today I have never told him that this hurts.

He is on vacation again and the other day his gf was saying how he wants to spend time with his nephews.

I get it goes both ways but to be honest we can't afford to drive the 4 hours to and from ny to visit. Where as he has money for weekend and week long vacations.

How do I tell him hey please on a day off come visit for the afternoon to see your nephews and your sister and mother.

He knows he is welcome here I have invited him down many times and get oh we are planning to but they never do??

How do I tell him it hurts and makes me feel like crap when he never sees us without being a total bitch about it. I have tried the invites down. I don't want to attack or ill get told to grow up. When we move to ga I know my boys will likely never see him. :(

grumpy vent..

kittykisses80 — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:57:59 -0600

So my van breaks down.. the rod/axle something snapped off and the tire completely popped. My brother the mechanic sold it to me for $3500 last year after we got insurance money from our suv that got destroyed when a lanscaping vehicle reversed into us. So this van has had shit trouble in just the year we've owned it..grr. my brother is refusing to help fix it since he thinks i was bad mouthing him about this lemony vehicle. So nowmy van sits in a random parking lot. And I'm at a lose of what to do with it. I could scream. I'vedone enough crying over it. My whole paycheck is gone come Thursday and i get paid biweekly. This just blows. :-( back to work i go
Trying to figure out lifes mysteries... not sure if its bad luck or karma coming at me. But I refuse to let it beat me.

Just needed to vent it out

TheMomFactor — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 15:37:35 -0600

I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall EVERY SINGLE DAY with my kids. I can't wait until we have our own house and I can stop worrying about my kids breaking shit that I can't afford to replace. SO's family keeps saying to relax and let the kids play, run around, etc. Um, NO. I'm not hardwired to let my kids tear up someone else's house. I can't just relax. I'm going to have a head full of gray hair by the time this stay with his family is over, because I'm on edge all day. SO comes home just as stressed as I am, so I can't expect much relief when he's here, because he just gives me this look when the kids act up, like "aren't you going to do something about that?" SO's 14 yr old nephew was here over the weekend and while I know that teenage boys are pervs, I didn't know they were so pervy around the adult authority figures in their lives. Like me and his stepmom, the sis in law. Their other son is a few years younger, but he's also at that "I know everything" stage, not to mention the "I'm older than your kids, so I can tell them what to do" stage. Ah, NO. SO's other nephews, the grown ones around my age, drink and goof off like typical guys. No big deal, they're just like all the other guys my age. Pft.

I'm not saying I don't appreciate them inviting us into their home, because I do! And to help, we do dishes, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping...all kinds of things, just so we aren't a burden. But this gave my SO more time to NOT pick a place for us to go. We're looking at houses to buy now, which wasn't the plan for another 2 years or so. I'm so frustrated I could scream. My SO told me to take the summer off from school and enjoy myself. DOING WHAT? I have no car! His brother sleeps days and works nights. The sis in law works outside the home. The nephews? No. I could read, but I don't have my books here, and if I buy new ones, my SO will pout while pretending that nothing is wrong. Obviously, the library is out, what with no car. No public transport, we're outside city limits. I watch TV all day and play with the kids when it's not too hot outside.

Sorry, ladies, I know I've turned this into a complain-a-thon. I just don't feel like I can say any of this to SO, and what am I gonna do, complain to our incredibly gracious hosts? I'm not used to the almost constant stress and exhaustion that is coming with this situation, and I am so tired. :(

I didn't mean to rant this much. *sigh* Please don't rip me apart, I just needed to vent.

update on ghetto neighbors

Marionettevie — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 22:23:41 -0600

So today, i was sitting in my livingroom and i started smelling pot. no surprise there right!? so i just sit there hoping it will go away. and it gets worse. my door was closed and my a/c was on their door is less than ten feet from mine. my ear drums started burning. my ear drums burn when i smoke pot, especially chronic. so i know its not just my imagination. and thats how strong that shit was in my apartment. so i of course will call the cops!!! yeah yeah im anal but guys.... i didnt even have an epidural because i didnt want my son exposed to stuff! anyway the cops show up, knock on their door, they dont answer, they knock on the neighbors across from me door and asks her some stuff. she texts me and tells me the cop asked her if she could smell it and she told him no (dumb girl probably doesnt want karma or whatever because she smokes it too but i never smell it from her apt and she told me ONCE she smelled it) anyway the cop tells her that he has been out here 3 TIMES over the same issue and by the time he gets here he cant smell shit. i have only called TWICE. the other time it was our neighbors on the other side because he came to my husband and told me he could smell it andhe called. so i know that. anyway fastforward 4 hours later and i open my door because the sun was setting and i figured i could turn the a/c off and let some air in. and i hear them talking shit about me how i need to mind my own business and they dont understand why if i have a problem i dont tallk to them instead of calling the cops all the time. so she calls the manager of the place. the manager shows up talks to her a bit and she is all "i have medical problems i cant deal with the stress of the cops showing up, im not a snitch i dont call the cops on her when she leaves her son by himself (which btw has NEVER happened! except for throwing the trash out but whatever) and i dont call the cops when her son screams and doesnt let us sleep yadda yadda" so he comes and knocks on my door and asks me what the problem was. and i told him as i have told him before. the problem is i dont want my son smelling pot smoke. i can smell it, meaning he can smell it. i will call the cops every time i smell it. you and frank(the landowner) told me you cant get involved and to call the cops, so thats what i am doing. and she starts spouting her mouth off.. in a sinch she said all these phrases. Call the cops, i'll take a test and come out clean. you leave your son all alone. if you have a problem come knock on my door. worry about your son instead of everyone else. take care of your son dont you have anything better to do, clean yor apartment. dont talk about my daughter like that she pays rent. what do you care you dont pay my bills. why do you care what i do in my apartment mind your own business. you dont know me so stop making things up about me, im gonna take you to court and sue you for making shit up about me. im gonna call cps on you, i dont care if you have lived here for ten years i dont care im not leaving why should i leave? you just wait! call the cops then if you say i do illegal stuff. call them right now and i will take a test! why do you have to call the cops why cant you come tell me you have a problem. prove that i smoke! you dont have proof. and other crap that i cant even remember. the landowner frank over the phone told me that i need to stop calling the police that he is in debt so much money and that i am bad for business and if i cant hash it out with the neighbor myself like an adult then he wants me out. "i dont give a fuck yadda yadda" at that time ihad the neighbors yelling at me. frank yelling at me, and raymond trying to tell us both to calm down so i could hear what frank was saying but there were some profanities and telling me to basically come at him? wtf? lol! anyway so i end up telling her that i will be a fucking snitch as long as i am making sure no one is exposing my baby to illegal substances. so yeah call me anything you like i dont give a fuck and she starts saying in spanish that im a fucking wetback and i told her to look in the mirror bitch. so her daughter and her son in law show up and i can hear her outside making crap up that i called her this and that in spanish and i yelled "stop making shit up lair" and her daughter starts.. "stop hiding in your apartment, have the balls to come out here and say it to my face. " so i go open my door and stand out there and tell her that i will call the cops on her as long as i smell pot. and she is all "do you have proof its me?" and i said well not exactly but i'd think you as a soon to be mom would understand where i am coming from smeling pot all the time and they are all "stop talking abot my daughter" so i was like wtf. and that she has proof that i have left my baby alone! that i left him here when my inlaws where in town. and that i dont take care of him properly and she has videos of this and the is gonna call cps. and i told her go ahead, i have nothing to hide unlike you, when you pop that child will be taken away if the cops suspect illegal substances to be around it. and she goes on to tell me that i dont pay her rent, i should care that her door is open, im a bitch and ya know stupid arguments and then said "youre lucky im pregnant or i would have kicked your ass right now" i said yeah right and she goes. just wait and i said i will be waiting! you know where i live! then the neighbor called me because obviously she heard the commotion and asked me what happened and i was telling her then i called my husband and then i hear her griping again and i look outside and the manager is back. he gave us at the request of frank an eviction notice because "WE ARE BAD FOR BUSINESS CALLING THE COPS" we did not sign it, so he put a note on it saying "left on door" and he supposedly gave them one too because "he has to be equal to everyone". and i can hear the bitch talking shit, "they think because they are american they can do whatever they want" UM WHAT?! have you seen me?! i have a fucking nopal stuck to my damn forehead how fucking mexican i am! LMFAO. so yeah. here we are my husband is on the phone with his mother who owns several properties in IL to see what she says. tomorrow we are going to housing authority, and the police station to talk to the sgt like someone here told me to. among other stuff. you all know i have been bitching about trying to move out! and i told that to the landowner who then yelled at me "you said that last month, and you didnt do anything about it" and i told him that its kinda hard to go pay 1000 for a place, when we were paying 625 here,most utilities included. and he was like well i dont care!

i asked the guy who cleans the property and he told me he caught them once smoking pot in the laundry room. and he told the manager. so i KNOW he knows that we arent the only people that have witnessed and smelled shit! we will also be going to a free consultation with a lawyer probably tomorrow or wednesday :)
@French_mom @BellaBefana @PurpleFlowers @katz_meow @Lilbit and anyone else i forgot! sorry if i forgot you but coming from fb i dont know everyone name on here! sowy! :D

Shit Grandparents Say

mommydelirious — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:33:34 -0600

So I brush stuff off that the older generations critiques me on a lot of the time cause I believe we're not being assholes...we just know a lot more (gasp! Scientific advances?!?) than our parents and grandparents knew back in their mothering days about child rearing. Im not saying ALL their advice is without merit but you know...they have some notions.

So my DD2 still sleeps with a sookie. Only at night and nap times. We've tried to wean her off of it but its easier to just let her have it at this point and actually get a good nights sleep. I babysit at home and have kids literally coming and going at all hours...sometimes 5 30amish...sometimes leaving around 12Amish...The sookie is not my biggest worry. Sleep however is up there on my list of things Id like to do.

My grandmother: "Sarah just doesn't want to be bothered."

(you are correct Nanny)

My SIL's Mom on feeding her baby (who hadn't even had cereal yet.)

"Just give her some of your Kraft Dinner (mac and cheese) or at least let her lick it."

My grandmother when my DD was around 6 months.

*gives her sour cream*

My dad with my 6mth old neice.
*dips her sookie in coffee and then tries to give it to her*

And to the older generation...your baby is ALWAYS cold. Unless they're too hot.

I know some of you have to have better ones than these!

Whats some of the weird shit your parents/grandparents have said/done in regards to raising a baby?

douchebag!! ex rant

meandmy243 — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 23:53:33 -0600

So my ex and i have an agreement that anything.concerning medical stuff needs to be talked about before hand. so tomorrow ds has dental surgery with ds special needs this is a big thing cause it involves eating and blood sugar issues and fun stuff of the like.. so i call the ex to remind him and let him know whats going on.. the fucking douchebag is at the bar and is to concerned about his drinking buddies than he is of his kid. Btw hes at the bar getting drunk spending money that could be used on his kid.. but hey child support isnt important. fucker... why doesnt he just sign his rights over to me so he can go merrially along his fucking way df would adopt him in a heartbeat. sometimes i feel as if the wrong ex died... not that i wish death upon anyone its just that my other ex spent time with his kid. he may have been a drug addict but at least he went to all of ds14 school functions was around for ds14 and stayed near ds14.. because we both signed over third party custody (my parents have full custody i have my parental rights but they are minimal) and the stipulation of child support was if our incomes reached double my parent income we are to pay support basically my patents dont want child support, he didnt run away. but anyway that was years ago and ds gets death benefits for his dad. i am just pissed at my douchebag sperm donor asshole motherfucking ex.

Saying goodbye to a friend....

KittenButterFluff — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 18:24:40 -0600

I'm wondering if anyone has gone through anything similar to what I'm dealing with right now.

I have a friend who I've always considered my 'best' friend. We've known each other for over 10 years and have been through a lot together. We've sort of drifted away recently and I blame myself for a lot of it because she always seemed to like to go out and party but I usually opted out because I'm not really into that lifestyle anymore. She recently found out that she's pregnant and I've really been trying to make an effort to get our friendship back to where it used to be. Lately though, she's been blowing me off a lot and it really hurts. She's brushed off my concerns and I've been trying so hard to just be respectful and supportive of her.

Well she asked me awhile back to be part of her 'gender reveal' (w/ the cake and everything) and I was thrilled. I've really wanted to be a part of her pregnancy especially because she's talked about sending her new baby to me for daycare in the fall. So today I find out on facebook that she planned on doing the gender reveal tonight and I asked her to call me when she was on her lunch break today and she said she would...but never did. I literally just found out via facebook that she's having a boy, which I KNEW! I'm so happy for her but I feel so hurt that I had to find out on facebook, I didn't even get a text or anything :(

My fiancee says that I'm holding on to something that isn't there and I'm starting to believe him, even though when I mentioned this to her she said that she 'loved me like a sister' and that it was totally untrue. But her actions speak differently. I'm just feeling so sad right now. I'm genuinely so happy for her but I feel like her indifference towards me just isn't worth the heartache. I've actually been feeling like this for years but I guess this incident was just the last straw for me. I know that I'm probably holding on so tight bc she's literally like my only friend. Actually, my kids are my very best friends!

Anyway maybe I'm being ridiculous, I don't know...okay my pity party is over now lol

Heywire for Harassment

Vswan — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 10:48:46 -0600

Has anyone heard of the heywire app that people can download onto their cell phone and use as an anonymous number that cannot be called back?

A man has used this as an anonymous way to threaten, harrass and stalk my daughter via text and has even gone to the extent of popping her tires and smash her daughter's father's windshield. But the police say the only way to truly prove it's him if he admits it's him in one of the texts.

WTF? Why can't the police get a warrant to confiscate his phone or involve heywire and stop this guy? So at wits end and afraid how far this could escalate.

WTF MIL? ( need some of yalls awesome advice) besides knockin a bitch out.

deviltwinsmomma — Fri, 31 May 2013 18:25:39 -0600

ok heres what happened. my oldest dd had a talent show today which btw she did fucking fabulous . my mil was emailing me about coming into town to see the kids in the talent show I told her that only the oldest got picked to be in the talent show. after I told her that she stopped emailing me completely . understandable I guess my oldest isnt her "blood" that night she called to talk to my twins she was on speaker and asked my twins your mommy didnt sign up for the talent show? my twins told her no nana we weren't picked. the conversation ended there. didnt hear from her until today telling me she was coming down to see my witch sil kid sit the bench at a baseball game which isnt her "blood" either and talks all this mad mess about sil and her badass kid. and then had the fucking nerve to ask to pick up just the twins this weekend. im about ready to tell this bitch off. I haven't told dh about it because his answer would be just ignore her because witch sil has already dragged my mil through the dirt .and its only a matter of time before she does it again .WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO?

Fighting over f'ing crib sheets? REALLY?!?!

Bunny — Fri, 31 May 2013 06:48:13 -0600

So I opened my big, fat mouth on facebook earlier to a friend. So before I go into the story, I apologize for sounding like a total know it all bitch, really i'm sorry. This is her first baby.... that kinda comes into play on how my mind works, 1st baby vs 2nd baby.
I had commented on her status last week or something so I still get updates on it when someone else does. I saw that her sister in law had commented something like hey, i got some crib sheets and stuff for you!. Her reply? What theme? if they aren't monkeys i won't use them. sil replied back, uh stars and something else.... She replies with "well if not monkeys, i won't use them." and lists the colors they have to be. Me being me and having a big mouth tell her I promise you that when you're changing the bedding at 3am for the 3rd time that night because baby is sick ect, I PROMISE you that you won't be concerned that they don't match your walls.

Piss her off? YUP. went into this whole rant about how her things have to match and if she doesn't get what she wants from everyone she'll just go out and by it herself.
I know her, she is NOT ocd about matching, cleaning, ect. The least she could have done was tell her sil thank you. Seriously, When I have to change my kids bedding for like the 2nd or 3rd time in one night I don't give a shit what's on the sheets as long as they are clean. Right now my 1 year old daughter is sleeping on Cars bedding. Why? Because her regular sheets are in the wash because she dumped a cup of milk in her crib after knocking out the "no leak" guard on it. No leak my ass!

feel like i am losing a friend. bf = douche. help. update

stevienixxx — Sun, 26 May 2013 22:16:24 -0600

so if you look at the previous disussions i have posted you will see one from last summer about my dear friend, her boyfriend, and an awkward situation where we had to essentially uninvite him to our wedding due to the fact that my husband is a probation officer, her bf was/is on felony probation, and my dh was not comfortable with him being there with the amount of his coworkers, bosses, etc. that were attending or wedding. i only mention the felony part because its a huge difference between say, informal probation for a dui vs someone who my husband and his coworkers have to supervise and give piss tests to weekly... my friend was in the bridal party, and she and this guy had only been together for like a month. so he didnt come, feelings were hurt, but we managed to work through it. i was hopeful that the relationship wouldnt last because one, she is just an all around better person than him and two, he is pretty much a manboy douchebag.

but noo. lo and behold, literally the day after our wedding HE PROPOSED. and she accepted! i literally threw up in my mouth when she told me. they set the wedding for literally like 3 months later. then, due to her realizing what a douche he is, she called off the wedding like three weeks before it was supposed to happen.

i was thrilled. but i have never badmouthed him to her, or i guess told her what i think she should do (kick his ass to the curb). the past year, they have been on and off and seriously gotten engaged and unengaged like three times. a month ago, she told me she was 11 weeks pregnant. its a weird situation becauase i felt really hurt that she waited that long to tell me, i am an open book with her. she is one of my best friends (and coworkers) and was one of the first to know about my pregnancies.

now she is engaged to him, and i feel like we are drifting apart. this is the first time in like three years i havent been invited to her daughters bday party. i have invited her to everything in our family. it has been awkward though because of the vibes between my dh and her bf. i dont know, it sucks. i want to have a conversation with her about all of it but i feel like so much of my time is having hard conversations with people (social worker for a living) that i dont even want to deal with that in my personal life. ugh. any advice? my feelings are really hurt over this bday thing, which is dumb because a bday is not even about me. should i just let it go?

**edit: i dont think he is a douche because he is on probation, or has made miatakes with drugs in the past. i think he is a douche because he has a really fucking mean sense of humor, is insensitive bedroom-wise to her past hx of rape, expected her to pay for the entire wedding, involves her dd10 in drama and doesnt respect her as a parent, doesnt respect or try to understand her job, and acts like a fucking baby when he doesnt get his way.

pregnant!

Chicalatina — Tue, 28 May 2013 08:04:33 -0600

How often should I have sex to get pregnant? . I know it sound an stupid question, but I want a child, and I only have sex twice a month if I'm lucky. My DH has low sex drive and it is really frustrated.
I do want to get pragnat but it seems like the more I think about it, and the more I stressed about it , the less chances it is going to happen.

When do you get to call the shots regarding holidays? (some ranting)

Ellie — Fri, 24 May 2013 13:19:29 -0600

Context: DH and I are in our early 30s and married but with no kids (one on the way). We are both children of divorce, so we basically have 4 families between us + our own little home unit. We live 2+ hours from DH's family and 1 hour from mine.

DH's family (especially my MIL and SIL) do all of the deciding when it comes to celebrating holidays, as in when and where Easter dinner, Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, etc will be held. They are also incredibly self-centered and dramatic (as is his entire family - he is not in the least and I wonder how in the heck he made it out of that family...) and if we mention that we cannot make it for their set time or place, they take it as a personal affront to them. They may throw a fit. They make DH feel badly and we usually end up caving in or changing plans in order to attend. Obviously this bugs the crap out of me because they don't consider our plans nor the other 3 families that we also may make holiday plans with.

The idea that we absolutely must celebrate an event or holiday on the exact day seems ludicrous to me. DH's mom just made him feel like shit because we wouldn't come down and visit last Tuesday on her actual birthday and we instead told her we would come on the weekend when we have more time. She wanted us to drive 3+ hours (that's how long it is to drive to see her on a weeknight because of traffic) immediately after DH got off of work, to take her out to dinner. An hour later (after the dinner) we would have to drive home again. DH would be exhausted and I'm 8 months pregnant and very uncomfortable in a car for more than an hour. On the weekend the drive is shorter and we could make a day of it. But instead she sent him emails that went on and on about how depressed she is on this worst birthday... she posted on FBook that she wanted the day to end quickly, etc..

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that DH and I are adults with our own lives, etc. Why are we still at the mercy of his mother and sister? We figured it's because we don't have any kids. But it isn't this way with my parents or with my FIL. With my family, my mom may say that she's making a dinner for Easter on a certain date and if we're available she'd love for us to come - but the kicker is that if we say we can't, she doesn't throw a fit and make us feel bad. If I can't see her on Mother's Day, I make plans for an alternate date and send her flowers on the day of - and no complaints --- MIL demanded that we come back from our vacation two days early one year because it meant that we were away on actual Mother's Day!

I really hope that having this kid will give us some kind of leverage, but I'm not convinced. My MIL is really good at manipulating DH and using her depression and health to guilt him into things.

Hate my mil

Zeebia — Sun, 26 May 2013 04:36:56 -0600

I hate my mil so much that I could kill her, she has another dil in the same house as us and gives her more love and attention just because she is family! How selfish is that??? She always makes it like she's the innocent one! And to make this worse she actually says how she cares for the other dil more! My husband sympathises with me and understands but can't take a stand coz he's too scared to! And he can't move out atm as he's not earning much either !! I'm so screwed!!!
I made it clear to dh that if we don't move out then I will end up going back to my mums place...but it's so hard as we're tt. At the same time! Aggghhhh

GOLDEN GIRLS HOUSE - would you want to do that?

Gingersnap — Thu, 23 May 2013 11:12:01 -0600

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/05/22/183903991/Boomer-Housemates-Have-More-Fun

I rather liked dorm life during college, and sharing a house with friends after college.

Do you think you'd want to do something like this? Or something similar?

Fuck my life

Hartia — Mon, 20 May 2013 10:00:22 -0600

Everything is chaos right now. Back in September my mother was in a car accident, she was hit by a semi, fortunately she survived with a few broken bones. Due to potential brain damage and multiple medications I moved my family in to assist her, after finding out that my aunt was taking advantage of her. Since then she has gone through multiple surgeries, physical therapy, and psychological assistance. My aunt and I are no longer on speaking terms, mostly because she can't get over my moving in and not allowing her to take full charge, but we were never really close to begin with and I figure it will blow over eventually.

I had a baby boy in Jan, 2012, I am not working and the hubby is doing his best to guarantee an income. As a SAHM I am great a taking care of my LO, my house cleaning skills are definitely lacking though. I am currently running my mother to her doctor appointments, running to the laundry mat, and trying to socialize my LO, i.e going to the park, zoo, and other places to keep him busy.

A month ago my younger brother moved in, he just broke up with his psycho girlfriend. 2 weeks ago I found out I am pregnant again. We wanted to have another baby close to the other, so this is good news. We are in the middle of a bankruptcy, so we need money, I was promised compensation for helping my mother out, I've gotten nothing in all the months we've lived here, this is not why I moved in. I now have to tend to cleaning and cooking for one more person on top of trying to keep the insurance companies from screwing my mother over.

Now I'm pregnant and dealing with morning sickness all the time, I have a house to maintain, constant appointments to go to, paperwork to fill out, and difficult people to deal with. Mother's Day I tried to get the family together and I was rewarded with arguing and tears. Since the accident my mother has made leaps and bounds, she is capable of caring for herself and will likely be back to work in a few months. She smokes in the house and will not hesitate to light up right in front of me and my LO. She is lazy, will not help me around the house, even though I know for a fact that she is more than capable of doing so now. The septic tank is flooded, the air conditioning is broken, the washer is broken, my car is crap, and I'm the one who needs to take care all of a these problems. IT'S NOT MY HOUSE.

My brother tells me I am a horrible mother, and an abortion would be the best thing I could do for my current pregnancy. He won't give me any space and follows me around to harass me. My DH will not help me with this. He thinks I need to take care of it myself. On top of this the house goes into foreclosure in November and I don't have enough money to get my own place and no one is going to hire a pregnant woman. I don't trust anyone I know to watch my LO. I am sick all the time and am having a lot of trouble eating, working, and keeping up with my LO. I tried having a yard sale for my mother and got, not kidding $600, 2 days I worked by myself, no help from anyone, hauling things in and out of the house getting up early, pushing myself past my limitations. My compensation? $40.00!! Why bother. I buy groceries and everyone helps themselves to it. No one cares... and I have no where I can go to escape.

Yesterday I was all but crying on the couch in pain and my DH was yelling at me, telling me I need to do some work around the house and having taken a 3 hour nap was a waste of time. I'm trapped in a stressful situation, my DH hates his job, and I want to get as far away from these people as possible. All I want is to be with my DH and babies. I'm alone and upset all the time. Some one shoot me.

Sorry for the disorganized writing, but I can't think straight right now to care.

In laws!

maddmama — Fri, 17 May 2013 08:32:02 -0600

First let me say I love my in laws they'e the best. My mom n law is just wonderful! the thing is I feel left out I feel like they treat me and mine like rejects. I'm always there to help when they need it but they don't even answer my friendly text msgs.They go out to eat, to the movies, bowling and they never invite me or my kids I recently found out my newlywed brother n law invited all the kids in the family to his house but mine were not included I know everyone says this but my kids really are good kids. as you well know sometimes us Mom's need a girl's night out I always invite them but they never return the favor but they let it be known they had one. My SIL had a baby out of wedlock and they give her baby more attention then my baby that almost died during birth. I don't wanted all the attention for him but still a little wouldn't kill them. My husband says for me not to worry or care about it but it's hard for me not too. I'm asking to much?? :-<

I just can't win!

ajb78 — Fri, 17 May 2013 13:56:44 -0600

Earlier this week, my mom jumped all over me because she feels that I "don't include the extended family" in our lives! I tried to....kind of....DD had an awards ceremony at school at the exact time DS was having his preschool graduation at different schools 20 minutes away from each other. I already committed to DS's graduation because DD didn't tell me about the ceremony until 6:30 am the morning of. I called my mom at work to see if she could make it to her ceremony. She couldn't get out in time. I apologized to DD, she was ok with it, and went on with my day.
I posted pics of DS on FB, and my squidward-esque aunt makes an Eeyore post about how she would have liked to been told about either one of the kids' events. She works with my mom...it's not my fault she didn't tell her. Plus I didn't want her at DS's graduation. I don't like her much. So it turned into this big hissy-fitting issue....whatever.
I called my mom today and told her that we were raking the yard, so if anyone wanted to come watch, they were welcome to, and that I would hate to have anyone all butthurt and bent out of shape for not being included. I wasn't too surprised when she hung up on me....lol

What Does She Want?

RuralRebellion — Mon, 13 May 2013 14:08:56 -0600

Ok, this is probably going to be a little ranty.

Many years ago, I was good friends with this girl. At the time, she was quite large, and I was much thinner than I am now. Regardless, she was the type who had a chip on her shoulder, loved attention from men (even though she was married, to a man with money), and had a "mean girl" mentality. It was easy to overlook then, because it always seemed unfounded.

We lost touch, as many friends do, and she resurfaced with the introduction of FB probably close to 5 or 6 years back, shortly after I met my DH. She asked if she could borrow a pair of black angel wings I owned for Halloween, and when I received them back, I basically never heard from her again. At this point, she had lost ALL her weight, and I could tell it all went to her head. She had this increased sense of importance. She didn`t really have to do or say anything to make me feel small. And it was clear she only got back in touch with me to use those damn wings, even though we ended up going out to a bar together for the occasion (she knew I had them because one of the last times we went out together was for Halloween, where I wore them). We lost touch again, and eventually I removed her from my friends list, since she no longer talked to me.

Today, she adds me as a friend again. Immediately I think "but it's not Halloween". I begin to wonder what her motive is this time, because it seems this girl only talks to me when she needs me for something. She opens her conversation with me by telling me her and her husband are having a "trial" separation, and she's moving into a "smaller semi" for a while (so they're about to own 2 houses). Immediately, knowing how she used to be, I see this as her wanting to sleep with other men, and when she gets tired of it, she'll go back to him. She continues to tell me she is pursuing her Personal Trainer certification, as well as some holistic crap certification, and once again I can feel her bragging.

Anyway, ever since we lost touch the first time and she lost all her weight, she has made me feel small. She brags about it, and her money, and her big fancy house, and I have none of that, including having gained a lot of weight in that time myself. Even DH remembered how I described her, and is worried about what exactly her motive is for getting back in contact with me. I think she wants to use me as her project, which only makes me feel worse. Even if that's not the case, we have made a date for this Friday morning, to have a play date for our girls. And I just know she is going to go on and on about her money and weigh loss, and dreams of helping other people lose weight and whatever the fuck else, and I will have nothing to offer. As much as I want to lose weight, and have been making a recent effort to do so, I don't want to be anyone's project.

Even in the span of today, because I saw my Dr. today and made mention in my status of being prescribed a new med that might make me gain weight (Cymbalta, for my back finally, and it should also take care of my anxiety, hurray!), she is giving me "natural" remedy advice that I didn't ask for.

I don't think I accurately described this girl. She feeds off of other people's misery and misfortunes to make herself feel better. Which is why I'm so skeptical about her suddenly wanting to hang out. DH doesn't think I should bother, but on the other hand, I'm so damn lonely and desperate to hang out with a "friend", that I'm still going to give it a shot (if this new med kicks in before Friday and my anxiety doesn't make me chicken out).

I just don't know what I should do. I'm just not the type to say "no, I don't think that's a good idea" when someone suggests we get together, so the play date has been set. I guess I will just see what she has to say.

At least my DD is cuter than hers.

This was way longer than I intended it to be, sorry :|

Mothers Day Sucks (long and ranty). Edit: now contains water bomber & fire pics....lol

ajb78 — Sun, 12 May 2013 18:38:26 -0600

Mother's Day sucks. Not enough sleep while I was slumber partying with DD11 and her friends at a noisy hotel....get home, and asshole FIL shows up and causes a bunch of chaos. Suddenly the sirens start....a forest fire broke out a half mile away! We got to watch the spotter planes, the water bombers, cops, fire trucks, ambulances, search and rescue, it was so noisy! DH disappeared for over an hour "checking things out".(I did get some cool pics of the bombers)
When it was all over, I managed to doze off on the couch for a half hour. I was abruptly woken up and told that I really need to step it up around here and do something. I don't need to be lying around. Then I'm suppose to jump up and separate the kids from fighting while DH goes out and starts the grill. I apparently didn't jump fast enough, because he storms around the kitchen and says he'll make corn dogs for the kids. Ok whatever...they eat, he eats, I go to make my Mother's Day bowl of cereal, and DH starts bitching at me because I "slammed the cupboard again". OMFG!! I want to slam his damn head in the cupboard!! So I just walk away and go to my room. Then I hear DH arguing with DS about taking a shower, he's yelling, DS is crying....WTFever. I come back out and give DS his shower. Then I go clean the litter box, because DH doesn't want to. I got DS to bed, and DH disappears outside again! When do I get a chance to do anything?? Now he's on the phone with his dad....again...then he's going to call his mom. So maybe he'll STFU sometime soon so I can watch some fucking TV without his loud voice over the volume of the show!
I never got dinner, DD has been a brat today, DH is being a huge asshat, and DS gave me extra kisses today because he knew it was Mother's Day. Guess who my favorite is?
Wow! Once again....mothers day sucks!!!!

Son meeting his brother

PenguinsMomma — Thu, 09 May 2013 12:50:52 -0600

So, thissummer my son has a chance to meet his little brother. He has two brothers that he doesnt know about (his sperm donoris a busy man). My son is 3.5 his brother is 2.5. They both have extreme attachment issues. So my question is, know about their attachment issues should we get together for a playdate? Ds's brother has two other siblings from his mom so he understands what a brother is. Ds kinda does because my brother lives with usbut i dont know how to explain that they have different moms. Plus they probably wont see eachother for at least a yea after this meeting. So do we wait u til they are older and able to stay in touch on real level? Or do we chance them getting attached to eachother now without knowi g when they will see eachother agian?

Golden Boy (aka my brother) **update---so thankful for you

just_me — Sun, 05 May 2013 19:47:33 -0600

I've been caring for my parents for two months now. My sister was killed in an accident 12 years ago. My brother lives in a different state and is on the building/pit crew for a non wing sprint car that travels all over the US. While I was caring for my dad when mom had surgery and was diagnosed with lung cancer my brother was working. While my mom was being readmitted to the hospital with double pneumonia and sepsis my brother took his new girlfriend on vacation to florida. My dad turned blue (godawful dead blue) while we were leaving the hospital after visiting mom once. I thought I'd really let him die...and my brother was in florida. My dad of course recovered amd doesn't miss a day looking on the racing website and make sure everyone knows the status of my brothers day. He printed race schedules for everyone to take bome. I threw mine in the trash. Now my brother is coming home (possibly) at the end of may and bringing his girlfriend. Why now? Cause there are races within three hours of here and he's just stopping through. Wowee!!!! The golden boy returns home for less than 24 hours. Now I'm requested to clean up the spare bedroom for him. Ill do that...right after I cook your food, do the dishes, do the laundry, take you to the doctor, empty your poop and pee and give you shots and your meds oh and after i do everything at my house for my family. So happy the golden boy gets to come home.

Thanks for letting me rant. Signed--the ungolden girl...aka the loser who doesn't have a job and mooches off mom and dad--Michelle

Family drama, need to blow off some steam...

TheMomFactor — Fri, 03 May 2013 16:11:57 -0600

My SO is graduating a week from tomorrow. I planned TWO MONTHS in advance so I could go without a single kid. I planned with xh to take J and C and my mother to take B. I called them once a week to make sure that nothing had changed. Then a few days ago, my mother calls and says she's getting a hysterectomy on the Tuesday before graduation. Let me just say, SHE DOESN'T NEED A FUCKING HYSTERECTOMY!!! She isn't sick! She's had some abnormal paps, but she isn't in pain or anything, unless she's hiding something from me. And now, she's saying she can still keep B, but she can't lift him. Wtaf? He's 2! He likes to be picked up, and snuggled. Not to mention, he's always climbing on shit, so to get him down, she would have to lift him. So I called my sister. You know, my flesh and fucking blood, to ask if she'd be around to help mom. She said yes, she would be. Then she called my mom.
My mom called me about 15mins ago and starts yelling at me about dragging other people into it, how she can handle B, how I need to stop stressing out about nothing and how selfish I sound. IT'S A MAJOR FUCKING SURGERY. And she thinks she can handle a freaking 2 year old four days later? I'm not even worried about B, he'll be just fine, I was worried about HER over-exerting herself watching my wild-ass kid! And this is how I'm treated?? What the fuck?? Now I'm sitting here crying my fucking eyes out because my mom is fucking MEAN, and my sister is a snotty BITCH.
I can't take B to graduation with me, because if I do, I'll have to sit in the very back so we won't disrupt the proceedings. I want to be up there, able to see the love of my life get his diploma, because I'm fucking proud of him. We've been through some serious shit to get to this point! I want to see the result of all of that stress and hardwork. I freaking deserve it! And now I'm not willing to take my son to see that woman, because of how she just treated me, not to mention I don't know if she can handle it after her surgery. My sister is a fucking snot, so I don't want her near my kid.
I honestly can't believe this shit. Why do I fucking bother? I can't seem to do anything right with my family. I want my dad back. With him alive, I knew that SOMEONE didn't think I was a fuck up and appreciated the shit I did. With him dead, I feel like I lost my entire family.
Maybe I am selfish. But what is more selfish here? Wanting to go to graduation without my children, or planning an unnecessary surgery the week she promised to watch my kid? I hope we move to Kansas. I want to be as far away from my "family" as possible.

Really no friends

Tonka_tuffmum — Thu, 02 May 2013 16:41:59 -0600

In the last 3 years my life has moved in a very different direction to my friends, I met DH, had my 1yr DS moved an hour away, (I'm 21) and I just realised half the friends I had I don't like all that much anyways, now that I don't drink we have NOTHING in common, the other half aren't really interested in being around kids, (hey welcome to my world he's mine and even I need a god damn break at times) and that makes me not want to hang with them. The only person I have left Is MIL, she's great but I think there may be a conflict of interest when it comes to certain subjects (her son) lol I just want someone to drink coffee with!!!! Is that too much to ask? Someone female to keep me sane!!!!! I miss having friends :( are there any Australian Scary mommies ??????

Bedroom off limits?

MomofPresh — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:14:29 -0600

So, I have a difference of opinion and would appreciate feedback.

I grew up in a house where my parents bedroom was off limits. we didn't go in there unless explicitly told to do so. EVER. My grandparents rooms were equally their own private space.

DH's family is a little different. to be fair, their bedroom is just off the living area and has a bathroom that although isn't the only one, it's one that affords a bit more privacy than the 'hall bath' and where there are larger gatherings, sometimes a second toilet is needed. That said, they just leave their rooms as open as all get out. The whole family is like this.

We have a pretty decent sized house with the bedrooms upstairs. we have a hall bathroom on the main level and another at the top of the stairs, so the bathroom isn't an issue.

When babysitting DD, my MIL and SIL have both gone in my bedroom. I don't know why. There isn't any valid reason for it, but the door is closed when I leave and open when I get back. On one occasion, when SIL was staying the night, we came home and she was sleeping in our bed (which wasn't all that fresh, truth be told) She misunderstood that we were NOT going to be out all night.

I have such huge issues with this. We've swapped the knobs from our master bath and bedroom so we can lock the door when we leave (the 'key' is just on the upper jam, just in case)

Thoughts? I mean, I feel that this is my and DH's private space.

I've tried to talk to MIL about issues we've had in the past (She's a Marie Barone-alike) but whenever she hears something she doesn't want to she either completely ignores what i am saying or has a huge meltdown calling multiple family members, so I am much more passive aggressive than I'd prefer to be about this. It's not dissimilar when I've talked to SIL.

Big girl panties

Goddess — Sat, 04 May 2013 10:58:38 -0600

I did it! In so many ways!

Rolled into the whore's home town to watch ds ride his first bull! Thank gawd either she wasn't there or she stayed the fuck away!

Could shit to save my soul this kidding but now I'm scared to death I'm going to have ass explosion before I make the thirty minute drive back home.

Ds didn't make the whistle but did well for his first ride. Doing it again tomorrow. Was hoping he would fall off and decide that hurt but the hands were right there so he didn't actually hit the ground. Oh well. If it makes him happy, I'll fight a everything inside me to keep him from all the bs that goes along w it. I'll teach him to be the exception. Not the rule.

Now... Of to change out if the bug girl panties into some sexy ones. U gave a date tonight!!

Mom driving me crazy

catzfan — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 19:46:14 -0600

I desperately need help....I have tried and tried to set boundaries with my mother as an adult but I am out of ideas. I tell her how disrespected I feel, she makes light of it. I ask her politely not to interfere and I'm ungrateful. Demand boundaries, not matter how politely or respectfully or firmly and (not even making this up), she rushes to the ER with "chest pains," declaring herself to have sustained a "broken heart." I see her multiple times a week, ask for advice occasionally so I can't figure out WTF is going on. This most recent incident involves her calling my doctor to try and change an appt for me, managing to piss off everyone in the office in the process. I am horrified and hate to show my face in the office. I am about to treat her like an acquaintance and tell her only what she needs to know and nothing else.

Thoughts?