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C-section moms vs. Vaginal moms
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Someone posted in the confessions that she was annoyed that women who have had c-sections say they are glad because their vaginas aren't messed up from having a vaginal birth and that she's happy to not have a fucked up scar on her belly. I can understand her annoyance about c-section moms saying that..I have never said that about my vagina. I couldn't care less. However, the "fucked up belly scar" comment really pissed me off.My scars are reminders that my babies are here and healthy and would be dead if they weren't born that way. All 3 of my kids were born by c-section...not by choice, but like I said, they wouldn't come out the other way so it had to be done. Not all women can have a vaginal birth. I'm not vain enough to be worried about scars on my belly. I'm more concerned about making sure my children were healthy and alive.So to all you c-section moms....saying things like that can be hurtful to moms who have had vaginal births and to all you vaginal birth moms....saying things about "fucked up belly scars" can be hurtful to us c-section moms......
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Hey, I've had one vaginally and one c-section. My vagina is just fine and my scar is BARELY noticeable!
Edit-my vagina is still as loose as it was before kids :pGet me a damn beer. -
My scars are noticeable only because I have 3 seperate scars and on top of that, the hysterectomy scar from last year. But, like I said..I don't give a crap about scars. And even though they are noticeable, they're not hideous or anything.
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Very well said! I have never said anything about either, but I've heard women who've had c-sections say the comment about messed up vaginas, and I've had 3 children and my vagaga is the same as its always been but I've had 3 easy births. I agree that the scar on you belly is a sign of how much you love your children an what you went through to have them healthy. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's not ugly or fucked up.
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I am vaginal mom and then c section mom....I didn't tear at all vaginally with my daughter and my csection had some complications healing. As long as both my kids were healthy, who cares how they were born! Things happen....just be happy you are all healthy and happy!Hakuna Mata....
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I think of c-section & vaginal scars to be the same as stretch marks. It is the price you pay to have your precious child & it doesn't bother me at all. They are all beautiful reminders of the life you created!
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I never had a C, but I really dont think it should matter. What counts is that we all had a healthy baby put into our arms. How it got there really is irrelevantThere are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
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I prefer the term cesarean birth. It's a way of honoring that it is just another form of giving birth and not "less than" having a vaginal birth. No offense meant to those who had a vaginal birth. :)
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I'm sort of confused because I have had 2 c-sections and my scars are NOT on my "belly" they are right above/in my pubic hair line (if I still had my pubes, I ladyscape). So any mom who has had the pleasure of only birthing their baby through their vagina hole and does not understand how a routine c-section goes is sadly misinformed/mistaken about where another moms scar is that has had a routine cesarian birth. Read up OC and good luck with your vag!
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When I saw this thread I thought, "fuck. Not this played out shit again..." Kudos ladies on a civil discussion! Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages, we women should not be against each other when it comes to childbirth issues! I DO have a scar from my c-section, but it is not noticible, it's in my pubs so you can't see it, stretch marks are waaaay worse. The only remark that ever hurt my feelings was made by a former member, talking about the nasty "fupa" all the c-section moms have...
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O.K. that's a new word to me...What is "fupa" @CollegeMom? Having had 3 c-sections, you'd think I know what it is..LOL
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fupa = fat upper pussy area
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Oooooh..LOL..Well I don't know about everyone else, but mine is fine thank ya very much =))
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I really have no idea what it is that pushes moms into this competitive area. "I had a c-section, so my vajayjay is still tight!" "I had a natural birth, so I don't have any nasty scars!"I mean, sure, look at the bright side. But not at the expense of other moms who didn't really have a choice. You had a baby. Period. Good on ya.See ya in another life, sister!
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Had an emergancy c-section but I can still wear a bikini :) (no stretch marks either) (oh and a beautiful heathy baby girl)"Magic things are fond of deceptions.” ― Tom Robbins
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I've had both. I hope if I have another, to have a vbac, but in the end I want a hhealthy baby.
I swear people can turn anything into a stinking competition. What is wrong in your life that you have to turn something like that into a superiority complex? -
Who cares honestly? The end result is all that matters. If I'd had a cesarean I'd proudly show that scar, which would be right in the same spot as one I already have from having an ectopic pregnancy removed. I had a vaginal birth, I still have the most beautiful vagina in all the land, and that shit is tight!
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Birth is wonderful and gross and amazing and terrifying and weird and sore and the best thing in the world. Full stop!"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
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@firsttimemommy i completely agree. kudos to you c-section mamas. that would scare me silly.
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I have an aunt who has a vertical emerg csection scar and no baby to show for it. I would never tell her its ugly.
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My friend had a c section and her belly is just fine, I've never noticed her scar and I've seen her belly plenty. I had a vaginal birth and dh can still go three times in 45 min so I'm no too worried c;
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birth is fucking hard no matter what. either way chances are there will be some evidence left over either way except the licky ones who have no scars or stretch marks. yay everyone for having babies*ad astra per alia porci*
my nuts hang like there aint no curfew -
i had an epidural/forceps birth, then a "natural" - ie, no medical intevention at all - birth, then a c-section birth.
the ones that i had intervention i had it because if i didn't then my babies would have died. i have to say in my opinion the natural birth was the one that was far easier to heal from. i would never have chosen a c-section, but hey, i'm glad my gorgeous girl got to live. if we hadn't had the c-section, we'd have both died in labour, so i'm proud to say i've done all three.
the natural birth was SUCH A RUSH though - if i could guarantee all labour/births would be like that, i'd have had 10 more kids. well, maybe not quite, but the euphoria was AWESOME.
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I've had both, and I would experience my vbac everyday for a week before I would have a section without a medical reason. That was an awesome high!
My vagina is just fine. My scar would only be noticeable in a very low cut bikini bottom, but does seem to accentuate my saggy belly, and still itches and tingles almost four years later.
As long as mom and her hcps have balanced out the risks and benefits, however you give birth is great. You just made a person! -
I've had 2 c-sections.... The first an emergency to save my twins and the 2nd I opted for. Im a big impatient baby and had no desire to ever feel labor or spend hours and hours more waiting to see my baby. So 3 kids and not 1 contraction felt and I wouldn't change a thing. Anyone that thinks that makes me less of a mom can suck it. I don't care how anyone else brings there baby into the world and why would I care if someone else is still tight or has a scarred tummy? Seems like a pointless thing to compete over
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Curious said:
I really have no idea what it is that pushes moms into this competitive area. "I had a c-section, so my vajayjay is still tight!" "I had a natural birth, so I don't have any nasty scars!"
I mean, sure, look at the bright side. But not at the expense of other moms who didn't really have a choice. You had a baby. Period. Good on ya.
^^^^ THIS! @curious said it perfectly!Suck it up buttercup! -
i have a friend who has a vertical scar, she had 2 c sections when they used to cut u vertically and it looks awful. the skin on either side of it kind of hangs down, i feel so bad for her. i wanted a c section but if they still did it like that, that would have sucked. it s not low on her belly either, there is no way she can wear a 2 piece bathing suit. but she didnt have a choice, it certainly doesn't make her any less of a woman.~slim shady~
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The only time c-sections bother me is when there isn't any reason to do it that way but the mother opted for it to not mess up their vajayjays
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Who cares how the baby came out? As long as the baby is healthy and thriving and mom is ok that is all that matters.
I'm with everyone else...why does there always have to be a competition? Save that shit for sports and board games or whatever, not parenthood.I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out! -
I hate that as women we look for all kinds of ways to tear each other down versus building each other up no matter how our babies got here, how we feed them, how we care for them, etc.
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I don't think it really matters; you give birth as circumstances dictate, and the toll of pregnancy and delivery is unpredictable and nothing for anyone to be smug over. I don't think anyone really wants stretch marks, scars, saggy boobs, diastasis, incontinence, etc. but these things happen to women and we need to be adults about it.I think the original poster was just reacting to some vitriolic, over-the-line comments from friends with some of her own vitriol. I can kind of understand it because my best friend, who has no children, likes to use the phrase "ruining your body" over and over again in a really pointed way when she talks about having children. (She has some good qualities so I keep her around.) There's really no way to defend yourself because there's just a general (and probably deliberate and malicious) misconception that vaginal birth = loose girly bits.I don't think I ruined my body in any way. I USED my body. I delivered vaginally twice and my girly bits look fine and are as tight as ever but I do have scarring that makes it feel a little more "rigid" than before. Whatever. It's not something I discuss with her because obviously she wants to feel better about herself at my expense.
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I agree to bristling at the ruining your body comments too. Whether you had a section or a vaginal delivery, you did one of the many things your body was designed to do - how is that ruining it? I bet we're all changed in one way or another post-childbirth. It's the people with the superiority complex and the fact that society loves to hide the reality that makes us feel ruined. I bet if you stripped down every one of those celebrity moms, in person, every one of them has a scar, a roll, something!
My 3 kids were born vaginally without meds (just the way things worked out, they came fast) and let me tell you, no one walked into the room with a medal or anything! Every birth is a wonderful birth, and people who make mean comments can go pound sand.
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Because of my emergency C-section my BOTH my twins are alive and healthy, so I'm not concerned that some shallow person is making an idiotic remark. Just shows that she is shallow!
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I had both. I did tear a little with my second but, to my knowledge, the Dh has not complained one bit about the condition of my vagina. :DAnd I'm sure if I didn't have the millions of stretch marks on my belly from my first you could see the scar, but, it's barely noticeable."I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown
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I myself had a vaginal birth, and I am happy with it. But I don't think this should be a fight between mothers. Weather you give birth vaginally or by C- section doesn't really matter. All that matters is getting to hold your healthy baby. Scars, and how your vagina looks shouldn't even be an issue, we all have battle scars! Much love to all the mother out there!!!
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The end result is the same so it doesn't really matter how they got here.
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I read an interview with Brooke Burke in a magazine and after four kids she still has an enviable figure but she mentioned that since her last pregnancy she has such bad melasma she doesn't leave the house without heavy makeup. I found it refreshing that she admitted she wasn't unchanged after pregnancy.
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I've had 4 natural births (and planning another in the next few weeks), if any thing down there is different DH hasn't been stupid enough to mention it. He's still happy to use the the one I have so I'm going to keep assuming it's all good down there.
I don't think it matters how we did it, we are all mummys end of story.
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I had my DD vaginally. That's rough. I can only imagine what it's like to be AWARE that several people are reaching inside of your open abdonimal cavity and pulling out a human being!
I've been through 5 surgeries throughout my life and each one I was knocked out and woke up, it was all over. The thought of being conscious while my Dr. is digging in me to bring my baby into the world is beyond my realm of comprehension.
HAIL TO THE C-SECTION MOTHERS!
HAIL TO THE VAGINAL MOTHERS!
^:)^ ^:)^why give 100% when 35 will get you paid & laid? - Kenny Powers :-P -
funny you say that, @SuburbanKenzo - when I went for my C-section, I could see a reflection of whatthey were doing to me in the light that was above me - they had a sheet up, so I wasn't supposed to be able to see. I thought, "hmm, this could be cool, I could wtch my baby being born". then they lifted the scalpel and I kind of freaked out very quietly to myself, but pulled myself together in time to get them to raise the sheet so I couldn't see. I decided I was better off not watching afer all, haha! And my head was going numb because the anaesthesiologist gave me too much, and he kept saying to me, "I can put you under if you want, I can put you under" and I was all "No, I'd really rather stay awake. even though i can't feel my head..."
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yeah i was awake for mine and i could feel them digging around in my belly. it didnt hurt at the time but i could def feel it. and my doctor had on a hawaian print shirt and a bandana on his head, and i could hear him singing margaritaville. at first i thought i was high on the epidural but the nurses told me it was real.~slim shady~
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I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!
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I had my dd vagunally 2 weeks ago. I finally got the nerve up to look at my lady bits in a mirror a couple of days ago. They things are certainly stretched out down there but they aren't the scary sandwich with overflowing meat situation I was afraid of. I do think things will continue to go back to normal, but if not I wouldn't take it back. I was able to deliver a healthy n happy baby all the effects of having a baby (including the trauma to my vag) is inconsequential.
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Here is my take on it...... I have 3 girls. My oldest (18 now) was 2 weeks over due. I delivered her naturally, and I hemorraged. She was born the color of a purple crayon. She was delivered via mid-wife in a military hospital. To this day, I believe that they should have taken her because they almost killed us both. BUT she is healthy and beautiful, so I should not complain.
My little ones are 9 - twins. They came 8 weeks EARLY. I delivered one with the help of forceps because the epidural completely shut me off down there. I felt nothing and was unable to push. They literally pulled her out of me. Her twin, however, refused to come down, so I had an emergency c-section with her. The c-section recovery SUCKED. Just putting that out there. And, by the way- my scar is invisible. You can't see it at all. It totally faded and is very very fine. My doc did a great job stitching me.
There you have it. I had a vaginal & a c-section on the same day.
In my opinion, who cares how you deliver! We are all mothers whether we deliver naturally, by c section, by surrogate, or by adoption. What difference does it make?
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As always, I'm late to the conversation... When I got pregnant with my son I had all these wonderful ideas about how I was gonna deliver naturally, maybe even a water birth. Then I got preeclampsia and needed an emergency c-section at 26 weeks. Fast forward three years to my 2nd pregnancy and I was planning on vbac. Well... Preeclampsia again and another emergency c-section, this time at 30 wks. At this point I cut my losses and figured vaginal births (not to mention more pregnancies) were just not in the cards for me. I will say that the recovery from my 2nd was significantly more difficult than the 1st. But I have 2 beautiful kids that really know how to make an entrance!
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I have 2 c-section births - both medically necessary. I had preeclampsia (swelling, high blood pressure, lots of bed rest) with my oldest (2 yrs) and a complete previa (LOTS of bleeding, rushed to hospital bleeding in an ambulance) with my baby (5 1/2 mths). I feel so very blessed and happy to have both of my beautiful girls and to be alive to watch them grow. I try not to let ugly comments get me riled up, and I certainly try not to make them.
All I can say is that pregnancy is nothing to joke about or make ugly comments about. Think of all the moms that went home without their babies or the babies that went home without their moms, or, in some cases, where no one went home at all. Instead of making ugly comments back to whatever someone said, maybe we should start thanking God or our lucky stars to be so very blessed.
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It shouldn't matter which way you gave birth just as long as your baby is healthy. I gave birth vaginally and the dr wasn't quick enough to give me an episiotimy (sp?) and I ended up tearing. My mom had to have c-sections for both me and my lil bro bc her body was so small that there was no way we would be able to pass vaginally.
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The user and all related content has been deleted.well behaved women seldom make history
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I have never understood why this is such a big deal to some people. I had my son vaginally but my body is also apparently built to have babies. Seriously, you'll all hate me after I tell you this, but I only had to push about 6 times before he came out. Unfortunately for my friend who really wanted an all natural delivery she got preeclampsia (or however the hell you spell that) and her babies heart rate dropped dramatically so she had to have an emergency c. Both of us are awesome moms and both of us have healthy, happy sons. The way we gave birth doesn't really matter in the long run.
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CallieFlower82 said:
Who cares how the baby came out? As long as the baby is healthy and thriving and mom is ok that is all that matters.
I'm with everyone else...why does there always have to be a competition? Save that shit for sports and board games or whatever, not parenthood.
@callieflower82 took the words right out of my mouth.
I couldn't agree more.
the truth has arrived...
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