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Only Child (DD) Off to College in the Fall
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,401Member
    DD18 is counting down the days to both HS graduation and heading off to college in the fall.  She will be attending a small liberal arts school about two hours away.  It's located far enough to be away from home, yet close enough for her to get back if she needed to. 

    Her time with us has gone by fast.  I'm happy to report that she has grown into a thoughtful, responsible and mature young lady.  DW and I couldn't be prouder!  Throughout HS, many have mistaken her for a college student (we live in a college town).

    I sometimes think about what life will be like at home without her.  DW and I will miss her terribly, but not unlike most other parents, I think.

    As I think about how she's grown up and will soon be leaving the nest, memories come flooding back.  I remember when she was born, the birthday parties, the first day at a new school, achievements, etc.  And I get choked up!  It's very hard for me to walk through the toy department at a big store, especially if I find myself walking past the dolls (choking up right now).

    What was it like for you to see your child leave the nest?  How have you coped with them not being at home?  How has it affected your relationship with your spouse or SO?  How is that relationship different now that your child has moved on?
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,848Member
    My DS is only 3...but I can tell you what my parents did when I left for college. They got their "lives" back. They went on vacations, caught up with old friends, etc. I love that they were able to do this! I was a 3 sport player and my Mom never missed a game, she was my personal cheerleader. That also took up ALL of her nights and weekends though the entire time I was in HS. Once I left, Mom wasn't going to travel the country for my softball games! Plus I only played one sport, so her spring season was tied up with my home games, but other than that her and my step-dad were living it up!!!
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 5,859Member

    My oldest daughter graduates June 1st, not only child (or oldest)... but first to graduate. Although my children's father & I are divorced, we're excited that she is graduating... but also a little sad that another child is growing up...


    ***ok scratch that our oldest child although a 19 year old father is not grown up or even moved out of his father's house... but thats a whole other ball game...***

    Ok, where was I? That's right... the good daughter... the one who has had so many struggles with math since kindergarten, yet is getting an A+ in math & is being excused from having to take a final in that class. The one who got a job & saved up her own $$ to buy herself a little car. Nothing fancy, just something to get back & forth to school & work. The one who has had the same boyfriend for almost 3 years... that boyfriend who is as much a part of our family as all 5 of our kids (he even has the same last name)...

    She graduates high school the day after her 18th birthday... then just a week after graduation... she's leaving...

    She's shipping all of her things from MA to NM... she is joining her boyfriend. He is in the Air Force. She's had her job set up a transfer to a local restaurant there, she had the hairstyling/cosmetology school that she was all set to go to up here set her up to go to a school down there. All of her FASFA/Financial Aid etc. is all set.

    My little girl... My Princess... My Mini-Me (literally, she looks just like a younger me) is leaving me...

    Her father & I sat down with her... discussed all of her options... what about this... what if THIS happens... we have been over EVERYTHING... but she is determined... she went over all of her pros... her cons... she is an amazing... wonderful... loving, caring, dedicated, terrific, young woman... & I have to let her go.


    I don't want her to leave...

    I did recently find out that a good friend who has a husband that is also in the Air Force, is living about an hour or so away right over the TX border. So that did make me feel a LOT better knowing there is someone out there she can turn to if there is ever an emergency and her dad & I can't get there right away.

     

    Do I have to let her go?....   :(

     

     

     
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,401Member
    @Megsue, this is what I'm hoping it will be like for DW and I.  I'm looking forward to having time to focus primarily on the two of us again.  The emotional intimacy is there.  I'm hoping that once DD is gone, DW and I will no longer be too tired at the end of the day for sex!  I'm hoping this is the beginning of an exciting new chapter in our marriage.

    @KDT7688, you have a wonderful daughter too!  A friend of mine whose kids have been grown for some time reminded me that just because they're leaving the nest doesn't mean you're no longer their parent.  They'll still need our love and support.  The relationship is not over; it simply continues to evolve!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    I am so in this same boat. DD17 is having Prom and convocation this week.  She inisists she is moving out in August after summer school for MAth 30.  

    I am torn with wanting her to stay home and being excited that she is heading out on her own. She'll be fine if she goes as she is very mature and has a good head on her shoulders, but I was expecting her to stay home longer so she could go to school.  She isn't going to school in the fall as she doesn't know what she wants to do.  I just wasn't expecting her to move out at 17.  I feel like I have failed in that she doesn't want to be around me any more than she absolutley has to.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 3,253Member
    My oldest left last year. It was hard, but for different reasons. He had no plans, no goals.......he was one with my couch. All the "plans" he made before graduating were ignored..... :(
    I had to have a come to jeebus talk with him.......this is what you MUST do to live here, otherwise, get the fuck out. He moved up north to my sisters. Took him about 6 months to figure out it was time to get serious. He has 2pt jobs and is starting classes this summer at a community college. I'm not EXACTLY sure why he is so much different the the rest of my tribe......I think it has A LOT to do with me still living at home when he was born and the highly caustic interference my female parental unit use cause.....
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 667Member
    :(  I have 2 at University. When my oldest moved into the dorm I hid in the bathroom and cried! LOL I was NOT ready for him to 'grow up'.  My oldest DD moved into the dorm this past fall that was even harder. Watching them both pack up and go on the same day!  I am so glad they both go to the same school AND it's less than an hour away :) They come home often on the weekends and for all the breaks. 

    We still have 2 at home... Not having my DD here is difficult on my youngest DS they've always been as thick as thieves. It helps to be able to connect on Facebook, texting etc. DS even got Skype so he can talk to her. 
    Oldest DS isn't as close with the family. I miss him a lot and am excited when he comes home but he graduates this year and I have a feeling he will head overseas for awhile..



    B
  • Sparkler999
    Posts: 5Member
    What was it like for you to see your child leave the nest? 
    How have you coped with them not being at home?  H

    There is another thread on empty nesters where i posted those responses.

     How has it affected your relationship with your spouse or SO?  How is that relationship different now that your child has moved on? 

    My spouse? I think that part is good cause we were living in 2 diff states for his job, I couldnt move due to custody issues and once they moved out I moved to where hubby is. I love him and we have a good relationship and I look forward to being with him. The only part that is rough at times as he doesnt have the emotional bond to them so he knows how much pain mine caused me and abuse, so he thinks I should be happy they are gone. Even when they are tough to raise, you still love them and miss the good things about them. 

    Im still new to this as its only one month since Im a total empty nester,  so cant comment on the relationship now as I have teen boys who went to live with their abusive Dad.  I dont hear from them and dont get replies to texts much.
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