The Scary Mommy Community is a place to find support and camaraderie with amazing moms who love to help one another. We are scattered all around the world, of all different colors and sizes and lifestyles, united by a single thing: motherhood.

Please create a profile to post and for access to all of boards. It's quick and completely painless!

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it? **Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
Starving Yourself
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    Ive been seeing this a lot on the confessional. Don't know if its the same person or more than one. I just want them to know there are better ways to lose weight. Im not being judgemental. Im really not. I totally get that want and urge to be thin. Been struggling with it my whole life.  Im just scared for what these people are doing to their bodies. 

    Its only been the last 3yrs that Ive been really seriously trying.  Up until then its been me busting my ass at workouts only to 'reward' myself for those workouts.  -head shake-  Im still struggling not going to lie, Im no where near where I want to be.... But Im not giving up, and Im not going to starve myself.

    Cause the one thing I really have learned is starving yourself only helps short term.  Your body stores the fat, so those few times you DO eat, its stores everything. Sometimes you actually have to eat more to lose the weight. Strange but true.

    If you have the will power to starve yourself, you should be able to manage small healthy meals, a few times a day. 

    And I really dont mean to offend ro judge, I just am very passionate about this topic.

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,983Member
    I'm not the OC, but I can honestly say that is the ONLY way I can lose weight. Restrict my calories. I don't "starve", but pretty close to it. Once my stomach shrinks I can eat a tiny bit and still feel full. After a couple of months I am good to go. Then I slowly eat a bit more to maintain.
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    @CKLW  dont you feel tired?  I know there are days when life just gets so buys and I know I dont eat right/enough.  Good lord Im sooo tired, I notice it right away.  But then maybe it depends on activity level?  I workout 3 to 4 times a week(I try to) if I starved myself Id pass out for sure.

    I just think (and its my humble opinon) that there are better ways.  Maybe not faster.  But certianly safer.  I just worry for what it does to your body. And I know I know, its not MY body...but still...

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,983Member
    I don't really feel tired. Like I said, it seems to be the only way that works for me. It's really weird. If I diet the right way and exercise, it takes forever. Restricting calories just does it for me, and I don't gain it all back immediately. I don't "starve", it's like 500 calories a day and includes fruits and veggies and tons of water. The water fills me up, then my stomach shrinks and I'm good to go.
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    Like I said Im totally not judging anyone. Everyone is different, and so are peoples bodies. I just hate think someone is doing damage. Or thinking they arent good enough, that they need to starve themselves.. you know? 

    There is no 'poliet' way of asking..lol, but if I may how big are you? And how much weight are you losing at a time when you do this? 

    I like having my facts..

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,329Guest
    After my divorce I was basically starving myself. I would eat every other day, if that. My only calories were coming from vodka. I got down to just about 100 lbs (I'm 5'5") and the moment I pulled my shit together I gained weight at a rapid speed. To the OC's that are confessing this - don't do it! It may work short term but in the long run you will either have to starve yourself forever or have weight problems on and off forever.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,615Member
    Its certainly not my confession. If I dont eat, I become a two headed fucking monster! >:)
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 8,207Member
    Can someone PLEASE  talk me out of eating a cheeseburger for supper? I just can't think of a healthy alternative.
    See ya in another life, sister!
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    @Curious  eat the hamburger just dont' eat the bun!  load it with the good stuff, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers etc

    @momof2boys42, hehe, Me TOO

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 8,207Member
    There's an idea.
    See ya in another life, sister!
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,891Confessional Manager
    LOL @dreamer beat me to it, I had the same advice for you @curious. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,509
    I'm not sure of the content of these confessions, but perhaps the OC is already aware of the harm she's doing to her body? Maybe she has an eating disorder? If that's the case, it's not like flipping a switch. It's incredibly difficult to eat normally again.
    I remember back when I was struggling with it, it started out as a way to lose weight. I saw quick results, so I continued to starve (and binge/purge). I knew I was killing myself, but I could not stop. It wasn't even about weight anymore. I didn't want to be this grotesque skeleton anymore, but it had a hold on my life an I couldn't break the habits.
    Pshew! Far more dramatic than what you were looking for, I'm sure. @dreamer, I don't think you're being judgmental, just concerned. :) Just though I'd offer another POV.
    Get me a damn beer.
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    @notsohotmama  I dont mind a little drama. And I totally get the POV, but that was my point.  She may, know. In fact I think any normal healthy adult 'knows' but its a matter of do you care? 

    I was as you said, simply stating my concerns.  The only way to change a bad habit is to recognize you have it. And then you have to want to change it.   I just wanted the OC to know there are alternatives, and people willing to help/listen.

     

    What made you decide to stop?  Or have you? (I shouldnt assume you have)but I hope so..

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,509
    I think you're awesome for being concerned :)
    I wanted to stop. Badly. I couldn't do it on my own and I wouldn't do it for myself. I tried so many times and failed. Long story short, I got pregnant. My first baby saved my life. I did it for him and I never looked back.
    Get me a damn beer.
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,983Member
    @Dreamer, I'm a size 12. I vary between 150-165. Once I start creeping up and my pants get tight, that's when I start limiting the calories. I'm off on a medical leave, had back surgery in Jan, and Im getting back up there. I'm dreading it, but I'll have to start again before I go back to work or I won't fit in my damn pants!
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    aww, Thats amazing. addictions of any kind are hard. 

    My second reason for starting the thread, is I think the more information you have, the better it is to make decisions.  I dont get the starving. But then my issues is the opposite side of this. I can seem to stop eating. And Im not making light of it. I sometimes literally feel like I can not help it. I am one of those that wakes up at 2 or 3 am to eat. I hate it. And yet I find myself doing it every night.   So I am trying to understand what makes a person starve themselves. 

    Cause Im thinking of you can control yourself enough not to gorge, why not just eat sensably?  Thats my issue. Damn Reese's keep calling my name (now Im kidding.......................sorta)

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    @CKLW  ok, see thats what Im sorta getting at.  That Yoyo affect.  It works for a little bit, and then you got to do it again...and again...and again.... whats all that do to your body? 

    What I am trying to learn myself is that its not a diet...its a lifestyle...and to maintain. Once Ive lost what I need to.  And for me its not about 'weight' so much as inches. I really dont care how much I weigh as opposed to how I look

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,983Member
    I definitely agree it's not the healthiest, but that's what works for me. I'm getting older, almost 48, and it is true for me, the older you get, the harder it is to lose and maintain your weight.
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    @curious If I would've seen this last night I'd have told you to put bacon on the burger and eat it. Not helpful am I?

    I forget to eat - yeah, I know - or just am not hungry most of the time. I don't get tired, and I don't feel lightheaded. But, I have the nasty habit of munching on things in the evening - which is no good!
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,844Member
    I don't have time to eat and I don't eat much... not that I restrict my calories. I HATE water. And sometimes I can put some food down!
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • roserose
    Posts: 30Member
    I like to give the OC the benefit of the doubt.  Dieting can be hard!  Before I got pregnant, I did a lot of research into various fad diets and non-fad diets.  I've tried a thousand different things over the course of my not terribly long so far life...some things that worked and some things that didn't.  I learned that for most people, the lowest you should ever go is 1200 cal/day.  I was prob only eating about 2000/day...but I was maintaining.  So I cut my cals to about 1200-1500/day with a Sat free day...and sometimes...I seriously FELT like I was starving...but I wasn't.  I especially felt it after a big work out (exercise always makes me hungry!).  I did eventually get used to it.  My stomach shrank and it got easier.  Now I'm pregnant and in denial about how much I eat every day...but I'm hoping to go back to my 1200 cal/day diet while I am nursing to help kick the lbs off pretty quickly.  Cross my fingers!  I will probably start confessing about starving in a couple of months because nursing made me SUPER hungry, too!  But I am tired of this cycle of get pregnant, buy bigger pants.  

    Truly starving yourself is so bad!  Don't do it!  Anything less than 1200 cal, a doc will tell you is just going to mess up your metabolism.  Granted everyone is different...no judgments here, but I would strongly recommend discussing any diet plans with a doc and getting the all-clear there before moving forward.  We only get one body!
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,486Member
    handtowelLady said:

    After my divorce I was basically starving myself. I would eat every other day, if that. My only calories were coming from vodka. I got down to just about 100 lbs (I'm 5'5") and the moment I pulled my shit together I gained weight at a rapid speed. To the OC's that are confessing this - don't do it! It may work short term but in the long run you will either have to starve yourself forever or have weight problems on and off forever.



    Yep, same here. My diet consisted of red wine, advil and nicotine when my ex and I split up. Ill show you how fast I can lose the baby weight motherfucker! I've always been slim (other than the baby weight) but I got down to really unhealthy, yucky skinny. I was also constantly sick, irritable and exhausted. And drunk. It was no good. And it piled right back on when I got my shit together.

    I still forget to eat every now and then when I'm swamped with school. If I send the boy to bf's house so I can focus, it's pretty much guaranteed I won't eat. OR I'll eat chips and cookies.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member
    And I was the exact opposite. I was losing weight really good when we were together. Once we split I piled a bunch of it back on. Im a stress eater :((   Now Im trying to take it all off again.
    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,562Member
    @cklw Were you saying you cut 500 calories a day or that you only eat 500 calories a day?

    @dreamer I'm a sleep eater, so I understand what you mean about waking to to eat. I just don't wake up til I'm in the middle of it. I wonder if all the recent confessions have used the word starving in a exaggerate kind of way.
    deus ex machina
  • crystyncrystyn
    Posts: 29Member
    Definately eat the cheese burger.  Use a whole wheat bun, heavy on the lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions.  Bacon is way a-okay and double up on cheese.  I find that for me it's the crap carbs that kill me.  I switched to whole grains, not white flour stuff and dropped carbs where possible (used wraps instead of breads sometimes, tried zucchini lasagna and spaghetti squash spaghetti or whole wheat pastas), paired the ones I did eat with proteins and dairy and I dropped a ton of weight.  Enough to get pregnant, enough to keep the weight off while pregnant.
  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 830Member
    I'm not sure of the content of these confessions, but perhaps the OC is already aware of the harm she's doing to her body? Maybe she has an eating disorder? If that's the case, it's not like flipping a switch. It's incredibly difficult to eat normally again.
    I remember back when I was struggling with it, it started out as a way to lose weight. I saw quick results, so I continued to starve (and binge/purge). I knew I was killing myself, but I could not stop. It wasn't even about weight anymore. I didn't want to be this grotesque skeleton anymore, but it had a hold on my life an I couldn't break the habits.
    Pshew! Far more dramatic than what you were looking for, I'm sure. @dreamer, I don't think you're being judgmental, just concerned. :) Just though I'd offer another POV.


    This is what happened to me.  I gained 80 lbs with my first which put me well over 200 lbs.  I stayed like that for over 4 yrs.  After my second was born I actually started to lose weight.  Mainly cause I wasn't with my ex so I had the option of only eating when I was hungry.  

    Well....I started off my just eating right and using the small kids plates for my portions.  That was working fine but to me it wasn't good enough.  It turned into an obsession with me.  I would get on the scale every time I used the bathroom, right before AND right after I ate something.  If the numbers went up even an ounce I freaked.   I had a goal set and once I reached it I convinced myself a few more pounds wouldn't hurt.  Eventually I just stopped eating.  I smoked A LOT to curb the appetite and after awhile food was looked at as the enemy.  I would take one bite of something and feel like I gained 5 lbs.  

    When I saw someone that was smaller than me and weighed less I would give myself a new goal.  I HAD to weigh less than that person.  I spent too long as this horribly fat person living in jeans and over sized t-shirts for too long.  Now I was wearing short shorts, cute tank tops, heals and feeling great.  

    Honestly the ONLY reason I never ended up in a hospital and the ONLY reason I ate a bite here or there was because of my boys.  My oldest would ask me to eat with them and I couldn't say no so I would put just enough on my plate for a bite or two.   I knew what I was doing to my body and I was fully aware of the end result, but I also had the mindset that as long as I was eating a bite here and there I didn't really have a full blown problem.  I had the fear of leaving my boys without their mother.  I may have been selfish to starve myself to begin with but I am in no way selfish enough to leave my boys without a mother.  They are the only reason I'm still here.

    As some know I am 6 mo. preggo right now.  When I first found out I was terrified.  All that hard work and now it's gonna get ruined.  I eat now.  I've gained 32 lbs and it's been horrible to see the numbers go up with every appt. but this baby is far more important than numbers.  I know after I have her I'm gonna struggle with the same thing.  I know I'm gonna be obsessed with the numbers.  Dh refuses to let me have a scale in the house for that reason.  

    It was honestly nothing I intended.  I'm 32 years old and have been struggling with this since I was 30.  This is something teenagers deal with, No someone in their 30's.
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 830Member
    Oops, that first part didn't tag right.  Sorry @notsohotmomma
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,509
    >:D< @Zidasha. Though I'm so sorry you're struggling with this, it's nice to see someone who understands. It's an addiction, an obsession, a mental illness, and lots of denial. It's horrible. Eating, something so natural that lots of people do every day without a second thought, is a struggle. Though I don't purge anymore, my hunger cues are so screwed up that I have to ask to ask myself, "Am I really hungry or just doing this out of habit?" Restricting food is a big issue for me too.
    It always seems to start out innocently, but easily spirals out of control.
    Congrats on your baybay! She sounds like she has a very loving momma!
    Hugs again, momma. I am always here to listen if you EVER need it. I may need a shoulder to lean on too :)
    Get me a damn beer.
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,272Member

    @notsohotmamma and @Zidasha  Glad you two can maybe help each other out.  Let the OC know they weren't alone.  I totally get starving, restricing calories is "an addiction, an obsession, a mental illness, and lots of denial."  And I would think the OC knows what shes doing is dangerous. So far all the people Ive meet here seem smart and educated. But likely they either A)dont care, B)think it under control (and they may) C)are struggling to stop. 

    Just wanted to bring some awarness. I really hope no one is takin offense here.

    I think this thread is also good for those of us struggling on the opposite spectum.  Food is a bad addication..lol and you cant get away from it. We need it to live. The hard part is how much?

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
Add a Comment