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Resentful
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 996Member
    So the last few days I've been feeling so resentful towards my 2 nieces that are living with us. I know I shouldn't but I do. I feel like what's the use. They have a lot of problems.... Fighting, destructive, saying cruel things, purposely pooping their pants... I could go on. Some days (ok most days lately) I just want my life back. I feel like my kids are suffering. My daughter tells me she hates when they are here bc they are so mean. There mom is now living w my parents so they've been going on the weekends and my life is so peaceful for those 2 nights that I dread picking them up. I know this is awful but it's how I feel. I don't want to feel this way but this is so much harder than I imagined. How do I get over these negative feelings?
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 996Member
    Between 5 kids and all their appointments I really don't have the time for the luxury of a therapist :( I'm hoping this feeling passes and I'm just overwhelmed. This is just such a thankless job. While I know I'm doing the right thing it just really sucks. And to hear the nieces tell me they hate being here it just irritates me to no end. I understand they would rather be with their mom (what kid wouldn't) but I just feel like they think I'm the enemy and I'm just trying to help
  • Tattooed_SMTattooed_SM
    Posts: 131Member
    This may sound nosy but why are they staying with you and not their mom at your parent's house?
  • DovahkiinDovahkiin
    Posts: 866Member

    I truly understand. Really. My sister and her 5 boys moved in 5 and a half months ago, 2 weeks after we moved into our new house. My son is 7, and her boys younger then him. 6 boys under 7 makes for long days, and omg, the fighting, the whining, the everything. It'll send me batty, I swear! She's also pregnant (first girl!) so I try to do as much as I can. 

    I can't really offer much advice, except to focus on your end goal. For me, it's when they move out (that sounds super horrible, but I love them, really!). So I'll try to help them get a house, which is nigh on impossible in this bloody town, but hey.

    For you, I think it's when your sister is a long time clean and has proven herself worthy to take back the majority of the care of the girls? (That's just what I've guessed from your comments) What you are doing is amazing. You might think you're just doing what anyone else in your situation would do, but I know many who wouldn't :)

    When the girls are spending time with their mum, savour that time with your kids and hubby (which I'm sure you are doing). Use that time to try to alleviate their fears, and validate their feelings, and hopefully they'll be a little less stressed for a while?

    You're definitely entitled to feel resentful and I can sooooo relate. If you want someone to vent to, feel free to pm me :) Sorry this is so long :S  

    Stroke the furry wall
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 996Member
    @tattooed_sm. We have filed for custody of the girls bc my sister is battling addiction. She was homeless when we took the girls in. My parents are remodeling their house and it's not a safe place for kids plus my father doesn't have the patience to deal with it 24/7. I'm shocked they are even letting my sister stay their.... It was supposed to be just for a week but somehow she has been there long.

    @dovahkiin wow you must know exactly the insanity I put up with. We have 5 five and under. My twins are 5, niece1 is 5, niece 4 and then i also have a dd 2.5. The fighting, tattling...... Omg!!!!! Most days I think I'm going insane. Thank you for your advice and kind words. It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one going thru such a crazy situation.
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